I do not own Naruto.

Never Let It Take You! Live To Prove It Wrong! Break It In Half!

You know, once upon a time, I rode that edge.

The day started out normally I guess, I woke up, went to the academy, ignored what Iruka was droning on about, and sat on the swing while I watched the parents greeting their children.

I wanted that so badly. I wanted to feel my mom hug me. I wanted my dad to muss my hair and tell me he was proud. I wanted a sibling. I wanted grandparents. I wanted cousins, aunts, uncles. I wanted a family.

I got off the swing and walked away before the depressing thoughts of what I wished I could have killed my determination not to cry.

I really should have stayed... then again...

I ate at Ichiraku's for dinner then decided to go to one of the Academy standard training grounds. These were set apart from the other training grounds so that Academy students could use them without the fear of getting into way of registered ninja and still sharpen their skills.

I apparently did this too often because they were there waiting for me.

There were thirty of them. Mostly civilians with grudges of some kind that I could not yet fathom. There were a few ninja among them though.

The ninja over powered me and broke my legs so I couldn't run. The nin then sat back and let the civilians beat me.

They screamed with rage, shouted about lost daughters and sons. Stabbed me in the name of husbands and wives. Punched, kicked, whipped me for the sake of fathers and mothers.

One had brought screws and jabbed them into my arms. He smiled with sadistic glee as he ripped them out and some of my blood splashed on his face.

The pain seemed to go on for hours. They never stopped screaming, punching, kicking, or stabbing. If it wasn't for the inmate I now know I have, I would have been dead hundreds of times over.

Finally the crowd began to leave. I had stopped feeling the pain about an hour before. I hadn't yet blacked out, I couldn't.

One of the ninja walked up to me. He looked at me with indifference in his brown eyes.

"You deserved this, you know," he said to me, "but at least your torment is over, little monster. You will never feel pain again." And he brought a weapon towards my head. After that I knew only darkness.

I had expected that I died.

When I heard the EKG machine beeping I knew I was wrong.

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. In my peripherals I could see the Hokage and a doctor, but I didn't even try to move my eyes let alone turn my head to meet his gaze.

"Naruto," the Hokage began, "I'm so very sorry. I should've have run quicker. I should have kept a guard detail on you. I should have..." I tuned him out. I just couldn't force myself to care. Not anymore. It just wasn't worth it.

At the moments my notation of time disappeared. I don't even know how long I was like that, I've never asked and never will. All I remember about that time was the ceiling. The ceiling and the whispers.

I could hear them whispering, all of them, all of Konoha. I could hear their glee in each syllable of each word. I could taste their hope that I would die in that hospital bed, or at least would stay as I was. I could feel the rage of those who weren't able to aide in my torture.

I could hear the whispers of the nurses, arguing over who was supposed to check on me that day. None wanted the job. A doctor had to force their hand each time, and an ANBU had to force the doctor's hand in treating me.

Finally, the day came that the casts left my legs.

A nurse used a cutting tool to remove the plaster.

In the middle of it she was called away to a more important patient. For the first time in the eternity I had stayed in that room I moved. I sat up and rested my eyes on the blade she had left. My fingers slowly wrapped around it's handle and brought it before my eyes.

I could still hear the whispering. The message hadn't changed.

Then something in me snapped. I could see what would happen if I ended it. I saw the happiness and joy that my death would bring the people of the Leaf. I saw the good that would come from my end.

"...no."

I became enraged. My grip on the blade tightened to the point that my knuckles turned white.

"No..."

The anger bubbled forth inside me and screamed at me. Told me that I was being a coward. That I was giving them what I wanted. That I was letting the will of others take me.

"No."

Told me that I was letting them dictate who I was. Letting them tell me what to do.

"No!"

That I was letting the pain maintain it's control!

"NooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

My scream rocked the hospital, no, the entire village. I could be heard in every corner of every street. In every shadow and ever den.

Never let it take you! Something inside shouted at me. I know now that it wasn't the Fox. He wouldn't have cared if I had been depressed or not as long as he lived.

Live to prove it wrong! No, this was my mother and my father. This was my brother and my sister. My grandparents, my aunts, my uncles. They were all yelling.

BREAK IT IN HALF!!

The very next day I painted the faces on the Hokage monument. I did it to show them that no matter how hard they tried I wouldn't simply roll over and die. I did it to show that I would never be what they expected.

I did because that ninja was wrong. I will feel pain again. I'll feel it a lot. But when I do, when it comes back to destroy me, to take me, to eat my soul...

" I'll break it in half!"

+---End---+

A/N: I needed to write this because everybody has had that time where they thought suicide might be worth it. Mine was just before I wrote this.

AND IT PISSED ME OFF! How could I have been so weak?! Never Again! I wont allow it! I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF!