Title: Isn't It Enough
Summary: "If you're apologizing, isn't it enough if I just forgive you?"
Notes: I like Rena JUST because of her song, Dear You –cry-, so I wrote this.
-X-X-X-X-X-
She wasn't speaking loud, rather, whispering as quietly as she could when she wired the bomb. She knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but they were against her, plotting to kill her and expose her secret to everyone. The only one she could trust was Keiichi, but he had defended the girl who started all of this, the girl who still pretended to be her friend, trying to lure her into a false sense of security and then she would strike from the shadows, shrieking laughter echoing through the town. Laughter, sound far too reminiscent of screaming, screams that she herself would utter, loud and as piercing as the very knife that would be used to slit her throat, transformed into dying gargles…
…And so she continued her task, still whispering to herself, almost crying as her fingers expertly connected the necessary components, even while the wind numbed her hands beyond all feeling. Despite never having done this before, she knew exactly what to do and how to do it, almost as if a force was guiding her. As the bomb wiring neared completion, her whispers became more frantic and desperate, standing out clear and articulate amongst her choking sobs.
She wasn't sure exactly who she was talking to, but it was all she could say. Repeating the same sentence over and over again, she knew her pupils were narrowing as she grew more agitated. Her neck itched but she didn't dare abandon her endeavour for fright of failing and the dread rising in her throat.
She didn't want to see the blood.
They said it was blood, but it wasn't. She could see the writhing white carrion devourers on the floor, and she knew they were a result of her wounds. They were within her, feeding on her dying insides and gnawing away at her soul. It frightened her, and she whispered the words faster than before, her eyes widening in fear and she could feel the maggots squeezing their way out of the narrow fingernail scratches.
Keiichi said he would protect her. They all did, but they lied. They lied about something else too, but she couldn't remember what it was or where she was when she witnessed the lying. All she remembers was standing there, her eyes fixated on the boy fidgeting nervously as she questioned him with more calm than she felt, smiling as if It didn't matter, though her eyes were piercing and malicious. Then as she grew frustrated at his denials, she screamed as loud as she could, her entire face now matched her anger.
"YOU'RE LYING!"
As her voice reverberated through the environment, the cicadas began singing, almost mimicking her outburst. Keiichi's face was the portrayal of shock, and she calmed down again. It doesn't really matter anyway, She thought, returning her face to a happy and carefree mask. It's all for nothing in the end.
And so, as the setting and configuring of the timer on the explosives finished, Ryuuguu Reina stood up on the roof, staring down at what she'd accomplished. She'd made it easy to de-activate, but she didn't know why. She wanted to kill them all, so why give them an easy way out?
But it wouldn't be easy, she decided. Oyashiro-sama would stop them, and then everything would be okay and no-one would lie. Everyone would learn to be honest, and that friends are friends, no matter who they are or what someone else says, apart from Mion. Mion has lied too many times, and she won't lie any more. Mion will be the one to suffer the most, so that she learns not to lie next time in this looping, eternal June.
She didn't notice her whispers were slowing down, the phrase dying on her lips. She felt like they would forgive her anyway, that she would be fine and everything would return to the way it was. She would go rummaging through the trash mountain for Ken-chan and she wouldn't bring the cleaver this time so Keiichi wouldn't feel the need to research the incident, and she would kill the woman before that for being a liar. The times where they were innocent would renew themselves, and the paranoia would set in again. But this time, it wasn't going to be her. She would stick by her friends that would still be her friends so nothing would go wrong.
She closed her eyes and felt the wind of night blow against her face and scatter the trails of tears down her face, and she imagined that each droplet was an alternate reality, and she could almost see the outcomes of each one. Keiichi would like Mion, or he would like Satoko or he would like Shion. The outcomes were many and numerous, but there was no happy ending for her in these worlds. The inevitability of her torment bore down on her, and she smiled sadly, thinking how nice it would be to at least go with a bang; literally. As she opened her eyes, she realized she was imagining these worlds. There was hope yet, if she could just…
If she said it enough, maybe she would be forgiven. Maybe Oyashiro-sama would accept her words and leave her alone. So she sank to her knees on the roof and wrapped her arms around herself to shield herself from the sharp chill of the nighttime.
"I'm sorry…" She said softly, closing her eyes and weeping. "I'm sorry…"
The words carried off into the night sky, never losing their coherence, and somewhere, Meabara Keiichi opened his eyes on the first day of June, feeling the sun break through the window of the train, he wondered if forgiving the person who was saying this was enough to end her suffering.