This is a just a oneshot to a song I hear all the time on my mp3 and a story always pops into my head. I wrote it just to relax from my other story. The First We Met which I wrote 27 pages for in one chapter. Hope you enjoy it. Review and Enjoy! The song is Insensitive by Jann Arden.
He pulled up to curb, screeching to a stop and she turned to him in surprise. The goodnight kiss was barely a brush of lips before he pulled back, his icy blue eyes shuttered to her gaze.
"I'll see you." He said with an emotionless tone that had her heart clenching, before he turned his head back to the road. She nodded wordlessly and started to get out of his blue Viper, hoping he would stop her with kinder words, but he said nothing else, barely noticing her movement and pealing off as soon as she was out of the way. She watched the blur with overwhelming fear and confusion as the car disappeared around the corner.
The whole night had been awful. The sex had been clinical, even though her body still responded to his and he had gotten up as soon as he had finished, leaving her there to stare at his retreating back. When he came out of the bathroom he was already dressed, his eyes not even meeting hers.
"I should get you home. I have an early morning tomorrow." He said, not asking her to stay, not that he ever had before either.
.
.
Her blond sister came home to see her sitting on the couch, knees drawn up against her chest with her arms around them, rocking back and forth, mascara stains making track marks down her cheeks.
"Hey what's wrong?" Her sister asked in concern taking in the sadness emanating from her.
"I don't think he wants to be with me anymore." She sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulder. She leaned her head into the curve of her sister's neck.
"How do you know?"
"I think he might be seeing someone else." She whispered as if saying it too loud would make it true. She did not notice the involuntary flinch of the other girl, too lost in her own grief.
"Oh..." They sat for awhile and then she spoke into the silence again.
"Will you do something for me?" She explained what she wanted from her sister who in turn looked at her askance.
"I..I don't know...he..."
"You're my sister!" She reminded her forcefully. Her sister nodded reluctantly.
"Okay. Wh...What do you want to say?" He was an insensitive jerk without the decency to even break up with her, even though she could tell he wasn't interested anymore. His touch still made her pulse race, but he didn't even seem to notice hers anymore. What had happened? He had been the first man she had loved like this and she had been so happy when he had finally agreed to a date. She had fallen hard and fast and had thought he cared for her too. But...now...he acted as if he had no time for her. How did he turn off his emotions so quickly? How did you simply withdraw from a person you've been intimate with? But hadn't her friends all warned her? He was a player, a serial womanizer and only worried about himself?
"How can he just not feel anything anymore huh? We were so close and then he just..." Tears started to trickle down her splotchy cheeks again and her sister held her as she wept.
She cried on her sister's shoulder that night, begging her to stay in her room with her and she did, working on her promise. Her sister felt trapped and guilty and this was the one thing she could do for her. Her sister wanted to hate the man who had hurt her, but she wasn't entirely blameless either so she did what she could to ease the pain.
.
He watched her anxiously through the glass. She had said she had a new song to record, but she had seemed distant and on edge. He didn't even notice Sadie's presence as she entered the room, his eyes too focused on her sister who started to sing in the sound booth. Sadie had wanted to watch him listen to her song, or rather the song Jude had written for her, to see if he cared at all how much he had hurt her. But instead he was too busy staring at her little sister. Their eyes were caught as she started to sing and confusion and denial raced through his mind.
How do you cool your lips
After a summers kiss
How do you rid the sweat
After the body bliss
How do you turn your eyes
From the romantic glare
How do you block the sound
Of a voice you'd know anywhere
He would never...Not to her, never to her...She was too important and he could never imagine not wanting her, needing her or being able to forget her.
"No..." He said to himself, causing Sadie to jump. She was surprised to see the tears streaming down her sister's cheeks and sensed they were not in sympathy for what he had done to her. Jude finally looked up again and saw Sadie standing in the doorway behind Tommy who was still oblivious. He followed her gaze and saw her there, still as a statue frozen in place as she read the expressions playing across his face. The only one she recognized was guilt and it was a mere flicker compared to the others. He whipped his head back to the glass as if seeing her could make the words clearer.
Oh, I really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual good-byes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be
Insensitive
She had seen everything in those pale blue eyes, a look she had never received, but was given freely to her baby sister. They weren't distant, but alive with the deepest...What? Passion, need, tenderness? Yes all of that and more, so much more she had never understood between them. His heart had not grown cold towards her. She had never for one second owned it. The owner was in the other room, still singing through her tears. And she saw his fight to stay here with her or go where he really wanted to be. But there was one thing she had learned about Tommy Quincy. He did what he wanted and had only ever had regard for one person and that person had never been she. He looked back at her once and turned his head away again, sending her the message she had been expecting.
How do you numb your skin
After the warmest touch
How do you slow your blood
After the body rush
How do you free your soul
After you've found a friend
How do you teach your heart
It's a crime to fall in love again
The words had decided it for him, because it simply hurt to hear coming from her lips. He stood up as she could only watch and made his way into the other room, sweeping her sister into his arms as she had always longed for him to do with her. But he had never been the white knight she had idealized him as, instead flawed, but beautiful and broken. And her sister loved him not in spite of his mistakes, but simply loved, with a purity that Sadie could not hope to match. How could she compete with that?
She watched with tears in her own eyes as he brushed away the other tears and cupped her cheek in his hands. And she turned away, unable to look at them, at betrayal. She did not remember walking out the door, but when they finally looked later on she was gone, but not before she heard what she needed to. He had not closed the door behind him when he had rushed to Jude.
Oh, you probably won't remember me
It's probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have
Some advice to give on how to be
Insensitive
"What do you want to say?"
"I want him to know how it feels to be disregarded like I don't mean anything. He only cares about himself." Jude nodded slowly as she jotted down some notes. Did he really only care about himself? She didn't believe it, did she? She could do this, even though it would break her heart too. She looked at her sister still so lovely even after all the crying. If Sadie couldn't keep him, who could? She was perfect and he had been able to let her go like she was yesterday's news.
Tommy went to his knees with her as she crumpled onto the sound booth rug, sobbing so hard he could only hold her helplessly. He rubbed small circles on her back restlessly, trying to calm her down.Oh, I really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual good-byes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be
Insensitive
(How to be)
Insensitive
"How long?" She asked brokenly in barely a whisper.
"How long what? You're not making sense." He asked in confusion and hated the feeling of helplessness overtaking him.
"How long before it's me?" He still did not understand as her watery blue gaze found his. "How long before that song's about me?" Understanding dawned and horror struck him.
"Never! Jude no...!"
"I'm just another girl Tommy...How is this any different than all the ones before me?" Once upon a time he had been proud of all the women he had had, but now he regretted every nameless face he had ever touched, especially the last one, the one meant to be a substitute for the one who he had been afraid to go after. He clamped his hands on her cheeks forcing her to look into his eyes.
"Because I never loved any of them." She sucked in a ragged breath and couldn't speak and by the time she could he was kissing her so deeply she thought she would die from oxygen deprivation. She gasped for air as he let her go. "Only you Jude."
"Promise me." He laughed humorlessly and he wondered that her waterlogged eyes could darken to anger that easily. He could tell she was about to get up and move away from him, but held her tighter so she could not go.
"Don't you get it Harrison? I have tried to let you go for both our sakes and it never worked for a second. Never!"
"But..."
"I love you Jude. What else do you need to hear?" And her answer echoed in her brain. Nothing.
"I love you Quincy." She murmured a little shyly, looking at him through her tear clumped lashes. And he kissed her again the way he had the other night when they had finally given in to what they had both wanted and his touch burned where his hand rested on the small of her back. He wasn't cold, not cold at all. And his eyes were ablaze as he looked down at her tear streaked face. She could never imagine him gazing at her in any other way, hunger, tenderness, exasperation and love, clear in his light eyes. And there was her answer, in his eyes and in his gentle touch. Her Tommy could never be that guy in the song. Because she had always seen him and that was one of the reasons he loved her.
(How to be) Insensitive