Hello, all! This was supposed to be a one-shot but turned into a story.

Set during the time L and Raito are chained together and Raito doesn't remember the Death note.

LxRaito.

Raito's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or locations, or anything related to Death Note. No profit being made here lol

Chapter 1

It all started when Ryuuzaki let the whole investigation team go home for a national holiday, saying that we all need a break. At first I thought that despite the unusual consideration on his part, this wasn't suspicious. However, when Ryuuzaki proposed to celebrate by ourselves with alcohol and what not, I immediately suspected that it was another test to find out if I am Kira or not. I was completely against and since I don't drink I refused to do it. He didn't wait to accuse me that I might be afraid to drink in front of him because I might slip up on some evidence against me. That's why I agreed to the little "celebration".

So we sat in one of the unused apartments, just the two of us and Watari there to serve us.

It started out very awkwardly; we couldn't find a topic to talk about. I tried to drink my first glass of champagne without complaining, whereas Ryuuzaki made a very sour face.

"I don't like the taste, Watari," he said after the first sip and put the glass on the coffee table. "There is nothing sweeter?"

"We have sweeter drinks but they contain a much higher percentage of spirits," L's butler replied.

"Then, no, thank you. I'll drink champagne," Ryuuzaki said and I thought that he must have been annoyed, despite the lack of facial expression or voice change.

I drank three glasses while Ryuuzaki finished his first and somehow the alcohol managed to brighten the dead atmosphere. I asked Ryuuzaki when he'd interrogate me but that got us talking about different stuff. At some point Watari brought a CD of pleasant music to kill the silence in the background. It was late afternoon and the light from the windows quickly disappeared setting a better mood.

To my surprise Ryuuzaki asked for a second glass of wine and kept insisting that I have more. I began trying to refuse after my forth glass, but he managed to make me accept two additional ones after that. I realized I was beginning to lose it and I was talking way too much. Ryuuzaki asked me to tell him stories about my high school life and to describe my senior year in great detail. I knew why he was asking, but I couldn't stop talking and I liked the attention. In my intoxication I almost enjoyed the idea that the world's greatest detective is on to me.

"Raito-kun wants another drink," Ryuuzaki called to Watari and a tray with a single glass of luxurious champagne appeared before my face. I was already slightly light-headed but I took the glass, lifting it to my mouth, while contemplating for the unknownth time that I must stop drinking.

My reflexes were delayed but I managed to stop my hand from automatically pouring the champagne in my mouth.

"Ryuuzaki, I didn't say I want another drink," I said, searching for the detective's face over the edge of the glass.

I finally saw him and with horror noticed that my vision was starting to blur. Ryuuzaki was sitting in his weird squatting position on a deluxe arm-chair, watching me fixedly, most probably still trying to find proof for his convictions of me being Kira.

"No, that's not what I was thinking," Ryuuzaki answered and for my further horror I realized that I had said the last thought out loud.

"Then what are you thinking?" I said, trying to mask the fact that I had spoken without intending to and taking a drink from the champagne for courage.

Ryuuzaki smiled slightly and I squinted to make out the scary expression, which I expected. However, either I couldn't see properly or he was smiling quite warmly and sweetly.

"Well, I was actually contemplating whether or not to tell you something," came the cryptic answer.

"Tell me."

I didn't expect Ryuuzaki to answer but I couldn't give a damn anyway.

"Alright, I am sure you know what I'm about to tell you," Ryuuzaki drawled, "but I am affirmative you are extremely attractive."

I was surprised by the comment, mostly because he used the words "I am affirmative" and "attractive", not "it is a fact that" and "handsome". I knew his word choices weren't random and I also accessed that the words he used have a more subjective edge to them. However, I was convinced that to think Ryuuzaki could have a crush on me was almost like thinking that a computer has a crush on me.

"Thank you," I said and took another drink for comfort.

"I like the color of your hair in this light. It compliments your eyes," Ryuuzaki blurted out and I felt my eyebrows going further up as he kept speaking, "But it's not just that, I like your entire structure and build, and posture and the way you move…"

"Ryuuzaki, cough, you can't be serious," I interrupted him clearing my throat and trying not to giggle. This whole idea of having L, the world's greatest detective, who suspects me of being Kira, have a crush on me and tell me about it was looking very funny to me. (despite the seriousness of the matter, which was to hit me once I was sober again.)

"I am serious," L said deadpan.

"I know you are," I began laughing uncontrollably then. I couldn't stop with all my self-control. It was impossible and I blamed it on the champagne.

I curled on the couch holding my stomach as I laughed to tears. I felt Ryuuzaki's cold hand grip my shoulder, causing the chills to run down my back. My laughing subdued and I looked up to see him kneeling in front of the couch inspecting my face blankly.

"At least we know that Raito-kun has had enough to drink to be honest with me now," he said and I frowned.

"You made me get drunk. What do you want now?" I sat up and brushed his hand away from my shoulder. He crouched on the floor in front of me as I composed myself, his thumb between his teeth as he clearly got ready to continue testing me, because that was what he had been doing, I realized.

But he didn't continue by asking me questions that appeared to have a relation to my supposed activity as Kira. So I thought he probably had more to gain from the pretence of having a crush on me, or whatever he thought he was pretending to do as he lied that he liked my appearance.

"Well, first I wanted to ask you what did you find so funny about what I told you?" Ryuuzaki said.

"It's just funny." I said, refusing to play his game.

"I don't see anything funny about it. Are you making fun of me?"

"Ryuuzaki, I have to ask you something too, were you telling me that you have a crush on me?" I said, smiling despite myself.

"No, I just said that I find you attractive, Raito-kun." I couldn't read anything off L's face and it annoyed me.

"So you don't want to call it a crush… but do you still mean that you are attracted to me?" I asked, slightly thrilled by the way the meaning changed (and deepened) by the alteration of words.

Ryuuzaki's eyes had been boring wholes into me the whole time, but now they flickered and slipped off to rest on the floor next to him. He genuinely thought about it… or how to lie about it. When he looked up he was smiling impishly again, while biting his thumb.

"Yes, a little," he said. I would have added "almost shyly" if I didn't know any better.

I felt my back straighten against the seat of the couch as I was quite literally taken aback by the answer. My eyebrows couldn't go further up, it seemed.

"Repulsed?" Ryuuzaki said, no expression change whatsoever, just looking at me from a slightly lower angle because of the way I had subconsciously brought myself back and higher up the seat.

"No, that's not it…" I said quickly, not wanting to offend him.

"Really?" he said and as if to verify my answer his hands landed on both my thighs. I jumped in surprise, but he held his hands there.

"Yes, its ok, but this is too much," I said, pushing his hands off.

He let them drop and kept staring at me, no longer smiling, as I cursed myself for having said it was ok. It wasn't ok – what was I thinking?!

"Wait, did you say you were attracted to me?" I blurted out, unable to stop myself because of the shock and the alcohol. As soon as I spoke I remembered that it must have been a test, but it was late.

"Raito-kun might have had a little bit too much – he isn't able to follow a conversation," Ryuuzaki said flatly.

"No, I mean, I know you said a little, but I am just very surprised," I said, brushing a hand through my hair.

"Why so surprised, Raito-kun," Ryuuzaki said, tilting his head, a half smile on his face flickered on his face. If I didn't know any better, I would have said that he was being seductive, but that was impossible. I must have been drunk and maybe even his smile was a product of my intoxication. "You know you are attractive, don't you?"

"Cough, I know, but I…" I felt my face turning red from embracement. I felt extremely uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"You didn't think I could be attracted to you?" Ryuuzaki finished my thought.

"Yes, exactly." I managed to say, not looking in his face anymore. I had to hide my blush and it was unbearable to look at his black eyes more.

"Do you want proof?" he said and didn't wait for an answer. He climbed up to sit on my knees. I let him because my reactions were delayed by the alcohol and once I realized that he was leaning forward, it turned out impossible to get him back down on the ground. I grabbed his forearms and pushed him back in order to secure a foot of space between our chests. He struggled with my grip and overpowered me easily, pinning my hands on both sides of my face. He looked at my eyes from up close, watching my reaction. And my reaction was total surrender – I stopped struggling, my body was too heavy for resistance. I turned my head to the side and I closed my eyes as if the situation would go away if I couldn't see it.

"Raito-kun? Raito-kun, open your eyes," Ryuuzaki said, but I didn't follow.

I felt his breath on my cheek. He must have come really close to my face. I could almost feel his nose and lips brush over my skin, but he didn't touch me.

"Look at me, Raito-kun," his voice was very soft. I almost felt tempted to open my eyes, but I didn't because I knew that it would give him permission to kiss me.

"I don't want to. Don't touch me, Ryuuzaki," I said calmly. I didn't want him to think I had freaked out. I just wanted him to stop. I am not gay!

"I just want to kiss you," he said just as calmly. His voice was very soft, almost a whisper. Again I almost felt tempted but I stayed firm.

"Aren't you persistent!" I chuckled despite myself.

"I have to be. Otherwise I don't get anything," he said matter-of-factly.

"I said no."

"Just once?"

"For hell's sake's, Ryuuzaki! No!"

"What will it cost you? Just one kiss?"

"No, I said no!"

"It'd be my very first kiss…"

Now that did the trick – I opened my eyes in the sheer surprise and looked at him. His inky eyes looked almost liquid in the gloom of the room. His pallid skin seemed strangely radiant in the blue light coming from outside. The way his eyelashes casted shadows over his eyes and skin made him look somewhat attractive… And that statement was just too heart-breaking to say no to.

"Would you really want to know that you forced your first kiss?" I asked and I bet he knew I was breaking.

"It wouldn't be forced if you agree," he smiled very slightly.

In the gloom he looked more human than ever. I had grown used to thinking of him as… well, not a machine, but not a normal human being as well. I didn't think that he actually wanted kisses or anything of that sort. He never showed emotion, and I had stopped thinking that he might be harboring any.

Or perhaps the alcohol was getting to him too.

"Ok, but just once," I whispered quickly, as if I didn't want to hear myself say it. I cursed mentally for giving in to his tricks, but I decided that I could always blame it on my drunken state. My approval had nothing to do with my sexual orientation, I assured myself.

His smile broadened and he leaned in closer to stare into my eyes. I averted my eyes and then closed them, not wanting to see him so happy. I couldn't take it.

Ryuuzaki hesitated, it seemed, but finally I felt him lean in, his weight shifting forward over my thighs. I felt a slight pang of arousal shoot towards my groin and held in a breath to suppress a sigh. I didn't want to admit it, but having Ryuuzaki sit on my lap was turning me on.

Soft lips pressed to my. He pressed his mouth on mine for a few seconds and then drew back, a popping sound emitted by the separation of dry lips. I suspiciously opened my eyes and saw that he was still only inches away from me. He had crooked his head to one side and was smiling wearily. I realized that he was judging my reaction. I wondered if it meant a lot to him and I knew I didn't want to hurt him.

"That was good," I lied, since it wasn't even a real kiss to me.

"Really?" he breathed and his eyes softened. I felt my heart jump. I hadn't expected to see a change in him. It terrified me.

"It's enough, we shouldn't continue – it's very immoral towards the investigation and I am straight, you know?" I said.

Ryuuzaki moved to sit back, giving me some space to breath. He brought his thumb to his mouth.

"Well, I am not sure how much I believe Raito-kun's claims for his sexual orientation… and as for the investigation, they don't need to know."

"How can you say this?!" I said, angrily. "Get off me!"

I pushed him and he got off voluntarily.

He moved to sit back in his seat and we argued some more about my sexual orientation until finally fell asleep on the couch.

I woke up on the next morning with a horrible headache in our shared bedroom. Ryuuzaki shook me to get up and I remembered the incident from our "celebration".

"Ryuuzaki, were you really that drunk last night?" I asked him while getting up.

"I was light-headed," Ryuuzaki said, biting his thumb. "I am not immoral, Raito-kun, and if I wasn't under the influence, I would have came to the same conclusions as you. We couldn't be kissing – it's immoral towards our investigation. But I still think you might be wrong about your sexual orientation."

"Ryuuzaki, when I said you were drunk, I meant that the fact that you wanted to kiss me. But now I understand that you aren't remorseful about that at all!"

"Why would I be? I had wanted to for a while."

That's what I was afraid of.

"Why would you think I'm not straight?!"

"Your relationship with Misa-san is the proof."

"What if she is not my type?"

"There is no such thing when teenage hormones rage," Ryuuzaki said.

I didn't know how to defend myself. And I felt confused. Could Ryuuzaki still be pretending to have a crush on me in order to test me, or did he mean it? I was very mixed up.

"You never said if you enjoyed the kiss," I asked quietly. I didn't look at him, I just stared at the floor and wondered why the hell had I asked.

I felt his gaze on my back.

"I did…" he said after some hesitation.

I looked over my shoulder. He had turned away from me. I seriously didn't know what to say and we just let the conversation drop, continuing with our day as if nothing had happened.

And I tried to forget but I couldn't.

TBA