So…did you miss me? I thought I would ask. It has certainly been quite awhile. Anyway, without any further adieu, on to the story.

Charlie and his family had, over the years, developed a close bond with their talented friend, William Wonka. They had dinner together, they would watch movies together and at one point in their relationship, William had built an astronomy room, complete with a glass domed roof so that the family could look at the stars without going out in the cold.

However, there was one thing that was odd in their friendship. Though William had called all the Buckets by their first names, the family never reciprocated this act. So despite their affections, whenever the words "Mr. Wonka." Would slip from their lips, it brought their conversations from cheerful and happy to odd and businesslike.

On this day, the heir to the whole chocolate empire, Charlie Bucket, said that this should not go on any longer and that since he was a friend, they should acknowledge the chocolatier by his first name. However, Charlie had no idea of the thoughts of adults and how they acted sometimes in social conversations. All of them politely told Charlie that all friendship aside, he was not family and therefore should be addressed in a more formal matter.

Charlie would not let this bring him down. It was then that a brilliant idea came to him. Five minutes later, he came downstairs, a pad of sticky notes in his hands and several silver markers.

"Instead of Mr. Wonka I want you all to call him by his first name. Obviously, this isn't going to happen so I propose this. We will create a good nickname to call him that is comfortable for the whole family. I thought we could make this into a "name tag" game, so I've written "Hi, my name is" five times on your stickers. We will vote on the best one, and then use that name. So…"

Charlie marched around the room, handing pieces of paper and a silver pen to each of his family members. This was met with rather odd looks from all. It was not like Charlie to be such a take charge kind of person. Regardless, the whole family spent about half an hour contemplating nicknames for the chocolatier, at some point having expressions on their faces befitting of someone taking a difficult test. Everyone except for Grandma Georgina, who had five names on her page after five minutes. She was now happily munching on a banana.

"What did you get for question four?" Mr. Bucket whispered to his wife.

"Dad, it's not a test!" Charlie said.

"Oh, right. Sorry."

Mr. Bucket than returned to his sticker and began tapping his pen on it for several minutes before writing something down.

"Now, we're going to judge on…" Charlie began, after he had gathered up the paper and pens. His words were interrupted by the door opening.

"Mr. Wonk-, I mean…Sir Pinkie." Mrs. Bucket said.

"Sir what?" William asked, quickly turning to Charlie.

"We're making nicknames for you since my family doesn't want to call you by your first name." said Charlie, handing him the papers.

William took the papers but cast a wary look at the group before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pair of small, purple framed reading glasses.

"I thought you had contacts." Charlie said.

"They got all dry."

"Well, I think those glasses make you look distinguished and blue eyes are very beautiful you know." said Mrs. Bucket.

"Thank you, but I always liked the colour of Elizabeth Taylor's eyes."

William then read the pieces of paper aloud.

"Mrs. Bucket's Possible Nicknames. Sir Pinkie, and we will talk about this name later. Sir Squishy, I like that one. Remember Dory? I loved that character. Mr. Magenta. That actually sounds cool. Captain Bluebird…don't know where that comes from. Dewdrop…Really?"

"Uh, Charlie? Yeah, I'm not so sure on these pet names."

"Please just read the rest. Please."

"Fine. Let's see. Grandma Georgina. Peanut. Peanut Butter. Jam. Mr. Pea Bee and Jay. Dragonfly. Uh, Georgina, are hungry for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"

"No sir. I would like some tacos."

"Ok. Mr. Bucket. Mr. I Don't Care. Mr. Should wear his hat all the time because it draws the eyes away from that haircut of yours…."

"No, that's a bit too long." said Mrs. Bucket.

"Moving on. Mr. Smells like chocolate all the time. Mr. Doesn't he wear any other suit? Mr. Oh forget it, this nickname thing isn't working."

"Mr. I Don't Care was good." Charlie said.

"I care! I really care. I think I…"

"Moving on. Grandpa Joe. Mr. Super Fantastic Awesome. Mr. Super. Mr. Fantastic. Mr. Awesome. Mr. W. Well, thank you for the compliment."

"Grandma Josephine. Mr. Might need a girlfriend. Mr. Seriously, you need a girlfriend. Mr. How about a blind date? Mr. I think you should go on one. Mr. Please find a girl."

"You should go on a blind date." Mrs. Bucket said.

"No." William said, and started to read the last piece of paper.

"Grandpa George's List says. Mr. Chocolatte. Mr. Wonky. Mr. Oddity. Mr. Oddball. Mr. Strange but Interesting."

"You know. Why don't you just call me Mr. Wonka."

There was a pause.

"Good idea."

"Brilliant."

"Didn't think about that."

"Yeah, neither did I."

"Kind of rolls off the tongue."

"Why didn't we think of that before?"

Charlie put his head in his hands.