Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters; that right belongs with Stephenie Meyer only.
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Bella and I walked up and down the shore, not a care in the world. I wanted to throw my head back and laugh jubilantly again, but that would be childish. No doubt was I ecstatic about our runaway escape. I don't know why, the knowledge that I had managed to outsmart vampires made me feel better about myself.
Knock it off, Jake, you're more superior than those bloodsuckers.
I looked down at Bella, suddenly feeling an urge to make conversation with her so she wouldn't grow bored and decide to head back.
"Do you think they'll come looking for you?"
The sight of the bloodsuckers crossing over to my land made my teeth pull back over my lips a bit. No doubt they would be able to resist coming after Bella if I kept her here long enough…
"No," she said firmly, effictively erasing the wicked plans out of my mind. "They're going to be furious with me tonight, though."
I heard the slight fear in her voice and it made me look away from her. Searching for something to do, I knelt down and scraped a small rock off the sand and launched it across the water.
"Don't go back then," I suggested, knowing it was a hopeless chance.
"Charlie would love that," she shot back mordantly.
"I bet he wouldn't mind," I bit my lip.
There was silence. There was no need to fill up the silence, and I basked in the comfortableness of our relationship. If only…
"So what's the latest pack scandal?" Bella asked suddenly.
I froze, my eyes automatically locking onto hers. How does she know? I didn't tell her, did I?...no, of course I didn't.
"What? That was a joke," Bella seemed a bit taken aback by my sudden reaction.
"Oh." I could've breathed a sigh of relief. Instead, I looked back into the waves of the water, watching them overlap one another. I was aware of Bella's gaze on my face, and I couldn't help wondering what she saw there.
"Is there a scandal?" she asked me, and I sighed, knowing that she would press the matter.
I let out a small chuckle, half liking, half hating the questions that she asked me. It was different. This was another reason I liked spending time with Bella. She was the only human that could accept me for what I was; we were perfect for each other. How could she not see that?
"I forget what it's like, not having everyone know everything all the time. Having a quiet, private place in my head."
I began leading her back down the beach, hoping she wouldn't ask me again. But I found nothing else to make conversation with, and she pressed the issue further.
"So what is it? That everyone in your head already knows?"
I hesitated, not sure whether or not I should tell her. It's not like she didn't know what imprinting was; she had seen it firsthand. Though I had just had the train of thought of Bella always accepting me, I still wondered how she would take the news. What would her reaction be like? How would she see imprinting now and wolves now?
But it was Quil, and she knew him. With a fierceness, I suddenly realized that it felt right to confide in Bella. If I couldn't tell her everything, then who I could tell? Without having them pick out everything from the corners of my mind, that was.
With a sigh, I dug into the story. "Quil imprinted. That's three now. The rest of us are starting to get worried. Maybe it's more common than the stories say…"
With my gaze already settled on her, it only grew in intensity, and I wondered if talking about this would push me into imprinting on her. My concentration shifted into her deep brown eyes, and I squinted.
Come on, imprint already.
"What are you staring at?" Bella broke my train of thought.
I sighed, knowing this wasn't the way it happened. I broke our gaze. "Nothing."
I needed to move again. I reached over and took Bella's soft, warm hand in mine and we continued at our pace down the shore again.
I waited…for her to delve deeper into the story. And then I knew I would have no choice but to tell her.
"Why is Quil's imprinting such a scandal?" she finally questioned. "Is it because he's the newest one?"
"That doesn't have anything to do with it."
"Then what's the problem?"
I ran a hand through my hair. "It's another one of those legend things. I wonder when we're going to stop being surprised that they're all true?"
"Are you going to tell me? Or do I have to guess?"
Unable to let her ponder anymore, I launched back into the story. "You'd never get it right. See, Quil hasn't been hanging out with us, you know, until just recently. So he hadn't been around Emily's place much."
A horrorstruck expression crossed over her face. "Quil imprinted on Emily too?"
Oh great. "No! I told you not to guess. Emily had her two nieces down for a visit…and Quil met Claire."
I stopped right there, feeling as if I was almost exhausting myself, replaying the story back in my mind. Emily's protectiveness was something I had not expected when it came to Claire, but it was understandable.
Would Bella react the exact same way?
"Emily doesn't want her niece with a werewolf? That's a little hypocritical," Bella's voice broke through my thoughts.
Ugh. "Would you please stop guessing? You're way off. Emily doesn't mind that part, it's just, well, a little early."
"What do you mean early?"
I stopped walking, and hesitantly looked down at her, fear suddenly planting itself in the core of my stomach. Fear for Bella's reaction.
"Try not to be judgmental, okay?"
She nodded reluctantly. Which only made me more reluctant to tell her.
Out with it, Jacob. "Claire is two."
I gauged her reaction apprehensively. This was a bad idea. She probably thought imprinting was freakier than any of the legends surrounding her bloodsuckers. She would never be accepting of this.
"Quil…imprinted…with a two-year-old?" she struggled with the words.
I had expected this much. "It happens." I tried to shrug casually. I avoided her gaze, not wanting to see the harsh judgments and accusations in her eyes, and knelt down again to grab another small rock and I threw it hard, watching it splash into the waves. "Or so the stories say."
"But she's a baby." Bella stated the obvious, and I wanted to roll my eyes.
Of course she would have forgotten everything I had told her. I bet she would never forget the nasty leeches legends. Jealously threatened to overtake me again.
"Quil's not getting any older. He'll just have to be patient for a few decades."
I waited in silence.
Finally, she spoke. "I…don't know what to say."
The accusations in her eyes burned and I didn't want her to be thinking about this any longer.
"You're making judgments. I can see it on your face," I told her accusingly.
"Sorry," she murmured, glancing away from me. "But it sounds really creepy."
I suddenly felt the urge to defend my race; our legends, and my best friend.
"It's not like that; you've got it all wrong. I've seen what it's like, through his eyes. There's nothing romantic about it at all, not for Quil, not now."
I wondered if I was only speaking through a lost cause, but I forced myself to go on. To make her see…even if it wasn't that easy explaining the deeper details.
"It's so hard to describe. It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like…gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it's not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her….You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother. Quil will be the best, kindest big brother any kid ever had. There isn't a toddler on the planet that will be more carefully looked after than that little girl will be. And then, when she's older and needs a friend, he'll be more understanding, trustworthy, and reliable than anyone she knows. And then, when she's grown up, they'll be as happy as Emily and Sam."
Sam's face clouded my vision and I had to grit my teeth together.
"Doesn't Claire get a choice here?" Bella demanded.
Had I not just explained it to her?
"Of course. But why wouldn't she choose him, in the end? He'll be her perfect match. Like he was designed for her alone."
Bella bent down suddenly, and picked up a rock. I wondered if she was doing what I had been doing; avoiding my gaze. I watched her launch the rock towards the ocean; it fell short a few meters, and I couldn't help laughing at her.
"We can't all be freakishly strong," she muttered.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair again.
"When do you think it will happen to you?" I didn't miss the sudden softness of her tone.
"Never," I told her honestly, a bit of a sour tone touching my voice.
"It's not something you can control, is it?" she asked, sounding like she was saying it as a statement.
It was an easy answer but I couldn't respond her right away. I had to think a bit.
"It's not supposed to be," I admitted. "But you have to see her – the one that's supposedly meant for you."
"And you think that if you haven't seen her yet, then she's not out there? Jacob, you haven't seen much of the world – less than me, even."
The sudden fierceness overtook my voice and I was gazing at her, my eyes burning holes into hers.
"No, I haven't," I found myself determined to explain myself to her; to tell her the truth. It was only a matter of time before I had to tell her that I loved her.
"But I'll never see anyone else, Bella," I continued distinctly. "I only see you. Even when I close my eyes and try to see something else. Ask Quil or Embry. It drives them all crazy."
She looked away from me, down at the sand. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, almost holding my breath, gauging her reaction.
"Maybe I'd better go home," she said quietly.
"No!" I exclaimed, completely taken aback. Damn. This had been the wrong way to go.
She finally looked up at me warily.
"You have the whole day off, right?" I pressed. "The bloodsucker won't be home yet."
Her eyes narrowed.
"No offense intended," I added quickly, hoping to batter her bad mood.
She sighed slightly. "Yes, I have the whole day. But Jake…"
I raised my hands in defeat. "Sorry. I won't be like that anymore. I'll just be Jacob."
Anything to make you stay.
"But if that's what you're thinking…"
"Don't worry about me," I planted a cheery smile on my face, trying to push whatever thoughts were roaming around Bella's head now away. "I know what I'm doing. Just tell me if I'm upsetting you."
"I don't know…."
Damn it.
"C'mon, Bella. Let's go back to the house and get our bikes," I suggested desperately. "You've got to ride a motorcycle regularly to keep it in tune."
"I really don't think I'm allowed," she admitted.
I had to refrain from rolling my eyes, realizing that she probably wasn't talking about Charlie anymore. She was talking about her warden.
"By who? Charlie or the blood – or him?"
"Both."
I couldn't resist grinning at the wary expression on her face, and I felt a sudden urge to earn her trust. I thought I already had it, but I wanted to prove myself to her suddenly.
I felt my heart almost swell up as she returned the grin, her cheeks warming up and I noticed how pretty she looked when she was smiling.
"I won't tell anyone," I promised.
"Except every one of your friends," she countered.
I shook my head and rose my right hand. "I promise not to think about it."
She laughed, a tinkling sound and I wanted to close my eyes at the sound of it. "If I get hurt, it was because I tripped."
No doubt that would happen.
"Whatever you say."
We went back, and retrieved our motorcycles. I began to tell that Bella was falling back into the more, comfortable, easy pattern when we were rebelling against the rules, back to being our old selves. I was pleased that we could both do something that we enjoyed. She was probably tired of sitting stiff, captured as a prisoner, in the leeches' home. The scent was definitely surrounding her. I was even beginning to get a little used to it.
Cut that out, Jake, I thought to myself as that last thought filtered through my brain.
When we were all done with our little adventure, and with cleaning the bikes, we sat back in the garage, almost breathing sighs of relief. I wanted to close my eyes and enjoy the relaxation; almost like how you would enjoy the sunshine streaming down on your face, warming you. Because that was exactly what Bella did to me. She warmed me.
"This is nice," she said casually, as I was pulling out a warm can of coke. "I've missed this place."
I smiled, appreciating that comment. I looked around me, and the rush of old memories flooded my brain. "Yeah, I can understand that. All the splendor of the Taj Mahal, without the inconvenience and expense of traveling to India."
"To Washington's little Taj Mahal," she joked, raising her can up to touch mine.
I couldn't resist the urge to bring back some old memories; this last one was sharper in my mind than the others. "Do you remember last Valentine's Day? I think that was the last time you were here – the last time when things were still…normal, I mean."
She laughed, and I relaxed. "Of course I remember. I traded a lifetime of servitude for a box of conversation hearts. That's not something I'm likely to forget."
I leaned back, enjoying the sound of us laughing together. "That's right. Hmm, servitude. I'll have to think of something good."
I sighed, as I pushed the memory out of my mind. It hurt too much sometimes. "It feels like it was years ago. Another era. A happier place."
She didn't answer, and I instantly knew where her thoughts were centered around now. Him. Because she probably remembered that era as well as I did…and it was part of her darker days.
Desperate to make her forget about him, I leaned forward, and lightly brushed my fingers across her delicate ones. "Things have really changed."
"Yeah," she agreed, reaching out and patting the back tire of the bike. "Charlie used to like me. I hope Billy doesn't say anything about today…." She chewed down on her bottom lip.
She looked adorable when she did that.
"He won't. He doesn't get worked up about things the way Charlie does. Hey, I never did apologize officially for that stupid move with the bike. I'm really sorry about ratting you out to Charlie. I wish I hadn't."
And it was true – I did regret the action.
She rolled her eyes, and I could tell she was still sour from the memory. "Me, too."
"I'm really, really sorry," I threw in, knowing she wouldn't be able to resist now.
She stared at me for a moment before answering, "Oh, fine! You're forgiven."
I grinned happily at her. "Thanks, Bells!"
I wanted to punch myself in the face for even thinking about ruining the mood. But this train of thought had been gnawing at my brain ever since. And Bella didn't have much time left before she had to leave – I had to ask her.
"Were you just being stubborn because you were mad at me, or were you really serious?" I whispered.
"About what?" she asked me, playing innocent.
I narrowed my eyes at her. "You know. When you said it was none of my business…if – if he bit you." I couldn't resist the cringe that followed.
"Jake…" her voice was dry.
I closed my eyes, trying to take deep breaths. The tremors were already beginning to rock itself along my body, even without having Bella answer me yet. But I already knew the answer. Out with it, Bella.
"Were you serious?"
"Yes," she breathed.
Control, Jacob, control. The tremors got worse at first, but just as quickly, I managed to contain myself, inhaling and exhaling deeply and noisily.
"I guess I knew that."
I could feel Bella's gaze on my own, and bit I didn't care about what she saw there at the moment. But she didn't say anything, and it was me who eventually broke the silence.
"You know what this will mean?" I demanded harshly. "You do understand that, don't you? What will happen if they break the treaty?"
Did she even care about the wolves anymore?
She answered in a tiny voice. Three simple words that she thought were magic to her. "We'll leave first."
My eyes flew open, and the anger threatened to overtake me. How stupid could they be? Could she be?
"There wasn't a geographic limit to the treaty, Bella. Our great-grandfathers only agreed to keep the peace because the Cullens swore that they were different, that humans weren't in danger from them. They promised they would never kill or change anyone ever again. If they go back on their word, the treaty is meaningless, and they are no different than any other vampires. Once that's established, when we find them again - "
She unbelievably interrupted my tirade.
"But, Jake, didn't you break the treaty already? Wasn't part of it that you not tell people about the vampires? And you told me. So isn't the treaty sort of moot, anyhow?"
My eyes tightened and I wanted to glare at her.
"Yeah, I broke the treaty – back before I believed any of it. And I'm sure they were informed of that. But it's not like that gives them a freebie or anything. There's no fault for a fault. They have only one option if they object to what I did. The same option we'll have when they break the treaty: to attack. To start the war."
She visibly shuddered.
"Jake, it doesn't have to be that way."
I felt a growl starting in the pit of my stomach. What more could I do to make her understand?
"It is that way," I told her forcefully.
She didn't say anything, and my eyes fluttered back closed, trying to regain my composure, and collect my thoughts.
She broke the silence before I had time to do all that.
"Will you never forgive me, Jacob?"
The pain in her whisper was unmistakable. I couldn't waver with her.
"You won't be Bella anymore," I replied firmly. "My friend won't exist. There'll be no one to forgive." My words came out harsher than I intended them to.
"That sounds like a no," she said in a broken whisper.
I gazed back at her defiantly.
"Is this goodbye then, Jake?"
Her words rattled me, bringing me back to the present. Back to clutching the girl I loved in my hands, not letting her ago.
"Why? We still have a few years. Can't we be friends until we're out of time?"
Nothing could have prepared myself for her words.
"Years? No, Jake, not years." She shook her head and let out a short laugh I couldn't comprehend. "Weeks is more accurate."
Before I knew what I was doing, I had leaped to my feet. My body began to shake uncontrollably, up and down my arms, starting in the core of my stomach and spreading rapidly throughout the rest of my body.
"Jake!"
It was a few moments before her voice registered through my mind, and I forced Emily's face to burst into my mind, and Sam's burning, regretful thoughts every time he saw her.
Bella's right in front of you, Jacob, Bella's right here.
I forced the shaking to go back inside my body. It finally stopped. But the anger had not faded. I ground my teeth together, and clenched my fists together.
"Weeks."
My eyes flew open, staring at the girl I loved in front of me in fury.
"He's going to change you into a filthy bloodsucker in just a few weeks!" The words coming out of my mouth did not make them any more believable to me.
She nodded, one confirmation nod.
I felt like I might hurl.
"Of course, Jake," she whispered softly. "He's seventeen, Jacob. And I get closer to nineteen every day. Besides, what's the point in waiting? He's all I want. What else can I do?"
Her words almost sent me into my fit of tremors again. I realized just how stupid Bella could be. And I felt fury. Fury beyond words. Anger at Bella, anger at her bloodsucker, at all the bloodsuckers…they deserved to die.
Was there anything I could ever do to make her see sense?
"Anything. Anything else. You'd be better off dead. I'd rather you were."
I barely heard her as she told me bleakly, "Maybe you'll get lucky. Maybe I'll get hit by a truck on my way back."
I almost felt a wave of relief as she grabbed her bike and pushed it past me. My eyes were unfocused as I felt her long hair brush my arms.
Go. Get away from here.
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A/N: Hopefully that gives some people a near accurate insight to what Jacob was thinking when him and Bella spent some time together. I wanted to get a feel for what was really going through his head when Bella told him the news that she's going to be transformed in just a few weeks, and how he managed to keep his temper under control and everything.
Thanks for reading.