Pure Insanity – The Rock
A/N: And you thought this story was over…XD
-The camera fades on a scene of much disarray – the picture even has a huge scratch running from the top left to the bottom right. Chairs, papers, and other clutter litter the room, and the desk now seems to be broken in different places. Tracey and Sarah observe the mess in the background, both looking serious in face.-
Sarah: …Maybe they won't notice!
-As Sarah says this, the desk collapses in a heap of wood. All girls jump back in surprise. When the dust clears, the three just continue to stare.-
Tracey: …You were saying?
Sarah: Do you think they'd believe us if we said a mini-tornado hit us? I think that could explain it…
Tracey: A mini-tornado DID hit us. Its name is Ocy and VF.
Sarah: …Right.
Tracey: Where did those two psychos go anyway?
Sarah: They slipped out when I was going to kill them. Apparently they do not want to witness my wrath…that or they did their damage and went home…
Tracey: …Probably the latter.
Sarah: Hey! My wrath kicks ass!
Tracey: Right. Anyway…
Sarah: …
-VF walks in, quite cheerfully, sitting on a chair, which breaks on her the minute she does. She gets up, suddenly noticing the mess-
VF: Hey, what happened?
Sarah: …You and Ocy broke the place?
VF: We did? Last thing I remember…is seeing Spike.
Tracey: …You blanked out? Woah.
VF: Hm. That's troubling. –ponders- Hey, where's Felicia?
Sarah: She ran off. Apparently she said she didn't want to get in trouble. Like we're going too.
VF: Oh. Hey! I know what I'll do to fix this!
Tracey: …Find a couple thousand dollars to fix this place before they see?
VF: Noo…I'll take Felicia's place!
Sarah: No, that's al-
VF: YES?!?! OKAY!!! I WILL BE!!!!
Tracey and Sarah: O_o
Sarah: But…
VF: YAAAYYY!! I'M A HOSTIE, I'M A HOSTIE!
Tracey: -to Sarah- Dude, don't bother.
VF: -oblivious- Yaayyyy!!!
Sarah: …I see your point.
Tracey: It's pretty dirty in here. Not good for an interview.
VF: I know!
-VF pulls out a TV from her pocket, because she can, and puts it down in front of Tracey and Sarah.-
VF: The TV can solve all our problems!
Tracey: …It can?
VF: Yes! See!
-She turns it on and a dude is on there, selling something.-
Dude: Are you in deep shit?
Sarah and Tracey: …O_o
VF: YES WE ARE!
Dude: Is your room destroyed by rabid Spike fans?
Tracey: -staring at TV- …I dare not ask…
VF: See! Help us, Mr. TV man!
Dude: Okay! –cheerfully-
Sarah: …Dude, why doesn't Raven talk to me when I talk to him when he's on TV?
VF: -ignoring her- What should we do?
Dude: For three installments of $99.99, you can have the magical cleaning kit!
VF: YEAY!
Sarah: THREE PAYMENTS?
Dude: Yes, three payments, cheap ass!
Sarah: …Grr…
VF: I have lint, and a piece of candy Mr. TV Guy!
Dude: …Eh, that's enough. So call now, and tell them Dude sent you! This message will blow up your TV in five seconds.
VF: Bye bye!
-The TV blows up with a little pop, and Sarah and Tracey just stare as VF takes out a phone and calls a random number-
VF: -into phone- Hello, I'd like to buy the magical cleaning kit!
Sarah: Shouldn't we stop her?
Tracey: Naw, she can't possibly destroy this place any worse.
Sarah: …True…
VF: It's coming? Yay!
-Suddenly something knocks on the door. And the door falls over. Poor door. Some guy stands there, a big box behind him. He drags it through the now open door. He seems to be reading something as he speaks-
Delivery Guy: Thank you for buying this product. Please do not put it by open flame or anything that could cause mass destruction. Thank you.
-The guy scurries off. The box starts moving.-
Sarah: O_o It's alive!
Tracey: …Y'know, why do I get this feeling…
-The box bursts open suddenly and amid the newly made cardboard mess, the contents have made itself known, and it just so happens to be…-
Tracey and Sarah: O_o; Tiara?
Tiara: Whu…where am I? –looks dizzy- Some guy jumped me and put me in a box! Oww.
VF: YEAY!! MAGICAL KIT!! –she runs up and hugs Tiara-
Tiara: Magical kit? Eh?
Tracey: …I think you've been ripped off, VF…
VF: -looks horrified- No! No! The TV doesn't lie! YOU'RE HERE TO CLEAN, RIGHT!? RIGHT!?
Tiara: -bites lip- …Maybe?
VF: YEAY!!!! –does a happy dance-
Tracey: -leans to whisper to Tiara- We'll help you.
Tiara: Alright. –she glances around- What happened here?
Sarah: Spike came around and…
VF: SPIKE?! WHERE!?
Tiara: -understanding- I see.
Tracey: -looks around- …How are we supposed to interview with this place looking like this?
Tiara: Hm, I know.
-They all look at her-
VF: Oo, does Tiaraness have an idea?!
Tiara: -beams- How can you tell?
VF: 'Cuz Sarah is holding a light bulb over your head and it's on. –nods knowingly-
-Sarah gives an 'oops' look and puts the bulb away-
Sarah: Couldn't help it, heh. ^_^
Tracey: …Anyway.
Tiara: Yeah, exactly. Anyway, I figure…this is a fic right?
Tracey: Apparently.
Tiara: So why can't the author just magically through the forces of her typing fingers make it all clean.
Tracey: …Seems like a plausible idea.
-Suddenly the whole room, like magic, is clean, and there's even a flower pot on the desk…for some weird reason.-
VF: -giggles- Nice touch.
Sarah: HEY! MAKE RAVEN MAGICALLY APPEAR!
-Suddenly a big guy in a raven suit (the bird, mind you), appears. They all stare at him-
Suit guy: What the fuck are youse looking at? –he takes a drag of his cigarette-
Tracey: -makes a face- …I think we've quite possibly found someone who is worse then the real Raven.
Sarah: -to the ceiling- …Not A raven…THE Raven!
Tiara: Should have specified…
Sarah: Damnit Tracey, your real self is just as bitchy as your self here!
Tracey: -beams- Duh.
Suit guy: -sits in a chair- Er…caw…cluck…
Sarah: He doesn't even sound like him! –pouts-
-Suddenly a kilt pops on the suited guy-
Suit guy: …Why am I wearing a skirt?
Tracey: ^^; It's a kilt!
Sarah: -annoyed- NOT FUNNY!
VF: Hey, make Spike appear!
-A spike appears in VF's hands. Looks a little like a stake, yanno, Buffy-style.-
VF: Aw, this isn't Spike, but what a cool toy!
-VF starts chasing the suit guy around with it-
Suit Guy: AHH! What the fuck?! –wheeze-
Tiara: You know, I think this whole thing is getting more and more off-balance.
Sarah: Or more insane.
Tiara: Same thing.
Sarah: True…
-VF continues to chase the poor kilt-wearing raven suit guy around with the spike as Tracey looks at the list-
Tracey: Rock is next?
Tiara: ROCK?!
Tracey: …Oh boy.
Sarah: Pretty funny how that happens, the time Tiara comes Rock is next?
Tracey: I'm just a figment of her imagination like you guys are, though yeah, it is a funny coincidence. Still, don't ask me.
Sarah: I'm not a figment! Hey, wait a second...if I'm a figment...that means I can be a MUSE!
All (yes, even the suit guy): O_O
Suit guy: …What's a muse?
Sarah: …Heh heh heh…-smiles evilly-
Tiara: -to Suit guy- Something that inspire someone to write a certain thing. In Sarah's case, it'll involve Raven.
Suit guy: -points to suit- …raven?
Tiara: No no. Not A raven…he's a guy, see.
Sarah: Bahaha. –starts to search for that magical muse bag-
Tracey: Ah, that's not advisable, Sarah…
Sarah: Molly and Raven…some Raven slash…I just need to find that muse bag…
Tracey: O_o;; VF, please…
VF: Righto! –beams and instantly through the magic of this fic (and oh, there is much magic), she instantly ties the still evilly smiling Sarah, who seems undaunted by being trapped-
Sarah: I know how to get to her now! A muse, huh?! Wait until I get out of these ropes. VF! VF! You can be a muse too! Imagine it…Spike! Lots of Spike!
VF: -perks up- …Eh?!
Tracey: -instantly tapes her mouth shut- Nothing at all, VF.
VF: -unsure- …Okay.
Tracey: …Hey…where did Tiara go?
-They all look around (Yes, even the suit guy. XD), but Tiara, beanie and all, was no where to be found-
VF: Y'know what THAT means, dontcha?
Tracey: What?
VF: With my weasel awareness, I would figure Tiara is outside clinging to Mr. Rock.
Tracey: …
VF: He's probably dying of lack of oxygen.
Tracey: …
VF: Tracey?
Tracey: How long does it take to die of lack of oxygen?
VF: TRACEY!
Tracey: WHAT! I don't like Rock. -_-
Suit guy: Killing people is fun.
-The three look at him strangely-
Suit guy: What?
VF: -raises stake again- BACK TO WORK! XD
-VF goes back to chasing the suit guy around.-
Voice (O.C.): -muffled- Who in the bluf hel are youf?
Tracey: Fine, I'll save him.
-Tracey sighs, walking out of the room. After a loud Tiara screeching sound, Tiara stomps in to the room and on camera pouting. Soon afterwards, Tracey walked in glumly, Rock behind her. He seems agitated for obvious reasons-
Tiara: Roccckk! –sighs happily-
Rock: -repeating- Who in the BLUE HELL are you people? The Rock says…
VF: -stops- Wow, you'd think after losing oxygen for a while he'd let go of his hot air.
Rock: -annoyed- Listen to the Rock when he talks to you.
Suit guy: -hides behind Rock- …She's trying to kill me!
Tracey: The guy needs to go.
-Suddenly the suit guy disappears. VF whimpers, lowering her spike-
VF: AW. I was jes playing with 'em.
Tracey: Ahem. Rock, we just want to interview you.
Tiara: I don't!
Tracey: Okay, besides Tiara, we want to interview you. She…well…
Tiara: -sits with an odd smile-
Tracey: …Yeah. Anyway, let's make this as painless as possible.
Sarah: I'm going to get out of these ropes, JUST YOU WAIT!
Rock: -Raises eyebrow-
VF: -sniffles- I'm bored now. –plops down-
Tiara: -suddenly clings to Rock's leg- I LOVE YOU!
Rock: Get this roody poo candy ass off my leg!
-He starts hopping around on one foot, trying to hit her off. Tiara doesn't seem to want to let go any time soon-
VF: …Wonder how much candy would it take to make an ass. Hm.
-A bulb lights up over VF's head-
VF: …SARAH!
Sarah: WHAT! I'm tied up!
-VF looks behind her to see Tracey standing there this time. She gives a half-grin-
Tracey: Sorry. –puts light bulb away-
VF: XD I'm gonna make a candy ass!
All but VF: o_o;;;
VF: WEE!
-VF runs around, picking candy up that suddenly appeared-
Tracey: …I really need new co-hosts.
Tiara: Y'know, Rock…
Tracey: Let's just interview, shall we? –looks around, realizing no one is in any condition to interview with her- …Talking to myself, I guess.
VF: MUAHAHAHA! –making her sculpture-
Sarah: You can't keep me tied up forever!
Tiara: Mine! –cuddles his leg-
Tracey: -deadpan- How does it feel to be the people's champion?
Rock: The Rock says that it's the most ELECTRIFIYING EXPERIENCE…
-Out of no where, Ocy pops into the room and shocks Rock with some kind of voltage machine. Tiara lets go just as he starts shaking from the charges. He falls over-
All but Rock: OCY?!
Ocy: XD Electrifiying! –giggle-
Rock: -twitches-
Tracey: I think you killed him!
-Tracey kicks him lightly with her foot. He just twitches again-
Tiara: -wails- ROCK!
Ocy: …Oops? HEY! A CANDY ASS! :D
-Ocy skips over to VF, who is still busy with his masterpiece-
VF: Innit cool?!
Ocy: Yep yep!
Tracey: …How many years do you think we'll get for killing a wrestler?
Sarah: I think we should be more worried about the millions and millions of the Rock's fans.
Tracey: But most of them are just whiney little kids.
Sarah: And rednecks!
Tracey: …Yes, and rednecks.
Tiara: HEY!!!
Tracey: Oh, and then there are people like Tiara. Who isn't either of that since she can kill me.
Sarah: Exactly.
Tiara: I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
-Tiara instantly runs at Ocy, who blinks before taking off-
Ocy: GACK! OUTTA ME WAY!
-As she runs past them, she steps on Rock's still twitching body. Tracey and the still tied up Sarah just watch in utter shock-
Tracey: …We are in deep shit.
Sarah: You aren't breaking the law if you aren't caught. Let's dump his body somewhere.
Tracey: Okay, Sarah. You can pick up the huge man.
Rock: -groan-
Tracey: He's alive!
VF: TRACEY TRACEY LOOK!
-Suddenly VF bounds over with a heavy ass-shaped candy substance. Suddenly Ocy runs by and causes VF to drop the candy. It plops right on one of Rock's arms. He instantly recoils, crying out in pain-
Tracey: VF!!! O_O
VF: …Oops?
-Tiara and Ocy stop to watch with everyone else the view of Rock crawling out of the room. Sarah finally frees herself of the ropes but doesn't really do anything but stare as well.-
Tiara: …I'll help you, Rock!
-Rock gets out the door and Tiara follows him. Tracey just sighs and shakes her head-
Tracey: I'm glad my real self didn't put the word 'interviewing' in the title of this story.
VF: Oh, poop. My masterpiece!
-She kneels in front of it and starts to wail-
VF: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ocy: …CANDY!
-She starts happily eating it. VF stops screaming, shrugs, and starts eating too-
Sarah: …I'm free! Why was I tied up again?
Tracey: No clue.
Sarah: …Oh well. I think that went well!
Tracey: -turns to look at her- How could you say that? We didn't even ask one question, and Ocy shocked him, stepped on him, and VF dropped a heavy candy-made ass on his arm! I think we're in for a lawsuit!
Sarah: We've been asking for one forever. We did kidnap a large amount of people, after all!
Tracey: …When you put it that way…
VF: Hey Ocyness, wanna be a host too?!
-Sarah and Tracey instantly turn around to see them still gobbling candy-
Ocy: OKAY!
Sarah and Tracey: O_o
VF: YAY! XD
Tracey: …We're never going to interview again, are we?
Sarah: Not likely.
Tracey and Sarah: -sigh-
-Sarah moves to the camera, and the last thing on the screen before fading out is the two new hosts finishing their sugary meal-