Withdrawal

Summary: After 24 hours, the happy pills wear off.
Rating: K+
Spoilers: The 12-Step Job
Author's note: I woke up wanting to write this. This is possibly influenced by my (doctor-approved) weaning off of Zoloft, which is causing withdrawal for me…but not this bad. I'm also not sure what I think of this.
Disclaimer: Not mine! They belong to people more awesome than me.

They take Parker back to the office once they manage to get her in the car, just in case things go bad once the happy pills wear off. Hardison's done his research (always does his research) and found this to be a possibility. Withdrawal is not pretty (Nate is testament to that) and they don't want Parker to do it alone if they can help it (and they can). So they put her on the couch and grab some sleeping bags and pillows and Hardison's portable DVD player and settle in for the long haul (Eliot has to threaten Nate to make him stay. It doesn't work. Sophie threatens to take his alcohol. It works).

Parker is overly affectionate and giggly (it's the strangest thing they've ever seen Parker do, giggle, which is saying something). She hugs Sophie (who laughs), hugs Nate (who stands stiffly, uncomfortably until she finally relinquishes her hold; he takes to holding something in front of him at all times), hugs Eliot (especially when he's standing; she seems to enjoy being suspended off the ground. Something normal), hugs Hardison (the only one who's disappointed when the hug is over). They play charades and Pictionary to humor her, and her childlike excitement at winning has them letting her win over and over and over (art could have been an alternate calling. Nate looks askance at Sophie when she recognizes all the floor plans Parker draws as accurately as if she'd been looking at a picture).

And then the withdrawal starts. It's not immediately apparent (she's not having success at getting them to guess a drawing) until she throws the marker down in frustration and starts pacing and muttering angrily at them. Parker, says Sophie, don't you want to sit down? (She doesn't.) She paces and mutters and mutters and paces until her steps begin to falter and her eyes lose focus and she stumbles to the garbage can and throws up. She shoves Sophie away when the woman goes to rub her back, but can't push Eliot away when she's finished and he comes to carry her back to the couch (she's shaking too violently to have control over her own body). What can we do? asks Hardison, hands hovering over her face, afraid to comfort, afraid to hurt, and she moans and tells them all to go away (they feed her Advil instead, seeing the pain in her eyes that she would never voice).

But the worst part comes when she cries (and it's not just tears, it's true sobs that shake her whole body) and asks them why they don't want her to be happy. As they gather on the couch, her head in Hardison's lap and feet in Eliot's and Sophie on the ground stroking her hair and Nate watching uncomfortably from the doorway, they don't tell her. They don't tell her how Parker-as-Rose scared them more than anything else she's ever done, how she had that lost look when she automatically lifted the gun, how her smile and eyes were empty if cheerful, how she looked at Nate as if no one had ever touched her before, how her hugs were as full of desperation as they were full of affection, how she just wasn't Parker (she just wasn't Parker).

When she wakes up halfway through the next day (when they all wake up, after a night of throwing up and cold sweats and tremors and sobbing, Nate watching over them all), she pretends not to remember anything and they pretend they all fell asleep watching movies. Nate makes a breakfast (lunch) run while Sophie, Hardison, and Eliot clean up and Parker curls up in a ball on one side of the couch (she's still hurting. Her eyes are pained). She stiffly uncurls herself when Sophie comes to get her for lunch and they have to coax her to eat anything, drink anything (Hardison offers her one of his prized sodas. He slips her a mickey and she falls asleep with her head next to her plate). Eliot gently carries her to the couch and Sophie tucks her in. She's back to normal when she wakes up, awkwardly nodding to all of them as she heads home, glancing shiftily around as if she wants to make sure she still knows where all the exits are (they sigh in relief).

(What is normal for Parker is normal for no one else. That's how they like it.)