Tails, MD
by Taranea
"...does the number of affected Mobians continue to rise. People who have contracted this disease are advised to see their doctor and afterwards stay in bed. Due to the highly contagious nature of the fever, please avoid contact with-"
"'-yet non-affected sapients.' Yes. I know. You have been repeating this same message for over two days now, so can't you think of anything else?" the two-tailed fox snapped at the radio and rudely cut the newscaster off as his right hand was already fiddling with the controls to find a new channel. It had to be said that right now Tails would have been ready to listen to a Pig-squealing disco-remix with added country guitar just to take his mind off the current situation. His left hand meanwhile was stirring the pot with honey milk on the stove, and almost spilling it due to the hectic motions that came with his grumpy mood.
Hedgefever.
The current bane of his nine-year-old life.
The illness affected only certain spiky mammals (Tails bet the scientist responsible for the name had found it oh-so-funny) and it was lethal, at least for the feral sort. For Mobian ones fortunately it only meant high temperature, headache, queasiness, sore throats, limb ache, dizziness, clogged noses and, in the opinion of the young fox –
"Tails! I'm dying!"
- also a severe case of complete and utter irritation of the person stuck with taking care of the hedgehog in question.
"No, you're not! Stop pretending you are!"
"I am! I swear I can see a light at the end of a tunnel!"
"Then turn off the friggin TV! Your food is almost ready anyway, so stop nagging!" Tails called up the stairs, taking the milk off the stove and pouring it into two mugs, sighing.
Three days ago, Sonic had knocked at the door of his workshop, just wanting to hang around on the couch and watch Tails work. Not common, but also not that unusual. You couldn't run around like a maniac every day without it getting boring sometimes. And since Sonic loved company more than anything else, he usually chose to visit Tails' place on days like this. The young fox had tinkered away to his heart's content and almost forgotten that his blue friend was even there – until he finally brought a round of snacks from the kitchen, just to discover that Sonic had curled up completely and lay on his couch shivering and pale as the sky.
"Is it Chili dogs?"
"No, it isn't! You threw up almost immediately when you took a bite of the last ones I made and-"
"But everybody knows hedgehogs need chili to build up speed!"
"You sound like your temperature has risen another degree," the small fox muttered under his breath, carefully shifting the bananas, chicken soup and white bread slices onto the plate he was going to carry up into the bed room. Tails' house consisted of two storeys. The ground floor was divided into a huge workshop, a living room almost as big, and a small kitchen, while upstairs he had his own bedroom, the bath and a guest room. It was usually reserved for Sonic and the hedgehog had also occupied it ever since he got sick. Upstairs, the beginnings of another protest tirade could be heard, but luckily degenerated quickly into a coughing fit.
"And it's not gonna get better if you keep yelling like that, either!"
Tails had called Dr. Quack immediately at that day, just to discover that the poor duck was already way over his feathery head in spiky, miserable patients clogging his waiting room. If you had thought Shadow whining about Maria was bad, you hadn't yet seen what a bed-ridden Sonic was capable of. Or just ill hedgehogs in general.
"Tai-ils ! I'm starving !"
"Your middle name isn't Maurice, it's Impatience! I'm coming!"
"Awww, Maurice? That's so CUTE!"
Tails groaned, very probably in synch with the blue hedgehog upstairs. Of course Amy had rushed over immediately as she heard the news, unable to resist the chance to get up close and personal with a helpless Sonic, but unfortunately…
"Tails! Now I'm dying!"
…she collapsed almost the second she had set foot in Tails' house. Hedgefever. Highly contagious. What did you think your species was again, Amy?
"She's lying! I only threw that one cushion at her!"
"And it increased my headache tenfold, you jerk!"
"Just – just be quiet! Both of you!" the two-tailed fox had kicked the door open and was now trying to set the trays down on both of the hedgehog's laps, who were still glaring at each other. They had sat up on their mattresses (the only way to fit two beds in one room), their cheeks flushed with fever and their pink and sky blue pyjamas just as ruffled as their quills.
"But Tails – she's been pulling my mattress closer to hers again! She wants to make this a double bed!"
"I didn't!"
"You did!"
The young fox screamed and raced out of the room. Sonic and Amy stared after him, perplexed.
"What's his deal?" the blue hedgehog asked, eye ridges raised.
The girl shrugged. "No idea. Well, I'm going to take a nap. I already feel tired again."
"Yeah, me too. I just hope Tails won't wake us up with all his yelling, no clue why he's so high-strung."
xxx
"Where do the groceries go?"
"Anywhere. Dump them on Sonic and Amy's heads if it shuts them up," a defeated-sounding Tails could be heard, as just his sneakers were visible over the armrest of the couch he was lying on.
"Oh. That bad, huh?" Knuckles asked, as he and Cream made their way into the kitchen to unload their cargo.
"You bet." The twin-tail groaned.
He was just happy that at least Cream had agreed almost immediately to help out when he had called her in sheer desperation. He wasn't sure whether mental degeneration to kindergarten behaviour was part of the hedgefever, or whether that was just how hedgehogs behaved when they weren't saving the world for once, (or alternatiely running after each other) but he had been pretty damn sure that he was going insane if he had to continue to take care of them alone.
"Tails! She's crept into my bed! I want separate rooms NOW!"
"But I was just cold…"
"Amy, we both have fever! You weren't 'cold', you were just trying to come onto me!"
"Whatever gave you that idea…my darling Sonikku?"
"TAILS! HELP!"
Tails wondered whether Knuckles would maybe be so kind as to knock him unconscious if he asked him nicely. The echidna had needed some more persuasion to come over, but when a frantic kitsune had offered to upgrade his entire security installations on Angel Island if he could just help him to keep his sanity with two sick hedgehogs in the house, he had agreed to help out as well.
Cream had said she was good at taking care of others, but unfortunately that had turned out to be mostly about Chao. And even while Amy had been delighted to discover the rabbit was trying to feed Sonic a heart fruit, Tails was less than pleased when the blue hedgehog was once again hanging over the toilet sink afterwards.
"Hedgefever tip today: If your feral pet hedgehog doesn't move anymore, it is most likely dead. If your Mobian hedgehog friend or relative doesn't move anymore-"
"-it's because his kid brother has probably strangled him," Tails grumbled, while looking for that disco pig channel again. That had actually been quite nerve-calming.
Maybe it wasn't that smart to turn off the advice programme, but they weren't very helpful anyway. A pity that nobody over here knew much about treating sick people either…Tails was more at home with piston seizure than stomach cramps, Cream thought flowers in the room should be enough happiness to 'drive out the evil bacteria', and Knuckles…well, echidna medicine could probably best summed up with 'if he survives the night, he'll live, and now let me burn the wound out', a statement that had sent Sonic and Amy in a frantic scramble for the telephone to call help from Dr. Quack, only to collapse halfway down the stairs and groaning.
"Who's responsible for dinner tonight?" the fox asked without much hope.
"Oh, Mr. Knuckles said he would do it! I'll change the bed sheets now, just think, Sonic has punctured holes in all your linen again!" Cream exclaimed cheerfully, while Tails was trying very hard not to break into pieces in front of a girl two years younger than him. The fox snuck a glance into the kitchen where the red echidna was at work and twitched.
The young rabbit had already claimed that she couldn't cook, because she 'wasn't yet allowed to use the stove', but judging from the things that Knuckles was doing to those innocent pancakes, he probably wasn't allowed yet, either, and never, ever should be.
"Sonic, I smell smoke! The house is burning down and we are too weak to get out! We're gonna DIE!" a high-pitched female voice from upstairs shrieked almost immediately.
"Whatever, I feel so miserable it doesn't make a difference…"
"Tails! Evacuation! Now!"
The fox groaned.
xxx
Seven days. It had been a complete seven days and Tails was thinking of just going feral and saving himself all that trouble. Shadow had passed by as well, but just laughed at Sonic for ten minutes straight before then vanishing in a blast of Chaos Control again. Bastard immune Ultimate Lifeform.
Last night, Sonic had even woken Tails up at half past two, claiming that he couldn't sleep because Amy was 'breathing up all his air.' He had discovered he could sleep marvellously well if just knocked with a cushion hard enough, though.
The little fox was now dragging himself back from the apothecary, his eyes bloodshot and tails trailing on the floor. Opening the door he collapsed on a chair in the living room while some pandemonium was already going on upstairs again. Still, the fever was only supposed to last ten days at the most. It should get better soon.
After all, it couldn't possibly get worse.
The air in the living room was spliced apart by a neon turquoise flash. Tails gasped and rubbed his eyes at the sudden brightness, blinking. Then he thought he could see a figure…
"Silver?"
"I have come to warn you of another future catastrophe! You must immediately-!"
The argentum hedgehog collapsed.
"Oh gods, what is this? I think I'm dying!"
Cream wondered later why Tails had locked himself in the broom cupboard.
xxx
But time is a healer and even the worst storms had to pass eventually…
"Sonic! Where's my honey milk?"
"It's coming! It's coming!"
"And my hot water bottle!"
"Nearly finished!" Amy called, almost tripping over Silver's feet in the process.
"I still haven't heard my bath being run!"
"We're working on it!" All three hedgehogs yelled in stressed unison from the small, crowded kitchen where they were currently trying to move around without knocking everything down with their spines. Of course, after Tails had taken care of them for more than two weeks, it was the least they could do to repay the favour when he needed it. His wishes were starting to grow ever more extravagant, but having super speed and psychic powers helped a little. Nope, they wouldn't complain.
Even if they all agreed that his case of 'fox-pox' only two days after they'd just recovered from their illness had been very sudden.
Fin
There you go. Written around the same time last year still in Europe, when I was the one feeling miserable (and mildly suicidal) with a very bad head cold. But misery loves company and nothing is nicer than letting imaginary characters suffer with you...also, official sympathies and my heart goes out to all of you northern hemisphere people who are currently stuck in winter and Sorethroatland. Then again, there is something to be said for winter when you're currently silently crying into your keyboard because of your painful, painful sunburn from a day at bondi beach. But maybe that's just me. :P
Note: All credit for the concept of the hedgefever virus go of course to JudasFm, and her story 'Guardian's Choice'. Read it, and please nag her to continue, she appreciates it. ;)
Happy Chinese New Year, everyone! :D