Author's Notes:

I'm so very sorry for not updating for so long. I have many things to do and I have

Been caught up with reading this novel for school.

Another is I am really going lost on how I want the middle of my stories to go.

I am also facing the same problem with my other story…

I know what I want to happen and what the problem would be but…

I can't seem to find a really good way to connect them.

I hope you guys understand.

I'm really sorry again. Please forgive me. Please, please, please… With a mountain lion on top??- hahaha. Sound familiar??

Well… This is my fist fan fiction so please go easy on me…

Disclaimer: I DO NOT Own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer!!

Chapter21: Letting Go

Edward POV

I couldn't wait to get back to Bella. Who knows what that mutt did to her; what he told her. What he was able to convince him that I really was a monster and someone that isn't worthy of love??

Well I know that Bella loves me… Now. But what if when I get back, she would push me away and tell me to leave her forever?? I know that that was what I have been trying to tell her before, that she should push me away but… now that I know I have her, I cant seem to think of my world without her or… to be out of her world.

I hunted alone, knowing that I would just make my family worried- as if they weren't worried already. I knew I had to think. I had to brace myself for all that would happen to me. There were really only two possibilities that would happen to me when I see Bella. One, she pushes me away and listens to Jacob. Or two, she didn't believe Jacob and stood up for me.

No matter how hard I try to convince myself that it was going to be possibility number two, I couldn't help but wonder what I would do if it turned out to be the first.

I would be devastated… crushed. I would be forever wounded by the things that she would tell me…. You and Jacob were right. You are a freak. We aren't meant for each other. I imagined her say. Just then, I imagined her say the five words that would kill me. I don't love you anymore…

Those words lingered in my head for a long time. With just thinking about it, I felt like I was going to dry sob. I don't want to be weak. Nothing can make me weak… except Bella.

I imagined all the things that made me love her. Her eyes, her brown hair, her smooth, warm skin. Her floral scent… Her selflessness. Her kindness and goodness. Just basically everything about her. I can't find one flaw in her… Even her stubbornness and clumsiness is something that I adore about her.

The way her lower lip jut out when she was being stubborn. And the way she would fall into my arms as I catch her.

What am I going to do if I lose her now?? The thought is unbearable. I pushed it at the back of my head, knowing that if I keep thinking about it, I would completely break down.

I then ran back to Forks. When I reached her house, I was terrified of what I was about to witness. I didn't want to see her crashing, sobbing for him. I also didn't want to see her mad at me.

I just want to see her. Just her and I want to feel the way she loved me. Whenever I'm with Bella. I feel safe and at the same time, I want to protect her, I feel loved and I want to show her how much I do in return.

I climbed to her window and peaked in. She was sitting on her bed, her back to the headboard. She was staring at the ceiling, thinking about something really hard. What if she was thinking of how she was going to tell me to leave??

Don't be a coward!! I screamed in my head as I opened the window and stepped in. I sat on her rocking chair as she continued to stare at the ceiling.

Now or never. "What are you thinking??" I asked.

She jumped at the sound of my voice. When she saw that it was me, she blushed and her heart was beating so fast but she didn't show any welcoming emotion. This can't be good.

"How was your talk with Jacob??" I asked sincerely.

"Okay." She whispered then smiled. "I'm free."

"Free??" I asked.

Her eyes lit up as if she discovered the cure for cancer and then she jumped into my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I'm free. He let me go and I did too…" she whispered.

"Really??" I asked. I wasn't sure what that meant to her but she made it sound good so it must be good to her, right??

She nodded then sighed. "But… I don't understand what I'm feeling. I still want to keep my friendship with him intact even though I know that it is kind of impossible now."

"You still want to talk to him??" I asked and she nodded her head slowly. "But Bella… He's dangerous. I don't even know why I let you alone with him earlier. He could have hurt you."

"I know he hates me but… I also know that he still cares about me." She said. "he wouldn't hurt me."

"That doesn't change the fact that he is young and has no control over his temper… Please bear with me… I don't want you to get hurt and…" I stopped.

"And what??" she asked. She looked worried again. This conversation was seriously confusing. I was being all protective and strong but now, I felt like I was the weak one.

"When I left you with him, I couldn't stop but think that you were going to leave me and listen to him. I couldn't help but believe that you were going to believe him and tell me that you don't love me anymore." I bowed my head, afraid of what she would think of my little confession.

She cupped my cheek, silently telling me to look at her. I did and she was serious but her eyes were soft and loving. "I don't know where you get your ideas from. If I thought that of you, wouldn't I have told you by now?? Why would I listen to Jacob about you?? He doesn't know anything about you."

"Well, he knew you for much longer that I have, you two have loved each other too and for all I know you just want to be with me for the immortality." I snapped.

I looked at her and tears were falling down from her eyes, her expression, broken and pained. "Why would you think that of me??" she asked.

"Because there's no reason for you to love me. I know you've been denying it but I… don't know how to let myself believe you in that. I can't see myself through your eyes. I don't know how to see myself as beautiful. I see myself as dangerous, disgusting, cold and unlovable." I said.

She nodded… "You agree??" I asked.

"Definitely. You tell me that I don't see myself clearly well, apparently, neither can you." She said. "I understand you though. I also can't find a reason for you to love me. I'm average, plain, boring… compared to all the great things you are… I'm nothing compared to you."

I felt anger boil inside of me and I was about to protest but then she continued. "But maybe that's why were meant for each other. Because we need each other to constantly remind us how special we are. As for the immortality thing… I don't need it without you. Now that I know how much you mean to me, one lifetime isn't enough for me…"

"What are you saying?? You want me to change you??" I almost yelled.

"How else will we work??" she asked.

"We are working just fine now." I said through clenched teeth. "I will not take your soul from you."

"Well, check again because it already belongs to you." She said.

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Bella POV

We lay down on my small but comfortable bed together. He pulled me close and kissed my hair.

I don't know how else I would have this night end. It was perfect. I was free of Jacob and I was finally able to let Edward take every part of my heart. Jacob was there but not as much as before.

I was peaceful. I could actually really breathe without worrying about anything that would break my relationship with Edward.

How could I deserve someone like him?? Someone who gave his whole heart to me while I kept a secret part of mine from him?? but I don't want to keep asking these questions anymore.

I don't want God to hear because when He does, He will realize that I was right. That I don't deserve Edward and then He would take Edward away from me forever.

"Go to sleep, love." He whispered as he cradled my on his chest.

I nodded. "Goodnight Edward. I love you."

"I love you too." Then he kissed my forehead and pulled me closer.

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I am sorry to tell you that I have deleted the next two chapters to my story.

There were reviews that opened my eyes to see that it was going to fast and I realized my mistake.

But don't worry. I will be editing it a bit and then, I will put up the sequel…

I haven't thought of a name yet though…

Anyways…

Thank you guys for helping me out with my story.

I really love you guys.

Thank you and wait up for the sequel.

Please don't kill me and please understand.