By Leash

I do not own any of this cause I'm not cool like that.

A/N: This was written in about an hour so there may be mistakes. Feel free to let me know what they are. Thanks!

Cloud had never been able to express his feelings. Not ever. First there was Tifa. He had, and still does for that fact, really loved her, but has never been able to tell her. He had been considered an outcast among his peers and adults in Nibelheim. So he left. He left in hopes of becoming a person that Tifa would not look down upon when he finally told her that he loved her, but that just didn't happen.

When he got to Midgar, everything was different, and nothing went as planned. He knew that he was small, but he did not know how small. He tried his best to be brave in the face of the bullies and tried to fight back, but in the end, nothing worked. When he went to the higher ups for help, they just ignored a small, lowly trooper. Cloud soon realized that he had to just bottle all of his fears up and pretend that they did not exist.

Cloud had always looked up to the General. He was respected by everyone, and they all loved him. Cloud would lie in his bunk at night dreaming of being like that. Dream of people looking up to him because he was strong and powerful. Many had said that he was obsessed with the man, but he did not care. There were many nights that Sephiroth would enter Cloud's dreams, and Cloud would be able to be right there. In his arms and everything. Touching and tasting and being loved by the most powerful man in the world, but he would never be able to get close enough to let that man know.

Then he met Zack.

Zack Fair, in Cloud's humble opinion, was the best person in the world. He was tall and brave and strong and yet, oh so kind. When Cloud had been with him on that mission to Modeoheim, Cloud had enjoyed it, and when Zack came back, with blood running down his face, Cloud's heart broke and he decided that Angeal was nowhere good enough for a person like Zack, and that he would do all he could to help him, but he was never able to. The only other time Cloud saw Zack was when he was deployed to Junon and was airsick, Zack helped him, and then Cloud had to bury those feelings as well, because Nibelheim happened.

Cloud was sitting in the back of the truck with Zack and The General. SOLDIER First Class Zack Fair and The Silver General, Sephiroth, and he were going back to Tifa. Cloud felt as if he were a volcano about to erupt from all of the pressure of his hidden emotions wanting to spew forth from him. He could just feel his resolve cracking, and it would have broken through soon too. All of it would have been out in the open, if not for Sephiroth.

Yet, even after all of that, Cloud could still not let people know what he was feeling.

Sure, being in the care of Hojo, one would think that if it hurt that you should scream, but that was not the case. If you screamed, they only hurt you more, and yet again, Cloud had to withdraw, but this time he went a little too far and withdrew more than just his emotions.

And now, descending into the crater to fight and kill a man he more than looked up to, Cloud had to hide all of his fears. He had to be that brave and strong and powerful person that he had always wanted to be, but no longer wanted. Now he just wanted to hide. He did not want to face the man that took everything from him, and he did not want to remember all that he has forgotten. He just wanted to go and be the same old Cloud he has always been, but he had to suck it up and bury those feelings too. There is no turning back now.

End.