Shattered Mirror

By

Lewis M. Brooks, III

Chapter 4 – Heart's Desire

Professor Dumbledore's study looked a lot like the Headmaster's Office at Hogwarts. There was a large claw-footed desk, and shelves of books lined the walls. A suit of armor stood in the corner. There was a fireplace with a mantle above it, with a clock identical to the one downstairs upon it. Harry was sure the large empty portrait above the fireplace belonged to Ariana Dumbledore.

There was a couch and a few chairs in the room. Several large windows looked out over the front lawn and the ocean beyond, and another overlooked the backyard. In the corner was something large that was covered with a sheet. There was a large golden perch beside the desk, upon which sat a large bird with scarlet and gold feathers.

"Hello, Fawkes," said Harry with a slight smile, as he walked over to the perch. "Have you been here all alone all this time?"

Fawkes looked at Harry and made some soft noises. Harry stroked his feathers. He thought Fawkes looked sad.

"You miss him too, don't you?" asked Harry softly. He could see the answer in the phoenix's eyes. "Well, I guess I'm your master now. I hope that's all right with you." Fawkes spread his wings and leapt from the perch, landing gracefully on Harry's shoulder. "I guess I'll take that as a yes."

Harry walked over to the window and saw Hermione pacing nervously beside the white picket fence again.

Harry sighed and walked to the large sheet covered item in the corner. He pulled the sheet off and as he expected, before him stood the claw-footed, ornate gold frame containing the Mirror of Erised.

Harry turned away from the mirror and took a deep breath. He walked a few feet away and stood with his back to it. He had always wondered what Professor Dumbledore had done with it.

As much as he wanted to, Harry would never have sought out the magic mirror. Professor Dumbledore had asked him not to. However, Dumbledore had practically led him right to it, and Harry was sure that the fate that his professor had once warned him about would be his own. He would welcome it.

Harry knew who he would see when he looked into the Mirror of Erised. It was who he needed to see, whom he had wanted to see for the past two weeks, and for so much longer than that. It was whom he would gladly stare at for the rest of his days.

Harry knew very well what Professor Dumbledore was asking him to do in the letter. Harry was sure that Professor Dumbledore was wrong. He could never be strong enough to do it. He would never do it.

Harry turned and looked into the Mirror of Erised. He gasped. Harry wasn't at all prepared for what he saw.

All his family that he had seen years ago, including his parents, were still there. Cedric, Sirius, Professor Dumbledore, Mad-Eye Moody, Hedwig, Dobby, Professor Snape, Colin, Fred, Tonks, and Remus were all there with them. None of them had caused him to gasp.

The dead weren't standing around him. They were in the background. Around him stood the Weasleys, Hagrid, Professor McGonagall, Luna, and Neville. Ron and Hermione stood at his sides, each with a hand on one of his shoulders. Ginny stood with her arms around him, looking up at him and smiling.

Harry stared open mouthed at the Mirror of Erised. What did this mean?

Harry had spent two weeks thinking about the dead and about how much he had hurt the living. He didn't feel that he deserved the love that Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and the others felt for him. He was sure he belonged among the dead. He was sure that was where he truly wanted to be.

Harry knew the Mirror of Erised didn't lie. He could still hear Professor Dumbledore's words. 'It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts.' Harry knew what a fool he had been.

Harry smiled. It might have been the first time he had really smiled since Voldemort's defeat. He knew what he had to do.

Harry looked at the faces of all the people he had lost standing in the background behind him one last time. He saw Professor Dumbledore smile and nod. Harry drew his wand and pointed it at the mirror.

"Reducto!"

When the spell hit the mirror, it shattered, along with the silence of the house. Magical energy cracked in the air. It was so loud that it sounded like a bomb had gone off. The pieces of mirror and frame crashed to the ground loudly. Fawkes was startled by the noise and flew from Harry's shoulder, landing gracefully on the perch beside the desk.

A moment later, Harry could hear someone running up the stairs, screaming his name. It wasn't hard to figure out who it was.

"Harry!" came Hermione's fearful voice as she hurtled through the study door. She saw her best friend and practically leapt on top of him, throwing her arms around his neck and holding on for dear life. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," assured Harry softly as he hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"What happened?" asked Hermione as she continued to hold on to him.

"It's a very long story," replied Harry with a smile. "I'm all right though…really. I was just taking care of some unfinished business."

Hermione held on for a few more moments. She was trying to catch her breath and she was shaking like a leaf. After a few moments, she began to sob on his shoulder.

"I'm so scared, Harry," squeaked Hermione through her tears. "I love you so much. You're my best friend, and I can't imagine my life without you. I feel like you're slipping away from us. It hurts us all to see you in so much pain. You don't need to suffer through it alone."

"I'm really sorry," said Harry, as he pulled back from her and gently brushed away her tears. He smiled at her, kissed her forehead, and hugged her tightly again. "You're right. I was slipping away. I didn't mean to shut you out. I just…didn't think I deserved you all. I was being a real prat."

"Yeah, you were," insisted Hermione with a smile as she pulled back from him. "Will you talk to us? Will you let us help you through what you're feeling?"

"Yeah," said Harry with a nod. "I will."

"Good," declared Hermione. "You can start by telling me what's going on." Hermione looked quizzically over Harry's shoulder. "Is that Fawkes?"

"Come on," said Harry with a smile. "I'll explain everything."

Harry and Hermione went into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. He showed her the photograph of his parents' wedding and Professor Dumbledore's letter, being careful not to let her see what else was in the mokeskin pouch. He told her about destroying the Mirror of Erised. He left out what he had seen in the mirror.

"I'm sorry I've been so distant lately," sighed Harry as he shook his head. "I feel so guilty. You've all suffered because of me. So many people have died because of me. I didn't feel like I deserved having you care about me. I'm really sorry."

"Don't be sorry," asserted Hermione as she took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Just as long as you realize that you were wrong. We're all here for you. Everyone will be relieved to see you smile again."

"Me too," agreed Harry with a smile. "We can have dinner before we head back. This summer, maybe we can get everyone to come here for a while. I think we could all use a nice long holiday."

"No argument here," remarked Hermione with a smile. "Ron and I should only be in Australia for a week. Will you be all right until we get back?"

"Sure," said Harry. "Do you think Professor McGonagall would let me visit Ginny for a few days? I really need to talk to her."

Hermione laughed. "I think you can probably convince her," replied Hermione. "If she gives you a hard time, I'm sure Kingsley can convince her. Just make sure you take your cloak…for when you aren't just talking to Ginny."

Harry blushed but couldn't hide a grin. "Yeah, I'll do that," said Harry. Harry reached up and grabbed the mokeskin pouch. He took a deep breath and then lifted the string up over his head. He held the pouch in his hand and just looked at it for a moment.

"What exactly do you have in there, Harry?" inquired Hermione curiously.

"Just some stuff," responded Harry. He smiled and pulled open the drawer of the nightstand. He gently set the mokeskin pouch inside, and then closed the drawer. "Nothing I need to carry around…not anymore."

"Fawkes," called Harry as he and Hermione stood. A moment later, Fawkes flew into the bedroom and perched on Harry's shoulder. Hermione took Harry's hand.

"Harry, what exactly did you see in the Mirror of Erised?" asked Hermione, as they headed toward the stairs. "You never told me."

"I saw the deepest, most desperate desire of my heart," said Harry as he gave Hermione's hand a squeeze. "It was right in front of me all the time…I just needed to be reminded."

THE END

A/N: "It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts," is a direct quote from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Please review!