What can I say ? Watch 5E04 and you will understand the emotion that transpires from this brief but INTENSE moment.

New flash on the island. This time, Sawyer sees Kate helping out Claire through childbirth. Sawyer's thoughts during the short moment he saw the love of his life again :'(

Thanks a lot magic box for the translation

Her Smile

« Guys where are we ? » That's what Charlie said, and I still remember those words. But today, he could well say: "Guys, when are we?" were he still alive. Flash after flash, second after second, minute after minute, the island's past unveils itself, its somewhat crazy inhabitants peeking out of the unknown… yet that killing pain just won't go away.

Locke said that he could save us all. He said he could stop this frigging time travel, that they have to come back, that SHE has to come back. SHE is alive… I try so hard to believe it, to ease the pain, but Kate will never come back. I know it. I wonder what I would tell her, but I know I'll never see her again. Never.

There's a scream in the jungle. I run towards it headfirst, don't care about the danger. What's the use of living, knowing that the ongoing flashes will just drive us all crazy like Ginger.

As I get nearer to the screams, voices fill the night. Wait… I know this voice. I approach… and what lies before me whips my frozen heart smack back into life. She is there. As alive as a ray of sun. She is about to help Claire give birth! My heart is pounding faster and I just stand there by a tree and look, hypnotised. I could go to her. I could talk to her. I want SO MUCH to touch her that my feet are glued to the ground. Every single line of her face sinks into my memory. I relive all of our moments together, our confessions, giggles, kisses, her skin so soft - and her tears, the tears I wish she would have never shed. And her smile. The same endearing smile that lightens up her face like a million rainbows as she is now holding Aaron. A baby.

I remember my reaction when she came to me, afraid of being pregnant: "Let's hope you're not." And when her fear turned out negative, I said: "Yes, yes it would have been the worst thing in the world. What would we have done with a baby?" What a cruel irony to see her holding this tiny little living thing, like the baby she wanted so much and that a part of me wanted too. The day I protected little Aaron is the day I understood how deeply I had wounded her. To see her with Aaron now is heart breaking, knowing they're both gone forever…

This woman gave me all that she had: her friendship, her trust, her love. Because of her, I am a new man, and my heart aches to see her right in front of me while I can't darn do nothing.

Her beautiful smile widens, and it makes me grin. A light grin, as the scene before me becomes blurred. I so love to see her happy, I love her smile, I simply love her, me, the scoundrel of a conman, I love her to death and this moment is frozen in my memory for ever and ever.

Son of a bitch. A flash. I know what's gonna happen. She's starting to disappear already. I can still feel our last kiss on my lips, even though she is dead and I will never see her smile again.

---

Daylight falls upon me and I take a moment to move my muscles and feel my heart break into pieces all over again. I know she'll never be back.

Here comes Locke, talking to me. I look back one last time to where she was kneeling a mere moment ago. Then I turn around and go my own way. It doesn't matter, it's all over now, is what I say to me.

I've only loved once, and all that is left of her lies in my memory.

Thinking back to what Locked said… what if it WAS true ?

Nah, it's impossible. I'll carry on, burying inside the only thing that will keep me alive on this rock: her smile.