Crack Open The World

Author: Hiasobi
Rating: PG13
Fandom: KIBA
Summary: Zed, Noa, and Calm before the sky opened.

Zed…Zed always wanted freedom. He felt stifled, choked, to the point of near insanity in Calm. There was no sky opened wide above him, no clouds floating gently by, no sun shining brightly down, no rain to bring cleansing, and no wind to carry him away – even when something inside him said there should be, there should be, there should be!

He was trapped, caged in by his surroundings and by the expectations that everyone pushed on him: behave, go to school, get good marks, stop breaking down doors, and stop yearning for what wasn't there.

But he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how many times he told himself to give up – something inside said: wind/air/trees/grass/rustling leaves/open sky/freedom.

He hated it – the teachers, police, society which expected things from him he couldn't give.

He always felt like he was in the wrong world, born different then the rest. Restless and desperate and always seeking for the elusive answer to a question he didn't even know.

There were two people he loved, that he cared about: Noa and his mother.

His mother had been in the hospital, staring blankly out into the fish tank for as long as he could remember. She did not notice him, register his presence, would not speak or respond to him in anyway. But she was his mother and at some time she must have loved him because he was born wasn't he? He had money set up for his education and necessities didn't he? Her hospital and his monthly bills were paid, weren't they?

He also remembers a vague warmth surrounding him, back when he was too young to clearly understand or remember anything.

Noa was weak, he was weak and was picked on and Zed hated bullies – weaklings who only made themselves feel strong by picking on weaker people. Noa followed him when he could have left, back to a nice, warm, safe, loving home with a welcoming mother. Noa came back to him the day after and the day after that and the day after that.

Noa gave Zed something to protect, something to hold onto to, someone to care about him when the whole world was confined to a dim hospital bed and a fish tank. Noa was Zed's reason to keep going because if he gave up, if he didn't wake up and get to that park on time, if he didn't eat or take care of himself, or if he spent his life in the hospital as lifeless as his mother Noa would be disappointed.

Noa needed/wanted/treasured Zed and Zed returned the affection the same way.

Noa was fighting the same way Zed was fighting, for that elusive answer to an unknown question, about why to continue living in this life with no freedom?

Noa was delicate and his condition incurable, but instead of confining himself to a hospital bed, letting life pass by pitifully like his mother, Noa lived each day with Zed in the city – two stupid boys not wearing a face mask and running around with what little choices they had.

In dreams it came to him: rustling feathers, shining golden light, and the road to freedom.

. : - : .

Noa was the student council president and others would often remark that looking after Zed must give him so much trouble. He always laughed inside and wondered why they don't think that looking after him gave Zed trouble.

Zed was strong and free. Constraints like relationships and attachments locked him down, but Noa always kept chasing after him even when Zed looked like he might be happier to be alone, without the burdens of his friendship. Zed was a free spirit going where ever he wanted, doing whatever he felt like. Disregarding things like rules and curfew and polite manners he was brash, loud, spontaneous and beautiful to Noa.

Noa needed to live his life in a disciplined, orderly little box or his body would give out on him quicker then even he planned for. Running and heavy exercise was not possible, drinking and smoking and trendy teenage things like clubbing were not a possibility for him. He was caged in, unable to go to any social events the students kept inviting him to and soon only the staff spoke to him as everyone developed the image he was snobby and cold.

Zed running free and wild looked backwards or turned to Noa when Noa asked him questions, spoke to Noa when he was prodded, never minded that Noa could not do the same things he could and took care of him in the ignorant, clueless way only Zed could. Zed made faces and spoke exasperated but he never left Noa behind like the rest of the people.

In the confined, domed city of Calm Zed was always running in search of something desperately, sometimes it was painful to watch.

But Noa stayed with Zed and tried to catch up, in hopes that someday when Zed found that other place, of Freedom, Zed will take Noa with him.

. : the outside : .