Last Thursday Reneseem woke up. she wolked oot of bedz an immediatellly waz zapped bai lightning. lol. she was rushed to the hospital by edwardz uber fast CGI graphics. Omg he's so damn sexy, that bish bella should nevar of gotten him…in fact…
suddenly edward swerved out of control and hit a trie. bella got her ugly fucking face smashed into fragmentz. she was killed so much that she died. lulz noa edwardz is all mine…
they got to the hospital just fine now that that deed weight bella was splattered all across the forest =). thay war quickly ushered into teh doctorz office.
"hello my name is Mister Doctor Person. (OMG I'M BAD AT NAMES DON'T JUDGE MY FIC TRUST ME IT GETS BETTER). "reneseem will be fine, she got some minor bruises and her left leg is fractured. it can easily be corrected by a lobotomy and removing her right pelvis."
"konichwai, you is awesome doctor. here, as a gift you can have this $100 Edward Christmas Stocking."
"OMG THANX. you just saved me from buying this worthless and overpriced piece of shit for my insane daughter."
they all shared a good laugh.
DRAMATIC PLOT TWIST
suddenly jacobs uber smexy army of werewolves attacked the hospital. dont worry, they all died of AIDs before they even got close to it, cause jacob is a fugly butt plumber (Suck it Team Jacob.)
OMG WAIT WE AREN'T DONE YET (LOL)
suddenly Count Dracula busted out of reneseem's flabby anus, giving her a stroke and killing her instantly.
dracula immediately began to beat the shit out of edward. he ripped out Edwards eyes with a spork, and fed them to his pet gold fish chester. in rage, he ripped off Edwards hands and beat him to death with it. while edward was twitching in a pool of his own fail, dracula shoved a stake through edwards penis.
"VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE!!" he roared.
suddenly south western korea launched nukes and destroyed every twilight character in exhistence. THE END
*omg guys, I have something to tell you. If I don't get 500 reviews by tonight, my left hand will explode. hav a hart, and send this to all your friends. thank you.*