DISCLAIMER: I do not own the mentalist or any of its characters no matter how much I would like to

The sun had just begun to set when I pulled the car over to the side of the road. The top of it peeked out from behind the mountains on the horizon, almost as if it was playing a game of hide and seek with the moon which had just made itself visible in the darkening sky. I wiped tears from my eyes as I remembered what had happened just hours before.

It was a case just like any other, the shooting of a teenage boy in his home. I knew straight away that it was the boy's father and after collecting sufficient evidence we went to make the arrest. When Lisbon and I pulled up outside the house, the street was quiet. A gentle breeze rustled tree leaves and the sun shone down brightly. There was nothing to indicate the horror that would happen next. Lisbon got out of the car and I followed.

"Jane." She said "stay next to the car. We don't want you getting hurt."

I just smiled at her. I had no idea that they were the last words I would ever hear her say.

"Don't worry about me. Go play the hero."

She smiled at me over her shoulder and walked over to take her place. I leant against the car and stood watching her when a glint of silver caught my attention. I looked over to see the boy's father holding a gun that was directed straight at Lisbon. The air around me turned cold. His finger tightened on the trigger.

"Lisbon!" I shouted. "Duck!"

She whirled around to face me and a deafening bang shattered the still summer air. She crumpled in slow motion. There was a flurry of bullets and the man went down. I turned and ran as fast as I could towards Lisbon's still form and gathered her in my arms. Bright red blood was rushing hot and sticky, out of a bullet wound near her hairline staining my shirt crimson and the concrete under her brown. I cradled her fragile body in my arms.

"Lisbon" I whispered. "Lisbon. You have to wake up. Open your eyes. Lisbon. Teresa?"

On the last word my voice cracked hopelessly and suddenly there was a medic pushing me out of the way. I watched, my throat aching with the effort not to cry as they loaded her into the ambulance. It sped off, sirens wailing. Then Rigsby was at my side pulling on my elbow and telling me to get into his car. I sat in the back seat next to Van Pelt who had silent tears streaming down her face. The trip to the hospital was excruciatingly long, each second stretching out mercilessly. When we pulled into the ER I was out of the car before it stopped, sprinting inside. I ran straight to the information desk. The lady behind it was typing on her computer.

"Can you tell me where they took Teresa Lisbon?" The lady looked up and her eyes widened with shock as she took in the blood drying on my shirt and on my hands.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"Teresa Lisbon" I demanded, my voice desperate. "Can you tell me where she is?"

Her voice quavered slightly when she replied "I think she's in surgery. If you go and sit down, I'll send her doctor over to you." I nodded and walked on legs that suddenly felt like jelly, and collapsed into a chair. I stared at my hands sticky with Teresa's blood, and waited, and waited and waited. I only noticed the doctor standing in front of me until he cleared his throat loudly. I looked up to see Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt all sitting near me. The doctor cleared his throat again.

"You are Agent Lisbon's colleagues, yes?"

Cho stood up. "Yeah. We are."

"I'm sorry. We did everything we could but we couldn't save her." The look on the doctors face was one of pity and I found myself hating him for it. Van Pelt collapsed against Rigsby, sobbing against his chest and Cho sat down heavily in his seat, head in his hands. My body went numb. I couldn't stay and watch this. I had to get out of here.

"Rigsby." He looked up at me, eyes bright with tears. "I need your keys."

"My keys?" he repeated.

"Yes, your keys. I need them now."

Nodding slowly he handed them to me. I snatched them out of his hand and ran towards his car. I opened the door, rammed the keys into the ignition and sped off. I was driving twice the speed limit but I didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. I drove and drove until the tears made it impossible to see the road in front of me. The sun had just begun to set when I pulled my car over to the side of the road.

And now the sun was gone and a blanket of stars covered the sky. I sat in the car seat sobbing uncontrollably. It all came crashing in on me. I was never going to see Teresa again. I was never going to see her smile or hear her laugh. I was never going to hear her yell at me or see her cheeks flush pink when I embarrassed her. I was never going to be able to tell her that since I had met her the days had been brighter and I thought of more than just revenge .In the back of my mind I remembered a quote I had read somewhere. 'The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone'. Well I was never going to make it to her grave. I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out the gun. I had picked it up off the ground after they had taken Teresa away. I wasn't sure why I had but know I knew. People around me kept dying. I couldn't keep the people I loved safe. Something had to be done about it and I held the solution in my hand. The gun was cooler and heavier than I had expected but as I lifted it up and pressed it snugly against my temple, I wasn't scared. My finger wrapped around the trigger. Forgive me. I pulled the trigger and everything went black.