A/N

So a couple of months ago I told you guys that I was going to write a "dirty chapter". Well, this is the chapter. I'll warn you, it should be rated X. It's pretty raunchy...some of you may be disgusted by it. But, I gave you all fair warning and asked if any of you opposed to my writing one. No one messaged me or notified me saying they didn't want one, so here it is.

If anyone happens to read this and doesn't like what they read, sorry. If you want to leave me a nasty comment, go ahead, but know that it's a waste of your time. I probably won't read any bitchy comments pertaining to this chapter, mainly because I warned you guys and gave you a chance to tell me if you would be offended. For those of you who don't care for intense sexual content, I will insert a page barrier before it begins so you may skip over it and still read the remainder of the chapter that is clean. As far as reviews go, just review as you normally would. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Here it is...hope none of you are scarred permanently after reading this. Haha...

Already Gone

"Take a seat and relax," Audra's normally bubbly voice pleaded softly. "And stop biting your nails."

I paused in my pacing and shot her a dark look. "I can't." I started pacing again, rubbing my hands together just below my chin.

"Just try. Kate's gonna be okay."

"Audra, people don't just faint from nothing. No one touched her save for the panther, and from what we could see she wasn't bleeding when she passed out." I sighed deeply at her look of questioning.

"She'll be okay, Raine," she repeated, this time sounding more like she was trying to convince both of us rather than just me.

I glanced at her to see my anguish mirrored on her face and I nodded before settling for leaning against the wall beside the bed. We had run to mine and Caspian's room to wait for him, but both of us were anxious and still very afraid to know what had happened to our friend. As I leaned there against the wall, I couldn't help but to hear the chastising voice in my head telling me that this was also my fault. I banged my head backwards against the wall, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Don't take the blame for this," Audra's soft voice filled the half-dark room again. I cracked my eyes open enough to see her sad face faintly illuminated by the meager candlelight.

"How can I not?" I crossed my arms over my chest as if holding myself. "Every bit of this is my fault. But I don't know what else I can do," my voice faded off to nothing.

"You're biting your nails again," she said.

The door slowly swung open and in walked Caspian. His hair was still windblown from the ride and his gait was evidence enough that he was exhausted. Audra and I both followed his labored path to the bed with our eyes, both of us only guessing what he could be feeling at the moment. He sat down and rubbed his face with his hands before dropping them to his lap. This crap was probably taking ten years off of his life and it was all because of me. I couldn't stand to see him so distressed.

"Caspian?" I asked gently, wanting him to meet my eyes more than anything instead of staring at his feet. At hearing his name, he looked up. He reached out a shaky hand and held it out to me, silently asking me to come to him. Even though the room was pretty dark, I could still make out the anguish in his chocolate eyes and it was more than I could do to see it and do nothing. I took his hand and sat beside him, wrapping my arms around him to offer him any comfort I could. Over his shoulder I could see Audra chewing her lip. And then she sat on his other side and did the same. It probably would have been funny if the situation hadn't been so serious. We sat there silently, each of us just finding comfort in the other. But even though everything was quiet, my mind was spinning at ninety to nothing.

Reeling.

Reeling with possibilities, potential solutions, and last resorts. Somehow we had to get out of this. If we didn't, Caspian, Audra and, well hell, any of us could end up losing our minds. Audra's soft voice drug me from my thoughts.

"Is she okay?" she asked Caspian, rubbing circles on his back. Her voice was calm and steady, but the look on her face screamed disaster.

Shaking slightly beneath my hands, Caspian mustered up the strength to speak. "She was poisoned."

My breath rushed from my lungs and I collapsed against Caspian's back. "Poisoned," I echoed his voice in a whisper. Caspian shook his head.

"All I can figure is that the panther's claws must have been coated in some sort of poison. That panther scratched Kate pretty badly," he said weakly, burying his face in his hands. "And the cuts were deep…deep enough to send the poison straight into her bloodstream."

Audra sniffed and laid her head against Caspian's shoulder, trying to hide the tears that were probably about to escape from her eyes. "Will she live?" were her muffled words from against his tunic. I was silently praying against him that she would. Because if Kate, my cousin and best friend died here in this fantastical world that I drug her into, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

"I believe she will."

I pulled myself up from where I was clinging to the fabric on his back and rested my chin on his shoulder. "She will live. She got medical attention quickly and they were able to flush out the poison," he said with a soft determinism in his voice.

"Well let's pray that she does live. But we can't overlook the big picture here," I said meekly from on his shoulder, brushing my cheek against his. I felt him squeeze my hands, which were resting on his stomach.

"The big picture…you mean the reality. This isn't the end, nor is it the worse that can happen," Caspian said, his voice deepening with each word.

"It will get worse, my love." I pulled away and rose to stand in front of both him and Audra. "Something has to be done."

Audra looked up at me with glossy eyes. "Yea, and what are you suggesting?"

"I will go to them."

Caspian's hands flew to my sides so fast that I didn't even see it coming. And as soon as they were on my waist, they were clamped with an iron grip. I looked up at him to see fire blazing in his eyes. "You're not going anywhere, Querida," he said fiercely. The authoritative gruffness was back, and for a second I trembled at the sight of it. But then I felt my strength come back.

"I have to, Caspian."

"No! You aren't going and that's final!" he shouted, pulling me to him swiftly and closing the distance between us. The force in his movement startled something in me. It was stubbornness.

"Then what else would you like to do, hmm? You heard them yourself! They want both of us now."

He made a guttural sound in his throat that sounded somewhat like a growl. "Exactly, Raine. And what good would it do for you to go to them alone? It won't solve anything!" His teeth clashed together as he clamped his mouth shut in anger and his eyes flashed dangerously beneath his dark brows.

For a moment I didn't speak. I just looked as much as I could without trembling into the eyes that were boring into mine. I knew he didn't want me to go…I knew the fear he held for my safety. But I also knew that something had to be done, and there was no way he could go to them. If he went to them they would kill him immediately. If I went to them, they wouldn't. They wouldn't kill me until I could successfully lead them to Caspian…or lead him to them. They would use me as a lure to draw him in. But that wasn't it. I had something that would make my life even more valuable to them…at least until they had Caspian where they wanted him. Then they would kill us both.

"If you go to them, you'll die. You're the one they want. They will kill you without a second thought," I said emotionlessly, trying to look at his neck rather than his eyes. I felt myself being lowered to his lap, but I still didn't look away. His hands loosened their grip on me and I felt him pulling me against him. Warm breath blew against my neck and I knew that he had buried his face in my shoulder.

"They'll just as easily kill you, too, Querida. That's why I must go." I barely heard him, he was speaking so softly. But I got his meaning instantly.

"Caspian, no! You can't let them win! You're needed here!" I cried, panic racking its way through me at the thought that he would surrender himself. Then who would look after Narnia?

He shook his head against me, slumping into me. "I'm the reason they are unhappy. I've failed them all. And until I am gone, there will be unrest. If I just let them have me, it will be better for all of you."

I looked to see that Audra had disappeared, but I had no idea when she had gone. I jerked myself away from him and took his chin in my palm, forcing him to look up at me. "Better for all of us, you say?" He looked back at me, all fierceness gone. His brown eyes shined with unshed tears and his desperation swam freely. It took all I had to say my next words without breaking down. "Who will benefit from losing you, Caspian? Okay, so if they win…if they take your life and get their revenge, everyone will be happy again? Nobody else will get hurt. Maybe everything might settle and be the way it should be. The Narnians will continue to war with the Telmarines. The throne will be empty again. You will be gone, Caspian." I had to stop, and I breathed in forcefully trying to push back my tears. I could feel that scorching burning feeling rising in my chest, but I couldn't cry. Not now. "And where will I be? When you're gone and you've left this world in your self sacrifice, in your hope of restoring peace, where will I be? You once told me that you couldn't exist in a world that I'm not in. Do you think you're the only one who feels that way?" I quickly tore my gaze away from his, looking down at my lap when I felt the tears give way. I felt him take my both of my hands in one of his. I also realized I was trembling. "You can't leave me, Caspian. That's not a plea, and it's not a suggestion. It's an order."

His voice cracked when he spoke, and it was deep with his own tears. "Querida, my love, my queen," he squeezed my hands, "I love you, more than anything in this world. I love you more than I love myself. I would do anything to make you happy and keep you safe." I saw his lip droop and I knew he would be crying out loud soon. "If it means giving myself up, I will do it. You can continue on for me. You can be the queen this world needs you to be, I know it. I have faith in you, and countless others do as well. I want you to live on, and be the legend I know you're sure to become. But in order for you to do this, I must go. You have to let me go, my love," he croaked, letting my hands go to cup my tear soaked face in his hands.

As I sat there in his lap, looking into his eyes that spoke of determination and sacrifice, I made my plan. I wouldn't breathe a word of it to anyone…not even Audra. Caspian would NOT die for me or for anyone else. There was another way, and I knew it. But this, I would have to do on my own.

Alone.

He pressed his lips against mine with an intensity I hadn't been expecting, but returned just as fervently. But the idea of him leaving me to go to his death was still more than I could fathom. His lips parted from mine and he rested his forehead against mine, trying to find his last moments of contentment. But still being overwhelmed at the idea of what he was willing to do still had my mind and my heart whirling. I jumped from his lap and ran from the room, not surprised at all when he didn't call after me. Or he may have called after me, and I just didn't hear him. I kept running until I found myself in front of a familiar door. I doubted that the door would open, but I grabbed the doorknob and jiggled it anyway. In my luck, the door flew open and I threw myself in, landing roughly on the mattress I had only slept on once. It was the room I had slept in after Caspian's coronation…and after Eddie attacked me…this was the room where we had spent our last few moments together. And how ironic was it that instead of spending the last few moments I had with my fiancé, I was crying on this bed. At some point I cried myself to sleep.

While I slept, I had some of the weirdest dreams. Why is it that we always dream about the weirdest things when we're upset, or when we have chaos in our lives? I dreamed that all was well in Narnia, and Caspian and I had married. In this dream I was the queen he imagined me to be, and we had a son. He was seven, and everything a little boy should be. He had his father's dark brown hair, long and soft on his shoulders. He also had his father's dark Telmarine complexion, but he had my eyes, which brought on a sharp and beautiful contrast in his face. That's as much as I could tell in the dream, but I did know that both his parents loved him very much. But you know how it is when you're in the middle of a really pleasant dream. Everything changes almost as quickly as it started. The last thing I saw before I woke up screaming was Caspian jumping into a wall of fire as he threw the boy back into my arms. I saw myself sink to the ground, hugging the boy to my chest and screaming about why Caspian had to die to save everyone. And that's when I woke up, screaming and drenched in sweat. I jumped up from where I had been lying on my stomach and flew straight into a pair of strong, warm arms.

"Shh, shh, you're safe, my love, you're safe," Caspian's soft words rolled over me as his breath fanned against my ear. I gasped, realizing that none of it was real and then I did what I would most likely regret later. I sobbed. Caspian's arms tightened around me and he began stroking my neck beneath my hair, brushing his lips gently along my temple. I cried harder than I thought I could. The dream had been so perfect until the point when Caspian died. I knew that had happened in my dream because he said he would die to restore peace to the world again. But why had we been a family in the dream? Why did we have a child, when realistically we would never get to that point in our life together? I moaned at the pain that shot through me at the thought, and a fresh wave of sobs racked through me. Caspian kissed my cheek this time, and started rocking me softly. "It was only a dream, Querida. I'm here now and there's nothing that can get to you here. Nothing will touch you while I'm here."

It took several minutes before I could reduce the sobbing to gentle weeping, and that's when I finally managed to speak. "Caspian," I moaned, pulling away to look into his eyes. "You c-can't leave m-me." That was all I could get out before I started weeping again, and Caspian pulled me against him again, running his fingers through my hair and sighing deeply.

I don't know how in the hell he did what he did next. I don't know where he mustered up the strength or the courage. But he bent down and put his lips just by my ear and whispered, "I'll never really leave you, my dearest Raine. As long as you hold me in your memory, I'll always be here," he rested his hand on my chest just over my heart, and I felt fresh tears falling down my cheeks.

I knew his decision was made. He was going to go to them to give himself up. This empty feeling came over me and another wave of sobs escaped me. There was a hole opening up in my heart, and I knew that once he was gone it would gape even wider. But I could see that there was no swaying him. All I could do was help him to feel better about what he was about to do, and prepare myself for it. God, I'll miss him, was the only thing I could think before I crashed into him, capturing his lips and kissing him with everything I had. He responded, releasing all the worry and anxiety he was feeling about his decision.

XX~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~If you don't want to read the dirty part, stop reading now and skim until you see another page divider~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~XX

What happened next was not something I had planned to do, nor was it something I thought through. I pushed him down backward onto the bed, never taking my eyes from his. He complied, lying back, but the expression on his face declared utter confusion. His eyes were wide and black, and his lips were parted slightly, allowing the heavy breaths he was taking to escape. When his head hit the pillow, I climbed on top of him and sat over his waist, looking down at him and trying my best to remember him as he was now. I looked down, placing my hands on his abdomen just above the waistband of his trousers. "You're memory will live in me until the day I cease to breathe," I said, my voice thick with emotion and desire. When I looked back up, I could see the tension building in his eyes, getting ready to spring like a coil that was wound too tight. His hands found my waist and he started pulling me down on top of him. I let him lower me and as soon as I was resting on him, he raised his head up to capture my lips again. His hands twined themselves in my hair and the way his tongue was dancing against mine was driving me wild. One of his hands trailed to the back of my neck while the other tangled my hair enough to pull it a little, which caused me to gasp into the kiss. Slowly I pulled away, raking my teeth against his lower lip as I stared into his dark eyes. He pushed me back enough so that he could raise up, leaning against the headboard of the bed. Barely inches apart now, he reached his hands around me and I could feel his fingers tugging at the laces that held my dress together. He leaned against me and peered over my shoulder to see, but he wasn't winning. He pulled back and looked at me with a dark twinkle in his eye before reaching down to his boot and pulling out a small knife. My eyes widened at it, but only because I knew exactly what he was planning to do. I felt my breathing increase as he laid me over so he could tear the knife through the laces, also cutting through my corset. The next I knew my dress was being ripped off of my body, and I heard the ruffling sound of the heavy fabric landing on the floor in a lump. I was about to push myself up to resume where we'd left off, but his hand was on my back holding me down. I felt him shift and his legs disappeared from beneath me, and then I felt him sit on top of me. His hands started at the small of my back and traveled upward slowly, letting his fingers glide over every inch of my back. His hands traveled over to my belly, and when his hands stopped just beneath my breasts I gasped through my teeth, creating a low hissing sound. This was just the encouragement that he needed, because he leant down enough that I could feel the silky fabric of his tunic against my back and his lips on my ear. He parted them just enough so a sliver of breath could rush into my ear, causing me to hiss again. I almost felt him smirking when he closed his mouth around my earlobe, dragging his teeth over it. And while I was concentrating completely on the feel of his mouth on my ear, I felt his hands slide over my breasts. His thumbs brushed over my nipples and my mouth flew open, a loud gasp escaping. An almost menacing chuckle rumbled from him and then he was rolling me over to lie on my back. As soon as I was on my back I pushed myself up to sit, staring straight back into his eyes, black with desire. His hands were still cupping my breasts and I scooted closer to him, biting my bottom lip. I reached beneath his tunic and laid my hands on his abs, running them upward toward his chest. But then I felt like getting revenge for the torture he performed on my ear and my breasts. And payback would be sweet. With one hand traveling over his chest, I used the other to grab his crotch, which gained a hiss from him. He closed his eyes, trying his best to keep his composure, but I wasn't done yet. I loosened the grip and then started rubbing the quickly hardening bulge there. He moaned and I felt him give in to me. I grinned and pushed him back down onto the bed, not taking my hand off of his bulge. Once he was down I removed my hand so that I could run my hands over the fabric of his tunic. The tunic was old and worn, and the thread was thin enough to tear, so I ripped it apart, exposing his toned chest. His eyes widened at what I had done and I could see his chest rising quickly with his rough breathing. I bent down and traced the indention around his belly button with my tongue, marveling when I saw him suck in his stomach in response. I crouched on top of him and pressed my chest to his stomach, and slowly slid myself up to his chest. The contact of my nipples against his rugged chest was pleasing and I couldn't help but see the fire that leapt in his eyes. I rose back up and sat on top of his stomach, letting him feel how hot I was. My hands gripped the pillow on either side of his head when I felt his palm rub against the pair of panties I was wearing, sending a shudder through me as I moaned. When he felt my wetness he growled and grabbed me, throwing me back down on the bed. His fingers found the line of my panties and slid beneath it, causing me to gasp loudly and whimper. He smirked darkly before bunching the panties in his hands and dragging them down my legs, tossing them behind him to land somewhere on the floor. And there I laid, completely exposed to him. The only thing he was still wearing were his breeches, and those were soon to be gone as well. I reached my hands up to the string that held his trousers up, and with one stroke it was undone. I grabbed two handfuls of the fabric behind his knees and yanked them down, and he kicked them off before standing on his knees, letting me see him completely bare. I laid there for a moment, drinking in the sight of him, as it could very well be the last. That was before I positioned my knees on either side of his waist and curled my finger towards me, motioning for him to come closer. He crawled over me, dropping on top of me as he claimed my lips again, this time letting me feel his heat and increasing impatience. His tongue probed my mouth, giving me a preview of what was to come. I unwrapped my arms from around his neck and let my hands travel down his torso again, landing on his hips. Then, as dangerously slow as I could, I drug my fingers lightly down to his groin, smirking when he gasped into my mouth. I found his penis, erect and ready, and brushed my thumb over the tip, causing him to gasp again. He parted his lips from mine and braced himself to where he hovered just over me, and his elbows were planted into the mattress beside me. I rubbed the tip between my thumb and index finger, loving the way his eyes squeezed shut and the way his breathing hitched. And then, ever so slowly, I drug them down the length of it, tracing them around the base and then tracing around his sack. I could feel him shuddering over me and could feel him panting. I cupped my palm around his sack and started massaging it, and that's when he became putty in my hands. I rolled him over and sat on top of him, biting my lip in pride when I saw how he automatically clutched the bed sheets. And just as I was about to go down, he stopped me.

"Wait," he said breathlessly, breathing heavily.

I looked up, pausing with my fingers around his shaft. His eyes were narrowed slits and his face was taut as he spoke. "Are you sure you want this…will it only make things harder for you? You know, when I'm gone?" he asked, his voice rising in pitch a little. He almost sounded…nervous?

I gazed at him before lowering down and dragging my tongue over his tip. I raised back up to see his eyelashes fluttering and his knuckles were white with the effort of squeezing the bed sheets he had balled up in his fists. "Indulge me this, just this once." I swirled my tongue around the head, just beneath the rim. He was shuddering again, and I felt him tremble when I cupped his sack again. "And Caspian?" I asked, my voice thick with my pent up desire.

"Yes!" he cried out almost in agony, his eyes squeezed shut and panting.

I pulled my hands away completely and placed them just below my breasts. His eyes flew open and landed on me, and I could see his panic as he wondered why I had stopped. While I knew I had his complete and undivided attention, I ran my hands up and down my body, pressing my breasts and biting my lip as I brushed over my own nipples. I could see the muscles in his jaw twitch as he watched me. Then I let my right hand travel downward. I slipped a finger into myself and gasped mixed with a light giggle of pleasure. I inwardly grinned when I saw his entire body tense at what I had done. I decided I would stop being cruel and finish what I was saying. "Would you do me a favor tonight?" I asked him breathily, making myself sound as airy as I could manage.

He swallowed roughly and nodded, licking his lips. "Anything!"

I looked at him through my lashes and crawled over him, sitting just above his groin, letting him feel everything that had built up. His muscles twitched in his jaw again. I placed my hands on each of his pecks before leaning down and whispering into his ear. "Whatever you do, don't let me forget this night…ever."

Then I saw him grin darkly. "Oh, that you won't have to worry about." He picked me up and threw me back down, climbing on top of me. I gasped loudly as he slid a finger into me, thrusting it in and out. His free hand grabbed one of my breasts and massaged it roughly, just roughly enough to make my heart race. I cried out when he slipped in another finger, and then another as he leaned down and took a nipple into his mouth, lapping his tongue over it like a hungry hound. I was shaking violently and whimpering when he picked me up and turned me around. I thought he was about to put me on my hands and knees so I got ready to muster enough strength to hold myself, but I was wrong. Instead I felt him lower me on top of his lap with my back resting against his chest. And then he lowered me right on top of his now throbbing cock, and I cried weakly when I felt it slide into me. I was sitting so that my knees were on the mattress on either side of him, so I rose until I felt the tip slide to my opening before lowering myself again. Caspian cried behind me and grabbed my waist, moving me up and down in the rhythm he preferred. I bucked up and down while he moved me, and I began bouncing so much that my breasts jumped with each bounce. Once I was able to maintain his rhythm on my own, his hands left my waist and found my breasts, massaging them as I continued to bounce.

I couldn't breathe.

Everything in my body was tight, and I felt like something could snap at any given moment. We were both whimpering and crying out, and I knew that neither of us would last for much longer. Then the coil in me snapped and I felt myself give way. I cried out one last time before collapsing back against Caspian, and the new angle along with my climax brought on his own. He gently lowered us down to the bed, where we laid there, looking at each other through half lidded eyes and panting heavily.

He was laying on his side and staring at me as if he had claimed me for his own. He took my waist and pulled me against him, kissing me passionately before pulling away, speaking against my lips. "Was that unforgettable enough for you?" he asked huskily, sucking on my bottom lip as my mind spun.

But I was still feeling wicked.

"Hmm, I just don't know," I pulled away so that my breath brushed over his lips as I replied. "I'm not sure that is enough to keep me up at night. I need something that will at least keep me in ecstasy for more than one night."

His eyes narrowed and his lips curled into a smirk before he rolled me over onto my back again. I watched in anticipation as he slid down my body, but got confused when he sat at the edge of the bed. "What are you…" I was in the middle of asking when he took my knees and drug me down so that my ass hung on the edge of the bed. And as I watched him part my legs it dawned on me what he was about to do. I watched his face disappear between my legs and I yelped in surprised delight when I felt his lips trill against my labia. Then his tongue slipped in and I felt my breathing increase as it swam through me. My knees locked around his neck as I tried to force him further in, and his brows furrowed as he grabbed my hips, pulling me closer, which took him in deeper. I found my hips dancing with the thrusts of his tongue, and I suddenly needed more. "Casssspian," I hissed, tangling my fingers in his hair. He rewarded me by thrusting his tongue in further. But it still wasn't enough.

I squealed in frustration. "More, Caspian! More."

He removed his tongue and stood up, peering at me over my stomach. "What, is that not enough?"

I shook my head roughly. "Noooo…"

He smirked. "Fine then." He crawled back onto the bed, leaving me panting. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me, so I crawled (to the best of my ability)to his side. "Stand on your knees, and pretend that your knees hate each other," he said, his accent getting thicker with his growing lust. I gulped, spreading my thighs as he told me to. He got up and crawled around me, and I wasn't sure what he was going to do. But then I heard him lying down behind me, and his head appeared beneath me. When I saw him down there I arched a brow, wondering what he was planning to do next. "Alright, now sit."

"Sit? You mean…" I asked, bewildered.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes. Sit." He grabbed my thighs and pulled me down so that I sat on his mouth. And when I felt his tongue dip into me again, I understood why. I almost doubled over, gripping the sheets. I then felt his hands massaging my ass cheeks, and I hissed again. I trembled, and then he hummed into me, his baritone voice causing vibrations that almost left me breathless. I moaned, but the moan turned into a pleading whine at the end. He took that as a sign that I still needed more. His hands left my ass to travel up my body, and I felt him bending me backward. I was now arching backward, which gave me another angle and much more pleasure. Then I realized why he arched me backward. His thumbs brushed over my nipples again and I cried out in surprise. He rolled them between this thumbs and fingers before kneading my breasts. The combination of his torture on my breasts and the swimming routine his tongue was doing inside me sent me spiraling into another climax, and I felt him lap it up greedily. I fell to his side, panting so much that I thought I would faint. I grabbed his bicep and pulled myself to him with all the strength I had. I kissed him, tasting myself on his lips and collapsing against him.

I thought that was it. I was holding onto him for dear life, gasping for air like a fish out of water, with tears streaming down my face. Never had I felt so content with anything as I did with the man holding me. But as he looked dazedly into my eyes, I could still see something sparkling in the chocolate depths of his. He kissed me softly this time, so that his lips felt like feathers against mine. I tried to snuggle into him, but he pulled away, and crawled between my legs again. Even though I was already as content as I could ever be, I smiled up at him. He grabbed my calves and set them on his shoulders before thrusting into me, and I was already so close to being completely spent that it only took a few more thrusts before he sent me flying into a whirlwind of feelings that overwhelmed me to no end. We both screamed each other's names one last time before he collapsed beside me, crawling up to rest beside me on all fours. He fell to my side and looked at me with exhaustion, but I could still see something blazing in his eyes that I knew I would never see again. I felt a tear cascade down my cheek at the undying passion that was dancing in his eyes and he watched it roll. After following it with his eyes, he met my gaze again. He kissed my lips softly again before picking me up and carrying me back to the head of the bed, setting me down and pulling the covers up over me. I was so tired that I could do nothing but turn my head to look at him as I felt myself surrendering to sleep. I felt his lips brush against my forehead as my eyes fell shut, heavy with exhaustion. But what I didn't see after I finally let sleep take me was the fat tear that slid down Caspian's cheek as he wrapped his arms around me, guarding me as I slept.

XX~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dirty scene is over~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~XX

If I had known what he had planned, I never would have allowed myself to go to sleep. If I had known how soon he planned to leave, I would have fought it off to the best of my ability, just to try one last time to persuade him to stay. Because when I awoke the next morning to see that he wasn't at my side, I knew it wasn't because he was tending to his kingly duties. I flew out of the bed, grabbing a handful of my hair as I panicked. A robe was lying in a heap on the floor that I recognized as Caspian's and I threw it around myself since my own clothes were torn from last night. I tied the robe and ran out into the hall, not caring that someone could see me in my inappropriate state.

Propriety could suck it.

I ran right past the study, past the throne room, past the healing wing, all the while earning some very appalled looks from several servants. In none of those places did I see Caspian. I didn't stop running until I reached our room. I stopped outside the door, breathing to hold back my tears as I held my hand over the door knob, not knowing what I would do if I didn't see him in the room. With one last steadying breath I threw the door open, not even jumping when it collided loudly with the wall. Caspian was not in the room. I bit down on my lip, feeling the skin break, but I didn't care. I searched the room frantically, looking for a sign. And then I saw the letter.

It was sitting on the edge of our bed, written in a scrawl that could only be his.

My Dearest Raine,

By the time you read this, I am already gone. I hope that you can forgive me for leaving you so soon. You don't know how hard it was for me to leave your side. Leaving you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I only hope that losing me won't hurt you as much as losing you nearly killed me.

Don't grieve for me, because I don't want you to. I know it will be hard to cope with knowing I am no longer with you, but know that I will have died the happiest man in this world. And that is because of you, Querida. You saved me when you came back. You picked up the broken pieces of what I used to be and put them back together, making me whole once again with your unwavering love.

Continue on, Raine. Continue on, not just for me…but for Narnia. They need a queen, and there's no one better than you. Don't dwell on my death forever, because you deserve every bit of happiness that you can find in this world. Find someone who can love you as much as I do, and have the family that I wish I could have given you myself.

Don't hate yourself for crying, Querida. There's nothing wrong with crying, but don't do it too much. If you feel you've been crying for too long, think of me and smile. If you start to ache from frowning, remember our moments together and laugh. Sing, Querida. Sing until the sun sets, and then settle down with a lullaby. And most of all, don't forget to love.

Tell our friends goodbye for me. Try to find an easy way to break it to them that I won't be back…it will be tough for Neron especially. He has always seemed like a son to me, even though he wasn't.

Now comes the hardest part…telling you goodbye. It was something I swore I would never do again. And it's for that very reason that I won't. Instead of goodbye, I'm going to say that I'll see you again one day, when you've done all you can for this world and Aslan sends you to me once again. I love you Raine, more than my very life. Never forget that. I will protect you still, watching you from wherever I may rest.

Your Love Forever,

Caspian

I fell to the floor, not even caring if I hurt myself. The agonizing scream that ripped itself from my throat echoed through the room and traveled down the hall, but I didn't care who it disturbed. I laid there, sprawled on the floor on my stomach, Caspian's robe pooled around me. This was where Audra found me before screaming almost as loudly as I had, calling help from every corner of the castle.

A/N

Alright, well I'm really not sure what to expect from you guys. I'm surprised with myself for even writing a chapter like this, and I debated even posting it. I look forward to seeing what you guys think.

Peace,

Rhythmic5