WARNING: THIS IS SLASH.

You have a choice to read this and accept it for what it is. If you cannot and instead leave a flame after being warned of what this story is, you are declaring yourself to be illiterate due to your inability to understand that very bold and very obvious warning directly above this.

If you do like slash as much as I do, then please read on (and review)! I'm sure you will love the slash I've cooked up!

Disclaimer: I have no claim, in any way or form, over either Harry Potter or Twilight, and I do not pretend to. I do however, own this plot, and though it's based on both stories, it veers dramatically away from both at one point in time. So do not steal it please!

Summary: Being sent to Forks for a Muggles Studies project was not expected. Meeting a group of vampires at his muggle school was not expected. Falling in love with one of them was definitely not expected. But he did all three.

A/N: So this is my first story I've posted on Fanfcition for three years (My other two are on a different account- which is abandoned due to my embarrassment of my immaturity in my writing) and I'm dreadfully worried. I adore reviews and criticism especially, and I will make a point to respond to them all. You guys are, after all, the only reward we Fanfiction writers can hope for.

Ignores the epilogue of Harry Potter and of course almost everything in Twilight, except for some of the first book.

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Definitely Not Disney
By Shadow Hunt

Prologue

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Harry Potter never had a normal life, whether it was due to his own doing or that of another; it spelled out Weird with a capital 'W'. Perhaps a bit of Chaos too, with a touch of Madness could be read in the story of Harry's life. Though whatever it read, the point being is that Harry Potter expected the unexpected even in things that really shouldn't have a surprise to give him. Therefore, when his repeat of seventh year at Hogwarts came around, just after the fall of the feared Lord Voldemort, he was prepared for some twist in his story, as if there weren't enough already.

The twist that came though was not anything a man of eighteen, no matter how seasoned in war he was, could truly prepare himself for. Sure, he had his spells and tricks and even a few potions to shield and ready him for the worst of ploys, but what he found himself facing in the stuffy classroom belonging to the Muggle Studies teacher, was nothing a spell could fix. At least, no spell that wouldn't have more consequences than pros for Harry, such as an even stuffier and more frightening cell in Azkaban or the lesser demon, but just as equally frightening, being expelled from Hogwarts.

Now what devastating event could make such a hero even consider spells at such a dark level you ask? The answer, which if you would be patient will come in due time, is actually quite simple and seemingly harmless. In fact, most of the students around Harry when the batty teacher told them the news were ecstatic and clearly eager for the experience. An experience, Harry knew, that no matter how knowledgeable it seemed to be at its forefront, could only lead to disaster of the worst kind.

How wrong he was.

Before the rest of such a heartwarming story is revealed though, perhaps you should read the events that played out before The-Boy-Who-Lived took his farthest journey and met his greatest treasure, since they are quite interesting if not a tad bit humorous. For you have an embarrassed red head just as willing to hex the teacher's knickers off as Harry, a bossy brunette who found it her goal in life to prove to Harry that this experience would only bring good, and two knowing smiles from two very different people. Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom are after all different in almost every way except for their hearts, which both love and wish the best for young Harry. They knew that he hadn't yet fully realized how deep their love goes, but they both knew that he would discover it in due time. Hopefully from this experience, but that was only a hope before Harry actually left for America.

The first event happened in the Muggles Studies classroom, which started the first major turn in Harry's story. That was where the teacher informed them of a trip each of them would be taking in one month for a mandatory semester, followed by an optional second semester for extra credit if they so wished (Which Harry didn't and swore he never would). Each trip would be different for each person, she had said, for no one person was going to be even in the same country as another in that classroom. This of course was where little red flags begun to spring in Harry's mind, but the alarms didn't start ringing until he walked up to the front of he classroom and drew 'Forks, Washington' from the hat on the table.

He panicked, and in that panic the students taking Muggle Studies and their teacher learned that their great savior knew quite a lot more curse words then they thought he knew. The fact was, that they had somehow developed a pure image of Harry in their minds after he felled the Dark Lord, even considering how many facts there had been throughout the many years that contradicted that image. Now though, they couldn't ignore the angered presence of the dark haired boy yelling at his teacher at the insanity of this project. He questioned many things and received a few nods and twice as many whimpers as a response. The only thing he asked which received a true answer was whether the Headmistress had confirmed such an outrageous thing. He was told to ask her himself, and when he did later that day, he knew that there was nothing he could do to get out of this because the Headmistress had indeed agreed and even supported the project.

But back to the classroom after Harry had settled down and waited in his seat to hear the terms of the trips they were to take. They ended up being very simple all things considering. Before anything was said though, they were lectured on how to keep muggles ignorant of magic, which all knew of and had heard more times then they had fingers. Then came what the project was, and with it a harsh speech from their teacher Mrs. Beckley where she said, "You have been assigned to one random town in one random country where you will stay with a muggle family as a foreign exchange student attending the closest muggle school." There was more that had been said of course, but the base of it all was that. Next was the terms specific to the project, they are as followed: No magic unless in dire need, no magical artifacts unless they can be taken for a muggle item, no traveling away from where you are assigned, no failing any of the muggle subjects since they did actually count, no skipping any NEWT practice exams which they were to have once a week to make sure they still studied, to follow the country's laws, and not to do anything they would need to have a parents permission for, such as marriage. (The last being the cause they had stop this project a little under forty years ago.)

The next event happened when Harry returned to the Gryffindor common room after seeing the Headmistress about the project. By this time he was weary and slightly depressed at how stupid he was to sign up for Muggles Studies instead of Divination or Runes, the first being where Ron went and the second to where Hermione went. He knew at the time that it was stupid to sign up for a new class in his seventh year, but he had figured that since he was raised by muggles (no matter how snobbish those muggles were) he would do fine. He had been right about knowing most of what was being taught, but if he had known about this project beforehand he would have thrown out his perfect scores for more creative ones in Divination. At least then he wouldn't have to leave his friends for a whole bloody semester.

Young Harry did not go to bed right away like he had wanted to, but instead was ushered to the fireplace by a worried Hermione. It was here that he told her and Ron, who had stopped playing exploding saps with Dean to listen in, of his troubles. It was also there that Ron had written a very worded letter to his mum to try and get her to talk McGonagall out of her support for this project on behalf of his best mate. The fiery redhead received a response from his mum two days latter in the form of a howler, explaining to him that she had taken this trip herself and highly approved of it. That was Ron's last and only try to help Harry, but no one could honestly blame him after thirty minutes of listening to Mrs. Weasley in the Great Hall during breakfast.

After that, the events get quite muddled. At some point in time Harry learned that Luna was to be going to Tokyo, Japan while Neville was going to Berlin, Germany, both places Harry found himself being jealous over, and therefore heavily avoided both of them. His only thought on that was how unfair it was that he got some small, hillbilly town in the middle of nowhere whereas Luna and Neville got exciting towns where they could explore to no end and find new things with each blink. About two weeks after this, Harry found the two of them in the library holding hands while they finished their Transfiguration homework. There he apologized profusely and swore to never to ignore them again and they accepted his apology with two heartfelt laughs, but only after making Harry promise to write them each once a week and update them on his happenings.

Some where before his apology to Luna and Neville, he apologized to Hermione for yelling at her after one of her lectures on how such an experience would benefit him. He ignored her for only two days before cracking, mostly because he needed potions help, but the point is that he came back to Hermione even though she didn't come back to him until a day after the Luna and Neville apology. There she explained that though her anger had resided the night after he exploded at her, she figured it would take her absence as well as his two other friends to make him realize how irrational he was being about the Muggle Studies trip. And he had grudgingly admitted that he had been irrational so with a hug and a round of butterbears for all, he came to accept that the trip was just as inevitable as death.

There is still one event left before the farewell feast for Harry's Muggles Studies class, and this is perhaps the oddest one to date. It was only three days before Harry was to leave and it happened while he was sending off a school owl for some last minute items for his stay in Forks, Washington. Draco Malfoy, Harry's long time rival and recent ally, came into the Owlery with a heavy sigh, clearly not expecting the green eyed boy to be up there as well. He even said so upon hearing Harry's own exclamation of shock.

"Well I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that this is the last time you'll be seeing me unexpectedly for a long while. Muggle Studies trip, I'm sure you've heard." Was what Harry had curtly told Draco, figuring that the blonde haired menace would be a good source to vent his frustration.

Draco, unknowingly to Harry, thought the same thing when he retorted, "Of course I have Potter. That's all anyone can talk about and I'm certainly not deaf."

To cut a long story short, what aspired up there underneath the nests of the many owls was the blossoming of a friendship no one would have ever guessed possible. It started with a small truce and went into the expected argument before both realized that they were living in a changed society, one where they could easily be friends without punishment from either the Dark or Light side. They knew that this friendship would be at the least a bit rocky, but they started it and now, even when old and gray, they remain friends where others have not.

So now to the final event before Harry left for the dreaded town of Forks; the farewell feast and the apparation to the muggle airport they were to meet their new family. The feast was quaint with only one speech from the Headmistress saying that she would see them all in a few months and another by the hated, at least by Harry, Muggles Studies teacher, who had nothing more to say than to repeat words said in class, mostly warnings.

It was what happened afterwards, in the Quidditch pitch under the warming rays of the afternoon sun that was to be remembered. It was like a ceremony, and yet casual enough to be passed for just another goodbye. There were banners of all colors and tears of all kinds as the students of Hogwarts watched fifteen young adults and one Harry Potter walk towards the apparation point in the center of the field. Each one of the fifteen students had their pockets full of their shrunken possessions and on their shoulder or in their hands their familiar. This of course excluded Harry Potter for even though he carried his possessions safely, his familiar Hedwig had died in the war against the Dark Lord and he had yet to buy another. It wasn't until his name was called for him to leave that Draco Malfoy ran across the field, carrying a bundle in his arms. This bundle, which Harry soon discovered to be a snake, was handed over to him in silence, for even the crowd in the stands was in as much of a shock as Harry.

"Why?" Harry had asked the blonde in front of him, confusion written all over. He held the snake tenderly, looking at its sleeping form in amazement at its beautiful black skin, tinted blue in the sun. It reminded him of the lake's water under the gleaming surface, where the seaweed swayed with the currents.

The response he was given was this, "So you don't forget." Harry spent much time after that thinking on the meaning of those four words, and it wasn't until many years later that Draco told him that it meant two things. One, so he never forgot the wizarding world and the wonders and horrors it brought, and two, so he never forgot Draco. He didn't know it then that Draco's only fear, as long as the blond could remember, was to be forgotten in the pages of history.

Harry only had time for a quick thank you before McGonagall hurried him to center field, where he apparated with a small wave in the general direction of where Hermione and Ron sat watching in farewell tears. What met his eyes next was a poster for a trip to Disney World with a giant mouse head grinning only inches from his emerald eyes. He would have panicked if a voice had not asked to see his regulation passport from behind him. After a few technicalities, he was assured that he hadn't messed up apparrating and was in fact in Washington, not Disney World (even though part of him wished he was because anything was better than Forks), and that his new family was waiting for him at gate A13. He had thought that number only proved what a bad idea this project was when he was told that, but come years later, he has grown fond of the number for one reason or another.

At gate A13 he met his two new family members, both of whom smiled energetically and welcomed him with hugs and an awkward kiss on the cheek from his new sister Bella.

At gate A13, exactly nine twenty one in the morning, he left the wizarding world.

And at that very gate and at that very moment in time, his life was sealed to the rainy clouds of Forks and with it, Edward Bloody Cullen.