Chapter Three: Homesick

For awhile I stayed quiet in my mother's arms, and she did not press me to speak the way anyone else would have. My silence did not bother her as it would the rest of my family, with the exception of Grandpa Charlie. Jake would have started hyperventilating after the five minute mark, I thought, amused before I remembered he was the reason I was curled up practically in my mother's lap, feeling worse than I had in a long time. I sighed and felt my mother's arms squeeze me in a brief hug.

"Momma?" I said finally.

"Yes?"

"Do you ever miss Forks?"

She thought for a moment.

"You know, surprisingly, yes. Yes I do."

I sat up and looked at her.

"What do you miss about it?"

"Well, I miss your Grandfather of course. I miss the wolves. I miss Angela and Ben." she sounded a little wistful mentioning the last two. I knew it was because they were the only people who weren't creatures of myth that had truly cared about her.

"I miss the mansion. I miss our cottage. I miss the woods. And I miss Forks itself. It's where all this started. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world." She smiled gently, her eyes far away, remembering.

After a moment, she looked at me. "Are you homesick Nessie?" she asked, concerned.

I was. I had lived in New Hampshire for two years now and still felt the strangeness of it. The only thing that made it bearable at all was my family, and I didn't even have all of them. There were people, loved ones, I had had to leave behind. Having Jake around eased my homesickness even more, but he hadn't come around and it was starting to creep in on me.

"I miss Grandpa too. And my old room. And riding your old motorcycle to La Push. And Quil, Embry and Seth. I even miss Leah. She was just starting to warm up to me. And I miss cliff diving and---" my eyes were starting to prick and I blinked furiously. "And I miss Jake..."

"Oh Nessie..." my mother breathed, gently stroking my hair. "What happened with you and Jake? We could all tell something was wrong when he actually slept at his apartment for three consecutive days. Did you two have a fight?"

"No, because I could understand him not coming around. It would make sense.And since when has anything in my life made sense?"

My mother was confused. Her tawny eyes were clouded with it. "You didn't fight with him?"

I sighed again, this time in frustration. How could I make her understand what was going on when I myself couldn't make heads or tails of it? Well...if I was being really honest in order for her to understand anything I would have to explain about the hunting trips. Crap...

I took a deep breath, and began.

"Jake and I were hunting and I---"

I told the whole story, omitting nothing. This was my mother. The one person in the world who had the ability to keep my secrets and thoughts to herself.

By the time I was finished I wanted to cry again. I must have done something awful to hurt Jake and that's why he's been avoiding me. He was trying to spare me.

When I voiced that thought to my mother she hissed angrily.

"Jake's an idiot." she snapped. Temper flared in her eyes and I shrank back slightly. I wasn't afraid of her, despite having a pulse, it wasn't like I had to worry about becoming lunch or a Vampire punching dummy. I was however, worried about the state of my room. I wasn't sure it could take much more vampire temper.

My mother instantly relaxed when she felt me shift. Even after knowing all I did about my mother, her control always astounded me. Her compassion and desire to not hurt anyone were legendary in my family.

"Sorry," she said, somewhat sheepishly, looking for a moment like an awkward (although beautifully so) eighteen year old girl.

"It's fine Momma," I said, hugging her. "Jake is an idiot. But I still don't understand what's wrong with me."

"Listen to me Renesmee," she said fiercely, "you did nothing wrong. Nothing. You did not hurt Jake he's just...overreacting."

Now it was my turn to be confused.

"To what?"

I watched the expression on my mother's face. It looked twisted somehow. As if she were debating telling me something.

"What is it Mom?" I asked wearily.

She sighed and looked at me.

"Jake's just starting to notice how beautiful you are. He's not sure how to handle that."

Say what?

My mother noticed the look of skepticism on my face and sighed.

"When will you ever see yourself clearly Nessie?"

"I've looked the same for four years now Mom, I'm not ever going to look any different. If he didn't notice me four years ago he's not about to start noticing me now." I hated how bitter my voice sounded and hoped my mother didn't notice.

My mother's topaz eyes narrowed dangerously before she shook her head.

"Nessie, just...trust me on this."

My mother had never been a very good liar.

"Things were so much less complicated in Forks." I groaned.

"For you maybe," my mother said wryly.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"I want to go home."

She knew what I meant.

"We're almost out for the summer, can you wait?"

I nodded and she hugged me.

"I've been wanting to go home too. Your grandfather has been bugging the hell out of me. He misses you."

"I miss him too. Has he been taking good care of my motorcycle?"

"Actually Nessie, I think he pawned the bike on Quil. He can't help worrying about you or me, even though he knows we aren't breakable."

A rush of warmth and affection for my grandfather came over me, and I laughed for the first time in three days.

My mother laughed with me.

She gave me a gentle hug and shifted me off her lap.

"Come on Renessmee, you need to eat."

"I'm fine." I really wasn't. I hadn't eaten in three days.

The expression on my mother's face turned mulish. Uh oh.....

"You go find yourself a deer or something or I swear I will order a pizza and make you eat it."

"Fine," I grumbled, annoyed. She had to pull the human food card. She knew I hated it.

Yeesh....vampires....

I loved my family. But the wolves were a little easier to deal with sometimes.

At least I'd be home soon, which meant I'd see Quil and Embry and Seth, and my grandfather and Angela and Ben and maybe I could sort out whatever weirdness I had going on with Jake that had him avoiding me.

I couldn't wait....

TBC

A/n: so???? yes I know its another filler. I'm sorry for the delay in updating, life has just been throwing me a lot of curve balls and I ve been extremely tired. Plus I have quite a few other fanfics to work on :) I have a vague idea of where this story is going so I hope you all enjoy!

with love

Rom