IT IS FINALLY HERE. So, sorry to everyone that has waited, I fail and I know it. I hope there are people still reading this and that it has lived up to any expectations
Disclaimer: I do not own Gee Nics OR Twilight unless Jasper is really gay.
5 seconds later
What was I saying? Who cares? Not me that's who, for I am doing number 5, no number 6! With the Sex God!
" Georgia?" Who was that? That sounds like…
" Dave?"
Oh Giddy God! It IS Dave! What is he doing here? I thought he went home after the almost fisticuffs at dawn fandango?
3 seconds later
Dave is just staring at me like a staring at me thing. STOP STARING!
He looks quite upset actually.
What has HE got to be upset about? HE is not the one who got (possibly) dumped back there. I should know because it was, in fact, moi.
5 seconds later
Dave is still staring at me and Robbie.
It is like his eyes are frozen.
2 seconds later
Houston, we have movement! I repeat, he is not a frozen fish stick. Erlack! If he was he wouldn't half pong!
And I'd have snogged a fish!
A frozen fish to be exact. Oh shut up brain!
Anyway… Dave's eyes have now moved to Robbie's hands on my waist.
3 seconds later
He looks quite angry now. Why is he angry? As I mentioned before this is all HIS fault NOT mine.
Well let him be angry.
If he wants to be Dave the Unlaugh then PANTS to him!
I have a Sex God AND an Italian Stallion to occupy myself.
" You're never satisfied are you Gee?" Excusez-moi? No wonder he is called the vati, for he is as terminally mad as one. And that is le fact. " Oh no, Georgia Nicolson doesn't settle for two guys, she has to have three chasing after her!" What in the name of Mr Next Doors giant pantiloons is he talking about?
Wait a minute!
" THREE BOYS?!? What in the name of PANTS are you talking about?" I practically screamed at him.
Well he was screaming at me! What right did he have to accuse me of leading on three guys? Oh sure maybe I was cheating on the Italian Stallion with the Sex God… But where did the other person come from? Can he not count!?! That is clearly two people, even the Astonishingly Dim Monica's of the world would know that. And that is saying something.
Robbie looks quite taken aback by my outburst. And who blames him? Not me that's for sure, I was so close to him I was practically screaming his ear off. Though not literally obviously as that would have been quite a tragic sight and that is le fact. The Sex God would not be complete without his godly ears.
Dave just looks even angrier. Soon he'll be as red as the portly one… though he does look rather gorgey when he's angry.
2 seconds later
Wait! Where did that come from? Bad red bottom! Damn the cosmic horn! And damn Dave for creating it!
1 second later
Dave laughed, but it wasn't a normal Dave-the-Laugh laugh, it was a Dave-the-Evil laugh. If you know what I mean and I think you do.
That laugh quite sacred me to be honest, the hairs on the back of my neck all stood to attention like they always do in those books when the person is about to be attacked by a mad Scottish axe-man.
" You really are as stupid as you look aren't you Gee?" WHAT! How dare he? I'm not stupid! Oh joy, there's more. " Forget it. I'll leave you and your cosmic horn to it because I'm out of here. You better hope that hand bag horse doesn't find out." he looked at Robbie then. Cover your godly ears Robbie! Save yourself from Dave the Evil's wrath! I should have shouted them off when I had the chance! " I thought you were my friend Robbie." Eh? What's he talking about? As usual I will be the last to know. Also, why didn't he shout at Robbie? Why is it always my fault?
2 seconds later
Dave's gone now. I turned back to Robbie, he looks kind of upset. Underneath all the shock that is. He's just staring at the spot Dave was a second ago (or 2 to be precise). It's kind of creepy to be frank... Whoever Frank is.
4 seconds later
Ok, it really is quite scary now. I would run for my life but that seems a little extreme…then again.
No. Last time I ran away (when I went to "catch my train") everyone thought I was mad for weeks. In fact, they probably still do.
Besides, it wouldn't be fair to leave Robbie like he is. I think he's gone into shock like we learnt about in Blodge. Ooo, what to do. What to do.
" Robbie," I said it real soft so as not to startle him. I think that's what we were told to do. Success! Take that Jazzy Spazzy, I'm a Blodge smarty PANTS of the highest waters! He's no longer staring at the spot Dave was standing in but at me instead!… though now I'm not sure what's worse.
2 seconds later
Looking at me is defiantly worse. It's almost as bad as Dave and his scary starey act… almost.
" I think we should go now Georgia, I'll walk you home."
I just nodded. It seemed like the kind of thing a smarty PANTS of the first water would do. I wouldn't want Robbie to go back into shock, it was rather scary and that it le fact.
4 minutes later
Walking home now, thank Our Lord Sandra. Robbie is trudging along next to me so I'm not all aloney on my owney as they say… Who ever they are.
2 seconds later
Why do we listen to them anyway? They could be anyone really, if you were to really think about it, as I am at this precise moment being the Buddha of sophisticosity that I am. They could be the mad axe men in the stories. They could prey on innocent Sex Kitties and Sex Gods like me and Robbie! In fact, they could be lurking in the bushes right now waiting to tear Robbie limb from limb and take me back to their shack in the woods to cook and clean like a mutti! Gadzooks!
1 second later
Well not my mutti obviously as she has been barely able to keep me alive all these years. In fact, if it wasn't for my first water surviving skills that I learnt from Angus and his wild Scottish ways I would be long gone and over the hills as they say. Holy Kotch they're back again. Save yourselves. Run mind run!
3 seconds later
" Are you okay Gee?"
" Of course! As okay as an okay thing in an okay factory!" I said with an airy laugh.
1 second later
Not literally airy obviously. It wasn't huge with big windows and lots of room for furniture and… Oh shut up brain this is not time for ramblings with Jazzy Spazzy! Mad axe men are on the loose!
" Oh, well can you stop digging your nails into my arm then? It's kind of painful."
" Oh. Sorry." I pried my nails from his arm and gave another airy laugh.
1 second later
Not literally you nutters I just explained… Oh never mind. They are the height of sophisticosity though, just so you know. I am the Buddha on it after all… Sophisticosity not airy laughing. Then again I AM a Sex Kitty and as such am the Buddha on all things… Sex Kittyish. And airy laughing is deffo a Sex Kitty trait if I do say so myself, which I do.
32 minutes later
In my bed of pain once again… inside the bakery of pain.
I am inside my bed of pain inside the bakery of pain. It's a pain-all-round type fandango. With a touch of aggers thrown in there for good measure. In fact I think- Oh shut up brain, you're the one that got us into this mess with your stupid run-run-pant-panting off at VAIR important moments and leaving me with nothing but my red bottom for guidance!
1 minute later
Have turned to my Meditation for the Very Backward book to help calm down. Maybe my new found Buddhaness shall help me to understand the mystical ways of the stars.
2 minutes later
The stars aren't mystical. They are still annoying with their cheerful winking and blinking like twinkly idiot ways. And that is le fact. Almost as annoying as Dave the laugh because when you dig down to the root of the problem (way WAY deep down where the goblins roam and the sun don't shine as Vati says when he's had too much vino… which is often.) you will find him there.
Par example. If Dave the laugh DIDN'T exist then I would never have kissed Robbie as I would know nothing of the ways of the Red Bottom.
4 minutes later
I also wouldn't have shouted about PANTS in front of the Italian Stallion and he wouldn't have gone off in a handbag-wielding humpty-dumpty.
5 minutes later
I have just had spark of whatsit! If there was no Dave the Supposed Laugh then I would not have twisted with him and the Italian Stallion wouldn't have wanted to have the fisticuffs-at-dawn avec Dave the Laugh! Gadzooks! I really am Buddha!
Shall try again to understand the mystic ways of the stars with my renewed Buddhaness.
10 minutes later
A large white van has just parked in the driveway next door. The mad-axe men have come to drag me away!
Tell my mutti I love her and that Jas can have my mascara.
2 minutes later
Phwor! He's gorgey!
Mwahaha, had to leave u with a cliff hanger for my comeback didn't I?
I hope it meets up tp any and all expectations!
Thank you to all that have read and reviewed this story so far!
Please let me know what u thought, not sure when the next chappie will be up cause I have exams soon but I hope it'll be soon and it WONT be as long a wait as last time I PROMISE!
BYE
x x x