A/N: Pure Cartman/Kyle fluff. There seems to be a lack of it on FFnet, because it's hard to make sure that they're in character while making it cute. I tried my best!

A/N 2: No long backstory, just cuteness. You can guess at how they got together yourself. : )

Warning

Lots of - swearing

mentions of sex

hot sweaty boys arguing

hot sweaty boys cuddling

antisemitism

general naughtiness your parents would prefer you didn't read

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Kyle sighed as they lay in the afterglow of one, as Cartman put it, "amazing lay". He shivered as the cool night air from Cartman's open window hit his bare chest. He got up to close it in all his nakedness, and Cartman stared.

Shit, I just fucked that, he thought as he looked at Kyle's pale body and then smirked. God, I am so fucking super badass cool.

Kyle was struggling with one of the windows, because it was locked at the top. He looked over his shoulder and said, "Cartman, your window won't close. A little help?" and rolled his eyes when he saw him grinning like a fool. "Yeah, ha ha, let's all laugh at the Jew's freckles. Now get off of your fat ass and help me. I'm freezing!"

Cartman just lay there, with that stupid smirk on his face, obviously not hearing or, more likely, ignoring what the Jew was saying. Kyle rolled his eyes again and walked back to the bed, the cold breeze still blowing inside the room.

Cartman's stare followed him and settled on his face when he lay down on the bed again next to him and burrowed under the covers, only the top of his frizzy red hair showing.

"Argh, I'm freezing my ass off, Cartman." Kyle said, his voice muffled by the blanket. "We live in Colorado, dipshit, I'm going to turn into an icicle." Then it was Cartman's turn to roll his eyes. "You're such a drama queen, faggot. God, here." he said and then did something surprising.

He wrapped his arm around Kyle's slender shoulders and pulled him close his body, resting the top half of Kyle's body on his chest, with Kyle's head against his. Kyle's eyes widened to the proportions of a dinner plate and then they narrowed, suspicious of Cartman's intentions.

"What do you think you're doing, fatass? Isn't twice enough for you?" he said, shifting as far away as possible on the rather small double bed they were laying on. Cartman rolled his eyes again and said, "What do you think I'm doing, faggot? I'm cuddling you, not molesting you."

Kyle let out a sort of giggle snort when Cartman said that. "Cuddling? Who are we, Stan and Wendy? You big pussy." he said, but lay back down on Cartman's chest all the same. Cartman frowned, "Don't call me a pussy. You're the one giggling, stupid Jewish faggot."

Kyle ignored that and had a smile on his face until he realized something.

His face dropped and he sat up and he said, "You keep calling me a faggot." Cartman looked at him blankly and said, "So?"

Kyle said angrily, "So stop it."

Cartman rolled his eyes and before he had a chance to speak Kyle added, "And that's another thing, stop rolling your eyes." Cartman rolled his eyes again (fucking stupid shit ass annoying cocksucker!) and said, "You rolled your eyes first." he paused and then added, "Faggot."

Kyle growled and said, "I said stop calling me a faggot, lardass."

Cartman retorted with a smirk, "You fuck boys, Jew. That makes you a faggot."

Kyle got frustrated and said, "Ugh, you were the one that fucked me up the ass, you stupid idiot. That makes you a faggot, too!" Cartman just blinked and said, "I'm a stupid idiot? As opposed to a smart idiot?", which made Kyle even more frustrated.

Cartman loved seeing his Jew angry, because his face got all red and and matched his fiery hair, making him look like a tall, Jewish tomato.

Kyle was reduced to whispering loudly because he did not want to wake up the other occupant of the house, God forbid she call up his mom and tell her that her Jewish son is sleeping with a Nazi.

"You'll never change. I'll see you at school on Monday, fatboy." He sat up and pushed the covers off of him, shaking with anger and shivered.

Cartman let out a short laugh that sounded kind of like a bark. "God, you are such a faggot." he rolled his eyes again, just to annoy Kyle. "Lie down. I'll drive you home tomorrow. Besides, we both know that you could never walk home in the snow. Everyone knows Jews hate cold weather."

Kyle realized he didn't have much of a choice. He didn't have a car because he didn't have his liscence and he really didn't want to walk home in the snow. He was beginning to think that Cartman was right and Jews really did have a low tolerance for cold weather.

Cartman, being the older one, had gotten his license first and his Mom had gotten him a car because his mom "didn't want my little poopsikins to walk around in the cold Winter snow anymore."

God, life really is fucking unfair, he thought,but lay back down all the same. Cartman smirked and said, "That's what I thought, Kahl." and pulled Kyle close to him again. Kyle angrily snuggled his face into Cartman's cheek. "You're an asshole, you know that?" he said while settling down in his arms.

Cartman looked at the redheaded boy next to him and thought about how much his appearance had changed in the last few years.

He had shot up past Kenny (who was so short that only Butters was shorter than him)and most of the other boys during puberty, but was still dwarfed by Stan, who was musclular and slightly taller than him, and Cartman, who was not only taller but a lot broader than him. At school, they called him the Tank, because of his massive appearance that was fat and muscle combined.

Kyle had cut his hair so that it wasn't a Jew-fro any more, but it was still frizzy and still stuck up in the air. Cartman snickered softly to himself and thought, A lot like his ass a little while ago.

His nose was a little too long and his hair was a little too wild for him to considered handsome, really. He was more...

"Cute."

Kyle had been drifting off when he heard Cartman say something. He opened his eyes and said, "What's cute?". Cartman didn't falter when he said, "You. You're cute." he hesitated and added, "For a dumb Jew." Kyle looked at him weirdly, "Um, thanks?" he said, "That was random." He smiled and said, "You're pretty cute yourself, for a big fatass."

Cartman frowned and said, "I'm not cute. You have freckles and pretty green eyes and you're skinny, which makes you cute." he ranted, "I, however, have masculine brown eyes and I'm totally chiseled and awesome, which makes me a super badass hottie, not cute and girly, like you."

Kyle rolled his eyes one last time and pulled the covers around him and Cartman more tightly, bringing them closer together, wondering how eyes can be masculine. There was silence for a little while,

then Kyle said, "That may be so, but you're my super badass hottie."

Cartman chuckled, "Well, I guess belonging to a Jew isn't so bad, once I get to fuck you every night." Kyle growled and said, "Don't push it, asshole. Now go to sleep, fatass."

Cartman raised his head and pressed a kiss to Kyle's cheek, before settling down again and said, "Goodnight, faggot."

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A/N –

PLEASE READ!

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Bai bai ~ 3