Sesshomaru was barely aware of his brother and sister-in-law leaving the room. He was too lost in the sight and scent of Rin. She was slightly taller than when he had last seen her; but she was thin, too thin, pale and frail looking. She was still beautiful, with her big brown eyes and shining black hair, soft pink lips and natural curves. But he hated that her eyes were duller than he had ever seen them. They used to positively glow with happiness and carefree innocence. Now she looked like her world had fallen down around her. And he supposed it had. He knew he had been her world…and he had left her, broken her heart. And he had broken his own heart in the process.

She kept her gaze trained on the floor, refusing to look him in the eye. It reminded him vaguely of a moment when she was a child; he had been gone somewhere, and she had, while he was gone, cut off half of Ay-Un's mane. Jaken had ranted and scolded and assured her of their master's deadly ire upon his return. So he had come back to an outraged imp, a shorn dragon, and a little girl who would not look him in the eye. He used the same tone and words now as he had then.

"Rin. Look at me."

It was a command, but softly spoken, gentle. Slowly, she brought her eyes to his. Tears ran down her cheeks unabashedly. She took a faltering step towards him and reached out with one hand…then stopped short.

"What is it, Rin?"

She swallowed hard.

"I wanted…I want to run to you, my Lord. But I cannot. Your mate…she would know if you touched me, even in kindness, would she not?"

His heart ached. Even now, even after all he had put her through, she still thought of him first.

He stepped forward and took her hands, wishing with everything in him that he had not chosen duty over what this sweet girl could have offered him.

"It doesn't matter, Rin."

He pulled her into his arms.

She shook like a leaf in a gale, holding back sobs. He tugged her even closer and allowed himself the immense pleasure of burying his face in her hair, breathing in her soft scent, silently urging her with his tight embrace to cry, to let it go, to stop fighting the tears.

As if she had heard his unspoken wish, she began to cry, sobbing out three years of hurt. He sank to the floor, sitting cross legged and pulling her into his lap, holding her tightly, like she was still the hurting orphan girl he had raised. He should have held her more often when she was little, he thought. He should have been more of a father to her; for maybe if she had thought of him as her father, and he had seen her as a daughter, this pain would not exist. But it had never been that way. She had been his ward, not his daughter; there was nothing to keep him from wanting her…from… loving her… once she reached a certain age. And she, he knew, had never seen him as her father, either.

What a fool he had been. Every chance at happiness he'd ever had, he'd let slip by. Kagura…a deep sorrow filled his heart at her memory. He had loved her, too, at least to some degree, though it had not been this intense. Yet he had lost that chance because of his foolish hatred for the scent of Naraku and the knowledge that she was a part of his hated enemy. Now she was gone. And it was not only romance which he had let slip away. How many years had he wasted on a foolish hatred for his brother over something that was their father's choice? Even now, though they had developed an almost friendly relationship, there was a wall between them. And now, Rin…lost because of his devotion to duty. How had he, who had once despised humans above anything else, fallen so deeply for this tiny human woman? He, who had despised his father so for doing exactly the same thing?

He thought of how his father had abandoned his mother in favor of Izayoi. Thought of how the entire story could repeat itself, if he let it. He could cast off his mate, take Rin to wife, and have hanyou children who would be despised and hated by his youkai children. He had never fully understood his father, until this moment; holding a human woman in his arms, torn between duty and love more than ever before.

"Rin?"

"Yes, my Lord?"

Her voice quaked and her eyes were red and she still had tears running down her face, but she still found it in her to address him respectfully. She was so very adorable, so very selfless and polite and sweet.

"Rin, always you have done whatever I asked of you, unquestioningly and faithfully. This time, however…it is you who may choose my way for me. If you wish…If you wish it, I will follow in my father's footsteps, and discard my mate, and take you as wife. If that is not what you want, then I will leave again…but no longer will I cut off all contact from you; I shall send Jaken or another vassal regularly to see how you fare and to pass letters and messages between us. It is your choice, Rin. For once, my destiny is in your hands, not the other way around."

Her eyes got wide, and for a brief moment, he again saw the joy that had once been constant in those gorgeous brown orbs. Her whole being seemed to light up; but it did not last long. A moment later she slumped against him.

"I…I cannot do it, Milord. I can not ask you to do this thing. It would likely cause a war with your mate's tribe. It goes against everything you are. Your mate's children would hate my children. I can not. I will not let you betray yourself for me. Marrying a human is beneath you, Milord, and I have always known that. That you care enough for me to even consider it is enough…it must be enough. Please…go, Lord Sesshomaru. It hurts too much to have you here."

Though internally his heart felt like it shattered, he kept his outward calm as he rose slowly, standing her lightly in front of him.

"Very well…Goodbye, Rin."

He laid his hand on the door-latch, now wishing only to get away from the pain, from Rin. Yet her sweet, shaking voice halted his steps.

"My Lord…"

He felt her approach him, though he didn't turn…she laid a hand on his forearm and for a brief moment he wondered if she'd changed her mind.

"Milord…there is one request…one small thing I wish you might grant me…"

He took her hand and looked into her eyes and for once let someone see his heart, his pain, his love…not forcing his eyes into their usual cold indifference.

"Anything, Rin. Anything you desire."

She stood on tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck and whispered, tears streaming down her flushed face.

"One kiss…just one kiss, please."

Her scent was so close, so sweet, wrapping around him gently. He pulled her close to him and for a long moment just held her…wishing it could always be this way…wishing for so many things that could not be. Finally he brought one clawed hand to her face, tilting her chin up, and very softly kissed her lips. Though he had at times, in his lonely nights on his balcony, wondered what he mouth might taste like, were he to delve inside and explore it thoroughly, there was none of that now. He did no more than let his lips rest against hers…too full of sorrow to be drawn into passion. Eventually he moved his lips up her cheek to rest on her forehead, kissed her lightly there, and finally admitted what was in his heart.

"I love you, Rin."

And then he was gone, into the night, back to his cold loveless life, with only the memory of her soft lips to warm him.

Rin slumped to the floor and cried, Kagome eventually appearing to comfort her. Her tears, however, were not so much tears of sorrow at what she had lost as they were tears of joy at what she had gained: the knowledge that her beloved lord loved her.