Dear mage,
Thank god you can't read Japanese. You're sitting in front of me, giving me a clueless look as you study the words you can't read. Thank heavens Majuu's powers only apply to spoken word.
Fuck. Even now it's hard to talk, with you sitting directly across from me, just staring at me with your dammed big eyes! Damn you mage, go away! You make everything so fucking difficult! Do you know your god dammed irritating?!
Now you're giving me the clueless look 'cause I'm growling at the paper. You're going to ask if I'm fine in a minute, and when I say I am, you're going to turn away with that tiny smile you think I never fucking notice.
And see, there. You just did it. You don't give a damn that I growled at you, because it doesn't matter I did if I'm fine, even if you're not.
Did you honestly think I don't hear you cry at night? You wait until the kids are asleep, and until my breathing has slowed and I'm perfectly still before you start sobbing.
First of all, if you don't want anyone to notice you're not fine, don't cry. Second, did you really think no one would care? The kids adore you; the Manjuu loves you. Third, it doesn't matter what happened in your past, dammit. Live now!
I'm not going to pry into your fucking past. That can be something you keep completely secret. But you should answer some of the kids' questions instead of smiling and dodging the fucking question. You can't run forever. Sooner or later, you'll get caught, by whoever you're running from.
Look, you have problems. So do the kids. The princess's never going to remember the kid, no matter what he does, and all he can do is smile blandly and hope they're still going to be friends. Kid's fucking blind, for some reason he's not telling.
What happened to me doesn't matter, because I'm living now. So stop being so hung up on whatever happened in Celas or Cetal or whatever the world you came from is called.
If you constantly wear a mask, people who can't see past it will make assumptions for you, and decide for you, and you do not want that. I'm not saying you need to tell me your fucking life story, just don't give me that god dammed smile all the time!
And will you stop trying to grab the paper?! It's not like you can read it anyway. You'll just give it a blank smile, hand it back and say sorry Kuro-pipi or whatever awful name you can come up with. Is that the only way you know how to handle being around me? Bugging me to the brink of insanity?!
Fuck. If you would stop annoying me, I could finish this. Stupid mage.
Have I ever called you by your name? I'm not going to until you call me by mine without tacking on some irritating honorific, if it can even be called that. Stupid Fai.
Look, mage. Take a breath and calm down. No one here's going to hurt you. The princess hasn't got a mean in her body, something that may harm her more than it helps her. She'd give her last yen away to a fucking beggar.
Kid wouldn't dream of hurting you either. He's been so hurt himself.
I wouldn't either, dammit. Because you're fucking right. We – the kid, the manjuu, the princess, you, me – somehow became a family.
It sounds so much better in my head than on paper.
But just relax, mage. I'm not going to hurt you.
I don't hurt those I love. Even if they are the most annoying bastards I have ever met. And I'll never, ever hurt you if I can help it. I swear.
Kurogane.
-PS STOP DOODLING ON THE FUCKING PAPER, MAGE! I'LL KILL YOU!
Author's Comment: Fai's letter to Kurogane was so much better. I hate this one.