Disclaimer : One Piece belongs to Oda Eiichirō.
Rating : K

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Double Entendre

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A pod of dolphins passed the Sunny on the starboard side. Gol Cay should appear on the horizon soon thanks to Bonney putting wind in the sails.

'Here.'

Sanji joined Zoro and Bonney on the deck for lunch.

'This smells delicious!' the captain sniffed audibly. 'What is it?'

'Pepper steak with shallots and rum sauce.'

'Years of clams and fish and squid…' The captain sobbed, wiping away tears of joy. 'How thoughtful of you, wif—'

The sole of Sanji's shoe imprinted itself on his face.

'Shut up and eat!'

Zoro mulled Elaine's words over while he ate. They were all he had to go on since Sanji still hadn't talked to him. For some reason the cook was acting like nothing had happened. Zoro didn't know what to make of it. If Sanji wasn't interested then he could just say so and be done with it. Sure, that would be disappointing – very, very disappointing and maybe even painful – but Zoro could handle it. So why say nothing?

If Elaine was right though and Sanji was at the very least attracted to him, then this silence meant something else. Maybe he was trying to work things out. Zoro wasn't going to ask though. The next move was up to Sanji. He'd done his bit.

After the meal they went into the kitchen to do the dishes while Bonney returned to the sails.

When Zoro opened the door to leave, Sanji reached past him and pushed it shut again. He turned around.

Sanji wasn't looking at him. His head was bowed, blond bangs falling over his eyes. A few silent moments passed, then he stepped back, pulling back his arm. It seemed like a gesture of resignation, though to what he was resigning himself to Zoro couldn't guess.

'Dead men don't want anything.'

That was one hell of an opener. Zoro crossed his arms and leaned back against the door. Whatever Sanji was starting here, they were not leaving the kitchen until it was finished.

'You're not-' Sanji interrupted himself. 'You don't want anything. You don't-' He rolled his eyes, annoyed he'd just cut himself off a second time.

'Conversations are hard.'

Maybe this wasn't the best time to tease him. Oh, who was he kidding? It was always a good time to tease Sanji.

'All you do is train and fight.'

'Don't forget drink and sleep.' Zoro reminded him. 'Didn't know you were paying that much attention, cook.'

Sanji grunted in frustration. 'You're asking for it.'

'You dishing out?'

No amount of anger was a match for that pun. Sanji stared at Zoro, then facepalmed with an snort.

'All of a sudden you want me to?' he asked, dropping his hand. He'd taken it as a joke, because that was less scary than taking it seriously. But Zoro wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. Particularly since this exchange might lead to an outcome he really, really wanted.

'What about your ambition then?' Sanji spluttered when it became clear this was no laughing matter.

'What about it?' Zoro shrugged. 'I don't see how this gets in the way of that.'

Sanji looked at him as if everything he knew about Zoro had been turned upside down and he had to start again from scratch. So he fell back on the words Zoro had spoken to him when they'd first met.

'You said you discarded your life a long time ago, when you decided to become the strongest swordsman.'

Zoro sighed. 'I did, but I think you got the wrong idea, cook.' Not just him, he bet. The rest of the crew probably thought the same. He wasn't responsible for their misgivings, but he hadn't particularly tried to correct them either. Time to change that. 'I discarded my life yeah, in the sense that I'd die before giving up my ambition. That doesn't mean I made myself dead to everything. I get why you'd be under that impression…'

'You didn't look at the girls in the hot baths.'

'….but I was never interested in anyone until-'

Now it was Zoro's turn to cut himself off.

'Until?' Sanji prompted. He'd really rather not finish that sentence, but if this was going to go anywhere with the cook, then he had to admit it was Robin giving Sanji a good pawing over that…ahem…led to at least one body part reminding him he was far from dead. Things had gone downhill, well, down the mast, pretty fast after that.

Still a possibility Sanji would reject him, but the peach blush on his nose and cheeks when Zoro got to the pawing part was promising.

"Land ho!" the captain rapped his knuckles on the door. So much for not leaving the kitchen. Sanji, still a bit wide-eyed, looked at the porthole, then back at Zoro.

'We'd better…' He gestured at the door.

'Yeah.'

Zoro followed him out. A break from the conversation wasn't such a bad thing. It was a bit much to take in, the revelation that Zoro was not only capable of liking someone, but that that someone was him. Sanji needed some time to wrap his head around that. Until then, Zoro was quite satisfied thinking of ways in which he was going to transmute peach to strawberry, or maybe even cherry.

Night was falling. In the distance the beam of Gol Cay's lighthouse beckoned ships safely to port. They opted to go to the islet with the maze first. That's where the dotted line led to, made sense to start there. What better place to hide kidnapped people than a maze?

They anchored the Thousand Sunny off the islet's east coast. Neither of them were comfortable leaving the ship unguarded but they simply didn't have the numbers to leave someone on watch. Imagine though if someone stole the Sunny after they got the crew back. That would be a cruel twist of fate.

'This island's really small,' Zoro observed as they approached the shore. He sat in the front seat of the Mini Merry with Sanji while Bonney sat in the back.

'Not even four square kilometers.'

'I imagine nobody lives here.'

'Plana had a cottage on Gol Cay. She ferried to the maze every day, to trim the hedges.'

'You think she's still doing that?' Sanji asked.

'It's been a long time, but it's possible.'

They towed the Mini Merry across a beach, out of the tide's reach. No telling when they'd be back.

Bonney directed them to the entrance of the maze, less than a kilometer land inwards. The outer hedges undulated and curved gracefully. A silver gate with stylized branches and leaves stood ajar. An invitation?

In the distance the crown of a massive white tree rose above the labyrinth.

'These hedges are in good shape,' Sanji noted. 'Someone's been taking care of them.'

Bonney paled a little. 'I pray it's not Plana. But just in case, don't disturb the shrubbery.'

Zoro walked through the gate, drawing Shūsui and Wadō. 'Nigiri.'

Bonney eyed him with alarm. 'What are you doing?'

'Cutting my way through.'

'What? No, if Plana sees this she'll have a fit!'

'Trust me, it's better this way. A maze is probably the only thing that can defeat this guy.'

'Oi.'

Zoro gritted his teeth. Why the hell was Sanji snickering suddenly affecting him this way? He hadn't signed up for this mellorine crap.

Except he kind of had.

Zoro held the blades parallel, pointing to the left.

'Dragon Roll!'

He sliced through the hedges.

Sanji tilted his head. 'Dragon Roll?'

'Let it go.'

Zoro mowed through the maze, creating a shortcut that led straight to the tree. He could simply tear through the hedges with air projectiles but Bonney had mentioned there were statues here. No need for careless damage.

The captain hadn't exaggerated. Soon they saw the first marble statues, so realistic it seemed as if they could come alive any moment. They'd have quite a fight on their hands if some of them did. At one point Zoro saw a large winged salamander, curled up with two tails that ended in spikey clubs.

Not long after Bonney announced he saw something up ahead. He and Sanji emerged on either side of Zoro. Statues dotted a vast open space with a massive marble oak at the center. A group still had sheets hanging over them, ranging in height from a very tall one to a very short one. Zoro did a quick count. Seven.

Damn. He strode over to them and pulled the sheet off one that could only be-

'Luffy!'

'Someone you know?' Bonney asked.

'He's our captain.'

Zoro revealed Franky and Usopp.

'And these are our crewmates.'

'Nami-san! Robin-chwan!' Sanji popped heart-eyes, a sheet in each hand.

Bonney gawked when Brook was unveiled.

'You have a skeleton on your crew?!'

The sheet flew off Chopper.

'And a reindeer?!'

Shame their doctor wasn't around to hear this, he'd be delighted someone actually got his species right, first try.

'I don't get it,' Sanji scratched his head. 'Why would someone kidnap the crew and then make statues of them? I mean, Robin-chan and Nami-chan I can understand but why these ugly bastards?'

'No arguing with taste, is there?'

A woman in gardener's overalls stepped from behind the tree. Thick black curls bounced around her shoulders as she walked over to them. She held a pair of large hedge clippers.

'What a lovely lady!' Sanji crowed. She smiled at him before greeting Bonney.

'Hello, Tom.'

'Plana.' He raised an awkward hand in greeting. 'Good to see you again.'

'It is? Didn't think I'd see you again after your getaway. Now you're back and the hedges are ruined again.'

Bonney rubbed the back of his head apologetically. 'Sorry about that.'

Suddenly Zoro remembered where he'd heard the name before. Plana Cene, the gardener who'd threatened Bonney. She wasn't upset now though, even though Zoro must have done as much damage as Bonney had.

'You're being rude.' Plana gestured at Sanji and Zoro. 'Introduce us.'

Bonney obliged and told her why they were here. He'd just finished asking her if she knew why there were statues of the Straw Hats in the maze when Sanji spoke up.

'It's not possible. There's no way someone could kidnap the crew, come back here and carve statues of them in the time that we were separated.' He took a hand of the Robin statue in his. 'The polishing alone takes-'

He let go as if he'd been stung.

'What is it?' Zoro asked. Sanji reached out again. He drew in a sharp breath.

'There's a pulse!'

'What?!' Zoro pressed the palm of his hand against the chest of the Luffy statue. A steady tha-dump sent a chill down his spine.

Bonney knelt in front of Chopper's statue. 'This little guy has a heartbeat.'

'These aren't statues of the crew.' Zoro stared at the marble face of his captain. 'They are the crew!'

Bonney got to his feet. 'That means these are all real people? Real animals?' He swallowed thickly. 'That's monstrous.'

Zoro glanced sharply at Plana. No reaction to their discovery. That could only mean that she knew about it. Bonney reached the same conclusion.

'Plana, what's the meaning of this?' he asked. 'How did everyone here turn into marble?'

If she was in on whatever was going on here, she sure didn't act like it. She calmly gestured at the oak. 'Evergrey.'

Zoro expected someone else to emerge from behind it, a well-timed villainous entrance! But nobody appeared. And nobody would. He suddenly realized who, or rather what, she was talking about.

'The tree? It's turning people to marble?'

'Not intentionally. It's been badly injured. The wound is leaking a miasma into the labyrinth. You can't see it but the whole place is permeated with it. Everyone who spends too much time here turns to marble. The closer you are to Evergrey, the faster it happens. Don't worry,' she added when they checked themselves for signs of marbleization. 'You've still got about twenty minutes, provided you don't get closer.' She nudged her head towards the hedges behind them. 'I suggest you leave. You've got a direct way out.'

'Unlike other people who got lost in here,' Sanji said. 'Which is the whole point of this maze, isn't it, Plana-chan?' he asked gently. 'To trap people long enough for them to turn to marble.'

'Sorry, but we're not going anywhere without our crew,' Zoro cut in. 'So why don't you tell us what's going on. Why are people being turned to marble here?'

Plana still didn't seem hostile or fearful, even so Zoro kept a wary eye on the clippers. He'd seen people fight with crazier weapons.

'To sell them.'

'Sell them?' Bonney was aghast. 'Who would do such a thing?'

Plana touched her right arm. 'Do you remember when we first met, when I told you I'd just discovered the maze. A few days after you…left, I reached the center. She was there. Cerris.' Plana's jaw clenched around the name, the first sign of emotion. 'The captain of the Gull pirates. She told me about her operation. Her crew kidnap people they think would make good statues. Animals too. They bring them here and let Evergrey do its job. Then they sell them.'

'But how does she capture people in the first place?' Zoro asked. 'Our crewmates, there was no sign of a struggle.'

'There wouldn't be if she caught them by surprise. She's good at that.' Plana touched her arm again. 'She has stingers that inject people with a venom so they can't move.'

Can't move? That sounded like a possible explanation. And though she hadn't meant to issue one, it also sounded like a challenge to Zoro, one he was happy to accept.

'She was going to kill me, but I convinced her I could be useful to her. I could take care of the maze for her.'

A gardener would be just what was needed.

'I planned to escape soon as she left but when I went home…' Plana turned her head at the statue of a man. It stood close to the tree, the only one to be chained to the ground. 'That's David. My husband. She took him. A friend tried to protect us but she got her too.' Plana's face twisted in sudden grief. 'If I try to leave, if I tell anyone about Evergrey, she'll destroy them.'

Yeah, Zoro was really looking forward to this Cerris showing up.

'Don't worry.' Bonney gave Plana's shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. 'We're here now. We'll stop her.'

'Leave it to us,' Sanji said off-handedly, as if it was a given. Which it was. Zoro's seen that confidence reach people, pull them back from the brink of despair. Plana looked from Bonney's reassuring smile to Sanji.

'Plana-chan.' Sanji scrutinized the tree. 'This miasma is caused by Evergrey's wound. If it was healed, that should stop the spread, right? Would people turn back to normal?'

'They would,' she confirmed. 'Cerris told me, if they're no longer exposed to the miasma they start to turn back to normal after a few days.'

'Including the people she sold.'

'Yes. By the time her customers realize they've been had it's too late.'

'That's some scam she's got going on.'

'And she forced me to be part of it. She said if I served her for five years she'd release David. Fluffy too.'

'Fluffy? That your friend?' Bonney asked.

Plana's eyes suddenly widened. A fraction of a second later Sandai Kitetsu flashed. Sanji spun around and kicked. The two needles heading for their backs fell to the ground. A quick look confirmed Bonney had taken care of the other two aimed at himself and Plana.

A tall, muscular woman with brown hair in short tresses faced them. From her back emanated four large stingers. They looked like the tail of a scorpion. Two pistols hung from a wide leather belt.

'Cerris!'

Zoro was pleased to see anger coloring Plana's cheeks, not fear paling them. Good, the fire hadn't gone out completely.

'Now now, Plana.' Cerris' voice was smooth, silk draped over a blade. 'Can't have you spilling the beans like that.'

She appraised the three men openly, as if she could already see them as statues.

'Nice of you to bring such delectable company though. Especially you.' She looked Bonney up and down. 'Mmm. You I may keep for myself.'

Bonney spread his arms in a courtesy. His eyes stayed on Cerris.

'How can I refuse a lady's demands?' He smiled. 'You want me, you got me.'

Zoro started. He and Sanji both looked from where the captain had just stood to where he was now, right in front of Cerris.

He held one of the darts. 'I understand this paralyzes people. Must be very uncomfortable.'

'How did you…' Plana stared at him, mouth agape. She approached Cerris, keeping a wary eye on the immobile stingers. 'Did you just get her with one of her own needles?'

'Taste of her own poison,' Bonney grinned cheerfully. Zoro wasn't quite so happy. Cerris wouldn't have been the only one caught off guard. Once this mess was over he'd ask Bonney to spar with him. He had to train to match that speed.

'You took her out just like that.' Plana pursed her lips. 'Bit anticlimactic.'

'That's what you get with such a difference in power,' Zoro said without a hint of arrogance.

'Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.' Plana's smile turned into a satisfied grin. She had the pirate who'd terrorized her for years at her mercy. 'I'll be taking these back now, Cerris.' She took the belt with the guns and put it around her own waist. 'Ah…It's good to have my girls back.'

She twirled the revolvers around her fingers like she'd done it a thousand times, bringing one up to Cerris' head in a single smooth roll. Bonney took a careful step back.

'Monsters make fine statues too, don't you think? But as much as I want to see you turn to marble, I don't want these people to suffer a moment longer. I don't want Evergrey to suffer a moment longer.'

'Plana…' Bonney started.

'She never let the wound heal,' Plana bit out. 'Stuck it full of poisonous needles for years so Evergrey kept suffering and turning people to marble. All these lives ruined just so she could get rich!'

She dug the barrel deeper into Cerris' forehead. She was a hair's breadth away from shooting her.

'As a pirate she must have a bounty on her head.'

The trigger finger halted at the sound of Zoro's voice. Once someone was this enraged, no talk of how they didn't really want to do this or it wasn't like them would calm them down. Only an alternative that sated the thirst for revenge as much as killing would work. So Zoro spoke up before these two pervert idiots had to be traumatized by the sight of a woman shooting another woman to death.

'Dead or alive, it's up to you, but if you turn her in alive she'll be tried by the Marines. That means Impel Down. She'll be locked up for the rest of her life.'

That was the closest Plana could get to revenge for what happened, aside from killing her. But would she accept it?

She stood there, as unmoving as Cerris. It was touch and go. But then she lowered the gun. Zoro wondered if Bonney would have been able to stop the bullet with his powers. Wouldn't be the first time he'd seen beyond the impossible stuff pulled off in the Grand Line.

'When the marines lock you up and you're rotting in prison, remember who put you in there. Remember me well.' Plana toppled Cerris with a shove.

'Nice work, moss head.'

It certainly wasn't the first keen smile of approval Sanji had sent Zoro's way, but this time there was a warmth to it that crept right up Zoro's neck to his cheeks. Worse, he felt his own mouth twitch in return.

'I'd say we've got about ten minutes before we start to turn,' Plana announced the horror of things to come without batting an eye. 'We have to get those darts out of Evergrey and get out of here. We'll have to come back for the statues later, once we've been away from the miasma long enough for the effects to wear off.'

They hurried over to the tree, Bonney tucking a paralyzed Cerris under his arm.

The wound was at eye height. A large gash tore across the trunk, stuffed to the brim with poison needles.

'Allow me.'

Bonney put Cerris down. He positioned himself in front of the wound.

'This'll take but a moment.'

He wasn't kidding. They watched in awe as he pulled the darts out at such speed his movements blurred. Before they knew it a pile of them lay at their feet.

'Tom, that's amazing!' Plana beamed. 'Now it can start healing.'

'Actually, you may be able to help with that too,' Sanji said pensively. He looked at Bonney. 'You can speed up the pace of anything, right? Like say, the speed at which a wound heals?'

The captain grinned slowly. 'Clever lad.'

'I don't know what you're going to do but don't touch Evergrey,' Plana warned. 'You'll turn to marble right away.'

'Not to worry, I won't come too close.' Bonney sidled up to Sanji. 'But if I do turn to marble, I'm sure a kiss from my true love can turn me back to no-'

Sanji landed a perfect high kick that sent the captain flying towards the tree.

'Shut up and fix it!'

Zoro sliced through the chains around the statue of Plana's husband while Bonney worked his magic with makeshift leaf plugs stuffed in each bloody nostril.

He dusted off his hands when it was done. 'All taken care of.'

'Ye gods, Tom,' Plana gasped. 'You're paralyzed from the waist down!'

The captain confirmed the diagnosis with a shriek.

'Help me!' Bonney twisted round and held out his arms towards Sanji. Sanji turned to Cerris, but she was already being carried out by Zoro who had his other arm around the David statue and a smirk on his face. He heard some vile cursing and what sounded like a warning for Bonney to keep his hands to himself.

Halfway through the night they returned to the tree. Since Bonney was still marbled below the knee they left him outside the maze to guard Cerris and the statues they retrieved. They were on their last Straw Hat run, bringing back Usopp, Luffy and Chopper when a thunderous roar erupted over the maze.

'Ah,' Zoro said.

'What do you mean, ah?' Plana asked.

They looked up in unison. Up into the sky rose the salamander with two tails. It saw them and started drooling.

'Forgot about that.'

'Fluffy!' Plana beamed a huge, happy smile at the winged menace. 'Come here you!'

'Your pet?' Sanji asked.

'My friend,' she corrected.

Fluffy soared towards them, salivating jaws opening wide. So many teeth.

'You sure?'

'That's my Fluffy! Should have known she'd so quickly!'

'Plana-chan…' Sanji began uncertainly. They ducked as the salamander flew over them and rather than swallow them whole, swooped Plana up - with their doctor still in her arms.

'Chopper!' Sanji and Zoro yelled.

'Don't worry, I won't drop him,' Plana shouted from the starlit sky. 'Fluffy just needs to spread her wings! We'll be back soon!'

The salamander flew towards the crescent moon, bouncing cheerfully and fluttering as if it was a butterfly. Zoro hoped Plana had a strong stomach. And a strong grip.

They couldn't do anything for their doctor right now, nothing for it but to get out of the maze through the shortcut. They were halfway out when Zoro looked back over his shoulder. Sanji had slowed down.

'Something wrong?'

Sanji didn't reply. He caught up with Zoro, narrowly missed bumping the head of the Luffy statue into the Usopp one. He gestured at Zoro to put their crewmates to the side to spare Chopper from having to fix broken skulls.

Zoro's heart hit a high when he realized they were picking up where they'd left off in the galley. Okay, they weren't exactly alone, but Luffy and Usopp weren't conscious.

Zoro behaved the same way towards everyone, but a woman was treated to a very different Sanji than a man was. Women got the lovey-lovey chivalrous pervert revering them like goddesses. Men got the trash-talking cook who'd just as soon throw them overboard like fourth-rate-dessert.

Neither stood before him. Zoro discovered to his delight that he got a Sanji exclusive to him. Not a let's-make-kissy faces, but the teasing curve of a smile. Not hearts, but lust and rough affection electrifying the blue of his eyes. Not falling over himself fawning, but the heady touch of a hand, brushing past Zoro's earrings to cradle the back of his head.

On the Lady Glaive Zoro had kissed Sanji pretty much the same way he fought, charge in without preamble. For some reason he expected the cook to do the same.

What he hadn't expected was a feather-light touch, softly teasing before Sanji pressed his mouth to Zoro's. He drew Zoro's top lip between his own.

Zoro hadn't even realized his hands were on Sanji's hips. His eyes drifted shut. Sanji tilted his head to better fit their mouths together and all he could think of was how good this felt. A quick touch against his tongue, tag, now you're it. Zoro followed it back. Hands slid down Sanji's rumpled shirt and pulled that lithe body against his.

Sanji groaned into his mouth, the kiss deepened…

'…gry.'

Both pirates flinched. They stared at each other, then at the statue of their captain. Incredibly, it looked like saliva had dissolved the marble, freeing enough of Luffy's mouth to let him speak.

'Did he just drool his way through solid marble?'

'Even as a statue he's thinking about food.'

'…nji…ngry…'

'You know, he hasn't eaten in days. He's going to be starving. I may need some help in the kitchen.'

'Oh, so you want a kitchen-boy? All right. On one condition.' Zoro's smile ghosted against Sanji's lips. 'I get to fool around with the chef.'

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