Mulch.

That is all one could say.

Mulch.

He opened the door, so stealthily.

He sidled down the corridors so easily, without letting his feet make a sound.

The halls of Princeton Plainsboro had never seen such a stealthy creature.

Even knowing that he was wrapped in cam foil and almost completely invisible,

Mulch still practiced magnificent infiltration technique.

Except for one problem.

With every step

He was humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

"Mulch!" Foaly spoke into his mike.

Mulch jumped for a moment at the sound in his earpiece.

"What?"

Mulch could hear the grinding of Foaly's teeth on the other end.

"This is your first time using cam foil right?"

"Well yeah. I mean you LEP guys are usually the only fairies with this sort of gear."

"Then you realize that you are completely invisible, right?"
"Yes. Of course, it's cam foil. It CAMouflages the wearer. Look out Foaly, the criminal knows about cam foil! He's gonna steal your carrots!"

Foaly snorted and cut the com line for a silent fume. He did not like carrot jokes.

Mulch resumed his humming as he tiptoed down the crowded Princeton-Plainsboro hospital hallway and expertly picked the lock to slip into the records office. This time to the tune of the Bond theme. As he was making his big finish and locking the door behind him, Foaly resumed communication.

"Hello? Master of the cam foil?"

Mulch smiled at the unusually kind title he had received.

"What is that delightful tune you're humming?"

Mulch answered cautiously, knowing this was a set-up.

"Just a tune from some mud-movie."

"WHICH mud movie?"

"I dunno." A lie. Mulch had seen the flick a dozen times.

"Well, don't bother stepping back out but... Did ya see that mud man standing back there in the hallway? The one you passed? Did you notice how he was looking about randomly like he might have been crazy? You should ask him because he apparently heard at least half of your ENTIRE performance! Maybe HE can remember which movie it came from for you!."

Mulch winced. Though through the wince he stifled a giggle at how much Foaly excellent and unintentional impression of Julius Root.

With the door nicely locked behind him and no windows to speak of, Mulch sat down upon the floor, took off his cam foil and waited for Foaly to do his work deciding to reflect upon recent events.

Like how long the author has taken in finally posting this scene.

Mulch could only shake his head in disgust. It was ridiculous.

But hopefully worth it, since the story was FINALLY moving forward rather than just establishing backgrounds for the events to come. Even so, Mulch couldn't shake the feeling that this scene needed to be longer, more satisfying. So the little dwarf knelt down, and pleaded with the fourth wall to break just enough for his wish to be granted, and so it was.

A transmission came in through Mulch's earpiece.

"Mulch? This is Fowl. We're in position. We've smuggled Foaly in successfully and are setting up an HQ in one Dr Wilson's office. Tell me, are you comfortable where you're at?"

Mulch was startled by the sudden transmission. Mostly because Fowl didn't bother with using a codename.

"Arty? You're supposed to call me by my codename, 00Diggums!"

Mulch could hear Artemis sigh on his end of the connection.

"Code names like that only would make things needlessly complicated, we're using fairy tech that humans like myself CAN'T intercept even if they were aware of our presence here. Now, are you able to hold your position until he end of this operation?"

Mulch made a sulky face. He liked his suggestions for code names.

"I'm here aren't I mud boy? And yeah I can stay here and wait. I guess. But just so you know It's REALLY boring over here."

Artemis nodded to himself and glanced over at Holly, who was at that moment putting a very detailed mesmer on the original resident of their makeshift HQ in the hospital.

Foaly was setting up shop with his equipment, getting ready for the rather long list of fine-tuned mind wipes ahead. Artemis elected to run a recap of the situation that also shamelessly serves as exposition as to the how and why he was now in New Jersey.

First, Butler was already there somewhere in the hospital in need of healing and retrieval.

Second, he had apparently revealed fairy existence while delirious to one Haley Small.

Third, apparently the diagnostician treating Butler, one Dr House, is privy to this information, as is his staff, and Dr Wilson whom is also the unwilling primary source of reconnaissance on this mission thanks to the mesmer.

Lastly, since in order to minimize risk, mind wipes of the entire hospital staff seem prudent. And since this is a hospital, a blanket wipe could cause casualties among the patients being treated. Hence why they needed to bring Foaly along to perform the fine-tuned wipes.

Artemis nodded again to himself. Objective: Find Butler and discreetly retrieve him. Additionally remove all evidence of fairies and any knowledge of them from the minds of those that might have acquired this knowledge. And of course prevent meddling in the affairs of the hospital sufficiently to cause human casualties.

Artemis smiled, it was a simple set of objectives. But then again, so was the kidnapping. And the false-assassination/rescue of his father. And memories of the C-Cube leaped to mind. And the events immediately after acquiring the "Fairy Thief"... In short no part of his life that has brought him near his fairy friends has EVER been simple. The smile faded, but it came back moments later, after all there was always a first time for everything.

Holly finished her mesmer and sent the dazed Dr Wilson out into the hallway on his rounds. She glanced over at Foaly and then at Artemis, noticing that his expression was changing between a relieved smile and his usual wrinkled brow. She could only guess what was going on in his head. She could plainly see that Foaly was rather annoyed by the circumstance. Mulch didn't exactly sound that cheery either while they were all on their way.

"Gang's all here..." Holly thought to herself with a bitter smile, then she caught herself. Why was she so sad since entering the hospital? It was like, like the whole building was its own little world, one where every single person that enters might become hopelessly overcomplicated and whiny about how miserable they are. But at the same time, despite a sudden urge to lie with every breath, the whole experience seemed pretty cool.

She suddenly felt like acting overly cynical and dramatic, as though if she got a nosebleed it might somehow turn into spell-trophy that would be cured by some horribly simple yet obscure and unexpected means, with a sort of heavy handed non-moral designed to highlight how miserable and tormented the people that dwell within the hospital really are. Actually, she just wondered why none of them could just get together to visit sometime. And the author is completely shameless in trying to stretch this scene as far as it will go. And he just ran out of material for this scene, and the next scene should come up soon assuming nothing terrible happens and said author would like to apologize sincerely for how long it has been since the last update.

All of those that have read and reviewed so far have been immensely helpful, and I probably will rewrite this to be an expanded scene later and remove this big apology. Please review, it helps me to write more and I'm just now coming out of a dry and busy spell so I need all the help I can get. Thank you all of you who have read this far, I hope to please.