Alright guys, this is the last chapter. While I was writing, it just kind of ended. I like where it went, this is probably one of my favorite chapters of them all; though I doubt anybody will feel the same.
Thanks for reading and reviewing guys! You made me happy on the inside!
There was lots of noise in the next little while. It was mostly just growling but there was a sound that was almost like metal being shredded or something as well. I must have been drifting in and out of consciousness, because though my eyes were adjusting to the light, everything was cloudy.
The air around me was getting way to hot, making it hard to breathe and making my eyes sting. I forced myself to blink; only my eyes must not have opened for awhile because the next thing I knew, I was lying in my bed in La Push.
I sat up quickly, looking around in confusion. My eyes circled around the whole room once before I saw it. I looked into the deep chocolate eyes of my savior, who had now saved my life in a total of three times. I could see the pain in his expression as he watched me, stared back into my eyes, though he didn't speak a word to me.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered, throwing the covers off and walking over to him. "Really I am… I shouldn't have… even if you weren't there… I should have known better than too…" I couldn't seem to finish my sentence. Couldn't get the right words out, didn't even know what the right words were.
His husky voice was cold as ice when he spoke back. "Yeah, you shouldn't have… but you did." He told me harshly, turning his gaze away from my eyes, staring at my feet now.
"I'm so sorry Jake, you've been nothing but good to me since that day I showed up on your doorstep," I blinked fiercely against the tears forming in my eyes.
"Bella, I don't know if I can keep doing this… watching you pine over the loss of your bloodsuckers," he wouldn't look at me anymore; he looked like he was trying to burn a hole in the floor with his eyes.
My heart squeezed with the pain of the dismissal I could feel coming. "Jake…" I said in a pathetic voice. "Jake you put me back together when he left broken pieces, please don't…" I was pleading now, would have been on my knees begging if my legs hadn't been frozen stiff.
"I may have put you back together Bells, but I can't hold you together all by myself. You aren't trying to help me anymore. You're falling apart more everyday and I can't bear to watch it."
"Jacob… I need you… You know me better than anybody else does, better than Charlie, better than Renee, hell, you know me better than Edward," I resisted the urge to flinch when I said his name.
"That could change. Bella I can't stay with you and watch you in that amount of pain. He's like a drug to you Bells. You need him in your life to survive, I can see that now."
"Don't you know drugs are bad Jake?" I said; my meager attempt at a joke. It didn't work though, tears streaming down my cheeks and my voice cracking left and right. "You're better for me; you're like the sunshine…"
"Bella…" was all he could say before he stood up and wrapped his huge arms around me, holding me tight to his chest.
There I stayed, crying against his chest. I knew what was coming. Jacob's clean break; he was going to leave me too, just like Edward did. Leave me all alone to try and work through this separation too. The hole ripped open in my chest, threatening to tear me apart.
"Can't I have both of you?" I managed to say in between sobs.
"Isabella you can't have both of us. Neither of us can accept being just friends with you. I'm not going to try and pressure you to pick me; I'm just telling you how it is. I won't hold anything against you if you don't pick me."
I pulled my head away from his chest and looked into his eyes. I didn't know how I was supposed to pick between Edward and Jacob. Edward who left me, or my Jacob. Edward had left to try and protect me from the danger he believed he was putting me in; Jacob had never left in the first place.
Jacob could see the indecision in my eyes. "Right, I'll leave…" he said gently. My arms tightened around him and I saw his concern as panic crossed my face. "Not far Bella. Just going to Sam's… let you think about it… I love you." His lips brushed my hair, and then the next thing I knew he was gone.
I had to pick between Edward and Jacob. My first love and my soul mate. I collapsed back against the bed and stared at the ceiling through blurred eyes. I didn't want to make this decision; I wanted them both.
Eventually I must have fallen asleep, but it wasn't peaceful. I was having nightmares again, dreaming of the same russet wolf I'd seen the first night on the beach with Jacob. I was dreaming of my pale skinned vampires, protecting me time and time again.
I saw myself along with them, pale, topaz eyes, beautiful. There wasn't the same draw to this future that I had before Edward left me. That long ago it seemed like the only option; to become a vampire and live with Edward forever. But there was a new option now, to stay with Jacob and live with my loveable giant wolf forever. This one had a stronger pull, like that was what I needed.
I sat up suddenly in shock. My dreams had made it clear. At one point there was no way I could live without Edward and the rest of the Cullen's. But when he left me, left me bleeding; Jacob fixed me back up. He waited patiently for me to be able to love him, and then we lived happily ever after. That had left its mark on me, and now I realized, I needed Jacob more than I needed anything else in the world. There was no way I could live without my personal sunshine.
I ran into the kitchen as fast as I could without breaking any bones and picked up the phone dialing Jacob's cell.
"Jake" I whispered when he answered. "You are my life, my world, the entirety of my existence, my personal sunshine."
"Bells… are you sure?" Jake asked, sounding hesitant. "It's only been like, 2 hours…"
"I need you Jacob. There's no way I can live without you, please come home now?" I pleaded. I needed his strong arms around me again.
"I'll be home as soon as possible…" he said and hung up without waiting for me to say anything.
I sat in a kitchen chair and smiled at the wall, waiting for him to come home. I knew now that I hadn't settled for second best in any way, shape, or form. Jacob was my number one, the best thing that I could have asked for, and I was lucky to get to keep him.
Jacob flew through the door in record time, sweeping me up in his arms and kissing me passionately on the lips. I kissed him back, my arms tight around his neck. He pulled back suddenly to look at me, curiosity in his eyes. "Are you positive that this is what you want Bella? That I'm what you want?"
I grinned at him and pecked him on the lips once. "So far past positive there isn't even a word for it. You are mine Jacob Black… Always and Forever."