"Could have totally got you that job…" He slurs. He's much to drunk to grab his scotch on the first try. Which of the three is the real one anyway?
"Shot!" She screams. It sounds like she screams. She forces a tiny glass into his hand and they down them at the same time. It tastes like fire.
"Wooooo!"
"Should have let me get you that job!" He insists.
"Why?" She laughs. "I'm doin'… awfsome!" She can't seem to stop laughing.
"I love you!"
She kind-of blinks unsteadily. "Wow, over-reaction much? I just bought you a shot, is'all." She hiccups.
He can't let her do this. "I love you, Robin!" He says.
"Sure you do, buddy," she grins, grabbing onto him. They almost fall.
"Come back to my place?" He says, like he's got the yips again. "I can promise that I'll definitely try and have sex with you!"
She grins like he's joking and punches him in the arm. They leave together, get a cab together and she dozes on his shoulder during the ride.
"I love you," he says again, because it's getting easier to say it.
*--*--*
The sex is messy and clumsy and she's incredibly affectionate. She nuzzles him and kisses him and she's really… sweet.
(a part of him spits at the word sweet because that's not what sex is ever about. Not for him)
She murmurs things in his ear and tells him how much she cares about him and makes him promise he'll never leave her, no matter what. She's weird and clingy and so un-Robin but it doesn't freak him out. He's drunk enough to appreciate it. He's drunk enough to revel in it.
He lets her take control, get on top of him. He likes how she's so imperfect right now, her hair all tangled, her makeup smudged. He likes how soft she is around the edges, all her sharp corners are worn smooth. He can't hurt himself when he brushes his heart against her.
He lets her ride him, wearing nothing but a Cowboy hat, whooping and hollering and swinging her hand above her head like she's in the rodeo. He laughs and cheers as she points an imaginary gun at the ceiling and screams "Bang!"
It's fun when she makes him come. It's light and it's carefree and there's no side to it. There's no suspicion or guardedness or manipulation or structure.
It's just them - two kids having fun.
They fall asleep, holding each other close, limbs entwined, comfortable…
*--*--*
Loving…
He opens his eyes when he hears her groan. He can't pretend to be asleep any longer, delaying the inevitable while he listens to the slow cadence of her breathing.
When her feet touch the floor…?
He closes his eyes. It hurts him more than he thought it would.
"But I love you…" He thinks. Shouldn't that make a difference this time?
Apparently not. She pulls away from him, sliding out of bed and gathering her clothes. She groans again.
He sits up. He tries on the mask but it slips quickly away. He knows he won't be able to hide what he feels - the longing, the wishing, the months and months of hope. Shattered. Dashed.
Again.
"Oh god, Barney…" She says. Her voice is shaking. She's pulling on her panties and fastening her bra and, damn, he wishes she'd slow down a little.
"I love you…." He whispers, too softly. The words are just for him and the three inches of air in front of his face.
"I'm so sorry…" She continues, her accent creeping in. "I was just… so drunk! And I know I said some things." She's turned away from him but he can tell that she's blushing. She's so beautiful. She's so beautiful when she blushes. She doesn't do it often enough. He stares at her, unblinking, just drinking her in.
"I made a fool out of myself…" She chuckles. "A complete idiot. I know you could have got me that job but I was just being… an idiot. And then I got drunk and, you know, it brought up some stuff." She's still not looking at him. She's still looking away. "I-," she gulps. "You are going to think this is so lame, Barney. So lame. But… but I think I've got some… some kind of… feelings… for you, I mean. I think I-" She swallows and her shoulders hunch. His fingers grip the single blanket like it's an emergency break. Pull to avoid disaster.
"Barney… I think you might like me too. But we're both too scared to say anything because we're both… uh…" She trails off. She's still not looking at him.
"Robin…" He says and she finally turns around. Everything is too bright. Too bright. She's blinding him.
"I- I love you!" He says - and it's too hesitant. "I love you," he repeats, more firmly. There. It's out there.
"Wow…" She says. Then she smiles, getting back on the bed.
"This is going to be hard…" She kisses him uncertainly.
"Hopefully!" He says, with an eyebrow wiggle.
It breaks the tension. She laughs and kisses him like she means it.
"Wow…" She repeats. "What does this mean?"
He shrugs. "I don't know how the next bit goes."
She laughs. "Neither do I!"
"Then I guess we find out together."
He pulls her down on the bed next to her, pressing his body against hers. He realises he's never thought beyond this point, never hoped he'd get there. It's not what he thought it would be.
It's great.
Robin whispers in his ear. "You wanna giddy-up?"
He grins.
He really does love her.