This is complete and utter randomness that I had to fulfill. I don't own Naruto. I also have to give idea credit to CaityAndNaeHeartCookies , because I read hers and got this idea.
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"Naruto, my most formidable opponent, would you care to spar with me?" Naruto hears from behind him. He sighs. Not now. He was looking for people to help him with his master plan. Then the thought struck him
"Hey Bushy-Brows, how about we do some other type of sparring?" he asked the very easily fooled Lee coming up behind him.
"A different type? Is it youthful?"
"Yes. Very. Come with me while I gather the others to help me with this 'training'," Naruto told him while running in the direction of the Hyuga household.
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"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"It'll be fun!"
"No it won't."
"I'll invite Tenten..."
"...I'm in."
...
An hour later and lots of begging, four ninjas stood in front of what is known as "Walmart". Naruto was very satisfied with the way this had turned out. He now had Lee, Neji, and Tenten to help him. He'd already explained the plans. They were to cause mischief all over Walmart. Naruto was the leader with Tenten as co-leader.
"OK, let's do it!" Naruto said loudly, then ran into Walmart, Lee and Tenten following at a run, while their teammate followed at a much slower pace.
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1. Hide in the clothing rack, and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
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"OK, Tenten, Lee, you're going to the ladies section. Neji and I will be in the Men's," Naruto said. He'd planned it this way so no one complained, though Lee would have gone through with anything for what was now known not to be training, but pure fun. Tenten was open to lots of things, but Neji was Neji.
"Hai!" Lee yelled, saluting Naruto. Tenten shook her head and pulled him to the ladies' section.
Naruto and Neji went into the men's section and both chose their rack. Meanwhile in the ladies' section Tenten and Lee did the same. Now to wait.
Lee's wait wasn't long before a very, and I mean very fat woman came to his rack. He happened to be hiding in the dresses section, and made up in his mind what to say.
"PICK ME, PICK ME, I'M SO LOVELY AND YOUTHFUL!" Lee yells while shaking a very skinny dress that would most definitely not fit the lady. She looked into the rack and hmmphed. Then she smacked Lee hard and walked out. Number one out. Maybe it wasn't that very good idea for him to do this.
Neji's person was next. This one was an average man who was looking at the plaid shirts that Neji was hiding in.
"Pick me, for it is your destiny..." Neji whispered very softly. The man's eyes widened slightly and he looked around quickly. He looked back.
"You've come back for me haven't you? I knew you weren't lying when you told me I was the Chosen One," the man said to the shirt. Then he picked it up and walked to the registers without trying it on. OK, maybe Neji didn't need much help for this one. Of course he got the crazies.
Naruto was next up.
When the portly man in a suit walked by he said, "You would look lovely in me, Mr. Handsome."
The portly man sees Naruto through the hangers and stiffens.
"How rude!" he says then stalks off.
Maybe Tenten would have more luck.
A women who was probably anorexic by how small she was walked up to Tenten's rack.
"Now would you look good in me? You've been trying to impress the man of your dreams haven't you?" Tenten says. At first it seemed to work, but then the lady fainted. When that happened, Tenten got away fast. The group meets up, Lee sporting a new hand mark on his cheek.
"Should I get something for it?" Tenten asked Neji.
"No, Sakura can do that later," Neji told her.
"Time for phase two!" Naruto says. Neji sighs. This is going to be a long day.
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2. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud, "Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"
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"HEY, WHY IS THERE NOT ANY TOILET PAPER OF YOUTH IN HERE?" Lee yells from the dressing rooms. Naruto and Tenten high five, while Neji looks like he might be enjoying watching the employees scramble around like chickens with their heads cut off around the dressing rooms. One actually runs smack dab into a wall. Ouch. Naruto spotted customers standing there with looks of disgust on their face. One looks like they might need to run to the bathroom quickly.
"NO WAIT, I HAVE GOT IT. THERE WAS A SHIRT IN HERE I USED!" Lee yelled. Naruto and Tenten start snorting and falling over, while Neji cracked a smile. This made the employees even more frantic. One fainted, this one looked like he was new. Wow, Lee improvised. Lee came out, sighing. Then something hit Naruto.
"You didn't actually use it did you?" Naruto asked, worried.
"Of course not. I must be a very good actor." Lee said, causing Naruto to sigh with relief.
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3. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that you're a cat.
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Tenten was chosen for the next part. She was also an excellent actor. At least when it came to cats. She even gathered chakra to make it look like ears and a tail. She chose people at random to freak out. Poor innocent people. At least they have something to tell their families when they get home.
She went up to a little 5 year old first. When she rubbed up against the boy, he looked down. Then he petted her.
"Look Mommy! It's a kitty! Can we keep her?" the little boy asked, then seeing the mom taking her child as far away from the freak as possible, started to cry. The mom then promised chocolate and the child shut up.
Tenten went up to an old lady next. She started to 'pur' and rub against the lady when suddenly she felt something on her back. The lady was hitting her with her purse. Even though it didn't hurt, it was quite odd. She then hissed and crawled away from the lady.
Next she did something odd. She started to rub against Neji's legs, to his embarrassment. Or so it seemed. He was blushing like mad but wasn't pushing her away.
"OK, that's enough of that!" Naruto said. Tenten blushed and stood up like a human. She looked away while the chakra ears and tail disappear. Lee cocked his head, not getting any of this exchange, much to the relief of Neji and Tenten.
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4. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
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Naruto was waiting for the perfect moment. He was poised near the registers, with Lee, Neji and Tenten hiding among the people around him. Finally the moment came.
"Azu Yamamoto, please come to the front desk" came the announcement over the intercom. There it was.
"NONONONO! NOT THE VOICES AGAIN! LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!" Naruto yelled, falling over and curling into a ball. He was shaking all over, giving a very good show. Little kids were pointing at him while their mommies tried to hurry them away while employees tried to straitjacket Naruto.
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Naruto yelled, then jumped up, hiding behind a clothing rack. Then he jumped onto the ceiling when no one was looking. Tenten and Lee laughed while Neji snorted.
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5. While handling kunais in the ninja weapons department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are.
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Neji had to do the next one. It wasn't much to his choice, as it was already made up by someone else, that someone being named Naruto. So that's how he came to be looking over the kunais and waiting for an employee to walk nearby. The others were hiding on top of various aisles to watch. When a buff looking dude walks over near him, he sees his chance. He grabs the biggest kunai he can find and walks over to him.
"Do you happen to know where the anti-depressants are?" Neji asks the man, trying to sound depressed. Before the guy can answer, Neji says, "You won't tell me, will you? You guys are always the same! Uh!" This alerts the man who tackles Neji. He pulls the kunai from Neji's grip then calls for backup.
"We've got a depressed one over here!" the buff dude says. Maybe Neji should have chosen another person to ask. He transported himself away to sit crouching next to Tenten.
"Not the brightest idea," Neji commented. Tenten snorted. They watched the guys below give up searching for Neji and return to business.
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6. Challenge others to a duel with tubes of gift wrap.
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Lee and Naruto both stood about 7 feet apart.
"Naruto, I challenge you to a gift wrap tube duel!" Lee said even more dramatically than usual. Tenten and Neji had been slipping around to get customers to watch. There was currently a crowd of: three five year olds, with moms of course. 5 Adults, and then the old lady that had hit Tenten with her purse.
"I accept your challenge! Prepare to be defeated by my awesome tubey-ness!" Naruto say, flailing into Lee. Lee of course dodges. He hits Naruto in the head then jumps backward, staying on guard. From the very beginning it was obvious who the winner would be. After a good beating with a cardboard tube, Naruto laid on the ground, defeated.
"I submit to your awesomeness. You may have beaten me this time, but I will get my revenge!" Naruto tells Lee.
"You can try," Lee says, turning and bowing to the large crowd that had gathered. They clap, awed. Tenten and Neji start signaling wildly the sign that they had made to mean that employees are on their way. Quick as a flash, all four were on the ceiling, leaving the crowd wondering where they went. The employees acted the very same way.
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7. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
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This was made for Tenten really. That said though, no one wanted to not do the next one, even Neji. So Naruto assigned them to different areas all over the store. Mission: throw as many things over into the next aisle over without getting caught by an employee. When an employee gets close, run. Run fast, to another aisle to start all over.
Lee started out in ladies' underwear. How this occurred, no one ever figured out. Actually, no one was sure if they wanted to. His plan: throw as much of the ladies' underwear into the men's underwear aisle as possible. Though Lee couldn't see wear he was throwing it, he threw with all his might. The first thing he threw, a very frilly one actually, well it landed on someone's head. How did Lee know this? Well, he heard the screams and then the thump when the person ran into the wall. He continued to throw as much as possible over into the aisle when he spotted a female employee homing in on him. He jumped up and over, glimpsing the men's aisle littered with female things. Up and over, to the rafters.
Tenten was situated in the hardware department. She had been the one to pick this aisle, yet again to unknown reasons. Most people thought it was because of the multiple hard things that were there to use. She started off throwing small things but gradually got larger. She happened to be aiming into the toys section, near were Naruto was positioned. She knew that she would most likely eventually hit someone, so when she heard the large thump she guessed that someone had been hit with some sort of car part. When she heard rather than saw the large group of employees coming to get her, she jumped up and away, much like the way Lee had. Now she was perched in the rafters near Lee.
Maybe Neji was really the person made for this one. He had activated his Byakugan so that when he threw the stuff he actually knew where it would go. He was to cause complete mayhem in the food area. This was complete with him throwing bread, peas, cans of soup, bags of flour, chocolate, with several other things in his arsenal of food. He had come to enjoy this for some reason, though he would never tell Naruto this. And his family was never going to find out about this. When he saw the employees through his Byakugan, he jumped up, landed next to Tenten. Now it was up to Naruto to cause complete and utter mayhem.
Now it all fell to Naruto. He was to cause chaos in the toys. He started in the action figures, throwing them into the girly stuff. Then he switched to the girls dolls, throwing them into the boys stuff. He was constantly hitting people, mostly small children with them. But not on purpose of course. He was enjoying himself too much. Now he moved to the board games and threw them into the next aisle over. He moved throughout the toys, throwing whatever was closest. When he got to a thing of balls, he of course started to throw them in every direction. He almost didn't spot the employee until the last moment. He jumped up to the top of the aisle, then up next to Lee. All of them where laughing outright now. Tenten and Naruto high fived. Now on to the next thing.
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8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
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Though they were all doing this one, they had to have the "Handsome Devil of the Leaf Village" being the leader for this one. They all got a range of mannequins, with Tenten handling the girl mannequins. Lee found a good amount of jumpsuits to put on the mannequins, with legwarmers to match. All of his mannequins looked like him. Naruto approved this only after he took a marker the eyebrows.
Tenten made sure all the things on the mannequins didn't match. Lee was fine in that area but she was worried about Neji either dressing them up like girls or...Hey wait. When this idea struck her, she took it to Neji. He agreed and made sure that, with Tenten's help, every guy mannequin was dressed in a frilly pink or related color dress.
Naruto had no problem either, making everyone of his not look good drastically and for an added affect, making them have stuff in their hands, like racoons, shoes, and toy kunais. Other animals were also used to make this look the best.
As a side note, Naruto stood very still for a while, posed like a mannequin. When he saw a large family walk by, he looked at an imaginary watch then sighed and moved, saying loud enough for the people to hear, "They don't pay me enough to these kind of things". Then he walked towards where Tenten, Lee and Neji were snorting in relative silence. The family collectively looked at the other now horribly dressed mannequins and moved away very quickly. As soon as they were gone the group fell over laughing.
"There they are! Get them!" the group of Shinobi heard come from their right. They saw a large group of employees with tranquilizer guns, and then disappeared up into the rafters above Walmart.
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9. Two words: Marco Polo.
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"MARCO!!"
"Polo!"
"Polo!"
"Polo!"
Yes, the mass game of Marco Polo has come. Let's see if Lee can find the correct people while blindfolded. The entire store was open to their game. Let's hope it isn't long before Lee finds the others, instead of just the random customers that have been the only ones being caught so far.
"MARCO!"
"HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO FIND US!" came what seemed to be Neji's voice, in the direction of the jewelry department.
"Polo!" Naruto was hiding somewhere in the food, that much was clear.
"Polo!" Tenten's voice seemed to be coming from... above him? That's it! He jumped up quickly, grabbing something.
"I have got you now, Tenten!" Lee said triumphantly. Tenten sighed.
"Yes, you did. Now how about we find the others." she answered while putting on her blindfold so that she could help Lee in this messed up game of Marco Polo.
"MARCO!" they both yelled at the same time, waiting for an answer.
"Fricken polo over here!" came Neji's voice, this time from the ninja tools section.
"Polo!" Naruto was still in the food department. They went after him, being the closest. They found him quickly, using only their ears to find him.
"I have you too now!" Lee told Naruto, and Naruto got up.
"You do. Now let's go get Neji!" he said, putting on his blindfold.
"MARCO!"
"Polo!"
"There they are, they're playing Marco Polo!" came an extra voice. This one was that of an employee, obviously. They went in the direction of Neji. When they caught him, they pointed up. They all jumped to where they couldn't be gotten.
"Now it is time for our final one. This one will be awesome!" Naruto says.
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10. Improvise!
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"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Naruto was currently riding on one of the bicycles he had found in the bike aisle, just as crazy as he could. He was continuously running into things and knocking them over. The clothing was a mess and so was the food. He was on his way back to the toys to get a horn.
Tenten was sitting with things of makeup and shampoo and other certain things of the same kind strewn all around. She had been smearing them everywhere, and had emptied a bunch of shampoo and conditioner all over the place. When Naruto passed by on his way for a horn she gave him a bunch of bottles to squirt everywhere and leave the bottles all over the place. He accepted happily, saying they would come in handy.
Lee was over in the clothing. At least he had been. He was currently in the rafters on the ceiling of Walmart, scattering clothes all over. It was raining clothes of all sorts, falling on people and things and into shopping carts. He then looped back to get more stuff to dump. As one was falling on Naruto, he grabbed it and continued to ride.
Neji was in the jewelry. He had aways wondered what the point of them was. So he was currently throwing them everywhere and dropping them on people. He went to the purses and scarves and covered people with them. Then he went to the mannequins and picked them up. He went up to the rafters, nodding to Lee when he passed with a mass armload of stuff. He started to drop the mannequins all over the store, making sure to aim for the only people left in the store. Most had evacuated long before this. He made sure he dropped the mannequins at an angle that made even weirder. Then he realized something.
No one had messed with the shoes department.
He made a turn there immediately. He picked up box after box and emptied their content throughout the store. Sometimes he just dropped a whole shoebox, sometimes he just did it one by one, and sometimes it was a gradual thing. Neji looked at what the others where doing and how the store in general was. It looked like a 7 year old's bed room. Then he heard the signal. He was to meet at the front so that they could make their escape now.
Too bad they had barricaded the door and were standing at the door. They must have given up trying to find them and had just waited for them to leave. Sure there was struggle, but the shinobi had only half as many ninja tools as usual and these were civilians. So they gave in. The really bad thing is that they couldn't expect much mercy from Tsunade.
...
"They really did all that?"
"Yes ma'am," the manager told Tsunade, who had Sakura and Shizune standing behind her. Naruto was happy to see that Sakura was giggling, but couldn't tell about Shizune and Tsunade. They would probably end up doing genin work for another year.
"You may leave, as I will give them their punishment now," Tsunade told the manager, who bowed and left the room.
"Let me guess. Naruto, you were the master mind behind this, weren't you."
"Maybe, Tsunade-baa-chan," Naruto said. Tsunade was quiet for a while. Then she burst out laughing and Shizune cracked a smile.
"That must have been hilarious. Your punishment will be... um, Shizune, help me here,"
"Working to pay the damages?"
"OK, that'll be your punishment. And Naruto?"
"Hai?"
"Tell me next time you plan to ransack a public place. I'll bring a camera and popcorn."
...
I'm really proud of myself for this actually. It's very good in my opinion.