She makes you shake.

Literally shake. Unsteady hands and clumsy feet, you don't even know who you are when she walks in a room. It's like you're not Derek; your coolness slips right out the window when she.

(You don't lose your head over a girl, you just... don't.)

It's crazy and unsettling so you compensate with harsh words and biting comments. She furrows her eyebrows, asks: why do you hate me so much? The question ties knots in your stomach, dries out your mouth; you walk away, because it's all you can do.

(It's all you can do to smother the truth, leave before it finds it's way out of your lips.)

At night, you let your heart (you have a heart?) win; at night, you can be honest with yourself. You take a deep breath and let the thoughts that you stuff away all day out. You let them run their course and create futures of you and her. You see yourself taking her advice, studying for her, trying. You let yourself answer that question, tell the truth. You let yourself have false hope that, maybe, she might just find herself in love with you.

(God, I don't hate you. Casey, I-I love you.)

You wake in a cold sweat, angry at your hopeful bullshit dreams. Because, you don't love her, she's Casey (name like a fucking swear word.), and you're not her type.

(nothertypenothertypenothertype.)

---

You have a problem with the way she says your name when she's angry, DER-EK! makes you squirm.

(It's the soundtrack to your late night fantasies about her.)

One night (it's Friday and you're dateless and she's studying), your Dad and Nora are gone on some weekend trip and Marti's at Grandma's and Lizzie and Edwin are at their friends' houses You're alone together and it makes you nervous nervous nervous.

&&&

He screws with your head.

Because everything is so perfect and organized in your world, and he just leaps in and trashes it all. When he's around, you lose yourself. Like you're not Casey, your plans and calculations fall away.

(You have no time for romances and heartbreaks.)

It's terrible and challenging so you take his remarks and throw them back at him tenfold, but you're just a girl and he gets to you. Frustrated and tired, you ask: why do you hate me so much? You wait for his answer, but he turns on his heel, walks away.

(You're tired of him walking away, you need an answer, you need to fix the problem.)

At night, you let your heart (you have a heart?) win; at night, you stop with the lying. You let out a deep breathe, and let your fantasies take you away. You see yourself listening to him, loosening up, skipping class. You see futures of college and apartments and falling into his arms. You let yourself wish for these things, wish for love.

You wake up burning, dissapointed in your stupid never-gonna-happen dreams. Because, you don't love him, he's Derek (name like a fucking sin.), and you're not his type.

(nothistypenothistypenothistype.)

----

You have an issue with the way he looks at you when he's angry, blazing brown eyes make you shiver.

(He looks at you like that in your dreams, except instead of anger it's desire that fules the blaze.)

One night (it's Friday and you're studying, as always, and he doesn't have a slutty blonde on his arm), the house is empty, save for you and him. It's rare and you're scared, because, God, he is sort of beautiful and you are tired of holding in and lashing out.

&&&

It's 2 AM and you have sucessfully managed to stay away from her all night. All the lights are off, including hers, and you are creeping down the hallway, avoiding the creaky parts. You slide down the steps soundlessly, thanks to years of practice, headed toward the kitchen. You round the corner beside the staircase, and there she is.

She's leaning against the counter beside the sink, clad in pajama pants and tank top, her hair tied up in a loose bun, drinking a bottle of water. The moonlight comes in from the window she's looking out of, and you are once again reminded of just how beautiful she is. You close your eyes tight and swallow hard, because this is exactly what you've been trying to avoid.

Your hand grips tight on the bannister and you are considering turning back around and going to your room when-

"Derek."

She looks at you, calm and collected, and inside you are freaking out. Because, all you want to do is touch her.

She looks at you strangely and begins to walk over to the stairs, she slides past you and you can't take it anymore.

She pauses when you are chest to chest, swallows, and her blue eyes meet your brown ones. You take in a big gulp of air, and as she begins to move up the stairs, you catch her by placing your hand on her hip.

Her skin burns your palm and you swear you are never going to forget how it feels. Her lips fall open and she looks from you to your hand, from you to your hand, from you to-

"Casey."

Her name falls from your lips and you are suprised by how strangled it sounds.

&&&

The night passes quietly and you are thanking God for it. It's about 2 and you're thirsty so you slip out of your room and into the kitchen for a bottle of water. You retrieve your water from the fridge and you stop at the sink to think for a moment. Because, Derek is terrible and mean and careless and he wrecks everything and you are not completely in love with him. You turn back to the stairs and he is standing there, eyes closed and hand grasping the bannister.

"Derek."

And, you are suprised by how in control it sounds.

He looks up at you, his eyes burning.

You shrug and head towards the stairs, and as you slide past him, chest to chest, you pause for a second, look into those brown orbs. You swallow and start moving again, then it happens. The move that you have imagined in your dreams for so long. His hand catches your hip and you stop, looking from him to his hand, again and again.

"Casey,"

He says, and it mirrors the sound of your heart beating. There's only a moment, a moment between his words and his mouth, a moment and his lips are on yours. You are suprised and God, finally. His kiss tells you that he's been feeling what you've been feeling, that he wants you too.

You are kissing him back, hard, fast, and hot, and you are not thinking, for once in your life. There are no what if's, for right now there is only Casey and Derek.

And it's enough.

&&&

She still makes you shake.

You still compensate, only now it's with kisses and love.

It's still crazy and unsettling, but in a good way.

And, your heart doesn't only win at night. It wins all the time, every day, because you're happy and you have Casey, and you realize that maybe you are her type.

Author Note:

This was fast and it probably sucked, sorry. Reviews are nice.