This is based on Rltsweetie's Ugly Betty Land vs California series and characters; it is ultimately a story revolving around Gio and Betty as much as anybody and so qualifies as an Ugly Betty fanfic. It's stream-of-consciousness with virtually no editing, so very different from my other fanfic.

Chapter 1
~ A Convocation of Rossis ~

"Oh my god, I can't believe we still haven't had our babies, B!" cried Livia.

"Yes, you two are more roly-poly than ever," exclaimed Fabiano. "In addition to each of you carrying a double load, what with twins, you both have had the most humongous food cravings of any pregnant women ever. And not just in the first trimester, either, but all the way through your pregnancies! Poor Tino and I are breaking our backs waiting on you hand and foot."

"Well, Fabiano, at least you've been able to perfect your pastele making, what with Beatrice demanding them at all hours every single day," noted Tino. "She is going to owe your pants a heap of loving when she gets back to her old weight and can actually get out of her chair again!"

"You should talk. Livia is big as a barn, thanks to eating those Hawaiian pizzas with ham, pineapple and jalapenos around the clock, but you don't have to make them for her, just order them up from Federico and Elena's pizza business. On the other hand, you better start hoping Livia doesn't feel the need to thank Federico's pants when this is all over."

"Hey, you two guys have to pay somehow," admonished Beatrice. "You cannot imagine how sore Livia's and my insides are right now, just because you two Rossis had to go and make such rambunctious, hyperactive kids to kick around inside of us. By the way, Livia, aren't we supposed to have our babies pretty soon? I could swear nine months has nearly passed."

"Well, I'm just thankful that we're not Christina on Ugly Betty. Did you notice she's still pregnant with the Meade heir and the show is in its seventh season now?" Livia made a disgusted face. "PRIVATE really makes his people do the most awesomely awful things, like carrying a baby 6 years or wearing Patricia Field's clothes. I suppose I shouldn't badmouth him, though, since he's going to be responsible for our going to the hospital in style."

"Yeah, at our baby shower, Livia, you probably shouldn't have punched him for giving us each such a small box for a gift," observed Beatrice.

Livia looked chagrined at the memory. "Well, how was I to know they contained keys for the world's first two hybrid Lexuses? You boys do have those all packed up and ready to speed us off to the hospital at a moment's notice, don't you?"

Tino gave Fabiano a meaningful look, warning his brother by his expression not to let on to the women that their husbands had been out cavorting and drag racing around in their Lexuses while they sat home snacking and watching cable. The two Rossi males had been partners-in-crime since they were twin toddlers together and time had only made them more incorrigible.

Living next door to each other and cooking together every day had brought the brothers closer than ever. And lately they were not only neighbors at home but at work, as well. With all the effort he had to put into keeping his refrigerator and condiment bar stocked and making up salads and spreads and creating delicious new mixtures of flavors and textures, Tino had grown tired of also having to make his own bread for sandwiches and had convinced Fabiano to perfect his baking skills.

Fabiano had gone on to pursue lessons in making rolls, pastries and all kinds of cakes, cookies, pies and tarts and danishes, not to mention tamales, and had ended up opening a bakery next to Livino's Deli. He hoped that one day Beatrice would come to work there at his side, just as Livia did with Tino, but Beatrice was such a successful video-maker that he could not in all conscience ask her to abandon her own career.

Later in the evening, Elena and Federico dropped by to shmooze with the family. "Hi guys," exclaimed Elena, giving each of the chubby ladies a hug, "we just came over to see whether either of our Aunties had popped the cork yet. But nope, I can see you're both just as fat and happy as ever."

"Actually, that's not the only reason we came over," said Federico. "My foxy lady and I were just having an interesting discussion and came up with an inspiration we wanted to let you in on." Here he winked at his wife, the two of them sharing a secretive grin, remembering that the discussion came after a passionate session of lovemaking that afternoon. It was what they did each day instead of drinks before dinner. Afterwards, their limbs entwined with each other, they would kiss and giggle, sifting through the events of the day and the thoughts on each other's minds.

"Is it about something the two of you are thinking of doing together?" asked Fabriano.

"Like maybe having a baby of your own?" added Beatrice.

"Well, no, we are working on that, but that's not what we're talking about now." said Elena.

"Actually, this is something the whole family could do together," added Federico. "You know how grandpa Tomasino—that is, your father, Uncles Tino and Fab—was one of the world's greatest unsung Italian cooks? Have you ever noticed that he passed the cooking gene down to all the succeeding generations of male Rossis?"

"That's true." said Tino. "There's me and my Deli, Fabiano and his bakery and you and the new pizza shop you and your wife invested in with some of that money Rachael gave you Getty ladies for some mysterious reason."

"We were thinking to buy up all the shops along the street where the two of you have your places of business and get the city to rename it Rossi Row. Then each of us guys in the family—with our wives and sweethearts if they want to get involved—could contribute to a community of culinary services. Rossi Row could corner the market on good eating in this region of California!"

"Great idea," declared Tino. "Let's call a family powwow."

Late the next afternoon, all the available Rossis gathered on the patio of the duplex shared by the Rossi uncles and their wives. "Hmmm," mused Tino to Livia, looking at the beatific faces of the men from his family. "We Rossi fellows used to be such the players with women, real dawgs you know, but there's just something about Getty girls that's magical. Now, look at Feddy and Elena snuggling together, Calvino hand-feeding chocolate-covered strawberries to Melissa, Antonino teasing and tickling Lauren, Lanzo macking on Juna, and Valentino with his arms wrapped around Stephanie. Of course, true to form, there's Ontrelle flexing his muscles to impress Christy."

"Well, it seems to be working for him," commented Livia, giving a little wave to Christy, who blushed. "Shall we get this meeting underway? Why don't you go ahead and share your ideas, Federico and Elena?"

Again, Federico outlined the brainstorm that he and his ever-loving wife had hatched, and nobody in the family was less than enthusiastic. Antonino was thrilled at the prospect of running his own ice cream parlor, Valentino had been wanting to establish a coffee shop that would put Starbucks to shame, and even Calvino—the youngster of the family—had been moving ahead making plans for the candy store he would rule someday.

"My dearest inamorata," asked Juna, turning to Lanzo. "I know you've always dreamed of opening a cooking institute to combine your professorial skills with your culinary expertise. Is there any way that could fit into the Rossi family vision?"

"But, indubitably, my pulchritudinous one," responded her lover. "I will open my school right at the end of the street and every year a new covey of students will come through and serve as interns at all the multitudinous Rossi businesses. The students will have the benefit of learning kitchen lore first hand from a whole family of food maestros and the family will save on wages, since interns don't collect a salary."

"Genius!" smiled Juna, wrapping her arms around his neck and, after removing his glasses, bestowing a big kiss on him full on the lips.

"You know what, Ontrelle?" asked Christy. "You were looking for a way you could spend time out at the shore and still make money. Well, here's your answer. You could spend your mornings out there fishing every day, then go for your usual nude swim at noon, and in the afternoons and evenings run your seafood restaurant. And I could help you!" She threw herself into his lap, laughing and covering his face with kisses. "Especially" she whispered low, "with the nude swim part."

"You know the only thing that makes me sad, though?" asked Valentino. He stared around the room at each of his relatives in turn, and each of the men nodded, as their wives and girlfriends looked on, puzzled.

"I know," nodded Antonino.

"Me, too," added Calvino.

"He's been much on my mind, too," said Federico, shaking a small tear from his eye before it could roll down his cheek and embarrass him. He sighed, and at last the name escaped him. "Gio. He loved feeding people so. He would fit perfectly into our Rossi fraternity of wizard chefs."

At this utterance, the ladies present looked around stricken, exchanging guilty glances among themselves which their men never noticed. Finally, Stephanie dared to broach the topic. "You guys never mention Gio. His name hardly arises in conversation. We had no idea he was on your minds so much. After he was such a dawg to Rachael, I thought you were all ashamed of him and pretty much dismissed him from the family."

"Never!" Her own Valentino was looking at her in horror. "Whatever Gio did, he did out of desperation and some day I hope to learn why! Gio was the best of us, the star of the family. We always expected great things of him until he got in the clutches of that Betty who bewitched him for so long."

"Yes," threw in Antonino. "Then he finally escaped Ugly Betty Land, and fell for Rachael and everything seemed to be going his way. He was in love with a wonderful girl, he was a family man, and he was happy. Then somehow he snapped, and the next thing we knew, PRIVATE got back his power over him and dragged him back to where he didn't want to be."

"Hmph," said Beatrice. "I watch Ugly Betty still from time to time and he looks pretty happy now, with his DVDs of his travels all over the world at PRIVATE's expense. Not that I'd ever want to be under PRIVATE's thumb myself. I hate that man!" Here she scowled and formed her hands into claws to show how much she wanted to scratch him. "But still, he's given Gio a pretty cozy life there."

"Sweetheart," whispered Fabiano to her soothingly. "I know it's more comfortable for you to think so, for you probably feel as angry as the rest of us at what happened to Gio and would like to think it didn't hurt him too badly. But we who have known him since childhood can look in his eyes—yes, right through the TV screen—and see the sadness, the emptiness. He is so lost."

Tino nodded and ran a hand carelessly through his wife Livia's hair as her head rested on his shoulder. "We will get to the bottom of this one day, if it takes all our lives. We will find out what happened to Gio and he will be avenged."

The hearts of the eight women present all beat faster in panic as they shot each other guilty looks and crossed their fingers, praying their men would never learn the truth about Gio.

"Hey," young Calvino was jumping up now to claim the spotlight. "We haven't talked about how we're going to pay for all this. You know, all the shops we want to open along Rossi Row."

Federico explained: "Well, each of the couples here, I know, has spent some of the money Rachael gave us—gave the ladies actually—but I'm pretty sure we all have some money left over, too. We thought that the rest of these nest eggs could go into our businesses, if that's all right with the women. I realize it's a lot to ask up front, but in the long run, I'm sure it will be a good investment which every Rossi-Getty match can use to build a life together. I don't think any one of us men have ever understood exactly where Rachael got that money or why she was so generous with all of you that night when we all stood around and saw that Gio was back in Ugly Betty Land. So maybe it's asking too much, I don't know. But would you ladies be interested in sharing the booty (his eyes had inadvertently fallen on his wife's sweet butt)—erm, I mean bounty?"

Little did Fed know that he had picked the perfect moment to ask, for the revelations of just a few minutes before had rendered the Getty girls nearly speechless with guilt. Their men must never discover their roles in the banishment of Gio. One by one each nodded in acquiescence to Federico's suggestion, silently sealing their commitment to the sisterhood of secrecy. Their discomfort was so intense that they were actually glad to hear a loud roaring interrupt the meeting.

"Damn, it's that new neighbor again, mowing his lawn," swore Beatrice. "He does that every godforsaken day. His grass never has time to grow a millimeter, cos he's always out there making such a racket with his mower."

Her husband joined her in annoyance. "The guy knows the lawn doesn't need mowing. He's just there to show off his buff bod. Otherwise he wouldn't think he needed to remove his shirt every time he started in with the lawn work."

Obviously, Livia had a more complacent perspective on the new neighbor. "Oh, I don't mind the shirtlessness so much. He is nice and muscle-y. I was talking to him and he's been through the wringer quite a bit, hopping around in time and whatnot. You all should like him, too, since he seems to be Italian."

"Doesn't look Italian," grumbled her jealous hubby.

"But his name ends in 'O'" pointed out Livia. "Sawyero. Surely that's a paisan of yours."

As the aunties and uncles argued amongst themselves about the assets and liabilities of the new neighbor, Melissa was startled when a hand pulled her to her feet and dragged her around to the front of the house. It was her dearest love, her idol, her fiancé Calvino. "Listen," he said urgently, "I have something to speak to you about. And after the discussion tonight it can't wait any longer!" He was clearly excited, but she couldn't tell whether he was filled with elation or anger. Would this mean the end for them or a whole new phase of their relationship? She wanted to know and yet she was scared. But time would soon tell.