1They were in the Akatsuki meeting room. Which is to say, Deidara, Tobi, Sasori, Pein, Konan, Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi, Kisame, and Zetsu were all crammed into a walk-in closet.
Needless to say, there was much chaos.
"Kisame? You need to start working out more."
"That's...a coat hanger, Itachi."
"The great Uchiha Itachi is never wrong."
"But, Itachi–"
"He's fucking BLIND, fishface. If he wants to think that a coat hanger is his partner, then just fucking let him," Hidan said from his spot between Kakuzu and a glaringly pink wall.
Kakuzu rolled his eyes."Must you say "fuck" in every sentence?"
"FUCK YES!!!"
"Oh, and I suppose it's "Jashinist Nudity Day" as well," Kakuzu snapped back sarcastically.
Hidan looked truly grateful. "Fuck, I almost forgot. Fucking thanks for reminding me."
And with that, Hidan ripped off his clothes. To this day, it is unknown as to why or how the zealot was able to take all his clothes off in well under a second despite being squished between the wall and a man much larger than he was, but he somehow managed.
At that, all was quiet. One could probably toss a computer off a twenty mile high cliff and hear the crash as it hit the ground, if one so desired and had a computer and a twenty mile high cliff.
Pein was the first to speak.
"In–" He took out a dictionary. "–abrasion of Sasori coming back to life– No, wait that's not right..." He flipped through the dictionary for a minute or two. The others waited impatiently.
"Ah, here it is..." he muttered to himself, then cleared his throat. "In commemoration if Sasori coming back to life, we will be–"
"What the fuck is up with the dictionary? What are you, fucking retarded or something?" The interruption came from Hidan. Obviously.
Pein's eye twitched as he looked at Hidan. Then he abruptly looked away, wanting to prevent what innocence he had from being destroyed by the currently nudist immortal. "No, it's just that–"
"It isn't Leader-sama's fault! Tobi drugged Leader-sama!"
There was a pause as nine pairs of eyes turned incredulously towards the masked nin.
"...What?" Tobi asked blankly.
"Err, never mind, un," Deidara muttered. They all gave Tobi one last strange look before turning back to Pein.
"Yes, well," Pein said, now feeling a bit awkward. "As I was saying before, in commemoration of Sasori coming back to life, we will be going on a...um...on a..."
"Vacation," Konan supplied helpfully.
"Yeah. That."
There was a pause. Then...
"YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tobi screamed in Deidara's ear and flailed his arms about wildly, doing something reminiscent of a jumping jack.
"OW! SHUT UP, TOBI, UN!" Deidara roared, hands clamped over his ears.
"SORRY DEIDARA-SENPAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"IT BURNSSSSSSSSS!!!! AAAAAARRRRRRrrrrrggghhhh..." Deidara fell to the ground with a heavy-sounding thud, twitching and frothing at the mouth.
"NO, SENPAI, DON'T DIE ON MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" Tobi bawled, throwing his head down onto Deidara's chest and sobbing pathetically.
He then abruptly stood up and made a flying leap for Pein, cackling maniacally.
THUD.
And another one went down.
"..."
"Well, come on, let's get packed. We don't have all day, you know." It was Konan who broke the silence, seeing as Pein was currently unconscious, with Tobi bawling over how he had "killed" yet another one of his comrades.
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Five minutes later found various Akatsuki members packing their stuff for the trip.
"Itachi?"
"..."
"Itachi?"
"What, Kisame?"
"Is that...is that a thong?"
"Yes."
"...What are you doing with Konan's underwear?"
"No, this is not Konan's underwear, Kisame..."
"Wha–"
"Konan's underwear lacks hatred."
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Meanwhile, in Sasori and Deidara's room, a different kind of scenario was taking place...
"This? No, un. What about... No, too fluffy, un." Deidara threw the object behind his back.
You could practically see the dark aura radiating off Sasori as he became trapped under a growing pile of stuffed bunnies of all shapes and sizes.
"Ah, here we are, un! Hey, Sasori no danna, are you ready to g– Sasori, un?"
Sasori twitched, unconscious underneath a mountainous pile of fluff and fabric.
Stuffed animals can be quite heavy, if you can get enough of them.
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Pein looked at his checklist. "Okay, clothes, various necessities, pepper spray...looks like I have everything."
Konan blinked. "Pepper spray...?"
"FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
CRASH!
"..."
"...Pein-san? HOLY CRAP, I KILLED HIM!!!"
Konan sweatdropped as Madara freaked out over "killing" someone. Again. Pepper spray made a lot more sense now...
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"Hidan. Put your clothes on. NOW."
"BLASPHEMY!!!" Hidan cried, pointing his scythe at Kakuzu.
"...Just get your stuff and let's go."
"YEAH!!!"
Hidan: 1
Kakuzu: 0
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Zetsu stared forlornly at a small potted plant on his dresser.
"Now, remember, Johnny, there are fingers in the fridge if you get hungry. And don't hesitate to call if you need anything."
He turned back on the little plant and made his way towards the door, letting a single tear trickle down his cheek.
They all grow up so fast...
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AN: Next chapter is the car ride! Yeah... I'm just making this up as I go...
With that said, feel free to leave ideas in the reviews. I just might end up using them. Maybe not straight away, but eventually...
PS: Ideas for the car ride are greatly appreciated. Again, I may or may not use them, but my mind works in strange ways. In other words, even if I don't use them, they'd probably help me a lot with writing it.