Alright, now this fic is going to get pretty messy in the relationship department, comprende? Think of the O.C crossed with One Tree Hill, crossed with Mr. And Mrs. Smith.... and viola! .........

.........

.......And, yes, I like those shows, okay? God.

So, anyway. It STARTS OUT as NaruSaku, SasuIno, and SasoDei. But it will EVENTUALLY BE YAOI: SasuNaru, InoSaku, and ItaDei. There is also some past hints, or side coupling, or mentioning of; SasuGaa, SasuDei, SasuTema, ShikaTema, and GaaNaru.

Disclaimer: Now...Really. I don't own it. You shouldn't even think that I own it; cause if you do.....damn, that's sad.

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A d u l t e r y .vs. M o n o g a m y

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Naruto Uzumaki was not a feminine man.

No sir-ee, he was a masculine, rugged, scratch his ass in public in a belch loudly in movie theater's kind of guy. He had no manners of any kind, lacked morals and seriously lacked tact, and he tended to make an ass of himself a lot. He liked football, boxing, getting drunk in public – and starting fights while drunk in public, which would unfortunately result in him getting thrown in jail overnight with a hefty fine, because apparently fighting while drunk in public was some sort of crime.

He also had zero understanding for womens feelings, and he didn't have a very healthy hygiene habit. In fact, if it wasn't for the way his girlfriend coxed him into showering with the promise of getting laid, he'd probably never even bathe.

And never mind the fact that he liked chick-flick movies, and ate ice-cream when he got depressed. He was still a very High School Jock kind of guy – as a matter in fact, he was the star of the Soccer team when he was in High School. He had been very stereotypical with his identity then, too. He was a Jock who ate like a cow, dated one of the cheerleaders, and wasn't exactly all that bright. Actually, he still wasn't all that bright, and he still consistently eats like a cow.

As a matter in fact, Naruto Uzumaki hadn't changed a bit since he was 16, even though he'll be turning 23 pretty soon.

But that's not the point. The point is; Naruto Uzumaki was very masculine, and not at all feminine. So, while Sakura - his pretty-in-pink girlfriend whom he's been dating since Sophomore Year - was in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test, he most DEFINENTLY did not stuff his face into a pillow to keep himself from squealing like a 10-year-old girl, because, after all, as previously stated; he wasn't feminine.

Minutes seemed to tick by so slowly that Naruto found his heart began pounding in his ears, beating at least 3 times every second, as though he were a bunny rabbit on crystal meth. He bounced his foot impatiently from where he sat on the bed in their shared room, a very poor attempt to entertain himself; which, he wasn't doing a very good job of.

"Sakuraaaaaaaa!!!!!" He whined like little kid, pounding one of his fists into the overly-soft mattress, because he was just that damn manly. "Are you done yet?! UGH!!! I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER!!!" He stomped his feet against the bottom-frame of the bed, as he fell back during the middle of his impatient hissy-fit. He didn't receive an answer though from behind that closed bathroom door, however, which caused him to whimper and whine a little louder than before. Apparently he thought that the louder he got, the faster his pretty girlfriend might be.

Letting out a pathetic groan, Naruto rolled over on his stomach, lying still for a few moments before kicking his legs against the mattress in frustration. He was obviously very bad when it came to waiting – for anything. In fact, the two of them no longer went out to fancy restaurants together, because when Naruto thought their food was taking to long to be prepared, he deemed it on himself to march back into the kitchen and smack the Chef's on the back with a piece of celery as though it were a whip.

Of course, while Naruto was dragged out of the restaurant kicking and screaming – and in one instance, biting – Sakura merely followed out calmly, her steps careful and thought out. When they'd finally gotten home, Sakura promptly broke Naruto's jaw in a single punch.

Naruto learned his lesson well, because he spent the next 3 weeks with his mouth wired shut, nearly starving to death. It was also incredibly damaging to his ego to admit that his girlfriend was the one who put him in that state.

After what seemed to be an eternity, Sakura emerged from the bathroom, holding the small white EPT stick in her hand, and Naruto held his breath as he sat up quickly. There was silence between the two of them for a moment; Naruto waiting for an answer, and Sakura staring back at him. Finally though, she gave in with a small sigh. "It's negative." She stated, irritation lacing her tone.

Slumping his shoulders, Naruto pouted for a moment, before jumping up and walking to her side. "Aw, come on, Sakura. There's always next time." He reasoned.

Rolling her pretty green eyes, Sakura exited the bathroom doorway, Naruto following her as made her way down the stairs and into the living room, walking around all of the moving boxes that were stacked and scattered abroad. "It's not fair!" She complained with a huff, entering the kitchen before she violently jerked open the freezer and pulled out the tub of Chocolate ice cream that resided there.

Naruto was already digging two spoons and two bowls out of one of the boxes in the kitchen marked 'DISHES', as he turned to give his girlfriend a charming smile. "Sakura, we've got all the time in the world, right? Besides, the next time you ov....ovua....ovualatte...??" He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to remember the word he was searching for, but instead gave up with a shrug. "That thing. Well, it'll only be in a month from now. It's not that long of a time."

Sitting down on the tiled floor with the ice cream, as Naruto handed her one of the bowls and spoons, Sakura pulled the top off the tub. "Ovulate." She corrected, scooping some of the chocolate into her bowl. "I know that, but this is the 8th time we've tried. I feel like maybe I'm not meant to get pregnant...." She mumbled, as she watched her fiance pig out on the ice cream before her.

"Come on." Naruto chided with a mouth full of chocolate. "Don't talk like that! You're too pretty not to make babies with me!" He said with a grin at the blush she gave. "It's why we're here, after all."

Looking down, Sakura took a delicate bit of the ice cream, falling silent as she thought his words over. While, yes, in truth the two of them had only decided to move when they were certain they wanted to start a family, because the one-bedroom apartment they shared was too small to have kids in. After some financial decisions on Sakura's part, she suggested that they'd buy a house. Well, actually, it was more like she punched Naruto on the arm while he was sleeping on the couch, and demanded a house to raise her children in. His response was "Okay, I'll do that later" and he fell asleep again.

They had found their dream home, though. A nice 2-story house in the suburbs, 10 minutes from Naruto's work, and 15 minutes from Sakura's college. While Naruto worked as a Mechanic at a local car shop, Sakura was still in Nursing school training to become an RA. Naruto had originally disagreed with he choice in career path, his reasoning being that if they were to raise a family together, she'd have to be home often for the kids. Nursing would take up a lot of time, after all.

Licking sloppily at his spoon, Naruto glanced up at his pretty girlfriend while continuing his ministrations. "Ne, Sakura? You wanna go meet our neighbor's today?" He questioned lightly. It would have only been one family, seeing as their house was at the very end of the road, leaving only one side for neighboring houses.

"Yeah.....I guess." Sakura mumbled, still a little disheartened by the whole pregnancy scene. "We'll go in a minute."

Noticing her depressed exterior, Naruto frowned to himself, letting his spoon dangle from his mouth for a moment before he reached up to remove it. "Hey....." He said, catching her attention. "Let's get married."

Staring at him dubiously for a few moments, Sakura rolled her eyes with an irritated sigh. "Naruto, you are not going to ask my hand in marriage, while sitting in the middle of a kitchen floor with chocolate ice cream all over your face." She stated as a matter-of-factly, crossing her arms; though she was unable to hide the tiny amused smile that reached her lips.

"But – but!!" Naruto pouted, leaning forward slightly with a childish whine. "Sakuraaaaaa......This is like....the 10th time I've asked you!!"

Scoffing in response, Sakura slid the lid back on the ice cream tub, before placing her spoon in her bowl with a slight clatter. "Yeah, and the other times didn't count."

"They did too count!" Naruto insisted, following his girlfriends lead as he moved to stand up, taking his bowl with him.

"Naruto, baby.... I love you, okay?" She said, dumping her dishes in the sink before heading back towards the fridge the re-place the ice cream. "But you asked me to marry you through a text message, and on Facebook, and on a Youtube video, and over Myspace, and in a McDonald's!!" She turned to face him with her hands on her hips. "Those are not proper proposals!"

"Okay, okay." Naruto said, raising his hands up in a surrendering manner. "I promise I'll find some way to swoon you." He said, flashing her one of his trademark grins. "I'm not giving up – I'm gonna marry you someday!"

Rolling her eyes with a fond smile, Sakura started out of the kitchen, gesturing for her boyfriend to follow. "Yeah, I know you won't give up. You chased after me for a year before I finally agreed to go on a date with you."

"But you liked it, though."

"You took me to a greasy fast-food restaurant to hang out with your friends."

"But I still won your heart, right?"

Not even bothering to grace the blond with a response, Sakura moved to open the front door, intent on heading over to the neighbor's house to introduce themselves. Her movements were only half lived however, when a sudden screeching female voice bitingly hit their ears. "What...the???" Sakura questioned, stepping out of the house with her boyfriend in tow.

There, right across the lawn from them were their apparent neighbor's. One was a rather shapely, gorgeous blonde woman standing in the middle of the yard, clad in a short dark-purple dress and high-heeled boots that would have made Paris Hilton look like Steve Urkel. Her expression was that of one VERY pissed of PMSing teenage girl, as she screamed obscenities towards the man standing on the porch, the house door swung half-way open. His hair was raven, the front cut so his bangs neatly framed his porcelain pale face, and the back was styled up in an assortment of spikes. His was dressed in all black; a black tank-top, black wristbands, black jeans, and it was something that only seemed to enhance his natural beauty.

" - don't you go fucking call her then!!! She already calls -"

" - talk to me like that, damn bitch!!! I don't like -"

" - ryone hates you!!! Even your own son hates you!!!"

"God-DAMMIT, Ino!!! Don't you dare even start to bring up -"

The blond woman suddenly stamped her foot harshly, letting out an irritated yell in her wake that was enough to silence the raven in the doorway, even for just a moment. She yelled angrily again, turning towards the red Chrysler Neon sports parked at the curb before their house, roughly digging her keys out of her purse as she walked. "FUCK YOU, SASUKE UCHIHA!! YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!" She screamed over her shoulder as she unlocked the driver's side of the car, and jerked the door open. Quickly taking seat in the vehicle, she kept the door open just long enough to yell once more. "FUCK YOU!!!"

The raven stood silent all throughout her screeching, until he heard the engine rive up and that seemed to knock some sense into his moronic brain. "Yeah.... Well, fuck you too!!!" He yelled back, even going so far as to flip her off, keeping his hand held up even as the car sped away, tire squealing from the speed.

Naruto and Sakura stood completely still, eyes wide at the scene that was displayed before them, and it wasn't until the raven haired man had cursed, then stalked back into his home while slamming the door loudly behind him, that Naruto finally spoke.

"So.....uhhh......I guess that was our neighbor's."

"............"

".......That blonde chick was hot."

Naruto yelped with a cringe, as his abnormally strong girlfriend punched him so hard he could have sworn for a moment that she broke the bone in his arm.

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Woo-hoo!! First chapter's up and rolling. Though, I've gotta say, I don't like this opening-chap very much – not enough going on, ya know? BUT. Next chapter we get to introduce Sasuke and Ino – properly; as well as Sasuke's son.....DUN, DUN, DUN!!! Who could it be??? It's going to be SO much fun writing him.

Oh, and don't let me forget to mention....Sasuke is a slut. Like, mega-time slut.

Dunno if Itachi and Deidara will be introduced in chapter 2 as well – that depends. Itachi is also going to be fun to write; he's gonna be an obnoxious bastard. X3

Leave a review, people!!! I base my updates completely on how many review's I receive. The more I get, the faster the updates, comprende? So if you like this fic, TELL ME SO. You don't even have to sign in, or make an account; just leave an anonymous one, whatever, I don't care. Just review!!!!!