Hewo. Blackwings is back here with a brand new DerekxAngie stuff. I suppose. :D But yeah. This was supposed to be uploaded a loong time ago around Christmas and New Years. But sadly, I got stuck doing some homework and crap. So shush and bare with me.

Anyways, let me warn you now. This chapter is reaally long. Like freakin 10,600 words and over. But this won't be a long story. I'd say this would be around 3 to 5 chapters long, depending how it goes. So yeah.

I'm sorry for not uploading Be Mine or Still. But since it was the holidays, and I was late (as usual with my updating), I needed to finish this up. Sorry.

Enough of me talking, now. I'll let you read the chapter now.

Trauma Center belongs to Atlus, not me. If I did own this game, then well, you know what I would do. XD

Chapter 1- Secrets and Lies-

Only twelve days left until Christmas: sleigh bells ringing down the streets of Los Angeles. People singing under the Christmas trees in the parks and shopping centers, children begging for their desired objects to their parents, and men and women out searching for the perfect gifts for their significant others. Ah, Christmas: a holiday so precious and so gleeful; the time to be merry and hopeful; the time to share and give; the time to show how much your loved ones mean to you.

And what would be the perfect gift for your dearest loved one; or the perfect way to say, "I love you," without sounding like a cheesy Shakespeare?

Who knows? Everyone has their different views on things.

It was a somewhat unusual day at Caduceus. There weren't many patients to observe or perform on while several nurses and doctors helped put up Christmas decorations in several parts of the hospital. Angie and Leslie were a part of those decorating nurses, wrapping up empty boxes and putting it under the decorated Christmas tree, hanging up lights on the top of the walls and across the ceilings, and so forth.

"I can't believe Christmas is so close!" Leslie squealed out in excitement, causing Angie to chuckle as she set up a silver ladder against the wall. "Ooh! And I'm so excited for tonight! Who would've thought that Mimi's would throw an open Christmas party?"

"Yeah, and can you believe it's going to be semi-formal too?" Angie added, knowing very well of this casual restaurant. "I wonder what made them want to throw this thing anyways… Are they going out of business or something?"

"I'm not sure. All I know is that the food will be half off." her friend chirped, clapping her hands. "Ooh! I hope there's karaoke. I want to sing!"

Angie laughed again, finding Leslie's excitement rather amusing and adorable, "So… what are you planning to do this year for Christmas?" she asked, handing Leslie a golden star to place on top of the large triangular tree before resuming to climb up that ladder she had set up a second ago.

"Well, I was planning to go to London this year with my mother, but since costs are so high to go overseas, we decided to spend it in the snowy mountains up north." Leslie sighed, climbing up on her own ladder to reach the top of the tree. "You know… somewhere around Lake Tahoe."

Angie smiled. "You could always go to England next year."

"Yeah, but enough about me. What about you?"

"Same as usual." she shrugged all casually, hearing Leslie let out a sad sigh.

"Come on, Angie. Every year you spend Christmas alone. Why not spend some time with somebody this year?"

The blonde nurse crossed her arms with another shrug. "I don't see the need for it, really. I mean, I'm used to spending this time alone. And besides, it's more relaxing that way." She walked up the ladder with a red glass ornament in her hand, hanging it on the grassy line of lights on the top wooden border.

Leslie frowned as she placed a silver spiral bulb on the tree, "You don't mean that. Come on, Christmas is meant for gatherings of friends and family. It's not a time to be alone."

"I beg to differ." the stubborn woman smiled sweetly at her concerned friend, who, in return, let out an exasperated sigh. "Millions of Americans watch TV alone on Christmas day. And, well… I would've liked to spend some time with you on that day. But, I'd rather not go all the way to the snow anytime soon."

"Angie!" Leslie stomped on her heel, sticking out her tongue, "You're such a meanie!"

She continued to smile as she walked down the ladder to grab another ornament, in the meanwhile her loyal friend still trying to get her to be social on the special holiday.

"You can't spend it alone… You have to have at least one person—" she stopped as a thought came into mind, snapping her two fingers as her face light up like a bulb. "Wait!! I know who!"

Angie looked back at her inquisitively, "Who?"

Leslie smirked mischievously, making the blonde nurse a little nervous when she slightly leaned to whisper in her ear in a sing-song-voice.

"You could spend it with Dr. Stiles…"

Angie raised a brow at the mention of her doctor's last name, cringing slightly at the thought of him being with her on Christmas when her cheeks suddenly turned pink, frustratingly turning away from Leslie in favor of getting back to business.

"What are you talking about, Leslie? That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard!" she answered in a slight yell, unconsciously dropping and breaking the ornament in her hand.

"Is that so?" she prodded with that same smirk plastered on her face, noting the slight dramatic irony in her friend's reaction, "Because it seems to me that you'd like that to happen… a lot."

The blonde nurse gave her a sour look, listening to the sounds of childish chuckles from the green, short haired nurse. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

Leslie giggled, replying with an evil, sneaky grin, "Oh, you know exactly what I mean."

"Quit it Leslie. Really. I mean it." she said with her head down, the obvious embarrassment cracking Leslie up.

"There's nothing to be ashamed about… just ask him to accompany you on that day. It's not like you're asking him to sleep with you or anything, right?"

"Leslie!!" Angie shouted with hot red cheeks, the slight ruckus catching the other doctors' and nurses' attention toward her and Leslie.

"Heehee…!" giggled Leslie as she went back to decorating the tree, the other employees eventually returning to their own business.

After moments of listening to Leslie's girlish laughs, Angie let out a soft sigh, walking down the ladder to pick up the fortunate orb that didn't shatter on the ground after it fell.

"Geez…" she began with a more serious tone, irritably sighing and halting the humor in Leslie's amusement, "Dr. Stiles probably has his own things to attend to anyways. I wouldn't want to burden him."

"What are you talking about?" she humored Angie's useless worries, "Derek never minds you being at his side!"

"You don't know tha—" she started before she was interrupted by the call of her name from the loud intercom. Very curious of the sudden announcement, Angie politely excused herself from the volunteering event, heading to where she was told to go.

In the meantime, Leslie let out a big sigh, putting a hand on her face while shaking her head. If there was anything that frustrated her, it was when two people like Angie and Derek both denied their feelings.

Who'd blame her anyways?

Derek let out a soft, exasperated sigh.

"Aw, come on Derek! Just a bit more and you're all done." Tyler gave a small pat on Derek's back before straightening his own finished load of paperwork on his own desk.

"Easy for you to say…" the brunet groaned, receiving a slap on the head when he began to lean on the table. "Ouch! What was that for!?"

"For whining." he laughed as Derek gave him a very sour look. "Anyways, what are you planning to get Angie this year for Christmas?" Tyler switched the subject, elbowing his grumpy friend on the shoulder.

"Uh… well… I'm not sure really." replied Derek as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, causing Tyler to sigh and shake his head in dissatisfaction.

"Dude, you really are a mess."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he questioned with slight anger, Tyler still shaking his head with crossed arms.

"Honestly," he started, "…no wonder why she hasn't made a move on you yet. Because you're still too damn chicken shit!"

"What?!"

"You heard me."

"I buy her something every year. I have no idea what you're talking about!!" the irritated surgeon stated sharply, agitated of his college friend trying to meddle in his personal life.

Tyler rolled his eyes, throwing his arms in the air. "I know that. But when are you going to tell her that, you know, like her?"

"Quit it, Tyler! Seriously."

"What? Aren't I right? Don't you like her?" Tyler asked with a playful smirk, raising his brows up and down as he elbowed his friend on the arm again.

"Well, yeah. Angie's my partner and my friend." Derek stated as a matter of factly, earning a giant smack on the head. "Ow! What the hell!? Quit hitting me!"

"Not that 'like' stupid!"

Derek snapped with a death glare, "That's none of your business, Tyler…"

"Oh?" Tyler mused, scratching his chin, "So I am right?"

"I swear to God, Tyler. I will kill you if you keep asking me."

"You know what I've noticed? Every time someone asks you how you feel about her, you never really say no. It's always a 'knock it off' or 'go away' kind of response."

And before Derek could reply to that, the door slid open, halting the men's apparently intense conversation.

"Angie!" They both said in unison, Angie staring at the two with a puzzled expression, obviously unaware of the whole argument that was going on seconds ago. Tyler snickered, humoring the coincidence of Angie's appearance while Derek stood there flustered, hoping to God that she wasn't eavesdropping on them.

Nonetheless, she went on anyways, turning to Derek with a little smile, "Heather is here to visit, Doctor. She wanted to see the both of us, if you don't mind."

"That's great!" Derek replied with a large grin, immediately walking toward Angie in favor of heading outside of the office; outside of this ridiculous awkwardness, "Come on, Angie! Let's go!"

"U-um… Doctor?" she stuttered out blankly as she was confused of why he was rushing her away, going along with what he was doing as Tyler stood there in the room with arms crossed, chuckling softly, and shaking his head in amusement.

Is he in that much of a rush to see her? she thought to herself as she followed him, sadness filling her green eyes as the spiking anxiousness floated in her mind.

"Doctor Stiles and Nurse Thompson!" Heather started with a tender smile, "How are the two of you?"

"We're good." said Derek who was scratching the back of his head. "How about you? How's your mother holding up?"

"Oh, she hasn't awakened yet."

Derek dropped his smile in favor of a remorseful frown. "Oh, I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help…"

Angie let out a soft, sad sigh, so soft that neither of the two had noticed, much to her relief.

The brunette woman chuckled. "That's very kind of you, Dr. Stiles. But, she's getting all the help she needs. Really."

Sitting next to her dearest doctor, who apparently seemed to not notice she existed at this point in time, Angie looked away from the two of them in favor of looking at a plain white wall, away from the scene which had began to hurt her. If there was anything Angie hated most, it was becoming upset over something like this.

"Yeah I'll do it… for Heather's sake…"

Unable to hide it all, becoming so vulnerable to more sadness and pain, she felt so ugly, anguished over some childish jealousy over such a beautiful young woman.

She hated that. She hated that so much.

She didn't hate her, not even in the least holding this envy against her. In fact, she treated her with the most professional manner, even to the point of developing a small friendship with her. But knowing that this woman seemed to appeal to the man sitting next to her, the man who she had spent almost all her time with, the man who stood by her side in the worst of times, the man who promised to protect her no matter what, the man who she grew to respect and love so passionately—so passionately that it was almost a childish obsession—tore her heart as if it was nothing but a rejected love letter.

Sure, he did not have much experience with women—so little, that, he gets so flustered when encountering one who is so friendly or flirtatious with him. But when he first met Angie, the women who cared enough to kick him into shape, not once had she witnessed him becoming ever so shy or so "flustered" with her.

"Am I…" she thought, looking down at the ground dubiously, "…not girly enough to him?"

Angie clenched her shaking fists lying on top of her lap, listening to their long, thirty minute conversation without a word to say, all the while trying to snap herself out of her insecurity.

"It's great to see you again, Heather." he placed his hand on the back of his head, smiling rather sheepishly as the brunette nurse returned the friendly smile. It had been almost three months since he and Angie have seen Heather.

"Same with you, Doctor Stiles and Ms. Thomson. It's a pleasure to see the two of you again." she smiled, holding her brown clipboard up to her chest, in the meanwhile turning her attention to the blonde nurse in distress. "Ms. Thompson? Are you alright?"

The sudden question caught Derek's attention as he immediately glanced at his nurse alongside with Heather, concern replacing the usual composure within his chocolate eyes as he noticed the hurt in Angie's eyes.

Angie bit her lip for a second before looking up and timidly smiling with a small nod, covering up her troublesome worries as reassurance when she unclenched her fists, shaking them out in the air, open and loose. "O-of course I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" she asked with concern, "You look sad."

The blonde nurse laughed out loud, slightly surprising the two of them from her sudden outburst.

"Sad…?" she pointed to her peachy face. "Sad? I'm not sad at all!" she continued to laugh on, bemusing the doctor and the nurse. Heather decided to giggle though, to go on with Angie's amusement, while Derek just stared at her with nothing to say, perhaps more worried than Heather was.

"Something isn't right about her…" he thought.

"Hey!! Heather!" It was Leslie at the door entrance, standing next to Tyler. "What brings you here?"

"Oh, I just wanted to say hi to everyone." she smiled, hugging Leslie back when she hugged her.

"Hey, are you busy tonight by any chance?" Tyler butted in.

Heather shook her head. "No, not at all. Why?"

"You should come to Mimi's with all of us tonight!"

The brunette blinked, trying to recall the familiarity of the place. "That restaurant a few blocks from here?"

And as Tyler explained to Heather what was going on, Angie excused herself out of the room in favor of returning to her and Derek's office, still a bit frustrated. When the door shut on its own, she took a second to stare at the closed door before going on, a rather gloomy look on her face. This perhaps wasn't the best week so far in this special month. And no, not only because of this former jealousy of hers—there were many other things as well.

Somehow, she had the feeling that Christmas this year wouldn't be as well as the others. But then again, why would she care? Rarely anything special happens: no miracles; no romance. Though, for the last couple of years she had been with Derek, Christmas wasn't so bad, since he was the only one who'd come by and drop off his gifts to her, happily wishing her a Merry Christmas and then leaving her afterward, only to make her become more yearning of him.

If she would just ask him to stay with her longer this Christmas, and possibly New Year's, would he accept?

Angie didn't know, nor did she care—or so she claimed. So why should this even matter? And besides, Derek may be spending Christmas with others, and she would hate to burden him by asking. Not only that, it always seemed that he is so wrapped around Heather's finger. What's the point in asking him to be with her on that day now? He may want to spend it with the beautiful brunette nurse instead.

The thought of that made her sad again. No matter how many times she had told herself to accept the possibility of her doctor falling for another woman, she just couldn't, nor would she accept the thought of moving on.

She really did want him.

And sadly, she couldn't bring herself to admit that without shame—it sounded so selfish.

She clenched her fists as the thought of the recent conversation between Heather and Derek came back into mind. He kept talking about how he would help her mother and how he would get her to wake up from that long coma.

"He's always so determined to help her mother…" Angie muttered under her breath, sharp heels under her feet clicking away as she continued to walk on. "Is it that he feels obligated as a doctor? Or because he—" she forced herself to stop, looking down at her walking feet when another thought came into mind.

"…I'm so pathetic that I can't even say it…"

"For Heather's sake…"

Angie furiously shook her head with a small grunt. "Pull yourself together, Angie! The more you let it show, the easier he'll figure out…"

She stopped toward the elevator, pressing the button pointing up, as she waited for one of the four doors to open. Turning around to look out of the broaden glass window, another sad thought crossed her mind, "What if he does find out one day? What would he think of me then?"

After several seconds, not even one door had opened, leaving Angie to become slightly angry at the slowness of its arrival. She hated elevators sometimes—especially ones with technicality issues. But it was either the stupid metal box or walking up fifty flights of stairs. And considering the fact she was wearing sharp heels, Angie would rather not walk up such a length at this point in time.

Then again, it's not like she was late for a meeting or rounds. So, why was she in such a rush?

Kicking her right foot against the white cold tile floor out of boredom and impatience as she waited for an open door, she let out another quiet, discontent sigh. "I can't tell him…" she looked down to her feet as she whispered, "…it would burden him. I just can't take that risk…"

"Can't tell me what?" she heard a voice interjecting her on the right, noticing that it was the voice of that same man who she was contemplating over; encircling her anxious thoughts. She looked at him with a delicate gaze, hoping that he didn't hear anything else she was saying before.

Derek lightly smirked as he uncrossed his arms, moving away from the wall he was leaning on to walk toward her and close the distance between them. By that time, a small blush formed on her cheeks, her heart beating faster as he came closer and closer, her bashful gaze wandering toward the ground.

"Nothing…" she muttered a soft answer, trying her best to act cool by shrugging the nervousness off, tense green eyes looking back at his. "And… how would you know that I was referring to you anyways?"

Derek gently smiled, that smile that made her weak and vulnerable.

"Just an instinct. That's all."

"Well, you're wrong." she crossed her arms with a small scoff when she turned around, back facing to him.

"Oh really?" he mused with a more stern expression while the elevator opened, "Then tell me what you were grieving about not too long ago. What was that about?"

"I wasn't grieving!" she slightly stomped into the middle elevator while she retorted, which made Derek raise his left brow as he followed her in. "I was in deep thought!"

"Uh huh… Sure." said Derek, unconvinced as he rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid, you know? Quit playing dumb with me and just tell me what's wrong." he poked the "11" button before he slid his hands into his lab coat and leaned against the bar behind the two of them.

"I just told you… I'm fine."

"Then why were you so quiet while I was talking to Heather?"

Oh… So you did notice?

"I just didn't have anything to say. That's all."

Still frankly incredulous, he continued to prod, as he wasn't ready to give up quite yet.

"What was that whole 'I'm so ecstatic' act all about?"

Does it really matter?

"I wasn't… acting," she slightly stuttered, becoming more nervous as she was running out of lies to claim.

"And why did you walk out on us like that?"

Why would you care?

Angie flinched, now defeated by her curious and concerned doctor. She turned her fearful gaze to the ground of the down-moving box with nothing else to exactly say.

"I…" her voice shook quietly as she fidgeted with her fingers, "I, um, well… I—"

"So, I was right after all…" he said quietly, keeping his gaze fixed on the closed door.

They said nothing after that for several moments as they continued to stare in different areas. Before he began another word, he let out a long sigh, standing up away from the bar.

"Angie…" he started softly, sending another chill down her spine when she heard him walking closer to her. "Did I do something that upset you?"

"No… of course not." she looked at him with sincere eyes to reassure him, though it still wasn't quite enough for him.

With gentle chocolate eyes, he slightly leaned in to her and softly placed his hands on her shoulders, making her lightly blush and turn her head away from him gently. "Then what is it then?"

It was then that the door finally opened, and that they had finally arrived on their floor. An old lady stood behind that opened door, Derek walking out of the elevator and sticking his arm in front of the door so it would stay open and the lady could walk in at ease. Angie took this as a cue to leave him and quickly head to the office, but failed when she was stopped by him taking a hold of her wrist and demandingly, yet gently, pulling her closer to him.

"Doctor… please…" she pleaded softly as her cheeks flushed once more by the closeness of him to her, still failing to stop Derek from waiting for an answer.

"What are you rushing for? You're not late for anything…" he said in a more firm tone, obviously frustrated by Angie's refusal to tell him what was wrong.

"I-it's nothing big… r-really." she stammered as her green eyes wandered from his when he leaned his face into her more, looking deep into her eyes.

"You've been this way for days, Angie…" he stated unhappily, stirring her to look at him by gently shaking her. "I can't help but worry about you."

"I—um—I'm just stressed that's all." she replied softly, nervously turning her eyes back at his, which she noted were sincere enough for her to say something. "There's a lot of work here, and also a lot back at home. I don't know where Tasha went; my car was stolen not too long ago, so I walk to work because I hate buses. So yeah… I'm trying to deal with it as best as I can." It was a general honest answer, for she hadn't actually lied, albeit leaving other details out of the picture.

"Oh…" he replied, gently letting her go with a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be." she smiled at him, "You're just worried. But, you don't have to be. I'll be fine. Besides, we have a party to attend to tonight. So… happy thoughts, right?"

He still couldn't smile even as she laughed, for something still didn't seem right. But since he didn't want to push her any further, he decided to just accept her answer, forcing a tiny smile on his face.

"Do you need a ride?" he offered as they continued to walk on, since he felt it was the only thing he could do for her to make it up to her.

"Well…no…" Angie started, feeling a little bad for considering such a kind offer, "…Well, okay. A little."

His smiled. "Alright, I'll take you, then."

"T-thank you… Derek." she blushed a little, at the thought of actually saying his first name from her own lips. It felt so weird to say, like a foreign word she stammered to pronounce—especially in front of him. "I-I really appreciate it."

"No problem. Anything for my nurse."

My…? she thought. "My" was pushing it a little too far, as if she was actually owned by him.

Then again, who said it was a crime to dream?

It was fairly bright in the restaurant of Mimi's: filled of lights and angelic decorations. Lit candles sat in the center of sparkling white cloth-covered tables, setting a romantic setting for each customer who had attended the special occasion as the lounging music played on. Not one person had dressed poorly within the vast crowd of people: men wearing their usual slacks and suits over their attire, women up or sitting with their semi-formal dresses and glassy jewelry.

Gracefully fingering the delicate and loosely hanging silver necklace Derek had given her for her last birthday, Angie took a look around the area as she sat in between him and Leslie, who was also next to Tyler and two seats away from Heather, at the broaden round table. They had all just filled up their plates from the buffet near the bar and couldn't wait to dig in, as finding seats seemed to take forever. Soon after they got their meals, many other Caduceus members arrived and greeted the five, such as Sidney Kasal and Robert Hoffman, Victor Nigel and Stephan Clarks. Though, no one really understood why Victor came though, for he had always denied coming when asked, as an anti-social young man. Perhaps he was forced and bribed to, Tyler would snicker.

"Hope you enjoy your time… And don't drink too much." Robert smiled, then walking away with his hands clasped behind his back to the bar where the other three men were headed to.

"Angie…" Heather said, breaking the silence between the five of them, "You look very pretty today." she noted the unusual, untied, blonde, golden hair shimmering down Angie's back. It was really long and wavy, something in which Heather and many had never realized until today. "And I absolutely love the little design on your necklace." she was referring to the two hearts linked as an "S", "Where did you get it at?"

"Oh!" Angie lifted her hand up in front of her lips, gently giggling behind it. "I'm not sure really…"

Heather gave her an inquisitive look. "You didn't buy it?"

Angie put her hand down and fidgeted with the other on her lap, looking down at it with soft pink cheeks. "Well—um—no…"

"I bought it for her about two months ago." Derek butted in with a small smile, taking a short moment to glance at Angie before turning back to Heather. "It's from that jewelry store on 18th Street."

"Aww!" squealed the short hair brunette, something in which no one from the table had expected for she wasn't one to girlishly get into things. "That's sweet of you, Dr. Stiles!"

"I know!" Leslie joined in, clapping her hands when Heather let out a warm and fuzzy chuckle. "That's what I said when Angie told me about it."

"You must have been happy, Ms. Thompson." Heather chirped, giggling once more. "I would be… That necklace must have cost a fortune!"

"Oh, she was." an evil chuckle escaped Tyler's mouth, watching his college buddy's blonde nurse become nearly red as a tomato. "You should've seen the way she reacted when he first gave it to her."

"Yeah… She wouldn't even stop gleaming over it for days!"

The embarrassed blonde woman slightly narrowed her head, unaware of the brunette surgeon taking note of her at unease—something which motivated him into suggest the group to change the subject, scratching the back of his head as a blush crept on his cheeks, "Hey… come on guys. Knock it off. Really…"

"Aww, dude. Come on!" Tyler said, taking a sip of his whine before taking a fork and stabbing it in his steak. "This conversation is fun!"

"And, what else can we talk about besides you and her?" Leslie added in with a childish laugh, "We all know that you two LOVE each other!"

"Yeah… quit beating around the bush." Heather said.

"We're not!!" Angie shouted, causing immediate quietness on their side of the room as she slammed her hands flat on the table. "We're not together! We're not now, and never WILL be! We're just partners! Just two colleagues. That's all. So quit talking about it like it would, because it WON'T!!"

Everyone, besides the five, gawked at her without a word to say as she began to eat her meal as if nothing weird had happened. After a short moment, all the other people went on with their business, though her friends at her table were still left speechless while Derek looked down with a rather hurt and disappointed expression.

"W-whoa…" Tyler managed to say with a goofy smile, looking at the other four with a rather dumb look on his face. Leslie slapped his arm in response, earning a quiet "ouch!" from him.

And the five just ate on afterwards in utter silence, something which made Angie feel bad. Ready to speak once more, she hesitantly looked at the five, a remorse look evident on her face.

"I'm sorry for shouting like that…" she said softly, green eyes moving down at her clasped hands sitting on her lap while the five looked at her. "That was very rude of me. But, for some reason, I just get so fed up when people assume like that… especially when it's not even real."

A muddle of emotions intruded Derek's cluttered thoughts when she had added in those last few words. The way she had said it so softly and dejectedly made it seemed as if she really did want it to be real. Or at least that was what Derek wanted to believe, sadly gazing at her as he thought over it considerably.

"Angie…" he began, ready to tell her something important, though it shut down when she stood up from her chair, preparing to walk away as she took her purse in her hand.

"Well, it looks like Mr. and Mrs. Kasal are here too. I think I'm going to say hi to them… I'll be back soon. So don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"Ohh!" Leslie squeaked, clapping her hands, "Tell her that I say hi too. And that I hope Kari is doing well!"

Angie chuckled with a light smile before she went on, leaving the five still very puzzled.

"Hey," Tyler said, looking at everyone at the table. "…is she alright?"

Heather and Leslie shrugged while Derek remained silent, watching Angie kindly greet the Kasals from afar with upset eyes.

"Well," Leslie said, leaning closer to the table as she gestured them to close in, "I'm not sure if it's this reason… But, promise you won't tell her that I told you this?"

Everyone nodded before Leslie proceeded on.

"Angie's spending Christmas alone…"

"And here's a song for all you lovebirds out there!"

It was the DJ in the background who started a rather slow, relaxing song to set a romantic setting in the place. The song was Angie's favorite too, much to her dismay as she took a glance at the floor of pairs dancing together. Though, she did smile slightly when she noticed a drunken Tyler and sober Leslie dancing together, then ended up frowning again, expecting that the next pair would be Derek and Heather.

She's more fitting for him anyways… Why am I complaining? I should be happy for him… that he found someone he enjoys being with.

With a small groan, she turned back to Cybil, who smiled at her warmly as Greg was drunkenly involved himself with Sidney and the other men at the bar.

"So, why aren't you with the others over there?" she decided to ask, seeing Angie a little perturbed by her sudden urge to come to the bar.

"Well, at first, I was just coming by to say hi…" she answered normally with a cheerful smile. "But I guess talking to you guys went a little more than expected."

"I see." she chuckled. "Don't you think it's amusing watching Greg and Sidney get drunk?" she turned to the hysterical hyenas, shaking her head with some enjoyment.

"In a way… yes." she replied as she watched the two men chortle and act like hysterical chimpanzees in a way she had never seen any man act before, "So… Why aren't you drinking?"

"Oh, I'm the one driving. We take turns whenever we go to parties with alcohol."

"That makes sense…" Angie smiled at the obvious answer, coming back to silence afterward.

"Is something wrong?" Cybil asked, noting Angie's silent gaze upon the dancing floor.

"Oh, no! I was just thinki—"

"I'm guessing that you're upset over Derek?"

Angie's eyes widened as she waved her hands in denial.

"What? No. I'm not—"

"Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong." she smiled, putting a hand on Angie's back as she went on. "The man cares about you a lot. I can still see that in his eyes by the way he looks at you."

"N-no…" Angie blushed. "He likes Heather."

"And how do you know that?"

"I d-don't know! It just seems that way when he talks to her." her voice slowly alternated into a soft decrescendo, sadness overfilling her green eyes. "I mean, I feel so bad that I'm so upset about something like this. Heather is so pretty, so strong, and so admirable, she's just so much more fitting for him than I am. I just can't help but feel a little jealous."

"Oh, Angie. What am I going to do with you?" Cybil lightly patted her back, quietly chuckling at Angie's silliness, "You're beautiful, strong, and admirable too. I'm sure Derek can see that clearly in his eyes."

"Yeah right…"

"Don't be so pessimistic about it." she pressed her index finger against Angie's cheek. "Or I'll have to slap you out of it, even if I don't want to."

The blonde laughed. "I'm sorry Dr. Kasal…"

"And besides, he doesn't like Heather that way. Trust me… I know he doesn't." Cybil said, knowing well of the two stubborn love birds from her experience of working among them and helping them back at Hope.

Angie kept silent, taking a sip of her iced water until she felt a soft poke on the back.

"Hey, Angie…" said a man with a small grin, scratching the back of his head as if he was nervous about something when she turned to look at him.

"Derek?" she looked at him with big eyes, in the meanwhile Cybil bursting out laughing like crazy.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything…" he said softly with a sheepish smile, blushing a little when he looked down at his feet.

"Um—no. You're not." she returned his smile warmly, watching him glance back at her.

"Oh, um well…" he paused, clearing his throat quietly, wondering how he was going to come out with what he wanted to say without looking and sounding like a dork. "I was wondering if—well—seeing that you're, um—I mean—gah! Oh God… haha…hahahaha!"

So much for succeeding on that.

The blonde tilted her head slightly as he began to laugh nervously, scratching the back of his head for another time before he continued on.

"Would you like to… dance with me?" he finally asked when he looked at her with a rather serious expression, earning a gaze of surprise from a now fully pink Angie, not expecting such an offer from him.

"You d-don't have t-to… I was just—" he said with slight disappointment when she hadn't answered for a second, gawking at him with wide eyes.

"No… it's not that. It's just—I…" she stuttered, looking down at her fidgety fingers. "I d-don't know how to dance… What if I step on your foot? Or mess up badly and hurt you?"

Listening to her made Derek grin wide, finding this shy side of his usual strong, stubborn nurse rather cute as she went on.

"I wouldn't mind." he said softly with a gentle smile.

"Y-you should ask Heather… Perhaps she's more experienced than me…" she said sadly, mentally slapping herself in the head when she had just realized how whiny and weak she sounded, hearing Cybil clear her throat as a reminder of what she told Angie earlier.

"But I don't want to dance with her…" he stated softly as he gently placed his hands on hers, caressing them slightly as he went on. "I want to dance with you."

The last words had made her heart jump, for the way he said it sounded so straightforward, so demanding. With a timid smile, she looked at him once more with a small nod, standing up from her chair to walk toward him…

…when suddenly she tripped on a small hole on the ground.

Immediately, she was caught into his arms when she fell toward him, her heart beating faster as they stayed in that position for a moment before Derek gently helped her back up.

"Whoa!" he chuckled softly, "Are you alright?"

She blushed like crazy, nodding with a humiliated laugh, "Y-yeah… S-sorry. I tripped."

"I'm just happy you didn't hurt yourself." he smiled, gently taking her hand in his as a gesture to lead her. "Well… Shall we?"

"Y-yeah…" she said with a shy smile and nodded, "Umm… Dr. Kasal? Would you mind watching my purse?"

"Not at all." she gave her a wide grin, happily taking and putting the small black purse upon her lap. "You two have fun… and don't trip again either, Angie." Cybil joked with a chuckle, Angie slightly scoffing at the humor when she heard Derek join in too.

With a gentle smile, Derek took Angie with him through the crowd, stopping in a vacant space between pairs. She nervously chuckled when he stood in front of her and gazed into her eyes, gently placing his hands on her waist and pulling her closer in a modest manner. Arms still hanging at her sides, she looked at him with a bewildered stare, not knowing what to do next.

"Just place your hands on my shoulders," he told her softly after letting out a small chuckle, Angie then hesitantly doing as she was told, looking down at their unmoving feet as she blushed more. "…and just sway slowly with me."

"U-um… Huh?" she blinked, laughing nervously as she made it entirely obvious that she had never done anything like this before.

He laughed once more, finding her utter confusion the most adorable thing he had ever seen from her, "Just follow me wherever I go, silly."

And with that said, they began, swaying back and forth to the song played in the room. She followed him shyly, having trouble keeping her eyes fixed with his when he seemingly had no problem looking at her, bashful as she truly was in this kind of setting. This didn't seem to offend Derek at all, for he kind of figured that she was really timid of being this close to him—perhaps to any man. Not to mention he was nervous as hell as well, unable to read her actual thoughts. He actually liked it in a way, admiring this soft side of her, watching her turn redder and redder as they went on without her acknowledgement. Eventually, she willed herself to look at him, though only for a short time when she felt herself blushing once more, too mortified to keep her scared eyes fixed with his during this moment. This made him smile wider, delicately pulling her close to him in an instant, which made her heart skip another beat.

Words were still left unspoken during a minute into the song, and Angie felt that she needed to say something—something to make the moment less awkward. Then again, knowing her, she really wanted to cherish this moment, for this may be the only time she would ever be with him like this. So instead, in a courageous move, she took her arms and carefully wrapped them around his neck, softly leaning her head against his chest, listening to the steady beats within him. She didn't know exactly why she just did that, she just did. Though a little surprised at first, for he never expected such a gesture from her, Derek rested his cheek against the top of her head, gently tracing one hand on her upper back and the other inches beneath it, pulling her fully into him.

If only this could last longer… she thought to herself, slowly closing her eyes as she began to relax in his tender embrace, reminiscing about all the things they've been through those long three years. And though love didn't happen at the time they had first met, she couldn't be any happier than him being at her side, especially like this.

"Having fun?" he ended the eternal silence with a soft question, sending chills down her spine as it was the first time something was spoken between their slow dance.

"Yeah…"

"See? Slow dancing isn't hard at all." he chuckled very lightly, "You had nothing to be nervous and shy about."

"Oh, shush… I so had a reason to be…" she joined him, a bigger smile spreading across her face.

"Really?" he mused, becoming slightly curious. "And why so?"

Because it's you, you dork. Angie wanted to say, instead replying softly, "I've never danced with anyone before. This is my first time."

This made him smile wider.

"Wait… So that means… I'm your first?"

"Y-yeah…"

They both blushed when nothing else was said.

"I… hope I didn't screw your first time up…" he said sheepishly, raising his cheek away from her head to look at her.

"You didn't…" she smiled with a small shake of her head. "I'll remember this until the day I die. Thank you… Derek." As stupid as it may have sounded to her, she didn't mind for some reason, until she just realized that she may have made it obvious that she was secretly in love with him.

"Well, thank you for letting me lead you." he whispered in her ear when he leaned into her more, making her shiver at the touch of his warm breath against her sensitive skin.

When the song ended, they finally opened the distance between them, both first chuckling then cracking up for an unknown reason neither of them knew. Afterwards, they went back to the bar afterwards, noting that the rest of the crew at the bar, except for Victor, were absent.

"They left." he said, drinking his glass. "And don't ask me why… I didn't listen to them."

"Where's my purse?" Angie asked, worry filling her eyes when she looked around the seats and under the counters.

Victor sighed, grumpily taking out the small leather bag and hanging it in front of her eyes.

"Oh, thank you." she said appreciatively, taking a seat next to him while Derek stood next to her, a small smile upon his lips when his cell phone in his pocket vibrated. Taking it out and opening the screen, a nervous look replaced the happiness on his face, noting that he missed a call from his mother.

"Well, I better call Mom back… It's probably important." he said to Angie, worried that his mother would nag at him for letting her call reach his voice mail, something she disliked deeply. "Don't worry, it'll be really quick…"

"Sure it will…" Angie said with a gentle giggle, watching him proceed outside the restaurant with a dreamy smile, unable to get rid of the whole moment of dancing with him. Then she let out a sad sigh, realizing that she had many things to do back at home, which included making posters of "have you seen this dog?" Something that would be one of the hardest tasks other than searching for a replacement car, for it reminded her that her baby was gone: lost and cold and probably starving to death alone.

She really didn't look forward to go back in such a depressing home. But at least Derek had given her a good time today.

She smiled again at the thought of him. Derek Stiles, her doctor , her partner, and her obvious loved one. Perhaps one day, some strange lucky day, he'd tell her that he felt the same way for her too.

She overheard Victor let out a rather irate exhale.

"Honestly, if you're going to spend the last few minutes daydreaming or moping here, you might as well drink something to loosen up." he muttered under his drunken breath, handing her a glass of what looked like alcohol.

Angie looked at it with a blank stare, unsure to accept the offer.

"You ordered something for me?" she chuckled slightly until she met his grumpy stare, which was still somewhat amusing to her. "Why? Are you going to intoxicate me with some new drug you put in it?"

He scoffed as if he was offended, turning back to gulping his own glass. "No. Just take it. I'm doing you a damn favor. Maybe you'll actually get laid tonight by your knight in shining armor."

Angie laughed out loud with a slap of her hand against the smooth surface.

"And what makes you think I'd want to…" she stopped, blushing at the sudden peculiar thought of it when she immediately turned her gaze away from the antisocial researcher's unexpected smirk.

She hesitated, sliding the glass in front of her and examining it with some deep thought before making a decision.

"Whatever. I guess one won't hurt."

The blonde woman slammed her seventh glass on the table with a roaring sigh, looking drunk as ever with her cheeks plastered red, her eyes opened slightly, her body slouched all over the counter top. Never had she overloaded herself like this, for she wasn't much of a drinker herself. Sure, she drank it occasionally, in the rarest of times, but never like this. Though in a way, it actually felt kind of good—the feeling of being wasted—as if she really was carefree for once.

Just then Derek had returned, being almost twenty minutes gone outside.

"Oh…my God! Angie!" he yelped, stunned at the moment he saw her. Now frantically worried about her, for he knew she had overwhelmed herself just by quickly observing her, he snatched her eighth glass without a second to think. "Just how much did you drink!?"

"H-hey there sexy…" she slurred with a scruffy smirk, attempting to stand up from the seat and collapsing anyways, for she had no coordination at this point in time. Right before she hit the floor, he caught her immediately in his arms, helping her stand a moment afterward.

"She was tense. So I offered her something to loosen her up…" Victor said with a small shrug, earning a slight glare from Derek. "I believe she was on her eighth before you interrupted her…"

"Seriously!?" Derek shouted, ready to yell something else at him until Angie interfered, fingering his chest faintly in a circle as she leaned against him exhaustedly.

"Why are you so angry, Doctor Stiilles?" she cooed seductively, looking at him with a mischievous smirk on her face. "All I had was a couple of drinks… I was just havin' some fun…"

Derek sighed, looking back at Angie with a rather stern expression, which immediately altered into a gentle look when he noted how cute she looked right now with her wide innocent eyes.

"Maybe I should take you home now… You really need some rest." he said softly, taking her purse and putting her right arm over his right shoulder, walking her slowly out to the car after waving to Tyler, Leslie, and Heather, signaling that they were going to leave.

He never minded taking her home under any circumstance.

Especially because he would do anything for her, just to make sure she was safe and sound.

After all, he promised to protect her.

Walking her upstairs to the door of her apartment, Derek listened to her speak in ways he'd never expect to hear from her own mouth. So unprofessional, yet undeniably cute. It was many reasons like this to admire her more.

He felt the warmth of her breath tickling the skin of his neck, inhaling his scent as if infatuated when he had stopped at the front of the door, digging into her purse for the apartment key. It made him nervous, sending tremors down his spine for every little breath that touched his skin. So awkward, but sensual and soothing when he began to loosen the tension in himself, taking a short moment to pause and savor it before finding her key.

It felt very nice.

"You smell so good…" she whispered softly, gently pressing herself onto him more when she rested her forehead on his shoulder. "And you're so warm…"

"Uhh…" he hesitated with a nervous laugh when he stuck the key in the lock, unlocking the door in a mere second. "Thanks."

"Hehe!" she giggled, fingering his chest in a small circle, "You're so cute, when you're so shy…"

Derek laughed again, cheeks becoming pink at the recent words that came out of her mouth. They were drunk, yes. But maybe she really did mean it. As that one saying went, "drunken words are one's sober words."

…Did she honestly mean it?

"You're so hot." she said in a husky tone. "Wouldn't you agree? What do you think?"

"I think…" he paused with a small smile, poking her nose lightly as a joking gesture, "…you drank a little too much."

He opened the door, walking her inside and closing it afterward. After quickly slipping his shoes off, he slowly walked her to a nearby chair, carefully sitting her down. Kneeling slightly beside her, he managed to lift each of her feet to slip off those red shimmering heels enveloping them. Afterwards, he looked up at her, still knelt, noting the paleness and the void look on her face. She was a mess, seemingly unresponsive, something that heightened his worries.

"Angie," he stood up in front of her, gently placing his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them softly, "How are you feeling? Is everything alright? Do you feel nauseous?"

She didn't respond for a moment, just gawking at his concerned face blankly until he said her name softly once more, eventually getting her to respond.

"I f-feel so dizzy… and so sick… I—I… toilet…"

Taking this as a cue that she was going to vomit, he helped her up once more, proceeding to the bathroom as quick as he could. Arriving promptly, he helped her kneel upon the cold tile floor in front of the white porcelain toilet, stooping behind her as he pulled back soft strands of blonde hair away from her face in case she needed to vomit—which she did in a mere second.

It was at least forty minutes of puking, flushing, and comforting, but Derek didn't mind, rubbing her back in gentle circles throughout the whole process. After all, he really wanted to make sure she was okay. Nothing satisfied him more than seeing her alive and thriving in his presence.

Helping her up once more, he walked her to the sink, suggesting her to rinse her mouth with some mouthwash to rid some of the existing acid in her mouth from the vomit. To his surprise, she complied to the command, though he still had to keep a close eye on her just in case she ended up swallowing the damn liquid and poisoning herself, something he was not looking forward to experience. Afterward, he walked her to her bedroom, helping her sit on her bed carefully before he handed her some pajamas he spotted on a decently tall, white dresser when he came in.

"Derek…" she said faintly, voice ever so raspy and miserable, "…could you help me unzip this?"

He hesitated at first, cheeks flashing pink. But with a small nod and a smile, Derek insisted, standing her up and walking behind her, unzipping the small zipper in a mere second. She turned back to face him with what seemed a humble and bashful look, which Derek translated as that she wanted to take off the dress. But since he couldn't really leave the room at this point, for he wanted to make sure she wouldn't faint or hurt herself out of nowhere, he just gawked at her without anything to say, coming up with the only option he had in mind.

"I'll just, turn around." he said gently with a slight stammer, red cheeks still unnoticed by her when she nodded. "So, well… you know."

Doing as he had promised, he overheard the faint sounds of her undressing and dressing her body, something which deepened the red on his cheeks as he faced the wall in sheer silence, trying to keep his thoughts clean. Then again, perhaps it would have been better if he had just helped her, so he could at least help her balance or catch her if she fell. After all, he was a surgeon: seeing the nude was something he had to deal with almost every day.

He immediately turned around when he heard a big "thump", fearing that she had collapsed on the floor, to which he was correct. Bending down, he gently lifted her up in the air, walking to the bed and delicately laying her down on its cushy mattress with a soft pillow under her head. She shivered, the gentle breeze from the open window catching her quickly. Noting this, he pulled some soft layers of sheets from the end of the bed over her, tucking her in gently when suddenly a soft whimper caught his attention—she was crying.

"Angie?" he said softly, worried that he may have done something wrong. "What's wrong?"

She didn't say anything, only weeping quietly into her open palms when he placed a hand on her left shoulder, rubbing it gently as a gesture of comfort.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." he confronted her softly, growing even more sad when she cried harder.

"I'm so ugly…" she sobbed when she hiccupped, hands still covering her crying face, "I'm so ugly that my doctor hates me…"

"Doctor—?" Derek pondered, trailing off when he had just realized she was referring to him. "Me?" he asked quietly, noticing she hadn't replied, tears tracing down her cheeks as she covered her eyes with her hands.

"Oh, Angie…" he cooed gently, pulling her fragile body into a gentle hug when he sat beside her on the corner of the bed. "Is this what's been bothering you lately?"

She still hadn't reply, letting out another hiccup.

"Angie," he said softly again with more sternness. "I don't hate you… If I did, I wouldn't be here trying to make sure you're okay."

"You d-don't…?"

"Of course I don't, silly. What makes you think that I don't care about you?" he gently smiled as he rested his chin on her head, slightly cradling her when her sobs began to gradually fade. "And you're not ugly. At least to me you aren't. I don't know what brought you to think that, because you really are a beautiful woman…"

She sniffed. "You really mean it?"

"Of course." he smiled when she looked up at him, letting out another hiccup. "We better do something about your hiccups. I'll go get you a glass of water."

After gently laying her back down, he got up from her bed, smiling at her for another moment before he walked toward the door and opened it, only to hear her softly call his name once more. He glanced back at her, noting that the fear in her eyes didn't go away.

"Please don't leave…"

Derek wasn't sure what to exactly say, since he wasn't exactly prepared to be away from home for a day. But since it was her who pleaded, he couldn't say no. After all, he would do anything to make her happy.

"I'm not going anywhere." A loving smile grew on his lips, something which had always made her feel at ease. "As I've said before, I'm going to watch over you to make sure you're okay."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Wiping out her eyes, she gave him a tired smile, which he returned back before he made his way to the kitchen.

Filling an empty glass with cold water from the refrigerator, Derek let out a long yawn. It was already 12 at midnight, and Derek was thankful that tomorrow would be his day-off. Perhaps he could do some Christmas shopping…

Speaking of Christmas, he had just remembered about Angie's situation. She's going to be alone on Christmas and New Years…

…Just like him.

Perhaps maybe, just maybe, he could—

"No…" he shook his head, afraid to burden her. "Angie wouldn't like that much."

Please don't leave…

Maybe she really did want somebody to be with her after all on the holidays. Maybe she really was lonely, seeing that there was barely anything in her apartment but furniture and displays, romance novels and romance movies, empty sinks and empty trash cans. And though there was light, everything was dim and depressing. Derek let out a sad sigh, taking a second to look at the full glass in his hand before making his way back to her room.

And when he got back, he found her sound asleep upon her bed, curled into fetal position. Despite the fact that Derek had a full glass for her, he put it on the small round table beside her bed, just in case she was thirsty in the morning. He stood there gazing at her for a moment before leaning over to gently kiss her forehead, lingering for a long second. Moving away from her with a tender smile, he whispered, "Sweet dreams, Angie," and made his way outside of her room to opt the couch in her living room…

…when he noticed a small letter folded upon the glass surface of the coffee table in front of the couch.

"To mom," it had said in Angie's italic writing, written around today, which had caught Derek's attention, persuading him to unfold it and read it, even though there was this little voice inside of him telling him to refrain from doing so, for it was Angie's personal life; that there may be certain things in which Derek wasn't supposed to know.

Then again, maybe this could tell him why Angie has been really acting weird lately. And Angie does tell her mom everything, from what Derek was told by her father during the last time he saw him.

So, he unfolded it, curious to what was written on the pink paper.

Mom,

I'm relieved to know you're doing well at home. I'm sorry I was unable to visit you in the hospital. I'll make sure to make it up to you whenever I come by to visit England. I've been doing okay back here in California, I guess. Well, somewhat okay…

Do you remember the brand new car I've just bought last week? Well, not too long ago, some jerk broke into it and stole it. In addition to that, he broke into my apartment and stole most of my jewelry.

Jerk.

Do you remember my beloved Tasha? She ran away not too long ago when I set her outside of the coffee shop (since they didn't allow pets). I guess I didn't tie the leash around the tree tight enough.

I miss her greatly though. It's so lonely here without her.

Yes, Mom. I am spending Christmas alone again. But, it's not a big deal. In fact, many people sit alone in their homes watching TV on Christmas… It's really okay. Really.

So no, Mom. I'm not going to ask Dr. Stiles to accompany me on Christmas Eve and Day. Besides, he probably has his own agenda to attend to, and I don't want to get in his way. And besides… why would he want to spend time with me? I've probably done enough to him already. Heck, I've been extremely rough on him a few times, and sometimes hurt his feelings. So tell me why he'd want to accompany a witch like me…

Oh God. This is so ridiculous. It's so obvious about how I feel, and yet, I won't even admit it to anyone yet, especially HIM. It's like I'm 14 years old again, crushing over my Geometry teacher who I'll never even have. Except this time, I'm in love with this man who I'm not even supposed to be feeling this way for. He's supposed to be the man I respect, the man who I can trust with my life, nothing more than that—we're only supposed to be partners and colleagues, Mom. You know the law, mixing business with pleasure is just, well… bad.

And I can't help but break it, because I'm always with him; it's been this way for almost four years. He's more than what you see on the news and in the papers, Mom. He's more than just some doctor who saves lives. He just is, Mom.

And here I go again, being so childish and disgraceful. It's so pathetic.

Especially for the fact that I get so jealous over this other nurse who comes by to visit us occasionally. Don't get me wrong, I care about her to death, but I just can't help but feel so envious when he's with her—especially when I'm contemplating if he is falling in love with her. She's just so beautiful, Mom. And she's so well-fit for him. I should be happy for him, but, I don't know why. I just can't.

I know… isn't it selfish?

So, fine. To answer your final question on your last letter, yes. I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Derek Stiles. It's been that way for the years, and it'll probably stay that way 'til the day I die.

I apologize for rambling, Mom. It's been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like I need to get some weight off my shoulders.

Well, I better stop writing now. I hope Steve is doing well too. Make sure to tell him his step daughter says hi.

Love always,

Angie

He was speechless; stunned over such words that he never expected from her. They were so sincere, so passionate. He couldn't believe it with his eyes, so confused that he couldn't produce a coherent thought, unconsciously letting the letter fall upon the carpet while collapsing on the couch with perplexed, wide eyes.

Angie… loves me?

Alright. That's all for now :) Expect the update to take a while, because school isn't very easy on my at this point in time. D: Hoo Boy.

Until then...

-blackwings