1. Bone splintering, piercing, vampire bites are okay. No reason to freak out if you lose an arm. That's why you have two of them.

2. Remind Edward and Bella that Esme and Rosalie could always be of assistance.

3. Find a way to invent an indestructible baby bottle.

4. Remember that Edward is very protective. He'll be watching…

5. Tantrums will not be an issue. At least not with Jasper around.

6. Don't ask them what her favorite food is if you don't want to run out screaming.

7. While Edward is watching, grab Renesmee from Jacob and huff, "God, you werewolves are so clingy!"

8. If you see things when she touches your head, DO NOT drop her and scream, "What the hell was that??"

9. Never, ever, ever call her Nessie unless Seth is there to protect you.

10. If the Volturi show up at your doorstep, DO NOT say, "Pizza's here!!"

11. Be willing to lose your life for Renesmee. Chances are, you probably will.

12. Personalize a lullaby for her. (Make sure it's not along the lines of: Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little half human half vampire demon child…..) She'll give you her nightmares. You wouldn't want that.

13. Finger painting is always a great get-the-kid-to-shut-up-and-get-busy tactic! Just make sure that the red paint is really… red paint…

14. Bring some educational children movies. Don't be surprised if her stomach starts growling hungrily during Winnie the Pooh's adventure with his forest animal friends.

15. Don't bother to bring a first aid kit.

16. Don't give way to creepy stalkers that ask to see Renesmee. Especially if they have black cloaks, scary eyes, chalky pale skin, and claim that they're family friends from Italy.

17. There's a high possibility Rosalie will criticize you. A good retort will probably be, "You think you're so maternal? Let's see you try to wipe the crap off a rock hard butt!"

18. Although she is very capable of having you for dinner, Renesmee is very lovable. Be lovable back.

19. Parents want a trustworthy, loyal babysitter. This means that you really shouldn't go through Edward Cullen's underwear drawer, as much as we know you want to.

20. You might want to stay back during snacktime. Kids tend to be very messy these days…

If you followed these suggestions, you're Edward and Bella's dream babysitter! They'll want you to take care of Renesmee again and again. I mean, well, you'll probably only survive one visit… But who cares?? What should motivate you is the reward of a job well done! … Right?