Monkey Business

Goku and Gojyo stood by the table, frozen in shock as Hakkai and Sanzo left the building. They stayed there for a couple of minutes, hearing nothing more than a bit of mumbling. It was strange that there was no yelling. They had both expected Sanzo to at least raise his voice and start bitching.

"What do ya think they're doing out there?"

"I don't know," Gojyo replied, wondering what he would see if he took a peek through the curtains. He decided to creep over and take a look. His fingertips parted the curtain slightly, and what he saw made him gape in surprise.

They were kissing, with their lips pressed tightly together. They were both so damn pretty. Fuck, that's hot... Gojyo thought, feeling his cock twitch inside his pants. There was a look of sheer bliss on Hakkai's face, but Sanzo's expression was angry. His eyebrows furrowed and his fingers clenched the fabric around the neck of Hakkai's shirt. Why does he have to look angry even while he's kissing someone?

Gojyo watched as they separated for a moment. Sanzo's features softened and he spoke, although Gojyo couldn't hear the words through the glass. Hakkai seemed as though he was going to say something, but then he started kissing Sanzo instead. They were soft, insistent kisses that went from one end of his mouth to the other.

What surprised Gojyo was the way that Sanzo stood still and allowed it to happen. His eyes were closed so that his thick eyelashes rested softly on his cheeks. He looked peaceful and almost submissive, like he was about to start blushing any minute. Oh, he wants it alright. He wants it bad.

"So what're they doin'?"

The voice was right behind him. Even though it wasn't particularly loud, Gojyo nearly jumped out of his skin at the close proximity of it. He looked to his side and Goku was there, as though he'd somehow crept up next to him without making so much as a sound. Gojyo shrugged and walked back to his seat at the table. "They're... just talkin'."

Goku didn't believe it. If they were just talking, then what was with the silly expression on Gojyo's face when he looked outside? "Somethin's weird," he said, as he walked over to the window.

Panic shot though Gojyo as he tried to think of some excuse to prevent Goku from peeking through the curtains. Then he looked down at the table. Goku had left his food out in the open. "You don't mind if I eat this, do ya?" he asked, pulling a bit of egg off of Goku's plate.

"Hey! Put it back!" Goku cried, rushing back to the table.

Gojyo smiled and laughed to himself. Damn, I'm good! A second later he was tackled by the monkey and forced to drop the food as the two of them began pushing and pulling and yelling in each other's faces. Eventually the fight died down, and they both took their seats at the table. Goku seemed anxious to finish his breakfast, and Gojyo wasn't going to let the monkey hog all the good food. They bickered over it for a few minutes as they ate, but soon the food was gone and there was nothing left to do.

*****

Sanzo scowled and glared as he looked out at the street, trying to ignore the annoying laughter coming from just a few feet to his side. Why did Hakkai always have to laugh? He laughed when he was sad, he laughed when he was angry, and he laughed when he was nervous. What was he laughing about now? They had kissed. So what?

It's not funny, Sanzo thought. There's nothing to be so joyful about. It was a mystery to him why anyone would even be interested in him in the first place. He wasn't a loving person and didn't have anything to offer anyone. He wasn't a whore like the kappa, either. He wasn't about to jump in bed right away. I can't give you that, Sanzo thought. Not now.

He didn't understand what Hakkai was after in the first place. Sanzo didn't know the first thing about romance. He told himself that he didn't want to know, either. This was all just an annoying, inconvenient situation that he had to settle as quickly as possible.

On the other hand, Hakkai's lips had felt nice. Sanzo was appalled when he realized that he wanted to try it again. Just not right away. For the time being, he would calmly smoke his cigarette while staring out into the street, giving his mind some time to adjust to the decision he had just made.

Whatever there was between the two of them, he wasn't going to fight it. He was simply going to wait and see what happened, take things as they came. Sanzo realized that it was going to be difficult. His first instinct was to back away from things like that, but his normal reactions were getting in the way. He kept telling himself that the only reason he was doing it was because he didn't want Hakkai pining for him. It as pathetic. If there was any other reason for his actions, he didn't want to admit that it was there.

Hakkai stood nearby, smiling gleefully. He really couldn't help it. Even if Sanzo demanded that he stop, he doubted that he would be able to wipe the smile off his face. As it was, Sanzo didn't say anything. He simply leaned on the railing and stared out into the street with that usual annoyed expression on his face. Sanzo was undoubtedly irritated by the situation, but Hakkai had come to realize that it wasn't because of him. Sanzo simply didn't respond well to emotionally-charged situations, and that was okay.

Hakkai wanted to thank Sanzo for the tremendous consideration he had shown in admitting that he wanted something like this, in spite of his stubborn pride. For caring enough to always be right by his side whenever he needed someone to talk to. And most of all, for taking this chance, even though becoming close to other people was something that he tried to avoid at all costs. Hakkai also wanted to ask if Sanzo had any particular plans for the two of them within the next few days, but the mood was silent and it discouraged him from talking. Sanzo didn't seem like he would appreciate the interruption.

Sanzo appreciated the silence, even though he didn't show it. He knew that Hakkai was probably dying to talk about what had just happened. He probably had all kinds of questions about what they were going to do from this point on, and how they were going to make this work.

I really don't know where we're going from here. Everything Sanzo had really needed to say had already been said when his lips had first locked with Hakaki's. I don't want to think about what will happen. He still thought it was a dumb idea for the two of them to get involved like that, but what choice did he have?

"It should only be another day or two until Goku's leg is completely healed," Hakkai said, trying to make polite conversation in order to make the tension between them dissipate. "Then we can get back on the road again."

"Good," Sanzo replied, glad to be talking about something normal for once instead of focusing on whatever was happening between the two of them. "I'm sick of this place."

"I'm sure you are. Ah ha ha ha."

"The sooner we can leave, the better."

"Yes." For once, Hakkai actually agreed. They'd spent so much time in this town already. It would be nice to get back on the road again, although Gojyo and Goku would probably spend a lot of time arguing, which would wear on Sanzo's nerves. Thinking about Gojyo and Goku also reminded Hakkai that they were still waiting in the kitchen. "I should probably go back inside now. Goku will want seconds, and there will be a lot of dishes to wash."

Sanzo grunted in acknowledgment, not moving an inch from his spot on the railing as Hakkai walked back into the inn. There wasn't any reason for Sanzo to follow. He didn't want to deal with Goku and Gojyo, and he wasn't hungry enough to finish his breakfast. In fact, now that he thought about it, he'd lost his appetite entirely.

Along with the acceptance of this new facet of his relationship with Hakkai came a new kind of anxiety that he hadn't expected. What am I worried about? he wondered. His question had the same answer it always did. He didn't want to lose someone. He didn't want to be hurt again. Because of that, he didn't want to be close to anyone either.

I'm not really afraid that I'll start to care about Hakkai so much that I can't stand to lose him, am I? Sanzo wondered. That's stupid. He told himself that it would never happen; he would never allow his feelings for anyone to make him that vulnerable again. Yet, he was taking an unnecessary risk in allowing Hakkai to get this far. Sanzo regretted it already. He almost wanted to take the whole thing back, but he knew it would cause too much trouble.

*****

"It's really quiet out there," Goku said, looking over at the window again.

"It's not like those two prudes ever make any noise."

"But Sanzo was angry, right?"

He was... Gojyo thought, remembering the angry look on Sanzo's face just a moment earlier. It had softened up really nice when Hakkai had started kissing him, though. I don't think he's angry anymore.

While he was lost in thought, Goku had wandered over to the window, and this time there wasn't any food to distract him with. Gojyo's mind raced as he tried to think of something. Quickly, before Goku's hands brushed aside the curtains. He was too late.

"I guess they really are just talkin'."

"What?"

"I can't tell 'cause they're both lookin' out at the street."

Gojyo walked up and peered through the curtains. Sure enough, they were standing side by side, leaning on the rail with their backs turned to the window. Good thing they're not kissin' anymore. Because if Goku had caught them, they'd definitely have some explaining to do. Sanzo would be pissed if that happened. In fact, Gojyo wondered exactly how the monk planned on telling Goku. He probably didn't have a clue how to do it.

"If they're just talkin', then... that's good, right?" Goku asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Gojyo answered. "They're talkin' like they always do, right?"

"Yeah," Goku agreed. "But I don't get it. What were you guys talkin' about before?"

"Before what?"

"Hakkai said Sanzo was afraid of something, but nobody never said what it was."

"That's because it's not important."

"Then why'd ya get mad about it?"

"I wasn't that mad. I was just, uh... annoyed, that's all. Because they were fighting again. Besides, shouldn't you be more worried about why Sanzo was mad?"

"But Sanzo always gets mad when people say stuff like that. You're the one who's actin' weird!"

"I'm just actin' weird 'cause they're actin' weird! It's fuckin' annoying!"

"It's 'cause of the kiss, isn't it?" Goku asked. He was pretty sure Gojyo knew about it. Why else would he be acting all fidgety and concerned?

"Wha--" Gojyo gaped. "What kiss?" He really wasn't sure which one Goku was talking about. Had he somehow figured out what had been going on outside just a minute ago, or was it something else?

"Hakkai kissed Sanzo the other night."

"How do you know about that?!"

"Hakkai told me."

"Oh, boy..." Gojyo sighed, shaking his head. "When Sanzo finds out about this, he's not gonna be happy."

"I'm glad Hakkai told me! 'Cause I wanted to know about it, 'cause it's Sanzo!"

"Tch, I know that, but...." Gojyo paused for a moment, frustrated by the situation. "I don't think that you're the one Sanzo's gonna be mad at."

Goku frowned at those words. "I don't want him to be mad at Hakkai, it's not his fault. I'm the one who wanted to know about it. If Sanzo wants to be mad, then... he should be mad at me."

"What he should do is get over it," Gojyo said. "If he has a problem with it, then it's his problem, not everyone else's. Fuckin' tight-ass bastard."

"Pervy kappa."

"How can you stick up for him when he's being such a dick?!"

"'Cause he's Sanzo! An' even if he's mean sometimes, he's still Sanzo!"

"Oi... speak so I can understand you, stupid monkey!" Gojyo replied, rubbing his knuckles into Goku's hair.

"Ow, that hurts!" Goku whined. The conversation descended into a bout of screaming, pushing, shoving and hair-pulling, which lasted only a few minutes before Hakkai opened the door.

"Now now, you two. You won't get seconds unless you sit at the table."

"Seconds? All right!" Goku yelled, scrambling back to the table.

Gojyo shook his head and sighed. "Does that monkey ever care about anything besides food?"

"What else should he care about, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked.

"You're the one to be asking me that question," Gojyo said. Especially after what you were just doing to Sanzo out there, you sneaky bastard.

Hakkai simply smiled instead of voicing his reply. After that he walked over to the table, gathered up the used cups and dishes, and deposited them in the sink. He made sure the food was nice and warm before offering a second helping. Gojyo and Goku both accepted, and went back to eating. Even though Hakkai had given them both quite a bit of food, it didn't take Goku long to scarf it all down and start asking questions again.

"Hey, Hakkai... ya never told me what the kiss was like."

The plate that Hakkai had been holding sunk into the water, making clanking sounds against the other dishes and the bottom of the sink. He wasn't quite certain what to say at this point, and felt that it was better if this particular conversation was postponed indefinitely. There was no way that Goku would allow that to happen, though.

While debating what sort of response to give, Hakkai noticed that it was quiet in the room. Too quiet. Gojyo didn't seem to be shocked at all, which was strange. Hakkai turned around to look in their direction. "Gojyo? You already know about it?"

"Yep. Stupid little monkey let it slip just a minute ago."

"I'm not stupid and I'm not a monkey!"

It seemed like they might get into a fight, so Hakkai tried to go back to doing the dishes. However, Gojyo had decided to ignore Goku instead of fighting with him, because he really wanted to hear about the kiss, too. It was only a moment before Hakkai was interrupted again.

"You're still gonna tell me about it, right?"

"I'm not sure if this is something we should be talking about."

"But you said you were gonna tell me about it!"

"I don't recall making any such statement."

"Come on, Hakkai! I really wanna know!"

"Goku..." Hakkai sighed, wiped the soapy water from his hands with a towel, and turned his whole body around to face them. "Sometimes, when two people do something together, they want to keep it just between the two of them."

"Like a secret, right? But I don't like secrets!"

"No, not exactly. There's also something called privacy, Goku--"

"Aw, man... am I really gonna have to listen to this lecture?" Gojyo interrupted.

"You can tune it out if you'd like," Hakkai suggested.

"I don't care what you call it, it's still the same thing!" Goku insisted. "I wanna know why Sanzo was mad at ya! And why you guys are still actin' funny! And why..." he trailed off as he looked toward the door, wondering what Sanzo was doing out there. "I just wanna know that he's okay. 'Cause Sanzo..."

This time when Goku paused, it was because he didn't want to hurt Hakkai's feelings. But he really didn't know how else to say it. "He doesn't like doin' stuff like that."

"He's fine." Even though the statement was more or less true, Hakkai felt like he was lying as he said it. The more he thought about recent events, the more his guilt grew. "However, it is true that my feelings for Sanzo have caused him trouble." At least, it certainly had the first time they had kissed, which was the time that Goku kept insisting that he ought to know about. "It truly wasn't my intention to kiss him that time. I wouldn't have, if he hadn't told me to."

"But why did he tell you to, Hakkai?"

"Perhaps it was because..." He was going to say that it was because Sanzo knew that Hakkai wanted to do it. But, now that Hakkai thought about it, he didn't think that Sanzo would allow it just for that one reason. It didn't make any sense. There had to be something else. "No, I'm really not sure why."

"Well, what happened?"

"I had told him that I had wanted to kiss him." Hakkai reported it casually, as though talking about something commonplace, like the weather, or their next meal. Then he was quick to defend himself. "I really didn't intend to do that, either, but..." He struggled to find the words for what had taken place, remembering the way Sanzo had demanded an answer that day. "He forced me."

The phrase unexpectedly brought back memories of Kanan, and the way she had forced him to listen to her suggestions, learn the games she liked to play, and cook her food. She was someone who had always spoken her mind, Sanzo was like that, too.

But, the two of them are so different, Hakkai objected to his own line of reasoning. Comparing Sanzo to Kanan was surely much like comparing apples and oranges. Her methods of talking him into something had been kind and gentle; even her outspoken moments had been full of smiles and laughter. Sanzo was harsh and angry in comparison. Yet, underneath his icy demeanor, he truly cared for those around him. In contrast, Kanan had cared for people openly, yet there was still this strange sense of similarity. They had certainly both cared for him, in their own ways.

This train of thought is... Hakkai shook his head. It was simply unacceptable. He decided to think about something else.

Meanwhile, Goku had been listening carefully to what Hakkai had said. He guessed that it wasn't Hakkai's fault if Sanzo had forced him. Goku couldn't really blame Hakkai, because he knew that there were times when Sanzo wouldn't take no for an answer. But even if it wasn't really Hakkai's fault, Goku was still worried. He still didn't understand why Sanzo had done it. Did he do it 'cause he's worried about Hakkai, or because it was causing too much trouble? It didn't even occur to Goku that Sanzo could possibly enjoy such a thing, let alone want it.

Goku had known Sanzo for a long time, and he always tried to avoid things like that. Goku didn't really understand why, but there was no way Sanzo was going to change his mind just because someone else wanted him to.

Anyway, why would Sanzo have acted so strangely the past few days if everything was really okay? Goku knew that Hakkai wouldn't want to hurt Sanzo, but that didn't mean that he'd actually managed not to. A lot of the time when Sanzo was upset, he didn't want anyone to know about it. As much as Goku wanted to believe in what Hakkai had said, he wouldn't be satisfied until he knew what was going on for himself.

Gojyo was just sitting there saying nothing. He listened to the nervous tone in Hakkai's voice and watched the way Goku's gaze kept drifting toward the door. The questions were probably making Hakkai feel even worse than he should, and the last thing that guy needed was another guilt trip. But, of course, the monkey was worried about his master. Gojyo couldn't really say anything about it. The whole situation was fucked up. In his opinion, it was all Sanzo's fault. He's such an asshole.

As if on cue, Sanzo walked through the door. He entered the room without looking at any of them and sat down at the table. There was tension, and that was to be expected. Luckily, his newspaper was still nearby, and Sanzo wasted no time burying his face in it.

Normally, activity would pick up after that, but it didn't. It was unusually quiet, and Sanzo got the distinct impression that all three of the others had been talking about him behind his back. Inclining the paper away from his face, he peered over the top of it at the two sitting at the table with him. "What's going on?"

"Aw, nothin'." Gojyo replied in the same casual tone as usual. Goku looked up at Sanzo with a stupid expression on his face, and Hakkai was busying himself with the dishes.

Sanzo went back to his paper. A few local demon reports; nothing unusual. He wondered why they hadn't been attacked already. Maybe Kougaiji and his minions had decided to take a vacation after their last battle; who knew?

After a few minutes, Sanzo realized that he was hungry. He hadn't eaten much of his breakfast before the earlier disturbance. Everything was cold now, but he really didn't care. He took a few bites of the eggs. They weren't bad, but they needed something. "Hey, Hakkai... do we have any mayonnaise?"

"How the fuck are you gonna put mayonnaise on your eggs?!" Gojyo protested.

"Shut up, perverted kappa!"

"At least I'm not the one with the taste buds of an alien!"

"Now now, you two," Hakkai interrupted, setting a jar of mayo on the table. It was sufficient to distract Sanzo from arguing with Gojyo, at least. "Would you like more food, Goku?"

"Nah, it's okay," Goku said, pushing his plate away. Everyone stared at him for a minute.

"You don't want any?" Hakkai asked. "There's still plenty in the pan."

"No, I'm fine."

"You're not hungry?" Gojyo asked.

"I don't believe it," Sanzo added.

"Ah ha ha, very well then," Hakkai finished, taking the dirty dishes back to the sink.

There was an awkward silence for a moment. Then Sanzo went back to his paper, Gojyo leaned back in his chair, and Goku smiled sheepishly while Hakkai resumed washing the dishes. None of them wanted to start up a conversation about what was really going on.

Those bastards, Sanzo thought. Now he was certain that they had been talking about him behind his back. It pissed him off. It was bad enough that something was happening between him and Hakkai, but it would be even worse if everyone knew about it. Sanzo didn't like the stupid looks that Goku kept giving him, either. Someone definitely told him something.

It was so annoying that Sanzo wanted to put his paper down and stomp right back outside just to get away from them. But he was actually getting hungry, so spread the mayonnaise over his eggs and ate them first. At least Goku and Gojyo still gave him the same strange looks that they always did when he ate something smothered in mayo. Idiots. There's nothing wrong with the way I eat. It tasted good. They just didn't know what they were missing. They don't understand how well the rich taste of mayonnaise goes with the sweetness of the pork and the meaty tomatoes in these eggs.

Even though the mood in the room had calmed down by the time he finished eating, Sanzo wasn't sure that he wanted to stay. He really wanted to know what the three of them had been saying before he got there, but it wasn't a good time to interrogate them. It would probably start more drama with Hakkai, and make Gojyo and Goku upset. Sanzo wasn't in the mood to deal with any of that. He was sick of it.

"I'm going out for a smoke," he announced, hoping it would lessen the tension if he warned them beforehand. It didn't really matter, so he went ahead and walked out the door.

Hakkai and Gojyo didn't think much of it when Sanzo left, but Goku's eyes followed him to the door. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't stop looking. It seemed like Sanzo was okay now, but was he really okay, or was he just pretending? Things were awkward, but there wasn't as much tension between them as there had been for the past few days. It was just weird. Goku didn't get it. What were they talkin' about out there?

While Hakkai finished washing the dishes, he noticed that the room was too quiet. He glanced at the table and caught the confused look on Goku's face. It made him feel guilty all over again. This really wasn't fair to Goku at all.

Hakkai couldn't help but sigh as he returned to the dishes, drying them all off and setting them in their respective cupboards. He didn't know what he could do about it. No one could force Sanzo to talk with Goku, and Hakkai had already tried to explain it the best that he could. Staying in the dining room with them was only making him feel worse. "I'm going to go read for a bit."

Gojyo watched as Hakkai made his way past them and toward the hallway that led to their rooms. He didn't say anything even though he wanted to. It would only make things worse. It was probably better if Hakkai had a little time to himself now, because he really needed to calm down and relax.

Meanwhile, Gojyo turned to his attention to companion at the table. The monkey was strangely silent, staring at the door as though his gaze could bore holes in the walls and reveal the object of his current obsession. "Oi, little monkey..." he paused to drop a fist onto Goku's head. "You're not gettin' jealous, are ya?"

"Hey, stop that!" Goku cried, pushing Gojyo's hand off of his head. "Whadda ya mean?"

"You know, like when a little brat only has a single parent, and then that parent starts dating, and the kid drives away all the dates because he's afraid that his parent won't have any time for him anymore?"

Goku blinked. He wasn't sure. It was true that he cared about Sanzo a lot, and maybe on some level he was jealous that Hakkai had kissed him. But it wasn't because he thought that Sanzo wouldn't have time for him anymore. He knew that Sanzo would still care about him, no matter what happened.

"It's not that." The real reason Goku upset was because he didn't understand what was going on. Sanzo had seemed angry and upset earlier. Goku was worried about him. "I just don't get it."

"Hm? Ya don't get what?"

"I don't get why he did it. Why would Sanzo ask Hakkai to kiss him? It's just weird!"

"Yeah, I guess it was pretty unusual," Gojyo agreed. "But you know... maybe Sanzo wanted Hakkai to kiss him?"

"Yeah, right. You're just sayin' that 'cause you want it to be that way, pervy kappa."

Gojyo smirked. "You just can't accept the idea that Sanzo might want to kiss somebody, can ya?"

"No," Goku replied. "It doesn't make sense. Come on, Gojyo.!You've known us for years an' Sanzo's never done anything like that!"

"Yeah, but...if he's pushing people away like that all the time...don't you think he'd get a little lonely?"

The question stayed on Goku's mind as he looked back over at the door. It was true that Sanzo didn't let a lot of people get close to him, but was it also true that he was lonely? He probably was, at least a little bit. Goku was sure that Sanzo felt that way sometimes, even if he'd never say so. But it wasn't as bad now as it had been when Goku had first met him. In fact, now that they were on their journey, Sanzo complained about being around the others too much.

Gojyo was getting bored. There was nothing to do. Sanzo was standing outside smoking, Hakkai was in his room reading, and the monkey was silently staring at a door. As crazy as things had been the past few days, he was afraid that something else would happen if he left. But he felt like he would die of boredom if he didn't do something, so he reluctantly decided to go to the bar. Playing a game of poker with a bunch of lushes who were drunk at noon was better than sitting around with a gloomy Sanzo party. After tussling Goku's hair one last time, Gojyo got up and left.

Goku thought that it would be as good a time as any to go and talk to Sanzo. He'd had a few minutes to stand around and smoke, so he was probably more relaxed than he had been earlier. Goku didn't want to bother Hakkai after all the questions he'd asked earlier, either. A minute or two after Gojyo had left, Goku ventured out the door. Sanzo was just a few steps away, leaning against a wall and smoking a cigarette. Goku walked over and stood beside him, trying to think of a way to ask questions that wouldn't get him whacked over the head with Sanzo's paper fan.

Sanzo thought that it was annoying. He knew that Goku had come outside to say something, but he was holding back. Sanzo just wanted to get it over with already. "What is it?"

Before he said anything, Goku looked up at the grouchy expression on Sanzo's face. It wasn't any worse than usual. He actually seemed pretty calm. "Are ya still mad?"

About what? Sanzo wondered, looking down at Goku. The argument I had with Hakkai this morning? "No."

Goku stared at him for a moment and then looked back down at the ground.

Sanzo huffed. Someone had obviously told the monkey something, and now he was acting weird because of it. The situation was getting more and more annoying by the second. "What did they tell you?"

"Hakkai said he kissed you the other day."

"Tch, idiot."

"He said that you told him to."

The comment bothered Sanzo, and he was reluctant to reply to it. "Yeah."

"Why?"

Sanzo mentally groaned at the simple question. There was nothing more irritating than the way Goku was constantly demanding explanations for things that he didn't want to talk about. How could he explain what he had done? "You remember the way things were the other day, right?"

"Yeah."

"That's why."

"So... ya did it because things were weird and ya didn't like it?"

This time Sanzo couldn't hold back an annoyed sigh. "That's not it."

"Then why?"

"I didn't like the way he was acting that day."

Goku thought about that for a minute. Then he smiled, because what Sanzo was really saying was that he cared about Hakkai and didn't want him to be sad. Goku didn't like seeing Hakkai sad either. If a kiss made him happy again, then that was all right. He didn't really know what to think about it, but it seemed like Sanzo was fine now. Whatever the problem had been before, it wasn't bothering Sanzo that much anymore. Goku was really happy about that.

After watching Goku for a minute, Sanzo reached down to muss his hair. "It's not something that you need to worry about."

"Okay."

*****

END.

*****

Author's Note:

There is a reason I've been so slow with their series lately. It's because, for quite some time now, I've been at the point where I felt I just had to stop and re-evaluate things. While I'm still happy with the original plot ideas, I don't feel that my writing is expressing those ideas the way it should.

Awhile back a friend of mine mentioned a certain fic in which the exposition was terribly overdone, and I couldn't help but wonder if I don't make the same mistake sometimes. I have a tendency to over-analyze everything, and I'm sure it couldn't hurt to tone it down a little.

I've also realized that I'm entirely unhappy with the way I've written Hakkai throughout most of this series. He's just so pathetic. It's horrible. And although it is true that his personality actually was pretty pathetic during most of the Chin Yisou arc, I can't help but feel as though I've made it worse. I want to change that. Because Hakkai deserves better, regardless of my whole love/hate relationship with his character.

I can't say that my latest chapter has accomplished that at all. But, I did take a lot of time out to arrange it so that it made sense and try to cut back on some of the exposition. From now on, I want to put a lot more effort into the series, to make it something that's really worth reading and not just something mediocre. It'll probably take a lot of time, and a complete overhaul of certain things, but I think that any effort I put in will be worth it.

I'd also like to ask anyone who's read my fics to give me any feedback that they have. Everyone always has an opinion about what they read. I want to hear them, regardless of whether I'd find them favorable or not. The only way to improve is to realize your faults and work on them.

I'm just so lost in my own little world sometimes, I really need the constructive criticism to figure out what I'm doing wrong... or even just what I could do better.

~Hector