"You Owe Me"

Disclaimer: I own Portia Parkinson-Zabini. And Rose's superglue charm. And the waiter who takes bribes. The rest? Nope.

A/N: Originally written for the HP Next Gen Ficafest on Live Journal. Includes cross-dressing-for-a-reason!Albus, scheming!Scorpius and tactless!Rose. Enjoy and review!

To say that Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy was angry would have been the biggest understatement of the year. He was so awfully angry that he would have been able to spit fire (had he been taking lessons from Podgy Portia Parkinson-Zabini who was extremely talented at it) right out from his mouth.

A few weeks ago, he had suddenly realised that he had — somehow, somewhere, sometime— fallen in extreme-like with best friend of nine years and counting.

Originally freaked out (he vaguely remembered walking into a lamp post and fainting in the middle of the street), he didn't have time to act accordingly to his feelings. Scorpius had decided that he should take time to observe the target of his affections properly, just to make sure that he wasn't going to make the biggest mistake of his life and end up destroying their friendship too.

He had began to realise the small smiles on her face when the sun rose, the contented look on her face after dinner, the way she twirled her hair rather femininely while she pondered over matters, the small smirks on her face whenever she bested Albus in a game of Wizard's Chess and etcetera.

Suffice to say, the more he observed, the more he realised that his decision was absolutely correct.

And so he made up his mind.

He had been planning to tell her about his intentions to court her today when she came back to their co-owned apartment (she had moved in right after he and Albus had unlocked the door and immediately claimed the biggest room, how very sneaky of her…) announcing that she had a date the following weekend with the bumbling, babbling, balding buffoon.

Alright, alright…Lorcan "the-nerd-who-owned-more-books-than-he-had-hairs-on-his-head" Scamander!

Fortunately for him, Scorpius was tactful enough to keep his own thoughts to himself, unlike Al, who earned himself a blue skin and clashing pink hair for the next three hours.

Although Lorcan Scamander was no competition for Scorpius, he was still angry. Who was Lorcan Scamander to think that he had a chance with Rose Weasley? Deluded, that boy was! And Scorpius would show him.

What he needed was a plan.

And being Scorpius Malfoy, "Mastermind-of-all-awesome-plans" was practically his middle name.

Right after "Devilishly-handsome", "Brilliantly-amazing" and of course, Hyperion, that is.

"Al, do you remember when we first met in Hogwarts?" Scorpius asked conversationally while flipping casually through the Daily Prophet.

"Yeah, why?" Al was currently lounging on the couch, while feasting on a tuna sandwich.

"Do you remember us swearing to be the best of friends and to help each other out whenever we need it and that if we don't we would be struck down by lightning or hit by the most horrible curse in the Wizarding World?"

"Well, yes," Al said with a laugh, "We were quite silly those days, weren't we?"

Scorpius frowned behind the Daily Prophet. Plan A had failed. Luckily for him, he had a backup plan.

"Then do you remember that sentence you would always say whenever I got you out of detention or finished your Potions homework or transfiguring presents for your girlfriends or any other stuff like that?"

"Is there a reason for all these?" Al raised an eyebrow.

"Just answer 'yes' or 'no'. Please Al." Scorpius countered his raised eyebrows with a smirk.

"Yes," came the exasperated reply.

"You always used 'I owe you'. For every time you said that, you owed me one favour. I am calling in 758 favours you owe me, Al." Scorpius had finally put down his copy of the Daily Prophet calmly and looked right at Al.

Al resembled a fish with his mouth opening and closing, Scorpius found.

"You…counted?" Al was surprised. He knew that Scorpius had always been very well organised, but…

"Never know when I would need it, so why not just keep check?" Scorpius pulled out a rather tattered looking book and passed it to Al. "There you go. Every time you said 'I owe you' I would make a note in the book. It's almost full."

Al flipped through the book, the shocked look on his face slowly fading away into amusement, "All these favours in exchange for one thing?"

Scorpius nodded and replied, "No strings attached. 758 favours collected throughout nine years for one small thing in return."

"You make an irresistible offer, Mr. Malfoy. What is it?"

"Well, Mr. Potter," he said with as much emphasis, "I need you to come out with me, under a disguise while we protect Rose and that Scamander bloke," Scorpius ran his fingers through his hair and started detailing his plan out to Al whose face was getting whiter and whiter by the moment.

At the end of the briefing, Al was rendered speechless, "You have got to be kidding me."

"I can assure you that I kid you not."

"Is it too late to pull out?" Al let a pained look slip onto his face.

Scorpius grinned, "Too late, Al, too late…"

"Well then, Scorp, you have a deal. But after this, you're going to owe me."

"I don't see why we can't just use Glamour Charms!" Al complained as Scorpius "artfully" splattered some pink coloured blush on his face. So far, Al had blue contacts shoved into his eyes, had Scorpius drawing stuff on his face with a weird pencil and painted his lips a weird shade of red.

"It's Rose we're following! If she spots someone suspicious, she'll be using a glamour dispelling charm faster than we can scream for help. And you know the consequences of getting Rose angry," Scorpius shot back at him while putting a grey wig on his head.

"Even so, why in the name of all that is good and holy am I the one that has to dress as a woman?" Al's scowl did nothing to stop the growing grin on Scorpius' face.

"Because I'm taller, better looking and damned good, if I may say so, at the art of manipulation."

"Then I suppose that the fact that you're bloody poncy isn't sufficient to convince you to dress up like a bloody woman, does it?" Al said while blowing a strand of the long, greying hair away from his face.

"Well," Scorpius shrugged, "not really. And besides, whether or not I'm poncy is quite up for debate. I believe your mother doesn't think I'm poncy."

Al snorted. "She only tolerates you and feeds to your ego because it makes her happy when you bring her flowers."

"At least I'm gentlemanly enough to bring her flowers whenever I go to your parent's house. Unlike you. You always go empty handed. It's embarrassing to go anywhere with you." Scorpius sounded rather distracted. It was actually because he was trying to tie up Al's newly found long hair. "Even Rose thinks so."

"Rose doesn't count. She always takes your side."

"Because she likes me better than you, which also brings us back to our original topic, because Rose doesn't think I'm poncy." A smug smile now resided his face.

"I really don't know what she sees in you…" Al shook his head. "And ouch, that hurts!"

"If you stop shaking your head, I'd be able to finish much faster. Now shut up and look straight. Don't move so much."

Another few tugs, pokes, and pulls later, Albus Severus Potter had officially become Alyson Malferson.

"No, no, no, no, no. I refuse to go out like this. I simply refuse. You can't make me!" Al was shaking his head profusely all the while backing away from Scorpius with his hands up in the air as a sign of surrender.

"Al. You owe me. You promised."

"Scorp, I look like a woman who bloody fell into a pit full of thick makeup, my hair, no the bloody wig on my hair is filled with friggin' flowers, I'm wearing a stupid pink dress with hearts on it and I am absolutely not going out like this." Al raised his hand to rake through his hair habitually but dropped it in disgust as he remembered the wig on his head. "I'm supposed to be disguised as an old, aging woman, for Godric's sake!"

"We've got to blend in w-" Scorpius started, looking slightly sheepish.

"Blend in? Blend in? You call this 'blending in'? What is wrong with you?" Al exclaimed, obviously angered.

"Well…"

"If I'm going to have to look like an old woman, I'm going to look like the best looking old woman out there. Not some obvious transvestite. If you have to disguise me, we're going to do this my way." Al had started pacing the room.

"Now who's sounding like a ponce?" Scorpius asked.

"I do not sound like a ponce. I just don't want anyone to recognise me and end up as the laughing stock of the whole Wizarding community forever. My dad will kill me, my mum would have a heart attack, Lily will faint and most importantly, James will never let me forget it," Al stopped pacing at the realisation of the consequences he would face if he were caught and stared at Scorpius wide eyed. "Why the hell did I let you convince me into doing this again?"

"You owe me," Scorpius forced out while chuckling.

A look of horror set on Al's face, "If James catches us doing this, I'll be ruined! All the more I can't have you doing my makeup and hair!"

"But we have to blend in, remember Al, blend in," Scorpius relented with a sigh.

Al snorted. Now that his anger and fear was slowly seeping away, he felt the amusement of the whole situation. "Anything I do would be better than this, you have to admit."

Albus and Scorpius were hiding in the latter's room, due to both their disguises. Scorpius had been repeating their roles and places over and over again, much to the dismay and annoyance of Al.

"-and if he tries to touch her or kiss her or anything intimate-" Scorpius was saying, but was quickly cut off by Al.

"We lung at him and hex the shit out of him, I know, Scorp," Al rolled his eyes.

"Well, it's good to be clear. And if he tries to kidnap her-"

"He won't. You're being paranoid and crazy and annoying," Al tried to flip through a Quidditch magazine but it was snatched out of his hands.

"If, Al, if! If he really does do it, we need to be prepared!" Scorpius was waving the magazine around like his life depended on it.

"Alright. I give up. If Lorcan does try to kidnap Rose, we will use the Avada on him before we cut his body up into a gazillion pieces and then we'll feed him to Lily's mutt. And then when it's all done, you and I can go to Azkaban and celebrate in there with a bottle of champagne!"

"…well, it's not what I originally thought of, but I like how you think. Maybe we need a change of plans?" Scorpius was starring out of the window thoughtfully.

Al buried his face into a pillow and screamed.

"Al! Scorp! I'm going out already!" Rose called out right at that moment.

"Al, we'll stick to the original plan. We've got no time for new ones," Scorpius whispered to Al before turning to the door and shouting, "Gotcha, Rose! Have fun with Lorcan!"

He heard the rattling of his doorknob, signalling that Rose was trying to open it, "Scorp, why is your door locked and where is Al?"

"Umm… It's a little inconvenient for you to come in now, Rose, and Al is with me. Right Al?" Scorpius elbowed Al and motioned for him to say something.

"Yeah, Rose. Goodbye and have fun!" Al grunted out, slightly sarcastic.

Scorpius glared at him but otherwise remained silent.

"Well, okay. I'm out now. You guys have fun doing…whatever it is you're doing inside too." Scorpius could hear the confusion inside her voice and hoped to Merlin that she wouldn't think to "Alohamora" the door.

He let out a sigh of relief as he heard the door slam shut outside.

Then he turned to give Albus a maniacal grin, "Al, come on now, let's make this work."

Al's scream of torment of unmistakeable to Rose as she stepped inside the elevator, still confused.

She decided to just let them be. Al was most probably just being dramatic.

"Do you see them?" Scorpius asked from behind a copy of the Daily Prophet, while casually (well, as casually as a 70 year old man could) leaning on the nearest wall.

Al glared at him, "Of course, you dimwit."

Scorpius elbowed him in the ribs, "Alyson dear, your voice needs to be a tad bit higher."

"Oh, Simon, love, you are going to be in so much trouble once we're out of public eye," Al said in his sickly sweet, yet high-pitched voice, "I will castrate you, and then I'll have you hanged, quartered and drawn."

"And here we thought all old grannies were supposed to be nice and sweet," Scorpius muttered while searching the crowd for Rose and Lorcan.

"You know," Al started conversationally, while flipping his (fake) hair away and crossing his hands across his (fake) bosom, "I never really asked, but why in the name of all that is good and holy are we doing this?"

Scorpius started looking around, trying to avoid answering Al's question, "Doing what?"

"This. Dressing up like a bunch of weirdoes and spying on Rose on her date. Why are we doing this?" Al raised his eyebrows and gave Scorpius his much perfected "you-know-you-want-to-tell-me" look.

Scorpius gave him a dejected look that was paired up with a sigh, "Would it work if I asked you to keep out of it?"

"Not really."

"Well, keep out of it anyway," Scorpius shook his head in amusement.

"You like Rose, don't you?" Al asked accusingly while glaring at Scorpius.

Scorpius didn't reply.

"You actually do like her!" Al was saying, but Scorpius cut him off.

"I never said I did!"

"You don't need to. It was all in your eyes," Al's glare softened and his lips twitched up slightly, "You do understand that you have to treat her well, don't you?"

At Scorpius' nod, Al continued, "And, of course, I would appreciate it if you would try to block out some inappropriate noises from the bedroom, should the both of you ever get together, because honestly, I don't want to picture you and my cousin doing the deed together."

Scorpius grinned, "You wanker."

"You ponce," Al returned, and for a moment, he just stood there silently assessing his best friend. In the end, he nodded and grinned, "You'll be together, I'd bet my last sickle on it."

Scorpius laughed, but it was cut short when he glanced behind Al to notice that Rose and Lorcan were walking into a classy restaurant together, hand in hand, "Al, let's go get us some dinner."

"Good evening sir, madam, but I'm afraid it's a full house tonight unless you've made prior reservations," a smartly dressed waiter informed Scorpius and Al at their arrival.

Scorpius frowned and reached into his pockets to reach for a bag filled with a large amount of galleons. At Al's annoyed look (for he had been looking forward to calling it a day), he passed it inconspicuously to the waiter, "You'll find our reservations under Mr. and Mrs. Malferson."

The waiter pocketed the money and looked into his log book, "Ah, yes, of course!"

"And waiter, we would like to request a table near the couple that just came in, if you don't mind," Scorpius added.

The waiter licked his lips and looked indecisive. Al rolled his eyes, "I'm Auror Albus Potter, Harry Potter's son. We're here on a mission. We need a table where we can observe the couple that just came in."

"Ah," the waiter said after an awkward cough, "We do have a table near them that has just been cleared. If you'll follow me…"

Scorpius elbowed Al in the ribs again, "You could have done that earlier."

Al grinned, "Serves you right for not joining me in Auror training."

Scorpius rolled his eyes as they were seated. "Can you hear them speaking?"

Al couldn't.

But he nodded anyway, thinking that if he could get Scorpius to blow his cover, they would be able to return home earlier. Never mind how embarrassing it was to be seen or recognised out here, but now he had a plausible excuse: he was on a mission.

"Well, he's just telling her how beautiful she looks. Oh, she's blushing now! How absolutely cute of them! Hey, wait, now he's asking her to be his girlfriend. She's saying that she'll tell him after dinner. She's smirking. He seems pretty confident she'll say yes and she sounds like she likes him too."

"What?"

"Uh huh," Al nodded, "And now he's asking her if she'll go to his apartment after dinner for some…dessert. Ooh la la…Lorcan Scamander's got balls, Scorp!"

"Oh, I will rip him into shreds!" Furious, Scorpius stood up and walked towards them. Midway there, he turned back to pull Al with him, "Play along, won't you, Alyson?"

Al let out a groan.

Scorpius let out a cough catch Lorcan and Rose's attentions when they arrived at their table, "My wife and I overheard your conversation and we both think that you sir, are absolutely disgusting. Lady, you would be better off with someone else. Someone who knows how to treat you well. Like your best friend or something."

And with a huff, Scorpius dragged an embarrassed Al away with him.

After they left, Lorcan looked towards Rose and said, "What's wrong with talking about Herbology during dinner?"

Rose shrugged, her eyebrows still furrowed, "Do you find the old couple just now familiar?"

Lorcan nodded, "You noticed, too? I thought the woman looked like…no. I mean, that can't be—"

"Al," Rose finished, looking confused. Suddenly, she gasped, eyes wide open. "Which means that the man speaking just now was—"

"Malfoy!" Lorcan exclaimed.

Rose looked toward the closed restaurant doors. "Oh, they are going to be in so much trouble."

"Do you think she realised that it was us?" Al asked nervously as he quickly wiped the makeup off his face after they had apparated back to their co-owned apartment.

Al didn't want to suffer the wrath of Rose. Not twice a week. That was horribly unlucky.

But Scorpius wasn't listening to Al at all. He was still angered by the fact that Lorcan had dared to make a blatant pass at Rose, "The nerve of that idiot. I simply cannot think of how he duped Rose into going out with him. I mean that guy's going bald! And how dare he plan to take advantage of her by asking her to go to his apartment!"

"Umm… Actually, about that—" Al stopped rubbing the makeup off his face for a moment, trying to confess to Scorpius.

But Scorpius didn't let him finish, "I knew I should have bludgeoned him to death during fourth year. How the hell did he land up in the Ravenclaw Quidditch team anyway?"

"You tried," Al reminded him, momentarily forgetting about his confession, "Throughout the year, you tried to get your beaters to aim the Bludgers at him."

"Well, quite true. But still! I can't believe Rose actually went on a date with him. He must have Imperio'd her! Al, you've got to get some Aurors to throw him into Azkaban!" Scorpius exclaimed, suddenly looking gleeful at the prospect of a world without Lorcan Scamander.

Al rolled his eyes and tried to tug his wig off, "Scorp, I can't get this wig off my hair."

"Well, I used Rose's super glue charm on it."

"Scorpius?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you know that there's no countercharm to it?"

"Well, yes."

"I WILL KILL YOU!" and then Al lunged for him.

Rose came back to her co-owned apartment to see Al running around the apartment sans-wand, chasing Scorpius.

She blinked.

Al was wearing the same wig she saw on the old woman earlier on in the restaurant, which just proved her suspicions that Al and Scorp were indeed following her around on her date.

Now, the question was…

Should she stop the fight so that she could kill both of them?

Or should she wait for Al to kill Scorp before she killed Al?

Hmm… Both ideas were tempting. She let out a sigh and shouted across the room to the two men that were oblivious to her presence, "Does anyone want to tell me what this is all about?"

Both men froze in their steps and turned to her, each screaming their own explanations.

"Rose! Al is trying to kill me!" Scorpius ducked behind Rose as Al threw a book at him, "And everything he's about to spew out from his mouth is false!"

"Rosie, don't believe that ponce! He super glued a wig on my head! Tell him he deserves to die!" Al's face was red with anger.

"Come on, boys. Let's sit down and discuss this like adults," Rose temporarily forgot about her plan to kill the two and instead sat them down on the sofa. "Alright, let me see if I got this right. Al, you're trying to kill Scorpius because he super glued a wig on your hair. Scorp, you are hiding from Al, who is trying to kill you and everything that comes out from his mouth is false."

Both men nodded.

Al thought it was time to state his case, "Rose, look at this!" he pointed to the (now messy) wig on his hair, "He super glued it with your charm on my hair! My oh-so-lovely hair!"

Scorpius didn't speak, instead choosing to sulk at Al, "I forgot!"

"You forgot? You forgot that the super gluing charm that Rose invented was irreversible? You are a ponce and an idiot and a bloody useless liar!" Al screamed.

"Hey, you owed me!"

"When I said I'd repay your favours, I didn't mean sacrificing my hair! How in the name of Voldemort am I supposed to face the world like this?"

Rose rolled her eyes at Al's dramatic tendencies and suppressed a grin.

"The world knows you're a cross dresser anyway…" Scorpius muttered under his breath. Rose heard him and chuckled.

Al practically growled at them, "Oh yes, take his side! You always take his side! Even when I'm your cousin and he's in the wrong! Even when my hair is destroyed by that…that Slytherin!"

"Hey!" Rose protested. Scorpius just looked smug.

"Oh, you two just wait till I tell Grandma. She'll help me."

Rose coughed and sat up straight, "Alright, let's see. Scorp, you super glued a wig on his hair. Al, you're furious and you want to kill Scorp."

"Damn straight I want to kill him."

Rose grinned, "…which leaves us to why you agreed to have a wig stuck on your head in the first place and why the both of you were following Lorcan and I all around."

Scorpius blanched. Al barely suppressed his evil grin.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Scorpius shouted quickly.

Al cackled maliciously, "Rose, I'll tell you."

"NO! DON'T! We had a deal!"

"That was officially broken when you super glued a wig on my hair," Al said calmly, "Now, where shall we start? Hmm… I believe that we should stupefy Scorp first. And then he can sit through the whole thing."

"Al! I thought we were best friends!" Scorpius wailed.

"Precisely why I'm being so nice. If it were anyone else, they'd be dead by now. Stupefy!"

Personally, Scorpius thought that it would be much easier (and not to mention less humiliating) to just drop dead.

"-and that, dear cousin, is how you found us, running around in circles in the apartment. Suffice to say, Scorp is madly in love with you and that he's a crazy idiot to think that such a stupid plan would work." Al finished his (highly exaggerated) recount of what had happened throughout the past few days.

Rose gaped.

Al smirked.

Scorpius sat in his full body bind, still unable to move.

"…Al?" Rose whispered, still in shock.

"Yes?" Al looked cheerful, sounded cheerful and felt more cheerful than he had been just a few minutes ago. Rose was going to kill Scorpius now and revenge his hair!

"Are you positive that it's true?"

"I'd swear it on Grandma Molly."

Rose gaped some more for a while before asking Al, "Could you un-stupefy him and leave us alone for a while?"

"Of course!" he said and un-stupefied Scorpius before walking into his room, humming a merry Christmas song.

Scorpius sat up awkwardly, avoiding Rose's gaze.

For a long time, Rose just sat there silently, looking at Scorpius and then…

"Since when?" she asked.

Scorpius closed his eyes and did some mental calculations, "Three weeks, four days, eighteen hours, twenty-seven minutes, some seconds and counting."

An amused grin crept up Rose's face, "You were always the most organized one of us all…"

"Actually, Rose, I've think that I've been having a thing for you since sixth year. You remember that time you posed as my girlfriend to get Portia off my back? I think that's when the attraction started. I just never noticed it until about three weeks ago. I really do like you a lot, Rose. So what do you say we give it a go? We try it out for a while and if it doesn't work, we can go back to being best friends. What say you?"

Rose bit her lip, "Wow."

"Wow?"

"Yeah," Rose sank down onto the sofa, "I never guessed that you'd feel this way for me. You're a great guy Scorp, and I'm flattered. I-"

"I get it, Rose. You don't feel the same way," Scorpius interrupted her mid-speech, "Merlin, Rose…does the phrase 'let him down easily' exist in your Let's Dump the Guy manual? I really do like you, Rose, a lot. And since we've been best friends for such a long time, I'd have expected that you'd…I don't know, be nicer about it? It hurts, you know? Being rejected by the very person you've just bared your soul to-"

Rose snorted, "That was hardly 'baring your soul', Scorp. Al did all the talking."

"Even then! Can't you see that I've been trying to be nicer to you? Can't you see that I'm actually trying to make this work?" Scorpius started pacing in front of her.

Rose blinked and shook her head.

"Merlin," Scorpius sighed, "you really don't have much tact, do you? I suppose it comes with being a Slytherin."

"You were one, too," she pointed out, offended.

"Yeah, but being straightforward doesn't really work with Al. He's too dramatic. Tact was practically being infused in me," Scorpius sat down next to her, smiling slightly.

Rose leaned her head on his shoulders habitually. Scorpius sighed and put his arm around her.

"Well, you said it yourself, Scorp, I don't have much tact. So I'm going to tell you now that-"

Scorpius cut her off, yet again, "Rose, I get the idea! You don't have to keep reinforcing your words. We'll stay as best friends, nothing more nothing less."

Rose glowered, "Do not interrupt me again, Scorp. You have no idea how hard it is trying to talk to you. Al has obviously rubbed off on you. You're turning into a drama queen."

She pulled away from him for a moment and looked right into his eyes, "What I'm trying to say is that I bloody like you too and that you didn't have to do all those things. You could have just told me."

"How was I to know?" Scorpius exclaimed, having still not grabbed the importance of her words, "You never mentioned a thing!"

Rose remained silent.

Than Scorpius gasped, "Wait… You…you like me too? I…you…how?" he resigned.

Rose shrugged, "I don't know. I just…know I do."

"Not very reassuring, don't you think?"

Rose smirked, "Could have been worse."

Scorpius nodded sagely. Rose gave him a small smile.

"Now that we're past all the pleasantries," Scorpius asked, a mischievous grin on his face, "can I kiss you now?"

Al was still dreaming up of ways Rose would kill Scorpius (personally, he wanted Rose to castrate the ponce first) when Rose and Scorpius Alohamora'ed their way into his room, hand in hand, paired with a goofy grin on their faces.

Al was firstly surprised (that Scorp didn't die), then angry (that Scorp didn't die) and finally happy (not because Scorp didn't die, you idiot, because Rose and Scorp were together now!).

He thought back on the day. Dressing up as a woman, getting a wig stuck on his head, having to follow Scorpius all around like a puppy, having a waiter think that he was a transvestite and etcetera. All of that was strangely…

Worth it.

"You owe me, Scorp, you owe me so much."

"I know. And I'm going to pay it back to you," Scorpius grinned, "somehow. But for now, you'll just have to settle with a 'thank you' and the promise that Rose and I will always use a silencing spell."

"Scorp!" Rose exclaimed, looking scandalised.

Al grinned. This day wasn't so bad after all.