This is the first time I ever wrote a fanfic, please let me know how if you enjoy it or not I already have 5 Chapters of it and progressing into more.

Chapter 1

EPOV

I was leaving the Administration Office and wondering around the Campus, being with my family these days was harder than i ever expected it to be. Every time I caught some of them looking at me and wondering if I was ever going to get over her I could see myself in their eyes, and the reflection was disturbing. Esme looked at me with so much pity that it was even harder to stay around her, her thoughts frequently started with "Poor Edward...." that just made it harder for me.

I few humans were still on the streets speeding up as if something dangerous was approaching, I sighed and thought to myself I must look much threatening to human eyes than I ever did before. I have been trying to block other people thoughts when not necessary to check if there was some creative human wondering about the weird nature of the Cullens.

I sped up as well trying to keep up my human charade when I caught that scent in the air, the scent that made my throat burn into flames and made my mouth flood with venom, the scent that I fought to resist time and time again back in Forks when.... Before I could control myself i was already chasing that scent speeding up but trying to manage my speed and keep it slightly faster than human pace. The scent was closer and I could see her, my angel, the one that changed my life completely the one I left trying to keep the dangers of our world from, the one face I held so tight to never forget.

She was walking away from the library with her brown hair over her ivory skin, her melting chocolate brown eyes, her warmth, so warm I could almolst feel her in my arms again. She looked the same, time had not changed her a bit but there was something utterly wrong with her eyes, they looked pained, no not pained, numb as if the world arround her didn´t exist at all. I kept following her from distance, watching her, trying to figure what was wrong, fighting the urge to hold her in my arms and make it all go away...

She came to a stop and looked in my direction but her blind human eyes could not see me and I smiled as if she could. She looked to the sky and let out a groan and then a tiny smile slipped from her lips and pain crossed her eyes, I could not make sense of what she was doing she crossed her arms around her chest so tight as if to keep it from breaking down to pieces, that bothered me.

Without being able to recall the reasons for leaving her I followed , this was not right, this was not how she was supposed to look after that long time, she should be happy. She walked faster as if something troubled her and stop in front of her house, immediately and laughing at the cliche I looked for her window and came in closing it an rearranging the papers that had been blown away by the wind. I hid the in her closet and listed while she cleaned up something in the kitchen. When she came to her room she stopped before her desk and rearranged the papers. Was she that methodical now that a small difference would make her notice?

I watched as prepared to go to bed Her "human minute" as she called, I smiled at this memory. When she finally was in bed she had a hard time to sleep rolling to one side to the other. She groaned

"Great Bella, That´s what you get for letting your memories get to you" What memories would perturb her that would make sleeping so hard?

She hold tight to her chest again and started crying I had to fight the urge to take her and soothe her pain, she cried for a long time, letting out long sobs like she was breaking down, in deep despair. And finally she fell asleep. I moved to her side and caressed her forehead that even in her sleep was creased in worry she smiled as if she was aware I was there, soothing her and then she spoke for the first time that night, something I didn´t expect to listen in a long time.

"Edward" She called smiling at my name, I smiled to, she was dreaming about me, my name coming out from her lips made me feel alive again, and I knew I still belonged to her, and that forever she would belong to me.

She started rolling in her bed again with sobs and tears rolling from her eyes I wanted to wake her up and tell her I deserved hell for what I had done to her that I would be hers forever if she could only forgive me, but I couldn´t, not yet, I had to see my family first. Before she woke up I left and headed to our house, humming her lullaby.

BPOV.

I left the library after not being able to find something interesting, after those months I could finally pick up my taste for reading but it had change, I couldn´t stand romances and I kept myself to Police Novels. I tried horror once but the "fairy tale" monster world lit up memories that I didn´t want running on the loose.

The night was cold, Dartmouth was cold and reminded me a bit of Forks this time of the year but it was not painfull, since I had no memories here it was safer than home, the nightmares had stop for a long time now but the numb was still in place. When I left Forks to attend to college I also left my personal sun behind, well not mine exactly since he was now Leah´s. Jake promised that his relationship with Leah would not mess our friendship but I figured it was better not to ruin things for him, he didn´t need to suffer with me and Leah was not very fond of me, for all my vampire friendship time.

I was still thinking about Forks and how my mom and Charlie had set all things up behind my back to pay for my tuition, when I had a strange feeling that someone was watching me I looked around but all I could see was darkness and few shapes forming in it, on the other side of the street, one of the lights were off so I couldn't manage to check it, I let it go probably it was just my books getting to me. I felt a shiver and looked up to the sky, I let out a low groan, It was going to snow. The snow brought back memories of Forks of that day where he first talked to me. "Hi, my name is Ed..." I stopped the memory there, I could feel the holes taking shape inside me again and involuntarily I threw my arms around my chest trying to hold myself in one piece.

I headed home speeding up, it was too cold and I was hungry, I have spent all day looking for books, but in the end I decided I would spend my holidays cleaning up the house since Forks was out of question and Rene was on her third honeymoon with Phil.

When I got home I felt the eyes on my back again and without thinking i turned but again, there was nothing there. I guess i was starting to look a bit like Rene in that sense, impressive books always get to her, I chuckled.

The house was warm and dry and that gave me deep satisfaction.

"Julie? Are you home?" I asked but got no answer.

I walked to the kitchen counter to find her note. "Bella, left early for my parents house, Happy Holidays. Julie". Great, that gave me more days alone. Julie was my roommate, she was a good company for me, she was a mix of Angela in her non intrusive way and Jessica with her endless talking. Good thing about her is that I never had to work hard to keep up conversations, and she noticed when I needed my times alone. In someways it was good to be around her, her happy atmosphere soothed some of my pain.

I cleaned up the little things Julie left for me, that annoyed me I expected something to do when I got home so I just moved to my bedroom. When I got there something looked out of place. The papers of my projects were not where I left them well maybe Julie was trying to find the notes I got from her last week.I placed everything back and started to prepare to go to bed.

I lied down but sleeping was harder than I thought.

"Great Bella, That´s what you get for letting your memories get to you" I groaned annoyed with myself.

I could not stop thinking about that day, the first time he talked to me his velvet voice, the liquid gold eyes, the smile I loved... I was gasping for air and felt the tears rolling down my cheeks I couldn´t hold anymore I broke down into infinite sobs and let my self drown in the pain.