You Were the First Mile

By Luna

Chapter 12: Name of the Game

Emma waited nervously in the living room, chewing her bottom lip. Her hand itched to pick up her cell phone and dial Grant's number, just to hear his calm voice, but she already knew what she must do, and calling him wouldn't help her. She'd already let a perfectly good moment go by earlier in the morning, and she was about to run out of time.

She was waiting for Harriet, and she was steadily losing her nerve. Harriet had gone to finish packing away all her last minute items into her suitcase before she left for the winter break. Emma knew that Harriet's ride to the airport would be arriving at any moment. She only had a few minutes left to say what she needed to say. Emma tried to steel herself, but all she wanted to do was go hide in her room.

She couldn't get out of it; it had to be done. She had to tell Harriet that she was dating Grant.

She grimaced. It was a terrible situation. She was nonsensical with happiness about her new relationship with Grant, and yet she had snatched him away from her friend. She didn't want to hurt Harriet by dating Grant, and yet there was no way to stop herself from loving him now that she had properly come to her senses. It was a disaster. No matter what she did, Harriet was bound to be hurt.

Emma took a reluctant breath and called out to Harriet, who had entered the kitchen. Harriet stepped into the sitting room and sat at Emma's request, a questioning look on her face. It was the first time the girls had sat face to face since they'd argued. In the days following their argument, they'd seemed to have a tacit agreement not to talk about the fight.

They'd skulked, avoiding each other due to the awkwardness. The time that Emma was not at Grant's apartment she spent in her room. She'd even taken to eating at a later time than usual so as to avoid Harriet.

The tension was easing, however. Although the air between them had been a little colder than usual, they seemed to be returning to normal. This morning they had even shared a laugh in the kitchen, but now Emma was about to ruin it all.

Emma frowned but ploughed on with what she had to say. She looked down at her hands, playing idly with a loose string on her jeans.

"Harriet, you've become one of my closest friends, and I really don't know how to say this." She faltered, looking up into Harriet's blue eyes. Her throat closed and she had to swallow back the urge to cry. "I just want you to know that I never wanted you to get hurt."

Harriet's eyes were wide, and she looked touched and also a little apprehensive.

"After our argument the other day, I finally realized how I feel about Knightley. I'd been a fool not to realize that I was in love with him. I'm sorry for the way that I acted. I wasn't trying to insult you or imply anything. I was in shock, although that really isn't an excuse for anything…" she trailed off. "I went to talk to him at the daycare, and he feels the same way about me. We're together." Emma gulped. "I'm just so sorry that you're in the middle of it too," she said sincerely.

She didn't know what to expect; she was almost afraid to meet the other girl's eyes.

But Harriet's initial surprise was fading from her features. She looked off to the side, looking downtrodden but resigned. Emma greatly admired her lack of bitterness.

"I went to talk to him, too," Harriet said quietly, and she sighed. "After I talked with you I thought I should really check to make sure he liked me." She raised her shoulders in a reluctant shrug. "It was pretty obvious that he wasn't interested in me. I didn't say anything, but I didn't need to. I could tell. It seemed pretty useless to go on liking him when there was obviously no chance for me. I think deep down I already knew that he wanted you." She looked sad. "I'm sorry, too. I realize you were trying to keep me from making a fool of myself."

Emma felt wretched. "No, I was just being selfish. I'm—I'm really sorry about the way this all worked out." She didn't think she was expressing everything she wanted. How to make Harriet know that she hadn't meant to take Grant away from her, how it hadn't been malicious or about winning the competition…

Harriet gave the slightest of shrugs. Before she could respond further, the intercom gave a buzz and Harriet jumped and hurried over to answer it.

"I'll be right down, Rob," Harriet said quickly. She gave Emma a harried look and ran to her room, only to return a minute later wearing her coat and gloves, a large duffel bag hanging from her shoulder.

"Who was that?" Emma asked quickly, and she thought she saw Harriet's mouth twitch slightly. She couldn't be sure, as half of Harriet's face was hidden by her hair. The voice on the intercom had been male.

Harriet brushed her hair back behind her ear slowly and adjusted the bag on her shoulder.

"It's Rob Martin." Emma couldn't blame Harriet for sounding defensive. "I ran into him while I was selling some of my books back the other day, and we got to talking. I hadn't seen him for a while and it was…it was nice," she finished lamely. "He's taking a flight home around the same time as me, and so we thought, why not carpool to the airport? That way we could split the parking cost." There was no doubt; Harriet was definitely trying not to smile now. She looked distinctly flustered.

Emma blinked away her surprise and felt herself breaking into a wide smile. Harriet let out a few giggles of her own. Neither of them were able to come up with anything more to say. The situation seemed clear enough.

"'Bye, Emma," Harriet said simply. She shrugged her shoulders and flashed Emma a brief smile before heading out the apartment door.

Emma fell back against the couch cushion. Her mind was racing, but where she had been filled with dread before, she was now filled with hope. Emma had assumed that Harriet's feelings for Grant were deep, but no, it had only been a crush. She hadn't ruined their friendship completely, after all. She hadn't even seriously dented it. Perhaps things had gotten a little shaken up, but Emma had no doubt that everything would settle on its own. She doubted Harriet would ever come to her for advice again, but that was as it should be. They would build a new friendship where they would both be on equal footing.

One thing was certain; she had been blind to not see that Harriet's real feelings had always been for Rob Martin.

Emma shook her head, musing. If she hadn't already lost her high opinion of herself regarding matters of the heart, she didn't think she would have been able to take this new development. Emma reviewed the past semester. After forcing Harriet away from Rob in the beginning, she'd convinced her to fall for horrible Phil. After that had inevitably ended in disaster, Emma had then inadvertently convinced Harriet to fall for someone equally unsuitable, only to turn around and take Grant for herself, leaving Harriet in the lurch yet again.

Despite it all, Emma still had hope for Harriet. Harriet had been upset and hurt by the Grant fiasco, but there didn't seem to be any permanent damage. And now Harriet was out with the one man that could possibly make everything better. All was not lost.

Emma couldn't help believing that this time, everything might just work out.

Taylor watched Emma shoveling the Thai noodles into her mouth with perplexity and a little disgust. They were on their weekly lunch date, this time a Thai restaurant. The place was nearly empty, and they could hear the twinkling water falling from the small fountain in the foyer and the idle conversation of the seating hostesses. Emma had picked it because she didn't want an audience eavesdropping on her conversation with Taylor, and she knew that this particular restaurant was never busy until the evening.

Taylor was watching Emma now with narrowed eyes as she gorged herself on her food. Emma was normally a dainty eater, and any etiquette teacher would have been appalled at the amount of food she was now shoveling into her mouth.

"Okay," Taylor said, laying down her fork. "You are acting like a maniac. You've eaten half of that plate already, and we only just got it. I know you're a nervous eater. What's going on?"

Emma chewed quickly and swallowed hard. She'd had a big enough mouthful to buy herself almost a minute of time to think while she chewed. She didn't know how her friend was going to react to the news she was about to tell her. The talk with Harriet had gone so surprisingly well that she could only hope for the same result from Taylor.

"ImdatingKnightley," she said quickly, so that it formed one, unintelligible word.

Taylor raised her eyebrow. "What now about Knightley?"

Emma took a deep breath. It was the moment of truth. She knew that Taylor liked Grant. She'd always said he was a wonderful man. At the same time, however, Taylor had never taken particularly well to any of Emma's flings throughout the years. She'd never actively disliked any of them, but she'd never expressed approval for any of them either. Would Taylor still like Grant once she knew that he was dating her best friend? More importantly, Emma didn't know how Taylor would react to her confessing actual feelings for someone. Especially when that someone was Grant.

"I'm dating Knightley," Emma said slowly, with trepidation. She looked at her friend anxiously, gauging Taylor's reaction.

Taylor rolled her eyes and picked up her water to take a sip. "It's about time," was all she said while Emma gaped.

After a moment of silence,Taylor gave her a scolding look. "I thought you had something serious to tell me. You had me all worried."

Emma let out a breath of air. "You're not surprised? I thought you would be blown away. I was pretty blown away when it happened." She narrowed her eyes. "Why aren't you surprised?"

Taylor laughed. "Anyone with eyes could have told you how much that boy feels for you. I knew it was just a matter of time until you realized it, too. Congratulations on finally nabbing him, but really, I had no idea it would take you this long."

Emma looked at her, happily outraged. "If you knew, why didn't you tell me?" She pouted. "You could have saved me a lot of trouble."

Taylor laughed, throwing her head back. "Emma, I learned a long time ago not to try to tell you anything. If I'd said something about what I thought you felt, you would have denied it and gotten mad. Tell Grant I said good luck in dealing with all your stubbornness."

Emma shook her head, but she knew Taylor was right. She had to come to the realization all on her own. She felt a sudden wave of happiness course through her. Never, in all her years of dating, had all her friends given her such unanimous support for her relationship. It seemed obvious that she had finally gotten something right with Grant.

"So how did this miracle finally take place?" Taylor asked, grinning. "Did you have a near death experience and realize how you felt? Or did Grant just get really drunk and finally confess everything to you?"

Emma threw her rolled up napkin at Taylor and gave her a scathing look. "Ouch. Thank you for thinking so highly of us."

Taylor dodged Emma's throw, laughing. "Kidding! I was only kidding." She smiled sweetly at Emma. "But really, I've been waiting for years for this to happen. Please give me the details."

Emma sighed, but she was itching to tell someone the minutia. She put down her fork, gearing up to tell the tale. She arched an eyebrow. "Well, Knightley and I were at the daycare…"

Emma tugged and kicked with her feet, pulling the sheet down away from her legs. She sighed loudly and scowled before she flopped her head against the pillow in agitation. She'd woken up sweating and feeling uncomfortably hot for the umpteenth morning in a row. The reason became obvious as she turned her head to the left and the curve of Grant's shoulder filled her vision. His breathing was deep and even and he seemed completely at peace, unlike Emma.

Sleeping next to him was like sleeping next to a volcano. The amount of heat he expended was unbelievable, and it made it impossible for Emma to fall back asleep. At some point during the night she had kicked off the comforter and other blankets, and now even without the sheet she was still sweating.

With another violent sigh, she gave it up as a lost cause and swung her legs off the bed. She stuffed her feet into slippers and padded out to the kitchen, blinking in the morning light. Emma stretched and yawned, musing. She was naturally an early riser and Grant was most certainly not. A real boyfriend would have woken up before her and brought her scrambled eggs and toast in bed, but she knew if she tried to wake Grant up right now he would just grunt for her to leave him alone. The early morning hours seemed to bring out the grouch in him.

Emma yawned again as she moved through the kitchen, grabbing coffee grounds and a filter. Her sure movements betrayed how well she knew the kitchen, even though it wasn't her own. She'd certainly spent enough time at Grant's. She was as comfortable there as she was in her own apartment.

It was almost frightening how easily their relationship had transitioned from friendship into something more. Serious dating wasn't anything like she'd expected, she thought, as she stared at the coffee maker, which was gurgling away. She didn't feel tied down or smothered. She wasn't sick of spending time with Grant or tired of seeing him every day. She didn't feel like she was giving up any part of herself or losing anything from her single life. On the contrary, she felt that she was learning more about herself, seeing her actions reflected through Grant.

The wonderful thing was that she and Grant had already been very close. She didn't have to worry about finding some deep character flaw in him or about not feeling comfortable enough to trust him. She already knew both the bad and the good in him. He was everything that he'd been as a friend, only more so.

Emma smiled, pulling out two bowls from the cabinet. It was a beautiful winter morning. A layer of frost covered the bottom portion of the windowpane, making Emma feel thankful that she'd be spending the day inside with Grant. With that thought, she turned her head toward the stove. The clock on the microwave said it was nearly 10:30, and Emma wasn't about to eat her cereal by herself; grouchy or not, she was going to wake him up.

She wandered back to the bedroom, whisking the curtains back from the window. The bright sunlight lit up the room, and Grant groaned, pulling her pillow over his face.

Despite the perks, dating someone wasn't all peaches and rosebuds, Emma thought, putting her hands on her hips. She narrowed her eyes before maneuvering the pillow out of his hands. He groaned again, covering his eyes with an arm.

It was difficult getting used to someone else's quirks and habits. Grant was still as infuriating, still as stubborn. He was still inclined to think he was right all the time, forcing Emma to continually make attempts to prove him wrong. Worst was when he was right. He never gloated the way Emma would have, but this lack of boasting made Emma equally as mad as if he had rubbed it in. Their disagreements seemed to have reached a new level of stupidity since they began dating. Despite it all, however, Emma wouldn't have traded having Grant in her life for anything. Although perhaps at the moment, he felt differently about having her in his.

In one swift motion, she'd pulled all the covers off of Grant to the edge of the bed.

"Emma," he growled, without moving.

Emma, in contrast, used her sweetest voice. "Knightley, I made us cereal. It's going to get soggy and disgusting unless you get up." She plopped down on the bed next to him, ruffling his hair.

He moved his arm to look at her with sleepy eyes. She gave him her most winsome smile. He shook his head, looking bemused. "You're not ever going to call me Grant, are you?" It wasn't a statement; he sounded certain.

Emma blinked, surprised. "What? I do," she insisted, but then she rolled her eyes. "Sometimes," she added as an afterthought.

Grant propped himself up on his elbows slightly, as though to emphasize his incredulous look. "That's completely false."

Emma huffed, standing up from the bed. "It is not. I do, too. I do," she added as he continued to look unconvinced.

He fell against the pillow again. "Right. Only when you're trying to get out of something you've done or when you think I'm mad at you."

Emma put her hands on her hips, but she stayed silent. She tapped her toe a few times on the floor, and after a moment, Grant moved his arm to cover his eyes again. Emma tossed her hair off her shoulder, moving toward the bedroom door. She turned back as she reached the frame.

"Grant," she said slowly, drawing his name out. "Do you want apple juice or orange juice?"

His eyes were hidden, but she watched the slow smile break across his face. After a moment he sat up fully for the first time, looking Emma over as she stood in the doorway wearing an oversized t-shirt and a particularly smug smile. She waggled her eyebrows up and down for emphasis. She turned on her toes before he had time to answer and headed for the kitchen.

He shook his head lightly in resignation.

"Orange juice," he finally called, swinging his long legs off the bed to follow Emma, and from her spot in the kitchen, Emma smiled.

AN: The End!

Thank you for reading and especially for reviewing. I loved writing this story, and I hope you loved reading it. I really appreciate all comments or criticisms.

I do have plans for a Persuasion based fic, but I have no idea when I'll get around to writing it. Probably in about 4 years in an attempt to avoid writing my dissertation...

'Til then