Title: Déjà vu.
Author: Saku
Pairing: Ritsu/Ritsuka
Fandom: Loveless
Theme: 4. our distance and that person
Rating: G- slight language but nothing big…
Disclaimer: I don't own it nor do I imply that I do. I am only borrowing the Loveless characters and world for my fun, only to return them once I have had my fill of them. (Though they may be slightly more wrinkled/torn/disturbed/or whatever else then when I took them.)
Warning: Just look at the pairing- shouta based pairing (yet I have a feeling this doesn't bother you since the whole series has shouta all over it)
A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay (thank God there was no Dec 1st purge or I woulda lost this pairing), my laptop died so for almost a month I had no way to write (I almost went crazy from it lol). So anyways let's continue…

My muse went and changed the entire plot here, so this is gonna take a lil more planning, but I will keep this going!

x-x-x-

Would you like to come and see the real Hell?

You'd be amazed at just how wonderful it is.

How many of those you know are here…

The bus ride had been a long one, especially with two adults acting like young children. Ritsuka had been close to kicking Soubi off the bus, refusing to let his fighter continue on this stupid journey that he had foolishly taken part of. And if he could have, Ritsu would have gotten the boot too; except his letter seemed to give a meeting place.

And he would have too, if he could have figured out how to convince the bus driver that despite the fact that- yes, the two were silent and yes they were sitting forward, and of course acting like model citizens (albeit robot-like) that they were actually having some of the largest temper tantrums ever. Soubi especially. But somehow that argument died on the tip of his tongue, if nothing else he would have been the one to seem childish.

So instead the black haired boy sighed as he sat back, his legs swinging slightly as he tried to ignore the two on each side of him. Besides maybe Ritsu was a normally quiet individual, the boy had no past knowledge to compare to really. This could have been his true personality, though that thought unnerved him slightly. No one should ever be this still, especially as the trip rounded its second hour.

So far with all of the times he had seen the tall blond man, he had been a cool and collected person. But to be like a statue, except for the slow, deep breaths that the man took, was unnerving.

A dark part of him wondered if he would have changed his personality if he had injury done to him. Or would he remain as he was now; how would he react if his eye was poked out, if he was slashed, his neck cut open. Gasping, the boy shook his head, refusing to indulge himself in such morbid thoughts. He had to remain himself, whatever that really was. He was going to see his brother! He had to stay focused.

'Or how he would even react to a kiss.'

Ritsu had kissed his hair at the café and now Ritsuka could only wonder how the other man would react to a true kiss. Soubi's reactions were always filled with a love that the boy could not place; his eyes, as they pulled away, would always be filled with a tender love but still look so far away. But, Ritsuka wondered as he stared at the man's lips, how would Ritsu act?

Gasping the boy shook his head trying to ignore the direction his thoughts were taking. A light blush covered his cheeks as he turned away facing forward, praying that no one- including the two he was traveling with- noticed how the boy had been staring.

Settling between the two frozen men, Ritsuka sighed as dark eyes watched the scenery change yet again. He had watched from the window as the city disappeared in the distance; only quickly to be changed for a long, winding, mountainous road, a beautiful view of a beach behind him. And now he watched as the rocks and ocean were changed once again for the soothing view of a forest.

Eyes watched as small clusters of trees, too many kinds for him to easily name, flooded into view. Though the trees were not too thick near the roadway, most had been thinned out long ago, Ritsuka could tell that it was a thick forest that lied not too far away.

He had tried to ask Ritsu just where he was going. Just where was this supposed meeting place. And just what the hell was going to happen when they got there. Would they talk? Fight? Eat? What? The unknowing was worse then actually watching a gore fest before his eyes.

The blond had sighed, a sound that made Soubi bristle for a second before calming, as he pushed his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose with a finger. "I know nothing more then you," had been the generic answer that he gave with each question Ritsuka asked.

The boy was almost ready to ask what his name was, or what color the sky was, or even 'Ritsu, what is your favorite food,' just to get a different answer. Yet he kept the smart remarks to himself. Nothing would have been gained in acting like a bratty child that wanted to know when he could eat that newly bought cookie.

After almost three hours, three torturously long silent hours later, the bus pulled over in a small stop, one of few that this bus took. Soubi and Ritsuka had followed Ritsu's silent movements, as he stood and walked down the hallway to the door before stepping down the small stairs.

Now that the bus had pulled away, the boy could get a feel for the place that they had stopped at. Amethyst eyes took in the local area, the boy's mouth falling open as recognition took over him. He remembered this place. Or that was what it felt like to him.

Searing pain ricocheted across his temples, darting behind his eyes before moving to his brainstem. Iron fists clamped down on each place holding it tightly refusing to let go. Moaning as he was assaulted with the strange pain, Ritsuka knelt on the ground, fingers tangling tightly in his hair. Tugging the strands tightly the boy clenched his eyes shut tightly moaning as the pain doubled in force.

Why did he remember this place? Without looking Ritsuka knew there was a café behind them, to the left. A small, quaint place that sold amazingly wonderful cuisine.

Behind his lids Ritsuka watched, with his mind's eye, as he and Seimei stood at the same bus stop. He could remember the trees, the feel. Even the breeze was similar.

The young Ritsuka held his brother's leg, fingers wrapping around the back of Seimei's knee, as he stared at the forest before him. He had never seen this many trees in his life. If only his parents could have seen it too. But his older brother had told him they were going on a secret trip, one that no one else could ever know about.

Ritsuka doubled over, his knees digging into the dirty ground below him. Fingers tugged at his hair, refusing to let go. Even as cool, gentle fingers began the tedious work of untangling them.

"Seimei," Ritsuka broke his stare at the trees to watch his brother's amused face. He rarely saw Seimei this happy. "Where are we going? Please tell me!" He was too excited to wait, just like a child given a new shiny toy. Ritsuka could not deal with how his brother dangled the toy before him, refusing to give it up.

"We're going to have fun today."

He could hear Soubi's calm voice calling out, asking him what was wrong and telling him it was alright. Sweet nothings flowed in the air, as he half listened, still unable to break himself free from the iron strong grasp.

Kneeling behind his brother, Seimei pulled Ritsuka into a hug, one hand splayed awkwardly across the boy's barely clad chest, the shirt he was wearing was too thin, while the other rested across the boy's thighs. Seimei's hugs always were awkward, always feeling as if the boy never knew just how to hug correctly.

"You said that last night when we jumped out of the bedroom window. Can you tell me, please!"

Laying his head against the sturdy shoulder, the small boy turned his head towards his brother's neck, breathing in the scent that was Seimei's. No words could ever describe it correctly. It was just…Seimei…nothing else. Just like how his mother smelt like her. It was something that would never leave his memories, even when he was old and gray.

"Alright, but only if you promise to behave. I need you to stand beside me and just watch…"

Ritsuka nodded eagerly.

"Alright we're going to…"

A chocked scream fell from the boy's paling lips as he shot up, eyes wide. Suddenly, as if seeing the scenery around him for the first time, Ritsuka let his hands drop, a couple long strands of black hair still tangled around his fingers. Blinking, almost owlishly, the boy looked around, focusing in on the forest across the road.

Seimei had never looked away from there, why? What was so important there?

Shakily he stood, barely seeing how Ritsu and Soubi backed away from the stunned boy, mud caked to his jeans as he carefully took a step back.

'Yes, right about here,' Ritsuka thought as he looked around again, his vision tunneling to focus on just the forest ahead. What was so important over there. Ritsuka could not draw his memories back again.

"Right here," he spoke slowly, more to himself then to the other two men who were watching worriedly. "Seimei was standing right here when he fell to his knees."

Ritsuka followed suit, bringing his arms around as if he were hugging a small boy, one around the boy's chest while the other on his knees. As quickly as he brought them up, the dark haired boy dropped them, it felt weird- awkward even- to hug thin air. Instead he focused again on the surrounding area.

Ritsu followed the boy's gaze silently. As soon as Ritsuka fell to the ground both men had forgotten about everything else as they worried over the boy. Was this trip truly going to be too hard for him? Should they turn back?

Ritsuka shook his head, unable to see anything. Standing again, he brushed off the excess mud, noticing for the first time his ruined jeans.

"I remember being here with Seimei," Ritsuka whispered, looking at the first time at the other two men. "He was standing here with me when…"

The boy was interrupted as his stomach growled loudly. Blushing the teen hung his head, trying to hide from Ritsu and Soubi. He almost wished the earth would swallow him alive right now.

"Hm," Ritsu looked away, off the side as he continued, "perhaps it's a good time to get some food. There's a small restaurant there it looks like."

x-x-x-

Sliding into the overstuffed booth, Ritsuka was hit with a sudden case of Déjà vu. This was familiar, too strangely familiar for the boy. Reading the menu and ordering had been nearly impossible for the boy, as he focused solely on the feeling as he tried to conjure some kind of memories of this place. Blankly he had ordered what he remembered before from his past, a feeling that he had eaten it before.

"I remember," Ritsuka started as he stared at the overly shiny table, "this place. Not this restaurant, but I remember. I hate onions but I love pickles. I love sticky rice best." Ritsuka let his head fall back as his dark eyes stared at the ceiling above him. "I remember eating that," he gestured to the menu to indicate what he had just ordered, "but I can't remember why we were here."

He remembered being out late with his brother. By the time they got home both of their parents had been furious and worried. They both had been hugged while being scolded, punished while kissed. Caring parents, Ritsuka realized, were like that. They yell and cry while hug you; spank while kissing you. They are the ones that file police reports and then cancel them later when the child came back. He never got to experience that anymore, Ritsuka could disappear for weeks and return as if he was never gone.

"That's weird," Ritsu said, breaking the uncomfortable silence, "I wonder why he brought you here. What is he planning?"

The three sat in forced silence as they watched their waitress, an older woman who looked like she should had stopped working years ago, awkwardly set their plates down. She knew they had stopped their conversations as soon as she had arrived; quickly she finished and turned away, making sure to leave quick enough so they could continue.

Soubi scoffed at the question. "This is Seimei. There is nothing to wonder about, he is who he is. You can never understand what is in his mind."

"Such strong words for his old fighter."

"No just true words." Soubi picked up his chopsticks as he began to pick at his food. He had lost his appetite as soon as Seimei was brought up. It was a confusing and sore topic for him still, probably always would be.

The three ate in an uncomfortable silence as they each tried to decipher just what had Seimei planned out here in such an uninhabited area. Ritsu secretly glanced over at the silent boy as he tried to understand him. It felt so weird to see someone who looked so much like Seimei yet act so differently. He felt torn between feeling sorry for this boy and wanting to strangle the life out of him.

Seimei.

One of his groups biggest mistakes. One that he would rectify if he could, though he was still conflicted on what he wanted to do and what he had to do. Sometimes Ritsu wanted to kill the boy, yet there was so much potential. Seimei, though he was a festering thorn trapped in his side, was a great asset because of his strength.

But wherever there was great strength there was always the possibility of having the recoil being strong enough to kill.

x-x-x-

Again trees assaulted the boy as his cat ears flattened against his head. Ritsuka was certain that he would never get used to just how fragrant the air was. It smelled…spicy almost. Each of the individual trees having their own scent. A smell that became overpowering when each tree in the entire forest was put together. A smell that could kill a person.

Yes, Ritsuka was certain that he would never be an 'outdoors person.' He preferred the polluted, watered down air that he was used to at home. He loved being able to breath deeply and only catch the scent of one flower, not a thousand different types battling for dominance.

"So," Soubi glanced around as he pulled out a cigarette, "just where do we go? Or are we just waking this entire thing."

Ritsuka watched completely entranced at how the cigarette bobbed between his lips as his Fighter talked. His eyes never strayed as Soubi pulled out a golden colored lighter, his calloused thumb striking at the metal wheel trying to get a flame to stay against the wind.

Through his muddled mind, which was becoming more muddled as the seconds ticked by (almost as if the scents themselves were a toxin to Ritsuka), the boy had to agree with Soubi's question. It was too foolish for them to walk forever in this forest, they would die before they could make it half way through. Yet none of them seemed to have a clear map of where to walk.

Unless Ritsu's letter…

"That is a excellent question that I was hoping someone else would have happened to have an answer for."

…Ritsuka wanted to scream and bash his head against the nearest tree trunk as he glanced around again. Apparently none of them had a clear cut map of where to go next.

"I am wondering though," Ritsu continued as he walked closer to the two lane road. Reaching the edge he paused long enough to give a half-hearted glance for oncoming cars before walking across leaving the other two dumbfounded guys alone with only a half uttered sentence.

Blinking Ritsuka felt the urge to scream build in his chest again as he took off running, worn sneakers thumping harshly against the ground as he chased after Ritsu (a man he was starting to feel was more annoying then Soubi). As he crossed the street, as small and unused as it was, he refused to check for cars, instead deciding to keep his eyes on the mysterious man before him.

He did not even bother to look behind him, knowing that Soubi would follow, even without orders. Ritsuka had told his Fighter that this entire trip was up to him, there were no orders to follow. It was each person's free will that decided on just what they did.

Reaching where Ritsu had stopped, right at the edge of the forest, Ritsuka gasped for air as he tried to form coherent words. "Was…wondering…what…" He gasped, his lungs suddenly loving the spicy scented forest air, gulping it down as if it was his lifeline.

Glasses glinted in the sunlight as the blond slowly turned to his two companions, as if noticing them for the first time this entire trip. A smirk slowly drew across his face as he lowered his head, the glint of the sunlight suddenly taking a sinister look.

Goosebumps traveled along his spine as Ritsuka fought the urge to back away slowly. For a split second, the first time in his life, the boy wondered if this had been safe after all; he knew almost nothing about this man, yet he had jumped on a bus and traveled for hours out to a place that would be a great dumping ground for a couple dead bodies. A perfect hiding spot that would take weeks before they would be found, if ever.

"What if Seimei left the map right in plain sight. Where someone he deemed worthy could read it."

Soubi scoffed again, as he looked around carefully before looking back at Ritsu. "Where would this map be? Tacked onto a tree?"

Ritsu shook his head negatively. "No," he stared right into the amethyst eyes before him. "It would have to be somewhere where no one else would ever see."

A long, thin finger tapped the top of the boy's head, much to Ritsuka's annoyance as his tail twitched irritated and his ears flatten against his skull again.

"It is in here," the finger tapped Ritsuka's skull again. "The reason he brought him here must have been so it would be the map that we needed."

"But that was years ago!" Ritsuka pulled away from the finger that was slowly causing a headache to sprout. "Are you telling me he planned this this long ago? What if something had happened and the plan had died?"

Ritsu shrugged innocently as he glanced at the forest. "If the plan had failed then everything would have worked out his way and Seimei probably would have never cared that this had failed."

Soubi nodded, intrigued by what his teacher was saying. It did make sense, even if he did not want to admit it.

"Why else would he have brought you out to such a random, weird place?"

"Well his planned failed." Ritsuka muttered darkly his arms crossing his chest tightly. "I can't remember what happened."

"Maybe you need to concentrate more, put yourself back during that time. Feel what you felt then, act as you acted then. It may trigger more memories. Otherwise until then we are stuck waiting until he comes out here and tells us to follow."

x-x-x-

To say he felt foolish would have been the understatement of the century. He felt mortified by having so much attention drawn to him. His cheeks must have been crimson stained by now, as he pressed on temples trying to stave off the headache that was slowly building.

Amethyst eyes fluttered closed as the boy breathed deep soothing breaths. He forced his overactive mind to calm as he mentally began shoving the excess thoughts and worries into cubbies, locking them away until it was time to open them again. As he began to uncluttered his mind, forcing everything away, Ritsuka could feel his body relax.

A familiar tug pulled at him, one that he felt rarely anymore. Déjà vu. This time he welcomed it with open arms, instead of trying to hide from it like he did in the past.

"Ne, Seimei!" Ritsuka sighed as he trudged on after his brother. His legs were sore, his feet tired, and his skin itching from the sweat and dirt that covered it. He wanted nothing more then to head back to the bus stop and go back home. The day had started too early for the young boy, and it was lasting much too long for him.

Amethyst eyes glanced above where the sky should have been, but all he could see were trees. In fact, the boy realized as he glanced around him in a slow circle, all he could see all around him were trees.

"Seimei!" Ritsuka called again, having to run a couple steps to catch up with his older brother. "You do know where you're going right? You do know how to go back to the bus stop."

The older boy stopped, for the first time since they had slipped into the trees and away from the marked trails, to glace back at the smaller boy. "Yes I do, don't worry. But you need to learn this path, so pay attention ok." Crouching down he met Ritsuka's eyes for a second before turning back.

"Why," Ritsuka looked around, still feeling completely lost. There were no way to distinguish just where he was or had been.

"Because in the future it may be the only way for you to see me." Seimei had started walking again, his pace never slowing as he steeped over up grown roots and small plants. "Where you can watch heaven and hell collide. Our special own place that we will decide the fate of many."

"Ne," Ritsuka wanted to ask his older brother just what he meant by all of that. But as he stumbled trying to keep up Ritsuka decided it was safer to give up on trying to talk. Instead he focused solely on staying upright and close to his brother.

Blinking Ritsuka looked around, realizing for the first time that he was smack in the middle of a forest. Slowly he glanced behind him, past to the two blonds that had followed silently (or as far as he knew silently) and to the trees behind him. Again he was hit with the strong feeling that they were in trouble.

"Where you can watch heaven and hell collide. Our special own place that we will decide the fate of many."

The words rung in his ears, echoing in his head as he continued silently along the path that his feet remembered. He silently only could hope that it was the right path that they were taking.

x-x-x-

It felt like hours since they had started walking and Ritsuka was feeling cranky. His feet hurt, his legs shook with each step and he wanted nothing more then to head home. When, almost miraculously, the forest broke away to a clearing.

Sun shone brightly, blinding the boy as he glanced around, a fisted hand shielding his eyes from the sudden burst of light. It was beautiful, no doubt, with how the green grass shivered in the gentle breeze and how the trees linked each other together, their branches intertwining perfectly.

And standing in the middle of the clearing, feet wide apart and arms crossed loosely across his chest, almost falling to his stomach, with a smirk that could turn the sun cold was the one that they had spent hours trying to find. Dark hair fluttered in the gentle breeze as black cat ears stood proudly. The man's smirk grew colder and wider as he watched the three emerge from the tangled forest.

"Seimei," Ritsuka whispered. He was scared to call out too loud, afraid that it would disappear in the shimmering light if he did. Shatter like a mirror, leaving only fragile pieces to rain around them.

"So you remembered the path Ritsuka." Seimei refused to glance at the other two, his attention focused solely on his little brother as he talked, his voice light with a tint of malice on the edge, a promise of the horrors that would come.

"Ritsuka," a hand reached out for his younger brother, "come with me. I want to show you the world that we could have together. A world without others."

The boy could only shake his head in confusion, what in hell did he mean? The boy could again feel his world turn upside down as he pressed at temples. Why was everything that he once knew to be true seem so wrong.

Seimei was good…Then why were there so many stories of his horrors.

Seimei was dead…Then why was he standing here.

"Ritsuka I want to show you just how wonderful the world could be. I almost have it ready for the two of us to live in it together." A smirk crossed his face again, "let me show you what heaven and hell really is like. Our own special place…"

x-x-x-

Ack! DONE! Phew, this chapter was long and hard. I think the longest. But I just couldn't feel a right place to end it otherwise.

Anyways reviews are loved. And I swear from now on it will be more action packed! This is the last building chapter. Action ahead!