TITLE: Silence for the Lamb

AUTHOR: Alyssa C

CATEGORY: I have no idea.

PAIRINGS: None.

SPOILERS: None again.

RATING: K

WARNINGS: Content madness.

STATUS: Complete

FEEDBACK: Please!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Barney, Teletubbies, Kim Possible or the authors mentioned. I do however own a lamb.

AN: This is purely for fun, and I want to say right now that I do not mean any offence to the authors implied. They are not horrible people; I'm the terrible one because this poem would NOT leave me alone. This was written in reference to a forum conversation in the Kim Possible section. The Fannie Awards (like Kim Possible Fan Fiction Oscars) are being organized and people are planning their dates. I'm a part time Sheppard by profession and the award ceremony would be in my peak lambing period. If this year is anything like last year, I'll have a flock of tame lambs at my disposal and jokingly told the organizers of the event that I might bring one along. What followed were the obvious remarks of lambs being eaten with various seasonings. I do not eat lamb. I'm a vegetarian. I had jokingly warned my fellows that if anybody mentioned anything about Mint Sauce and Lamb Roast they would be send to teletubbie land. Needless to say. They did.

&&&

Silence for the Lamb

Over the hills in a land far away,
Two authors awoke, completely astray.
They blinked at each other, and blinked at the land.
And blinked even more when they saw a cute lamb.

A woman approached, her hair in a braid,
And smiled to them saying: "You should be afraid."
Mystified and boggled, they stared at each other,
Then motioned to the lamb and said:
"Do we know one another?"

The woman sniffed and called to the lamb,
Then picked it up when it came to her hand.
"My name is Alyssa, and you pushed me too far,
By making fun of my lamb, so I've raised the bar,
a day in my mind you'll have to stay,
And with some Teletubbies you're gonna play."

They looked at each other and pushed themselves up.
One held out his hand and said: "I'm Captain, What's up?"
"I'm Mike," said the other. "And this is too weird.
Why should we be afraid? She's all alone here."
Alyssa merely smiled and pulled up a chair.
The little lamb, excited, bound up with flair!

She pushed up her glasses and opened a book,
Her one hand lightly resting on a shepparding crook.
"Just wait and see," she said with a smile.
"Then sun should be up, in just a little while."
She patted the lamb and gave it a mint,
Her greenish eyes shining with an evil glint.

The two shook their heads and laughed out loud.
"This is ridiculous," Mike said. "And that's not allowed!
A lamb should be seasoned with mint and jelly.
Certainly not treated as if it's in front of the Telly."
The lamb looked affronted and let out a "baa".
Though Mike didn't hear, his attention afar.

The first rays of the sun, touched the land of green.
And then, out of the blue, an intercom could be seen:
"Time for Teletubbies!" It announced to the audience.
"Time for Teletubbies!" Alyssa covered her ears, experienced.
The two authors, undeterred, stood up tall and proud.
They didn't think it was scary, just a little loud.

And then the earth shook, and the sun giggled warm,
Four faces appeared, their costumes a little worn.
For out they jumped, with Tinky-Winky in front.
And Dipsy to follow, his antenna quite blunt.
Then Laa-Laa and Po, their little faces grim.
As they dragged out dear Barney, by his tail so slim.

With the five now assembled, they let out a cheer,
Barney pointing first: "Our friends are here!"
They charged up the hill, to where the authors stood still,
Mike leaned over to Captain and said: "Are we ready for the kill?"
They charged down to meet them, their battle cries loud.
And didn't think for once they were outnumbered by the crowd.

The carnage was brutal, even Alyssa did flinch,
For Barney grabbed Captain in a cuddly pinch.
The dinosaur lifted the man from the ground,
And gave him a hug saying: "Oh I'm so proud!"
Mike fared no better, paralyzed by song,
And oh did they scream when it became a sing-a-long!

Bless the dear boys, they tried to fight back,
But the children's brigade was not done with their attack.
They danced and they pranced and they tossed them about,
Until they were yelling: "Please let us out!"
They shouted and kicked and pulled out their hair,
But when they looked at Alyssa she said: "I don't care."

So they rallied their forces, to make a last stand,
And tried to run away from the little singing band.
"We should've brought weapons!" Mike yelled out in fear.
Captain replied simply: "I wish Kim Possible was here!"
They looked round for back up, but no one was at hand.
Except of course, for Alyssa, and her little cute lamb.

The battle raged on all through the day,
until even the Teletubbies were tired of play.
Then finally, exhausted the authors fell at her feet.
Alyssa looked up from her book and smiled, oh so sweet.
She shoed off the sheep and held out her hand,
Then said quite politely: "Are you going to be nice to my lamb?"

FIN