!-- page { size: 8.5in 11in; margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } --

Disclaimer: Don't own, didn't happen.

"Isn't the beach beautiful, kids?"

Alice watched as her Aunt Lucy walked over to the border between the street and the beach, looking over at the ocean. The waves crashed against the white shores; the sun blazed down on the various people who traveled along the boardwalk. Yes, the place was beautiful....Her mother would have liked it...

It had been four months since Alice's mother had walked over to their apartment balcony; stood on the railing, and jumped off. A lot of people told Alice her mother had not been in the right state of mind after her parents had split up, and she knew this. A person could obviously not be well in the head if they think slicing their skin up all the time is the best way to heal. Alice was sure her mother would kill herself when she saw her standing by the same balcony she fell from.

'Mom? What are you doing?' Alice approached her mother slowly,

'Doesn't the sky look lovely honey? It reminds me of your father's eyes...'

Alice never knew what to say when her mother had spoken of her father. Telling her that he was nothing but a two-timing man whore who drank all day and cheated all night, would have only upset her mother more. Even though he had left her for another woman, Alice's mother still missed her husband, and wished for his return. Alice knew this would never happen. The man was too self-absorbed to care about anyone other than himself; he hadn't even hesitated when Alice called him to tell him about his ex-wife's death.

'Told ye it was gonna happen,' He said in a slur. It had been two in the afternoon and he was already drunk...

Typical Dad...

"Yeah mom," Her cousin, Sam, replied, "Real nice...Can we go home now?"

"Oh Sam," Aunt Lucy smiled, "You're going to love it here, trust me. Now, why don't you, Michael and Alice go get something to eat? It's been a long trip..."

She handed Sam a few bills, and he urged Alice to go with him. Long ago, Sam and Alice had been close. They were almost inseparable; they would sit for hours in Sam's bedroom reading comic books, watching television, or walking around town doing whatever they wanted. However, when Alice's mother died, Alice had become more closed in. The teenager was well aware that she rarely spoke to anyone nowadays, but Alice didn't care. She'd rather become mute than had to tell someone about her nightmares, or the nights she spent awake crying in her bedroom or the time she herself wanted to jump off a twenty-third floor.

It was her fault. The entire death was her fault. She knew her mother was ill, and yet she did nothing. Alice had not urged the doctor to send her to an institution, or to raise the dosage of her medicine. She simply sat back as she watched her mother's stability crumble. She felt her eyes sting with tears, but she held them back as she followed Sam to the nearest food vendor.

The last thing she wanted was attention...

"What'll it be, kid?" The fat tattooed hotdog vendor asked,

"Four hotdogs, please," Sam handed him the money.

Alice spotted the sweaty man's eye linger over to her, eyeing her with interest. Why did men like him do that? Were they that oblivious to their un-attractiveness? Turning away in disgust, Alice looked over to the rest of the street. All kinds of people, mostly tattooed people with weird hairstyles or clothing, walked around minding their own business. Alice was not used to so many strange people in one area. Back home in Phoenix, people were ordinary, so normal it made Alice want to barf. Here, in Santa Carla, it was interesting to watch.

"Hey Al," Sam called her attention, offering her a hotdog, "I got yours with lots of mustard. I know you like it,"

Alice smiled at her cousin and began to walk with him as she ate. The meat was hot, probably fresh. The mustard gave the bread and hotdog a tangy flavor that she loved. Her stomach had been growling for something good, and savoring the food, Alice could only grin slightly.

Sam was trying to be nice. It was in his nature to care about people, like his mom. He had spent half the car ride passively beckoning Alice to speak. To please him, Alice did, but not much. She felt if she spoke, she might reveal things that she didn't want to say.

"Now, Grandpa's house isn't too far away," Aunt Lucy said, when they returned, "So, we won't be driving much longer. Maybe if we unpack quickly, we can all go explore the boardwalk. It looks like fun, doesn't it Alice?"

Why did she single her out all the time? Was it out of pity? Alice nodded as she fixed a strand of her hair, looking over to her older cousin, Michael. Michael was a tall, brawny boy with curly black hair that trailed down to his shoulders. His motorcycle was bright red, but it was more of a dirt bike than an actual motorcycle; and his jeans, t-shirt and boots thing fit all too well with 'Biker' look he was trying to achieve. Sometimes, Alice wished she knew how Michael snuck around a person like his mother without being asked a single question? Was it because he was older and almost an adult?

Alice dreamed she had been older...

When Alice arrived at Grandpa's with her relatives, they found the old man lying on the floor, pretending to be dead. Well, it was only obvious to Alice, anyways, since she was the only one grinning. She recalled the last time she had visited Grandpa with her own mother; he had done the trick then too. Aunt Lucy hovered over her father, touching his head, looking for any sign of something being wrong.

"If he's dead, can we go back to Phoenix?" Sam asked, gaining a smirk from Alice,

"I ain't dead," Grandpa suddenly lifted his head, 'But I'm doing a damn good job at faking it,"

"Oh Dad!" Aunt Lucy laughed, hugging her father tightly.

"Ah, it was funny for the moment, wasn't it?" Grandpa asked the kids, hugging both Michael and Sam, "Haven't seen you both since you were small..."

He stopped at Alice, and his friendly smiled faded. When would people start smiling at her? All the pitiful looks and concerned gazes were beginning to bother Alice, and they only saddened her more. Grandpa touched Alice's small shoulder first, a worried look in his eyes,

"You alright, kiddo?" He asked,

Alice nodded, but she knew he didn't believe her. He brought her into a hug, drowning her in the scent of light sweat and cigars. It would have made any normal person gag, but Alice seemed to have adapted to this over the years. Letting her go, they all grabbed their things and Grandpa lead them inside his home. The house reminded her of a loge with taxidermy animals; wooden structure and elemental colors all around. Alice recalled the times when her mother and Grandpa would tell stories of her childhood b y the stone fireplace underneath the antler piece, and Alice would fall asleep listening to her mother's voice.

While Sam complained about there being no television, Alice took it upon herself to find a room upstairs. Hopefully, the room she used to sleep in was still there, and she could claim it as her own.

"Oh Alice!" Grandpa called to her as he trailed up behind her on the staircase, "There's something I want to give you,"

Alice stopped and settled her begs down on the middle step, watching her grandfather fumble in his pockets. He pulled out a long necklace from his pocket and handed it to her. On the end of the black rope hung a small green emerald that was tied in place by the rope. Alice recognized it was the necklace her mother used to wear before she had a nervous breakdown and tried to hang herself by using the necklace as a noose. She ran the pad of her thumb across the rough edges, feeling the point press against her skin.

"I know this might draw up some bad memories, but I thought it'd be right if you had it," He told her, "She always said she wanted you to have it if when she passed on. I never thought I'd be the one giving it to you,"

"Thanks, Grandpa," Alice spoke, a small smile on her face, "I really like it."

Grandpa returned her smile and then proceeded to help Aunt Lucy with the boxes. Alice turned, palming the necklace in her hand, and went upstairs. The room she had been looking for was mostly empty, beside the bed, dresser, wardrobe and mirror. Grandpa told her it had once been he and his wife's room, but after she died, he moved into a room downstairs. A tree blocked the view of the window seat, but it certainly made it easier to sneak out with a long branch being so close.

"I guess this is home now," Alice muttered to herself as she placed her bags on her bed.

She took another look at the gem in her hand. Most kids with suicidal parents would not an element of one of their attempts, but Alice could not find it in herself to throw it away. It reminded her too much of her mother, back when she was happier. The green resembled the green in her mother's eyes when she used to smile or laugh. If she threw it away now, what else would she have to remember? Alice tied the gem around her neck, and began to unpack...

If she could do anything for her mother, it'll be wearing the only thing she had left of her...