Author's Note:

Sorry, I had writers block but I have finally decided how I'm going to have events play out. On with the Chapter!

Christine232

Chapter 8

Madonna Condoms and Gnomes Oh my!

Bella's POV

Just as the worker sped around the corner, the loud speaker cam on. Suddenly Jasper fell and screamed as he went into the fetal position. 'NO! NO! NOT THE VOICES! I WON'T GO WITH YOU GNOMES!' Jasper screamed high pitch-edly, his voice breaking at the end. Next thing I knew Jessica was kneeling by Jasper,leaning over him, almost protectively.

'You hear them too?' Jessica asked, breathless.

Jasper didn't miss a beat. 'They want to take me. I don't want to go!' Jasper yelled turning hysterical at the end, his voice breaking.

'You don't have to go'

'There going to get you' Jasper mumbled.

'No! They won't...'

'That's what they said...'

'I have to go! Uh... Bye!' Jessica yelled.

Edward's POV

As Jessica ran off I heard in her thoughts, They're after me! I have to hide in my backyard bunker! I can stay there for about a week! Is that long enough?...

Rosalie's POV

Okay weird much? God some people... Hey where's Emmett and the dog?

'Hey did anyone see where Emmett and the dog went?

Edward's POV

Hey Eddie we're in the auto department! Tell Alice to bring her camera! I heard Emmett think before he began singing 'Barbie Girl' in his head loudly.

'They're in the auto department. Alice he said to bring your camera.' I said as I grabbed my Bella's hand before starting to walk off.

Emmett's POV

Hahaha! They are so going to laugh their butts off! I thought as I grabbed the biggest funnels I could find.

Bella's POV

As I turned the corner, I couldn't help but laugh. Emmett had 2 huge funnels stuffed up his shirt and was trying to flirt with a very creeped out mechanic. Jake was around the corner, his hands interlaced into a finger gun. As he walked over to us he dodged his way around things to not let the mechanic see him while he hummed the mission impossible theme as loud as possible.

'You have beautiful eyes,' Emmett said while fluttering his eyelashes at the mechanic.

I couldn't stop laughing! The mechanic began to reach for the phone. 'Dude, I swear leave now or I'll call. I swear I will!'

'Fine sweety but I'll be back my love!' Emmett said as he walked away from the counter.

'Alice please tell me you got that on camera!' Emmett and I said as the same time.

'Don't worry I did! I also got Jasper's breakdown' Alice said. In the corner of my eye I saw Jake disappear around the corner, but let it go.

'Edward, sorry but I need a human moment.' I said, keeping my hair in my face and not looking into his liquid gold eyes.

'Okay, we'll be here' he said releasing my hand. I turned down the corner that Jake had and turned just in time to see him turn into the pharmacy. I moved as stealthy as I could but I ended up kicking the aisle and knocking over several pill bottles and almost fell on my face before Jake caught me.

'Jake what are you doing?'

'Number 15' he answered as he grabbed several boxes of condoms. 'Want to help?' he asked as he smiled a mischievous smile.

Edward's POV

'Jake what are you doing?'

'Number 15. Want to help?'

I looked to my left and right and didn't see Jake or Bella. Oh crap! was my only thought.

'Alice what is number 15?'

the condom one, she thought

Bella's POV

Jake and I dropped half of the boxes into 1 person's basket and watched as the cashier's eyes went wide at the old woman who was pressing in her pin code. We were still laughing when everyone walked up. 'You missed it!' I said between laughs.

'There's only one thing left to do. Code 3. We need a walmart vest' Alice said as she got out here camera. Emmett ran at vampire speed and within seconds returned, vest in hand.

'Okay anything else?'

'Okay we're ready' Alice said as she turned her camera on.

Author's Note

I have finally decided what Code 3 will mean and it is hilarious! 15 reviews to the next chapter!

Christine232