Hiya!

This is Gabriel speaking. Yush I know, you're all probably thinking, " Oh, no! Not another Sasunaru with a Prince and love and happily ever after!"

No worries! Here, I guarantee love won't come up until much later, after all, if they fall in love by the second chappy, what's the point? I can't say light romance shall not be in the air, but that's about it. And also, this is YAOI people, so no likey, no readey. No flames about that please. Actually, no flames in general. Those are dumb. However, constructive criticism is always appreciated! ^-^

Warning: Yaoi (for now, it shall be in a high rating only 'cause of language)

Disclaimer: No characters are mine, except the tiny itty bitty OCs which aren't really important anyways. The basic plot isn't really mine either, but apart from the whole Prince and Princess thing, then YES its MINE; back off.

Chapter 1

'And so God came down from the heavens and said, "Bitch, your name is Sakura." '

"Princess? You called me?"

"Indeed Naruto. Please come inside."

Naruto stepped inside the doors to his princess' room and closed them. Inside he turned to the princess seated in front of him, his arms at his sides, and his torso bent at just the right angle to show that he was willing to do her bidding. This, of course, was just for show, as he often refuted her words and refused to do what she told him to do if he found it too silly or dangerous. She still was the princess, thought, and so he was forced to at least pretend that she had complete control over him.

In front of him, Princess Ino sat, facing her mirror, thousands of perfumes, body lotions, make-up and other feminine products surrounding her on her vanity table. Her long blonde hair fell down her shoulders in a pony-tail, and it shone spectacularly in the strategically directed sunlight from her windows. She turned in her chair and let her blue eyes sweep over him. Naruto felt his insides clench in apprehension. He could sotell he was going to have a hard time digesting whatever it was that Ino had cooked up for him this time.

"Yes, you will do quite well..." she murmured under her breath. "Naruto will you try on that dress? The blue one on the counter?"

Naruto's eyes widened significantly, but he turned to the counter, where, indeed, a blue dress lay. He raised an eyebrow towards the Princess, but approached the garment and held it up. Inside, he was already making a huge list on ways to refuse to do this, whatever it was, and another list wondering why in on Earth was Ino asking him to try on a dress, of all things. "Um, Ino...I-"

"Just try it on," she answered, with fake sweetness in her voice. Naruto swallowed, not daring to continue his question. She still could force him to do most things, if she wanted him to do them hard enough. He quickly stepped into the dress, still keeping all other clothes on, and rose it up to his torso. As the ruffles settles on his waist and his eyes turned back to look at Ino, he realized she had stood up and was looking him over curiously. Her eyes held a sort of predatory look which made Naruto shiver as she walked circles around him. For a few seconds, he felt the inexplicable need to bolt. Then she was facing him again, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Hmmmm...maybe a blonde wig? Or extensions...yes, temporary extensions would do very nicely. And fix that dress as best as you can. I can understand why you'd rather keep on your clothes, but would you at least try to hide them? We need you to look lady-like."

She grinned, then quickly disappeared behind a closet door. Naruto bit his tongue before he asked why the helldid he need to look 'lady-like', then adjusted his breeches so that they didn't show over the lower edge of the dress and his shirt so that the extra cloth provided him with a miniature chest expansion. A few seconds later, Ino emerged with a bag filled with blonde locks and a bottle. She turned and looked over her servant with an amused glimmer in her eyes.

"Ok, now. Hold still."

Naruto clenched his teeth once again as the carriage bumped on the road. He ground the skirt in between his fingers as besides him Ino blabbered on and on about the Prince. He was still annoyed at the turn of events; being told he was to pose as Ino's personal maid for the Ceremony of Choosing, performed by the Uchiha family to celebrate their son, Uchiha Sasuke's, coming of age, was so NOT on his list of 'Things To Do Before I Die'. Or before he strangled blondie. Whichever happened first.

Of course, Naruto could've been ecstatic. He could've been jumping around with glee, feeling lucky and grateful at Ino's bringing him along, and he could've been a girl. Unfortunately, or fortunately, he was none of these. That Ino expected him to be all of these things, including the last one, was putting Naruto in a less-than-agreeable mood. The constant bumpiness of the carriage was preventing him from resting, as he was already exhausted from all the preparations. He rested his head against the side of the carriage, hoping sleep would come eventually.

He was (finally!) falling asleep as the carriage came to a stop. Ino jumped out, pulling a drowsy Naruto along with her. He nearly tripped, but managed to recover his balance before he got a face-full of mud. His eyes grew wide in astonishment.

He'd often seen, like most other people, the castle in the distance. However, nothing he'd been able to discern could have prepared him for seeing the castle up close and personal. It was huge, gigantic. It shone from the magical lights which had been placed around the structure to bring out every feature, every single spot on the building.

If you asked Naruto, it was the most appallingly horrific thing he'd ever seen.

Whoever had made the plans for this thing had obviously been high on something, and then had asked his 2 month old daughter with sight problems to review it and make corrections. Naruto's hands twitched with the effort to start running around and arranging thing. Heck, arranging things wouldn't solve much. He wanted to frickin' bring the castle down and start from zero.

Beside him, Ino sighed in wonderment as she looked up the castle.

"Isn't it lovely?"

Naruto didn't trust himself not to puke if he opened his mouth, so he didn't answer, merely looked up the castle with the same dreamy expression Ino had on her face, thought anyone with brain-reading abilities would have wondered whywas Naruto dreaming of smashing those yellow, puke-color-laced...er...cupids...dragons... (starfish??) with small things sticking out of them which surrounded the top castle turrets. Oh yes, he looked at them dreamily.

Inside the castle, however, was a completely different story. Naruto had to stifle a high, very unmanly squeal as he entered the (horrific) doors of the castle.

Everywhere he turned there was at least one orange thing decorating the walls; be it a curtain, a door, a vase, it didn't matter to Naruto, who's hands twitched with the effort to go and start polishing the objects, to bring out the sheer orange-ness.

And it wasn't just those littered shows of color either; everything in the room was somehow designed to match every single other object in the room. The chairs went appraisingly with the tables, the furniture added wonderfully to the windows behind them and even the drinks, which had been placed on a table partially hidden from view, had been made with varying ingredients -and a spell, Naruto could've bet on it- which allowed the drink to change color every few seconds. He wondered briefly if the drink changed taste as well.

"Come on, Naruto! We're supposed to mingle with the other princesses! And you, being my personal maid, have to be close!"

Naruto resisted Ino's tug on his sleeve for a moment, then allowed himself to be dragged towards a group of girls who were chatting about this and that. Naruto stayed at the edges of the group, not volunteering anything unless someone asked him a direct question, and still he said as little as possible. His eyes kept going around the room, scanning for any possible threats. He didn't really think that someone might attack the castle right now, but he was bored, and it paid to be cautious. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that a couple of the princesses were whispering in each other's ear and pointing in what they thought was a discreet manner towards him. Naruto clenched his teeth and tried to ignore them, but after a few seconds the two girls started walking towards him. He didn't really want a confrontation right now, so he quickly asked Ino for permission to go get something to drink. She nodded, then resumed talking.

Naruto quickly slipped away from the group and maneuvered through the other circles of princesses until he reached the drinks' table. As he grabbed one, he discreetly scanned the room once again, this time searching for the duo which had been going towards him before. To his despair, they were coming directly towards him, and this time escape was not an option.

He nonchalantly brought the drink up to his lips and took a taste. It wasn't anything too weird, kind of minty, and so he waited for a few moments until the liquid changed color, then he took another sip. He grimaced as a sour taste entered his mouth and nearly spilled it back out. He set it down with only a small shiver as he swallowed.

"So, who are you?"

Naruto grimaced at the snotty tone, then brought his eyes up to meet those of the girl in front of him. She had bubble-gum pink hair, and her green eyes flashed arrogantly at him. Behind her stood a girl with dark blue-black hair, her face turned down shyly.

Naruto knew immediately that he'd have to deal mainly with the pink-haired girl in front.

He had to admit she was very pretty, and Naruto would've immediately taken a liking to her had she not been so arrogant in the first place. He truly detested those kinds of people.

"My name is Narut...Naru, ma'am. I am Princess Ino's personal maid."

The girl rose an eyebrow, then her lips turned into a smirk. "Well, I guess that would be the only way that Sasuke would even spare you a glance." She eyed Naruto's chest with disdain. "Especially when you're so lacking in a certain department."

Naruto couldn't help but snarl as his temper got the best of him. "Not like you got so lucky, either."

Her grin fell right off her face as she turned cherry red. She let out a tiny, indignant squeak, then marched right off. The other girl bowed towards Naruto.

"I'm terribly sorry, Sakura-sama is always like that. Please don't take her personally. I'm really sorry."

Naruto smiled at the girl. "Don't worry...?"

"Hinata."

"Hinata, eh? That's a pretty name. Well, don't worry about it, Hinata-san. It's not your fault anyways that she's like that." He almost called Sakura a few more colorful words, but held it back as the girl smiled sweetly at him. Naruto had to fight down a tiny blush. I'm a girl! And girls don't like girls! That's called being lesbian and I'm not! I'mnotI'mnotI'mnot! After all, why would I be here in the first place if I were lesbian? Oh yeah, Ino dragged me. Which means I couldbe lesbian. But I'm not really a girl, and so I wouldn't need to be, but Hinata thinks I am so...shuddup brain, shuddupshuddup.

Thankfully no one could hear the blonde's inner monologue.

"Hinata! Get over here already!"

Sakura was suddenly right in Naruto's face.

"What the fuck are you doing talking to myservant, you whore? Get away from me, you hear me? What are you, lesbian? God you're such a bitch!" And with that, she grabbed Hinata's hands in a hurtful grip and dragged her away, Hinata sending Naruto a glance back, saying she was sorry for Sakura's behavior.

Naruto just stood stock still, letting his brain wrap around everything that the girl had just said. As the individual words registered in his brain, he felt incredible anger rise up inside. He narrowed his gaze onto the princess, who had joined another group and was now talking with them, her face settling into the smug, arrogant expression she'd had since the start. Naruto felt his hands start to burn and itch as his anger rose and rose. How he wished that something would happen right now to embarrass that bitch in front of those other girls!

His eyes strayed to the dress. It was very tight on Sakura's slim figure, and the tiny catch in the back seemed way too fragile to hold on the whole ensemble. Naruto's fingers itched to undo the clasp and watch as the dress fell off the girl in front of all these people.

'You just had to ask.'

Naruto gasped as a familiar voice ran through his head. A voice he hadn't hear for a long while. His right index finger twitched.

Suddenly, the tiny metal piece flew off the edge of the ties holding on the outfit, and the whole thing slid off. For a second, there was complete silence in the room. Someone giggled. Soon the whole room was filled with suppressed laughter; some even guffawed outwardly.

Sakura had turned beet-red as she tried to lift the clothing back up, but all the parts of the dress had somehow gotten entangled and she couldn't even figure out how to put it on again.

Then, without warning, she whipped her face to glare at Naruto, who had a tiny victory smile on his lips. She whipped past all the other guests and in less than a second she was right up to Naruto's face.

"What the fuck is your problem! Are you a lesbian or what? Did you want that badly to see me in underwear, you pervert!"

Naruto's abated anger returned as Sakura with her 'dress' stalked to one of the upper cubicles to change. With her back to Naruto, he could see the clasp of her bra. Again?

His right index finger twitched again.

A high pitched scream followed Naruto as he exited the castle through one of the side doors, not really wanting to have to resort to physical violence.

First chappy done! Yippeee!!!

Whoever can tell me what the original quote is, from the start of the chapter, gets a COOKIE!!! No, not really, but I'll dedicate the next chapter to you!

- G