AN: First off this is NOT slash. (I don't do slash) Just humor and brotherly bonding. Also I think I made the Pevensies a just a tad OOC at some parts but the thing is, the pevensies weren't saints they had to have acted like normal teenagers at least some of the time. And I KNOW this is mostly just talking back and forth. that's the way I felt like writting it. This is just a one-shot that sorta popped into my head, nothing fancy. I hope you enjoy it.

"Ow!" Edmund exclaimed as five boys lifted him up and hurled him into the janitor's closet. "Let's me go!" He kicked at the one nearest to him.

Usually his boarding school wasn't so bad. Not like the stories he had heard of the place where his cousin Eustace went. But it could be rather dog-eat-dog sometimes. Before going to Narnia, Edmund had dealt with it by being a jerk and bullying anyone smaller than him but after fifteen years as just king, he'd long left that part of himself behind. Now he was actually helping children that he used to beat up. Which was why he was now being shoved into the closet against his will. Some of the bullies had been picking on a younger boy who was on the verge of tears. Edmund stuck up for him and now the other boys were ticked.

"That'll teach him!" The leader of the boys said as they locked Edmund in.

Wandering the dark closet, Edmund banged into something that let out an, "Oof!"

"Who's there?" Edmund gasped in shock.

"Ed?" The voice sounded very familiar.

"Peter?" Edmund wondered what his elder brother was doing in there. It was too dark to see anything so reach out to feel his way towards the sound of Peter's voice. "Ew this mop is soaking wet."

Peter shoved him away. "Edmund, that's my hair!"

"What's this then?" Edmund poked at something in confusion.

"Ow! That would be my eyeball." Peter whimpered, putting his hand to his eye.

"Sorry, Pete." Edmund apologized, taking a few steps to the left of him. "What happened to you?"

"Jerry Blink shoved my head in the toilet and then he and his friends locked me in here." Peter explained bitterly.

"Jerry Blink?" Edmund sounded like he was thinking hard about something. "Isn't he Ronnie Blink's older brother?"

"I think so." Peter shrugged. "Why?"

"Because Ronnie's the one who shoved me in here." Edmund told him.

"This is pathetic." Peter mumbled. "We were kings of Narnia and yet we don't win any battles here."

"That's because Ronnie plays dirty." Edmund pointed out. "Last week he pulled my underwear over my head! I can't fight if I can't see who I'm trying to hit."

"I hate school." Peter grumbled.

"I thought you loved it." Edmund said.

"That was before Jerry Blink became my roommate and found a letter from Lucy in which she calls me 'high king'." Peter explained, grinding his teeth. "Now he and his friends wont leave me alone."

"Well he can't be as bad as his little brat of a brother." Edmund insisted. "Three days ago, Ronnie threw me in the garbage can and tied the lid on."

"At least Ronnie doesn't brag about how many girls he's dating." Peter said, feeling around the closet hoping to find a light. "Jerry once dated seven girls at the same time and none of them knew he was a lousy cheat."

"Only seven?" Edmund didn't sound impressed. "I heard it was eight."

"Well some people did say it was seven in a half."

"By the Lion, how do you date half a girl?" Edmund exclaimed in disbelief.

"Beats me." Peter shrugged his shoulders.

"I can't wait for the holidays." Edmund groaned.

"Me either." Peter sighed.

"Do you want to be the first one to start screaming for help?" Edmund asked him.

"No you can go first." Peter said, trying to take his foot out of a bucket it had gotten stuck in. "I'm not in a hurry, I already turned my book report in."

"Why don't we start at the same time?" Edmund offered.

"Works for me." Peter agreed. "On the count of three."

"One." Edmund started.

"Two." Peter added.

"Three!" Edmund finished.

They both started slamming their fists against the door. "Let us out!"

Two hours later, the janitor finally came by and let them out.

Finally the holidays came and Peter and Edmund were safely at home with their loving family. They'd long forgotten about their school bullies when one morning the door-bell rang.

"I'll get it!" Edmund called walking over to the door humming a little to himself. He opened it, saw who it was, and slammed it shut.

They rang the bell again. Edmund sighed and opened the door a crack. Ronnie stood there on the porch glaring at him.

"What do you want?" Edmund demanded.

"Don't worry freak, I'm not here to beat you up." Ronnie sneered.

Edmund noticed that Ronnie was holding a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolate. "You do realize that valentine's day isn't for eight months, right?"

"Shut up." Ronnie snapped, stamping his foot on the ground. "I'm only here because I'm looking for the girl my brother is going out with tonight. He wanted me to give her these. I must have gotten the wrong address."

"Well goodbye then." Edmund started to close the door again.

"Who's at the door?" Susan asked, walking towards them.

"No one." Edmund would have gotten the door closed if Ronnie hadn't stuck his foot in it.

"Do you know where Susan from St. Finbar's school lives?" Ronnie leaned in and asked her.

"That's me." Susan told him.

"These are for you." Ronnie blurted out, thrusting the flowers and candy at her. "Jerry says he'll be here at eight."

"Tell him I'll be ready." Susan said, looking at the card pinned to the roses. "He is so sweet."

Edmund let out a snort as he slammed the door in Ronnie's face. Then he turned to Susan. "Since when are you going out with Jerry Blink?"

"Edmund, why were you so rude to that poor boy?" Susan glared at him. "He came all this way..."

"That 'poor boy' is a little beast and his brother is a pig." Edmund said, getting rather overwhelmed. "You can't go out with him."

"Edmund, you don't know him as well as I do." Susan said firmly. "Jerry's a nice guy."

Edmund frowned at her. "He's Rabadash with lighter skin and more hair gel!"

"He is not." Susan insisted, getting rather pouty by this point. "Look, I know I haven't make the best choices as far as boys lately but I really think you should trust me on this."

"Alright, let's just say you managed to talk me into letting you go out with him." Edmund said, thinking that the only way that would ever happen would be if a safe or piano happened to fall on his head. "You know who would have a fit?"

"Who?" Susan seemed genuinely confused.

"I'll show you." Edmund strolled over to the staircase and shouted, "Peter, Susan's going out with Jerry Blink tonight!"

"Over my dead body!" Peter's voice roared back.

Susan moved Edmund out of the way and shouted up the stairs, "Peter, what is your problem?"

"My problem is Jerry!" Peter's voice shouted.

"You're not the boss of who I go out with!" Susan shouted, this time a little too close to Edmund's ear.

"Ow!" Edmund cringed.

Peter came storming down the stairs so he could yell at his sister in person. "Su, I know him. He's a slimy little Wesel. He once dated seven girls at the same time."

"Eight." Edmund fake-coughed.

"Seven and a half." Peter rolled his eyes.

Susan crinkled her forehead. "How did he date half a girl?"

"I don't know!" Peter snapped throwing his hands in the air out of frustration. "But the point is that you can't see him."

"You just don't like him." Susan huffed. "This is just like the time you didn't want me to court that duke because he beat you at a chess game."

"Actually, I'm the one he beat at a chess game." Edmund cut in.

"Look, Peter." Susan said pleading, ignoring Edmund. "I really, really like him. If he's no good, I can find out for myself."

"No you can't." Peter said gently, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Remember what happened with Rabadash? You completely trusted him and he let you down. You really want to make that mistake again?"

"It's not like that." Susan said sort of quietly. "Can't you just be happy for me?"

"Because I know Jerry-he's my roommate, Susan-I know things about him that would make you shudder." Peter's tone was gentle now. "I don't want him anywhere near my baby sister."

Susan shook her head and brushed his hand off her shoulder. "I'm not a baby, Peter. Go fawn over Lucy and leave me alone."

"You are not going out with him and that is final." Peter said in a very parental voice.

"Mum and Dad already said I could go." Susan informed him. "And I'm going."

"I forbid it." Peter said, ignoring the fact that now that they were back in England, Mum and Dad could over rule him.

"Um, Peter..." Edmund grabbed onto his arm and tried to pull him into another room. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Not now, Ed." Peter snapped, staring at Susan's unmoving face angrily. "I'm in the middle of telling Sus-"

"I know!" Edmund growled, yanking him away from Susan at last.

"What do you want?" Peter demanded as his younger brother shoved him against the wall.

"Are you out of your mind?" Edmund hissed.

"No, but Susan is if she thinks even for a moment that I would let her date that no good toad-faced-" Peter started on his I-Hate-Jerry speech.

"Peter!" Edmund grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "Don't you get it? Forbidding Susan to date him is only going to make her want to date him even more."

"That's crazy." Peter rolled his eyes. "Susan has more sense than that."

Edmund looked at his brother like he was insane, let go of him, and folded his arms across his chest. "I seem to remember Susan liking Rabadash a lot more after you told her you didn't approve of him."

Peter winced. "Oh no." He buried his face in his hands.

"What are we going to do?" Edmund asked him.

"Let her go." Peter said, a smile starting to form on his face.

"Who are you and what have you done with my brother?" Edmund asked.

"Trust me on this." Peter's smiled widened.

"I'm serious." Edmund took a few steps back. "Who are you?"

"We let her go...and follow them." Peter explained with a short eye roll.

"Oh, Phew." Edmund looked relieved. "You had me scared for a minute there."

That night, the door bell rang. This time, Lucy answered it.

"Out of the way, shrimp." Jerry stepped into the house, shoving his way passed the stunned little queen.

Lucy didn't know what Susan was thinking dating that nasty little beast. She hoped they'd break up soon.

"Where's Susan?" Jerry snapped, looking at his watch. "We agreed on seven sharp."

Very soon.

Lucy frowned at him. "She'll be down in a second."

"Whatever. Get out of my face." Jerry was about to shove her out of the way again when Susan arrived on the stair case. As soon as he saw her, he put his arm around Lucy's shoulders and quickly said, "And remember sweetie, study rhymes with buddy." He looked up at Susan and smiled. "Oh you have the cutest little sister."

Peter walked into the room and lifted Jerry's arm off of Lucy. Jerry saw him and looked very confused.

"What are you doing here?" Jerry demanded, shocked to see his much-hated roommate standing in his date's house.

"I'm Susan's brother." Peter hissed, his eyes flashing angrily. If looks could kill, Jerry would have been a goner.

"Alright, we should go." Susan said quickly, matching down the stairs heading straight for the door.

Edmund and Peter watched from the window as Susan got into Jerry's car.

"I hate him...I hate him...I hate-" Peter hissed.

"Let me guess." Edmund pointed out the window. "Him."

Peter put his hand into his pocket and pulled out his father's car keys. "Let's go."

Meanwhile, Lucy was in the back of their father's car because she thought she had left her notebook in the back seat. She couldn't believe Susan was making the same stupid mistake in England that she had made in Narnia. Hadn't she learned anything? It was as if Narnia was nothing but a game to her the way she treated the lessons she'd learned from it. Ugh, where was that notebook? Lucy realized it must have gotten stuck under the seat. She crawled further into the car and bend down trying to reach the little piece of cardboard she could only hope was the cover her the notebook she was looking for. It was too far in, she had to get all the way in the car and pull herself onto the floor. Now she could reach it.

Suddenly she heard Edmund's voice say, "Why is the back door of the car open?"

"I don't know, just close it and hurry up before they get too far ahead to catch up with. We're going to have to break the speed limit as it is!" Peter's voice answered back snappishly.

"Alright, alright." Edmund growled, slamming the door shut. "Mr. Magnificent to the rescue."

"Don't talk to me like that when I'm this worked up." Peter warned him. "That Jerry is lucky I don't have my sword here in England. He'd be in the hospital now if..."

"Let's just get in the car." Edmund groaned, opening the door on the passenger seat.

"Fine." Peter opened his own door and got in.

Lucy was just about to sit up and tell them that she was in the back when Peter started the car and put his foot on the gas petal. He car zoomed and swerved so much that Lucy was thrown to the other side.

"Whoa." She whimpered, trying to get a grip on the edge of one of the seats so she could pull herself up.

"What was that?" Edmund asked.

"What was what?" Peter drove through a red light.

"I thought I heard a whimper." Edmund told him.

"I didn't hear anything." Peter shrugged.

"Pete, this isn't America, here we drive on the other side of the road." Edmund warned him.

"Shut up." Peter growled, making another sharp turn. "I'm trying to see if that's their car over there."

Lucy banged her knee cap on a plastic cup someone had left on the car floor. "Ouch."

"Peter, I think there's something in the back seat." Edmund told him.

"Sure fine, whatever you say." Peter said absent mindedly.

"You're not even listening to me." Edmund frowned.

"Of course I am!" Peter lied. "You said 'Back seat'."

"Forget it." Edmund sighed.

"I hate this." Peter told him. "I hate having to follow Susan and I hate her for making us do it by dating that creep and I hate-"

Edmund reached under the car seat and pulled out a notebook.

Hey, that's mine! Lucy thought, feeling rather frustrated by this point.

He started writing something down.

"What are you doing?" Peter asked, making yet another hard turn.

Lucy thought she was going to be sick. She got car sick when they drove normally. Now she was probably going to barf as soon as they stopped.

"I'm making a list of the things you hate." Edmund informed him.

"Why?" Peter crinkled his forehead.

"So I can show it to my future nieces and nephews when they're teenagers, thus causing them to lose any respect for you they might have." Edmund joked.

"Not funny." Peter grabbed the notebook out of Edmund's hands and flung it to the back, unknowingly hitting Lucy in the head.

"Ow." Lucy moaned.

"I think there's a stray cat in the back or something." Edmund told Peter.

"We're got getting a cat." Peter said, only half-listening. "Lucy would cuddle it to death."

"I give up!" Edmund groaned, folding his arms across his chest.

"Found them!" Peter pointed out the window to Jerry's car which was backing up into a dance club.

"Oh, I love that place!" Edmund gasped excitedly.

"Keep your mind on the job." Peter told him, slamming his foot on the brakes, knocking a hapless Lucy forward again.

Edmund continued to look out the window. "Hey the bouncer's letting them in." He motioned to Susan and Jerry who were now entering the dance club.

"Let's go." Peter said.

"Pete, we can't park here." Edmund warned him.

"Why not?" Peter demanded.

Edmund pointed to a large sign that said, 'You Park here, you die'

"Look, we have to keep an eye on Susan tonight and we can do that if she's in there and we're out here." Peter pointed out in a frustrated tone.

"Well if we get the car towed dad will kill us thus making the prediction on that sign come true." Edmund raised an eyebrow at him.

"Fine, fine." Peter gave in and started the car up again.

"Pe-" Lucy had finally regained her composure enough to try and talk to her brothers when Peter's foot went down on the gas again and she threw up on the floor.

"Ed, did you just let one go?" Peter gasped, taking one hand off the steering wheel and putting it to his nose.

"It wasn't me, I swear." Edmund promised.

"Well roll down the window." Peter choked, coughing so hard he thought his lungs would fall out.

Edmund reached to the lower end of the car door and tried to get it to wind down. Suddenly, the handle broke. "Oops." He looked up at his brother guiltily.

"I. Hate. My. Life." Peter said each word slowly and sharply.

"Right now I don't like mine so much either." Edmund groaned, putting his hand over his nose.

When they finally found a place to park, Peter and Edmund opened the doors and jumped out of the car. A very worn out and dazed Lucy climbed out of the back seat and followed close behind them.

"We're with the boy and girl you just let in." Peter told the large grumpy-faced bouncer.

"Get lost." The bounce growled.

Edmund's face fell. "But that's not fair."

"I don't have to be fair, I have the pretty rope!" The bouncer snapped the rope's clasp back in place.

"My good sir," Peter said in a gentle tone. "Do you have a little sister?"

"Yes." The bouncer growled.

"If she was on a date with someone you knew was bad news, wouldn't you do anything to protect her?" Peter gave him a hopeful smile.

"God no." the bouncer looked horrified. "I hate my sister, she's always asking me for money."

"Way to go, Pete." Edmund whispered in his brother's ear.

"Would you believe we were with the band?" Peter tried.

"No!" the bouncer boomed.

"Would you believe it for ten pounds?" Edmund took some money out of his pocket and placed it on the man's clip board.

The bouncer removed the bar-off rope. "Come on in."

"Ed, why do I get the feeling this is not the first time you've been here?" Peter laugh-whispered.

Edmund turned a little red in the face. "Because it's the fifth time I've been here?"

Peter shook his head and laughed again. "Alright, let's see if we can find Susan."

On her hands and knees, Lucy crawled passed the rope trying to keep up with her brothers.

Walking into the dark club Peter squinted hard at the dance floor. "I can't see her, do you see her?"

"I think that's her and Jerry over there but I can't tell." Edmund informed him pointing to the other side of the room.

Peter got down on his hands and knees. "Quick stand on my back and look."

Edmund climbed onto his brother's back, stood on his tip toes and squinted. "It's them!"

"What are they doing?" Peter asked.

"I think he's trying to kiss her." Edmund growled angrily. "If I was a foot taller..."

"I'd need a chiropractor." Peter gasped, swaying a little. "Get off before you break my back!"

"You're the one who told me to get on." Edmund reminded him.

"Peter!" Lucy tried to call over to her brother. Suddenly a group of overly-cheerful teenagers pulled her up onto their shoulders singing, 'For She's a Jolly good Fellow', and started walking toward the other end of the club. Lucy wasn't sure if she should be flattered or afraid.

"Alright, let's break up this little love fest." Peter started matching through the dance floor with Edmund close behind, headed straight for Jerry and Susan.

Suddenly someone grabbed him by the shirt collar. "Listen here, either you're dancing or else you're not and if you're not, get off the dance floor."

"Alright fine, I'm dancing." Peter did something vaguely resembling an Irish dance step, skipping over to Edmund, grabbing him by the shoulder. "Looks like we're dancing."

They started doing dance moves in one general direction trying to get closer to Susan.

"Tons of pretty girls here and I'm dancing with my brother, what's wrong with this picture?" Edmund grumped as he grabbed onto his brother's hand.

"Alright, on the count of three we start bouncing, towards that end of the dance floor." Peter told him as he spun him around.

"This is humiliating." Edmund hissed.

"Remember, we're doing this for Susan." Peter reminded him.

"Who by the way just slapped Jerry across the face." Edmund announced.

"Get out!" Peter let go of his brother, causing him to fall into the floor.

"Susan, please I can explain!" Jerry cried.

"Forget it!" Susan stomped on his foot. "Next time plan at least an hour between dates you jerk!"

"Ow!" Jerry started hopping up and down on one foot.

"Wait, I thought his next date wasn't until eleven." Peter said flatly.

"I may have made a call." Edmund admitted.

Peter slapped him upside the head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Congratulations!" A tall middle-aged man with an overly cheerful voice announced, thrusting a trophy into Edmund's arms. "You won!"

"What did I win?" Edmund asked.

"You and the tall blond fellow just won the annual random dance contest!" The man bellowed much too loudly, causing Susan to see them and come over.

Peter walked over to Susan. "Look, before you say anything..."

Susan threw her arms around her elder brother and hugged him. "You were right."

"I'm sorry Su but it was for your own-what did you say?" Peter looked taken aback both by the hug and by her kind words.

"You were right and I knew it." Susan confessed. "I just went out with him because I was tired of you always telling me what to do. Look...I'm really sorry."

"So his other date showed up, thanks to Edmund." Peter didn't know what else to say.

"That's not why I broke up with him." Susan explained.

"It's not?" Peter looked confused. "Then why-"

"I found out what he did to you at school..." Susan explained. "I was just about to break up with him when his other date showed up. That made me even more upset with him and so I just went with it."

"Look, next time you have a date maybe I should be a bit calmer." Peter offered. "I just didn't want-"

"I know." Susan said kindly. "It's alright. Let's go home."

"Alright then. Come on Edmund." Peter realized Edmund wasn't there. "Ed?" He looked around.

Edmund was standing in the middle of a group of clapping people, holding up his dancing trophy and getting a little misty-eyed. "I would like to thank everyone I've ever met...by name...Mum, Dad, Peter, Susan, Lucy, Mr. Tumnus, the beavers, Cor, Aravis, Corin..."

Peter grabbed Edmund by the collar. "Come on, let's go!"

"Peter!" Lucy came running towards her brother.

"Lucy, what in the world are you doing here?" Peter asked, racing over to his youngest sister.

"Long story." Lucy moaned. "Can we please go home now?"

"Sure." Peter took the car keys out of his pocket.

As they walked out of the club, towards were they had parked, they saw that they were now blocked in.

"Aw, man!" The four of them exclaimed at once.

AN: alright I know it's a little goofy but did you like it? Please review!