Disclaimer: My name is not J.K. Rowling, therefore I don't own Harry Potter. But I'm sure you already knew that.

WARNINGS: SLASH (Harry/Draco), Language

Why to Piss Off a House-elf - by Jasmine Roselee

Lying on his stomach in silvery pyjamas, Draco Malfoy frowned while he read. A pale hand reached out and turned the page of the book that was propped up on a silver and green pillow. Scratching the top of his head, light blond hair fell into the boy's face. Shaking the strands out of his eyes, the Slytherin glanced at the clock he'd placed next to him on the four-poster.

2.30am, damn it, he thought as he realised he'd stayed awake reading longer than usual. Without warning a rather loud and animalistic rumble resonated from his stomach. Grimacing, Draco placed a hand on his complaining tummy. Glancing again at the clock, he came to an apparent decision and sat up, bookmarking his page. Quietly, he drew back the curtains concealing his bed which he'd placed a silencing charm on. Feet hit the cold floor as Draco quickly located a pair of thick socks and pulled them on. Moving as stealthily as a cat he made sure not to wake his room mates as he made his way to the door. Passing from his warm dormitory, to the cool common room and finally out into the chilly dungeons, the Slytherin regretted not taking a jumper. In no mood to head back however, Draco proceeded down the corridor towards the upper floor where he'd find the passage that led to the kitchens.

The blonde silently thanked Salazar Slytherin for having had enough brains to place the Slytherin rooms so close to the kitchens. Draco smirked to himself. As an added bonus, teachers didn't regularly patrol this part of the school so he was unlikely to be caught. As he made his way silently down the hall, arms wrapped around himself, Draco's thoughts wandered to other possible rule breakers such as himself. Unconsciously, his thoughts strayed to one particular person.

Wonder if Potter's up and about, Draco smirked again as he remembered the time he'd caught the Gryffindor and his friends in first year. Granted, the detention in the forest had been far from fun, but the look on Potter's face had been priceless. Malfoy's thoughts again wandered to the brunette, now much more attractive that he had been in first year, though Draco would be caught dead before admitting it.

Imagine if I caught Potter again! He smirked before quickly shaking his head in frustration, refusing to allow his thoughts to stray to him, the Gryffindor, and some secluded dark alcove.

Get a grip on yourself! What the hell do you keep thinking about Potter for? Sneering at himself, Draco tickled the pear in front of him, his musings having carried him to the kitchens.

Entering the vast Hogwarts kitchens brought a smile to the student's brooding face.

He sighed in content; here he would satisfy his grumbling stomach. As it was a rather indecent hour, no house-elves scurried through the room as they normally did, so Draco set out to find some chocolate to placate himself.

Opening a few random draws, the Slytherin made his way across the side wall, vainly looking for some cocoa-y goodness but finding none. Turning around, he started as he noticed a small being standing, hands on hips, in front of an expansive pantry across the room.

"Who are you?" the house-elf squeaked in what sounded to Draco like a reprimanding tone.

He raised a slanted eyebrow.

"My name is Draco Malfoy," he said imperiously.

"You are not meant to be out of bed at this hour," said the elf shrilly.

Draco raised another eyebrow. Since when did house-elves not want to serve anyone and everyone, whatever the time?

Malfoy sneered at the elf in response. "Get me some chocolate."

The elf narrowed its eyes in rather unhouse-elf-like behaviour. "Mister Malfoy has to go to bed now," it squeaked. "Reechy is not permitted to give Mister Malfoy chocolate after hours."

Draco gave it an incredulous look. What the hell was going on? He had never met such a stubborn house-elf. One who refused to serve him? Was the world coming to an end?

Before he could reply, Reechy pointed at the door. "I do not want to be telling Master Dumbledore about you. You must leave now."

The Slytherin glared at the elf, unnerved by its odd behaviour.

"I'm not going anywhere, thankyouverymuch, until I have my chocolate. Go and get it."

The elf, rather uncharacteristically, gave Draco a dangerous look. The blond was completely baffled. A house-elf was glaring at him?

"You should be learning some manners from Harry Potter," Reechy squeaked unexpectedly.

Draco blinked at the mention of the boy's name.

Unable to come up with an appropriate reply, he again glared at the elf, taking a step forward. "I want chocolate. Bring it to me or you wish that you were never born!"

As the elf's eyes narrowed, Draco felt that he may have possibly gone a bit too far. He probably should have left the unnatural house-elf be.

Before he could backtrack and get himself out of the trouble he's undoubtedly caused however, Reechy snapped his fingers. A second later, Draco saw nothing but black.

Harry Potter woke in the middle of the night to the sound of a person swearing and stumbling around the sixth year boys' dormitory.

"Shit," said the figure as it stubbed its toe on the end of a trunk.

"Ron? Is that you?" asked a bleary-eyed Harry, putting on his glasses. As his vision focused, he saw the figure freeze at the sound of his voice.

"Fuck!" said the person with feeling.

It was Harry's turn to freeze. He would know that disdainful voice anywhere - even in the most unlikely of places.

"Malfoy?" he asked incredulously, sitting bolt upright.

"Yes, Potter, Malfoy," spat the blonde haired Slytherin.

"What the hell are you doing here?" asked Harry in shock. He grabbed his wand from his bedside table, just in case.

"How the hell would I know?" said Draco as he stopped stumbling in the darkness and stood next to one of the beds.

Harry waved his wand at the lantern near the door, lighting it, and gave Draco a sceptical look.

"You are in Gryffindor Tower, and you have no idea what you're doing here? How the hell did you get the password?"

Draco gave Harry an irritated look. "I told you, idiot. I don't know how I got here. Why the fuck would I want to come and visit you bloody Gryffindors anyway?"

Harry glared at him. "Well, you're the one who woke me up, so start explaining," he said, irritated.

Draco shot him an icy look.

After a moments glaring, the Slytherin finally relented. "I was in the kitchens, and suddenly I found myself here," he shot at the black haired boy. "Happy now?"

"What the hell did you do?" asked Harry from his bed.

Draco flushed and glared at him, swearing under his breath. Harry just stared back, raising an eyebrow.

"I pissed off a house-elf," the blonde said finally.

"What!?"

"I fucking pissed off a house-elf, OK!?" glared Draco.

Harry sniggered. "You actually managed to piss a house-elf off so much that it banished you to Gryffindor tower? What the hell did you do?" he repeated his earlier question.

Draco glared at him some more before looking away. "I threatened it."

Harry laughed. "So it banished you?"

Draco's glaring was beginning to become quite repetitive. "I guess I caught it in a bad mood. It was one fucking weird elf."

"I'd say," Harry muttered.

After a second of looking at each other, Harry suddenly blinked. "Wait, what the hell are you still doing here? Get out," he said, pointing at the door.

Draco gave him a reproachful look. "You think I'd spend any more time in your company than I already had to?" he ignored the look Harry shot him. "I already tried the door. It won't open."

"What the hell are you talking about, Malfoy? Of course it opens!" Harry said, becoming increasingly frustrated. He'd been woken from a really good dream by Malfoy, of all people, and now the git wouldn't leave.

Draco pointed at the door. "Try it yourself, hero-boy."

Harry, very frustrated by now, threw the covers off of himself and went over to the door. He pulled on the door handle. It didn't swing open like it was supposed to. He tried again. Nothing.

"Shit." He continued to rattle the handle. Draco, in the meantime, was admiring Harry's back. The golden boy had gone to sleep without a top on and Draco could see the quidditch player's rippling muscles and tanned skin in the moonlight. He didn't have to like the boy, but he didn't have to deny the fact that his nemesis was incredibly attractive, either. At least to himself.

Leaning back on a bed post, Draco regarded Harry's struggling form in some amusement. "I told you," he said, smirking.

Harry turned around. "Shut up." He proceeded to cast several opening charms on the door, to no avail. Must have been one pissed-off house elf, he thought to himself. But what on Earth did I do to get punished with him?

Giving the door one final pull, Harry stomped back to his bed muttering. As the Gryffindor climbed into bed, Draco was taking in his surroundings fully for the first time.

"Where the hell is everyone?" he asked.

Harry, sitting up in bed, crossed his arms over his chest. "Dean, Seamus, and Neville have all gone home for the holidays.

"And Weasel?" Draco sneered.

Harry glared at him. "He's probably in the common room."

"At this hour?" Draco looked at his watch. "It's half past three in the morning. What did the moron do? Fall asleep on a table?"

Harry deigned not to answer. After some silence, Draco finally pointed at a bed across and a little to the left from Harry's. "Who's is that?"

Harry looked. "Dean's."

Draco gave it the once over, cast a few cleaning charms and finally settled back on the covers. "I don't want to catch any Gryffindor germs," he said as Harry rolled his eyes. "Drama-queen," Draco thought he heard the black-haired boy mutter.

The two fell silent. Harry was fully awake now, so sleep was no option for him. Even if he could have fallen asleep, he would never try it with a sneaky Slytherin in the room.

Harry regarded Draco in the moonlight. The boy's features, although still sharp, appeared somewhat refined in the silvery glow of the moon. He looks… bewitching, thought the Gryffindor.

He blinked and mentally punched himself in the head. How could he think such things? It was disturbing. He'd obviously been drugged or something.

"Quit staring at me, Potter," said Draco suddenly.

Harry blushed at being caught out, but was thankful it was still too dark for Draco to see the colour creeping up his cheeks. He decided not to indulge Draco with a response so he asked, "So, what were you doing in the kitchens?"

"Please don't tell me you're so completely daft you don't know the purpose of a kitchen," said Draco from his side of the room.

Harry rolled his eyes and silence descended again. After a while Harry thought he could feel eyes on him. He glanced at Draco and noticed in surprise that the Slytherin was staring at him, just as he had been doing to the boy earlier.

Draco hadn't realized yet that Harry had noticed him, so the Gryffindor decided to indulge Malfoy a little and smirked to himself, keeping quiet.

The Slytherin's eyes had wandered back to Harry when the silence had fallen and he couldn't seem to keep his eyes away. The moonlight threw some of the Gryffindor's features into sharp detail, and threw other parts into shadow. The effect as a whole was quite appealing and Draco cursed himself quietly for being unable to quench the unreasonable feelings rising inside him for the black haired boy.

"Quit staring at me, Malfoy," said Harry, smirking again. Draco felt a pang of irritation at the fact that Harry looked quite good when he stole and used his trademark look. He scowled at the black-haired boy, his annoyance doubled.

"Shut up, Potter."

Harry grinned. "Oh, I know you think I'm brilliantly good looking, just admit it Malfoy."

"You're delusional,' he said, grinding his teeth silently in frustration.

"Am I?" Harry, on a role now and enjoying himself despite his company, grinned again. "Everyone wants a bit of me, even the great Draco Malfoy. You'll just have to line up and wait, I'm afraid."

Draco rolled his eyes and glared at him. "Potter, I could have you any time I wanted," he drawled.

If Harry had been even a little more sane, he would have noticed Draco's increasing irritation, marked by his slightly twitching jaw. As it was, Harry ploughed straight ahead.

"Well come and get me then," said Harry, flinging back his covers and nonchalantly gesturing to his boxer-ed self. He'd said it in a sarcastic voice; he hadn't been expecting Malfoy to jump on him.

The Slytherin had used Harry's surprise to his advantage, straddling him and gripping both his arms before the black haired boy could move. Malfoy had both Harry's hands pinned down next to his head and the boy could do nothing to get himself out of his predicament. Even if he could have, he didn't particular want to get out of it.

The two boys stared at each other, both surprised at the situation they were in; Malfoy surprised at his own actions and Harry at the fact that the blonde had actually initiated them.

Still staring into those silvery blue eyes, Harry whispered "Draco." The use of his first name made something click in Malfoy's head and suddenly their lips were crushed together, moving in a forceful passionate dance.

Harry had arched his head up as best he could with his arms still either side of it and growled against Malfoy's mouth. He took the opportunity of Draco's slightly parted lips to slip his tongue inside the Slytherin's mouth, feeling and exploring. Draco gasped against him, and responded eagerly, joining Harry in their battle of tongues.

The heat and energy of their kiss had caused them to meld together; Draco had released Harry's arms, his hands now in the dishevelled black hair and cupping his jaw. Harry's hands, now free, were gripping Draco's hips as the boys continued their passionate embrace, gasping and moaning. They pulled away for a second, gasping for air before their mouths sought each other out again. Harry streamed kisses down Malfoy's jaw and his neck before returning again to the Slytherin's mouth and nipping his bottom lip hard. Draco gasped and an uncontrollable urge to push into Harry caused his hips to ram forward. The Gryffindor moaned loudly, his eyes rolling back in pleasure and thrust back, making Draco groan in response.

Bruised and swollen lips found each other again and resumed their battle with new intensity as the boys rocked, pushing against each other. Draco, through his foggy mind, registered hands on his chest, quickly unbuttoning his silk shirt and slipping it off his back. He, in turn, ran his hands over Harry's bare chest as the black haired boy thrust upwards again, rendering Draco senseless for a few moments.

As his mind cleared a tiny bit, Draco felt the need to pursue a more evil course of action. His lips still on Harry's, the Slytherin traced his hands over the boy's toned chest and continued south, slipped both thumbs past the waistbands of Harry's boxers and tugged downwards. The Gryffindor gasped violently, his surprise and elation thrusting him upwards once more and Draco smiled wickedly against his mouth. They continued rocking against each other for a few moments more, rubbing against the other, before Draco, through the murky haze in his mind, felt Harry's hands linger over the waistband of his own pyjama pants before slipping past to slide against Draco's cock. Draco gave an involuntary shudder of delight and thought bastard, as he felt the Gryffindor smile his own wicked smile against Draco's lips.

Their thrusts were beginning to become more feverish, their moans and groans more uncontrollable. Their lips continued to meld together in a fierce fiery battle, randomly coming apart as the boy's groaned, gasped, moaned, whispered or threw their heads back in an uncontrollable display of pleasure. Their hands - even in their awkward position - continued to slide up and down, faster and faster until before long they were arching, and pumping and thrusting into each other wildly before among groans of irrepressible pleasure and shouting out the other's names, they came, shuddering and collapsing onto each other.

They didn't have the energy to magic away the mess, and sprawled on Harry Potter's bed, he and Draco Malfoy, fell into an exhausted but wonderful sleep.

"Potter."

Harry sat bolt upright at the sound of the whispered voice. He should not be waking up to the sound of Draco Malfoy's voice. This thought had blasted through his head before recollections of the last few hours had their turn in romping through his brain.

He looked at the Slytherin next to him and blushed at his shirtless form. Draco, he was surprised to see, was a little flushed too.

"Potter," Draco repeated. "I think I should try to get back to my dormitory. We don't want people to catch us here, and Weasely might decide to come sleep up here instead of on the table soon."

Harry nodded, noticing that the sky outside the window was slightly lighter even though both boys had only been asleep for a couple of hours. He also noticed that although their limbs were still tangled together, Draco had taken the liberty of cleaning them up a bit. Harry blushed again and attempted to get out of his comfortable position, Draco doing the same.

They were quiet as Draco pulled on his shirt and Harry picked up his duvet that had fallen on the floor. Neither knew what really to say. After such a monumental event occurring, they couldn't, quite obviously, ignore it and go on pretending that nothing ever happened. The thing was, it had all happened so spontaneously and in the heat of the moment. They weren't sure if the other wanted to pursue anything afterwards; and while both did, they weren't aware that they both shared similar feelings.

They crossed the dorm and stopped near the door.

"You won't get caught?" asked Harry.

"Of course not, Potter," Draco smiled wickedly and Harry's heart fluttered. "I'm a Prefect."

The blonde turned to the door; instinctively knowing it wouldn't still be locked, and pulled it open. Before he could get further outside the room, Harry caught his arm and pulled him around to face him.

"You know, you should piss off house-elves more often," said the Gryffindor.

Draco grinned at him, and stepped towards the brunette catching his mouth with his and moving his lips over the boy's in a somewhat gentler imitation of a few hours previously. When he pulled away, Harry's lips were stinging.

"I intend to, Harry," said Draco, giving the boy a heated look before turning and leaving the room.

A/N: Hope you liked it! I've just realized that this is my first fanfic that hasn't been Marauder Era related. Wow.

Anyway, let me know what you thought. I can't actually remember whether this has been beta-ed since I last fixed it up, but it's been in my finished folder for so long that I decided to just post it. I apologize for any mistakes, grammatical or otherwise. All are of my own doing.

Reviews are love!