— In Dreams —

Maria called for James with the tone of a distressed child, expecting that merely speaking his name would magically bring him back to her. But her cries were blocked by the wall of fog outside the car.

She examined the driver's seat, noticing the keys still dangling in the ignition, slowly swaying as they settled to a stop. She reached over and frantically pressed down on the horn. It echoed through the world outside, sounding distant and lost like a fog horn lurking in the mists of a harbor.

Maria gasped when the radio suddenly squealed, the music quickly devoured by a roar of static and then slipping into pure white noise. She turned her head to the rear of the car when she caught movement in the corner of her eye, watching the hood of the trunk slowing rise open.

She moved her head about the interior of the car, hoping to see James rummaging through luggage, but her eyes couldn't reach beyond that open decklid. Maria could barely hear the white noise as her heart drummed within her ears, its frantic energy tensing her muscles and flushing her skin until she no longer felt cold. Her eyes tried to pierce the gray haze painted across the window of the passenger's side door, contemplating that world waiting outside the car, and then she opened the door.

The soles of her dark brown boots crunched a thin layer of ice sprayed across the parking lot. The sudden submersion into that cold fog roused a gasp from her lungs, the heat of her body escaping her lips in a spectral cloud that wove through the mist seamlessly before joining it. She pulled her scarlet sleeves down over her hands and smothered them in her arm pits, then stepped cautiously towards the rear of the car.

"James?" she spoke, arching her head to see around the open trunk, only to find no one standing before it. From the side of the car, her eyes glimpsed into the crack between the trunk and the raised decklid, catching a small glimpse of its contents. She saw the tip of a woman's shoe, a shoe she recognized. She remembered wearing that shoe even though she knew she hadn't.

Maria started to walk to the rear of the car to peek within that trunk, to discover what was hidden inside, but her arm suddenly shot out and slammed the trunk shut. She quickly looked away, cutting short the current path of her thoughts and screamed out James' name to steer them in a different direction.

The outline of a building gradually took shape within the mist. Maria found James' car was parked before a small motel, only two stories high. Her eyes searched further in the fog, squinting to focus on a sign in the distance. They discovered the saturated glow of neon letters, reading, "WAKE FOREST INN".

Those letters disappeared as snow tumbled towards the ground, the flakes clinging to the fabric of Maria's clothes and melting on top of her head, their cold residue seeping between her strands of hair. She started to walk towards the direction of the sign, seeking shelter and the reassurance of another human being, but suddenly stopped.

Maria looked back towards James' car, feeling that it would cease to exist if she let it sink into that fog. It was her anchor, a promise of James' return. If she lost sight of it, she could be lost within that cloud of nothingness forever.

Her head turned towards the direction of the lost sign and she called out James' name, then wandered back to his car as the snow poured down across the backdrop of fog, looking like static on a television screen.

The car was parked before room number 9 and Maria took shelter beneath the second story walkway. She looked at a trash can planted outside the window of room 9 with an ash tray on the top filled with sand, sprouting yellow and brown stained cigarette filters. She grimaced a little as she disturbed the planted cigarette butts with her fingers, seeing if any still had tobacco in them.

She knew Mary didn't smoke, so she plucked the longest spent cigarette she could find and took it back to the car. Maria started the engine and turned on the heater, then pressed the cigarette lighter in and turned the knobs on the radio as she waited for it to heat up.

The lighter popped its head out of its hole with a click and Maria pulled it out, her eyes watching it pass its orange glow to the tip of the cigarette perched between her lips. She felt the cloud of smoke travel down her throat as she inhaled, then watched it gush from her lips, propelled before her eyes by an eruption of coughs.

When her lungs settled and the tightness in her stomach subsided, she looked down at a spray of red sinking in the snow and smothered it with her boot until it was merely a dark blemish. Maria then gazed at the cherry of the cigarette, considering another drag, when she heard his voice.

"What're you doing?"

Her eyes followed her ears and she found James standing between the front of the car and the door to room 9. He'd zipped up that ugly green jacket she was starting to hate with his hands in its pockets.

"You don't smoke," he continued.

Maria's expression twitched, her lips pulled between a smile and a scowl. She wanted to embrace James, but an equal force of anger opposed that impulse and she simply stood there, staring into his eyes.

She inhaled another breath from the cigarette, her spite giving her the strength to let the smoke linger in her lungs.

"How would you know anything about me, James?"

He didn't answer, his expression confused as the answer seemed obvious to him.

"Where were you?" she asked, her voice subdued but simmering.

"I was getting a room – why are you smoking? You know you shouldn't be doing that."

She took one last drag off the cigarette and flicked it into the snow.

"I'm not a dog," she spoke, her words trailed by ribbons of smoke. "You don't leave me in the car with the radio on to keep me company."

"I didn't wanna wake you."

"I don't want to wake up alone. Ever."

"Sorry," he spoke meekly, his eyes slumping to the ground.

"You think you know me, but that's the one thing you should definitely know by now."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"Yeah, 'sorry' is a real easy word to say."

He didn't speak, keeping his eyes cast downwards like a scolded puppy.

"Well where the hell are we?" Maria spoke through chattering teeth.

"Wake Forest."

"Okay, and where the hell is Wake Forest?"

"I don't know. It's some small town."

"What's with the fog and the snow? It was clear when we left."

"I don't know," James shrugged, not caring. His eyes were glazed with a willful naivety, his senses conditioned to accept any world that appeared around him.

"We're still near Toluca Lake," he added.

"What? The fuck James? Did you drive for five minutes?"

"I'm tired Maria. It's been a long – I'm just tired."

James' chastised composure weakened her anger and she walked up to him, caressing his cheek with her fingers. His neck tensed and pulled his head back slightly, somewhat overwhelmed by her warmth.

She ran her hand across his scalp, the sensation of his hair between her fingers arousing a past life in Maria's mind. That love awoke within her stomach and burned through her limbs until the cold could no longer touch her. It didn't belong to her, but she wanted to believe.

"I'll never yell at you," she spoke, "or make you feel bad. I'll be here for you. Forever."

Maria hooked her arms around his neck and leaned in close, the condensation of her breath clinging to his skin.

"Isn't that what you want?"

James didn't answer, his thoughts devoured by her unfamiliar touch.

Her hand crawled down his chest, taking in the feel of his body beneath his clothes, and she started to pull down the zipper of his jacket.

"What're you doing?" he asked with naive words.

Maria's eyes teased him, a smile growing across her face as she pulled the zipper down to the end of its tracks.

"Don't play so innocent," she said.

She slid her arms beneath the jacket and around his chest, pulling herself closely against him until their bodies shared their warmth.

"I'm cold," she spoke as she laid her head against his chest, listening to the quickening pace of James' heart.

His shoulders were drawn back and his hands hovered around her, his body stiff and rigid as it was unprepared to cross that threshold. He gently stepped away from Maria's embrace and pulled off his jacket, then draped it over her shoulders.

Maria just stared at him, dumbstruck by his clumsy chivalry.

"Wow – what a gentleman," she spoke sarcastically.

James ignored her comment and pulled a motel key from his pocket as he walked towards room 9. Maria stood in the snow, watching him walk away with bewilderment and sighed loudly, trying to bait his attention. But she finally relented and followed him into the room.

It was a small and simple room, looking as though it hadn't been changed since the 1950's. James and Maria saw themselves in a mirror resting at the opposite side of the room, just outside the entrance to the bathroom. An old television with knobs and a rabbit-ear antennae stood on top of the dresser.

Across from the television where two beds, separated by a night stand.

"Are you kidding me?" Maria spoke. "Is this supposed to be our special place?"

"Stop," James spoke mildly.

"Do you push the beds together on special occasions?"

"Maria – I'm not in the mood."

Maria rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Jesus James. You have no sense-of-humor."

James sat down on one of the beds and switched on the lamp on top of the night stand. Maria shed his jacket from her shoulders and dropped it on the empty bed, then crawled next to James, taking her boots off as James emptied his pockets onto the night stand.

Maria dropped one of her boots in the space between the bed and the wall, then looked over James' shoulder, watching him place his handgun in the drawer next to the Bible.

She started to sing softly as she took off her other boot, watching James' back as she did so.

"Rocky Raccoon, checked into his room, only to find Gideon's bible."

James didn't notice her, his shoulders slumped down and his eyes looking upon something in his hands.

Maria crawled up to him, wrapping her arms around him and resting her chin on his shoulder, peeking down at Mary's letter in his hands.

She reached down and plucked the letter from his hands, his fingers willingly giving into her, and she tossed the letter aside.

Maria leaned over until to was to his side, then placed her palms upon his cheeks and guided his eyes to her.

"Hey," she spoke, "Look at me."

James' eyes were pointed towards her, but he seemed to be gazing within himself.

"I'm with you now," Maria continued. "I'm yours."

She looked over at the night stand and spotted his handheld radio. She grabbed it and turned it on, tuning through the static and white noise until she picked up a signal.

She set the radio back on the night stand with music popping and cracking from the speaker.

"Go to sleep,

everything is all right."

Maria grabbed his legs and laid them across the bed, then hiked the fabric of her skirt up her thighs before straddling him.

"I close my eyes,

then I drift away,"

Her fingers extended up his cheeks like a frame as she leaned in, her lips kissing his cheek and slowly crawling towards his mouth.

"Into the magic night,

I softly say,"

When she met his limp lips, she looked up to his eyes, finding James still lost within himself. She whispered into his ear, "This is the only moment that exists. Nothing else matters."

"A silent prayer,

like dreamers do."

His weary eyes awoke and looked at Maria, who smiled at them.

"Then I fall asleep to dream,

my dreams of you."

James timidly reached his hands towards her. Before they could reach her under their own force, Maria grabbed them and guided them up her back, wedging his fingers beneath her clothes.

"In dreams,

I walk,

with you."

He pulled her closer towards him, to which she responded with giddy laughter, speaking breathlessly, "Good boy."

"In dreams,

I talk,

to you."

Her lips hovered less than an inch from his, her eyes gazing into his, waiting for him to make the final step. Then James leaned forward and sealed his lips with hers.

"In dreams,

you're mine,

all of the time."

She wrapped her legs around his waist, crossing her ankles behind his back, and her hips started rubbing across his lap. Her fingers sifted through his hair and she pulled his head closer to hers, pressing his lips deeper into hers, encouraging his efforts.

"We're together,

in dreams,

in dreams."

Maria suddenly pulled away from James, turning her head and bringing her hand to her mouth as her lungs started to bark with a cough. She unlocked her ankles and crawled away from him to the other side of the bed, barely able to inhale another breath between coughs.

"Sorry," she struggled to speak.

"It's okay."

Maria crawled to the edge of the bed and stepped onto the floor, walking towards the sink beneath the mirror and filled up a cup of water. She poured the water down her throat, trying to drown the coughs, but suddenly spewed water across her reflection.

She grabbed a wash rag and smothered her mouth with it, the yellowing white fabric absorbing her coughs.

She finally pulled the rag away, taking a deep breath and waiting for another round of coughs, but they didn't come. She looked down at the rag, noticing small specks of blood, then looked in the mirror to see if James was watching her, subtly tossing the rag into the trash-can when she was assured he wasn't.

She swallowed another cup of water, able to keep this one down, and walked back to the bed and James.

But she found James in the same position she had left him, his eyes closed and his mouth open. Everything had finally caught up to him and he had fallen into sleep.

Maria crawled next to him and nudged him, speaking, "James."

She shook him, trying to stir him from his sleep. His eyes opened weakly and looked at her, but quickly shut again.

"Ah-uh, you're not falling asleep on me."

She kissed him, but he didn't wake up. Maria sighed and gave up.

"Damn it James."

She curled up next to him, her body curving to fit the shape of his as though they were two pieces of a whole. The beating of his heart was a lullaby to her ears and she smiled as her eyes closed, gently moaning as she fought the urge to drift into a dream, wanting to stretch that moment across eternity.

"Mary", James muttered in a half-woken daze, wrapping his arms around Maria and pulling her closer to him. Maria opened her eyes and sighed, staring up at a brown water stain in the ceiling as she tried to convince her ears to pretend that he had said "Maria".

*Song- "In Dreams" by Roy Orbison