Chapter One: Doubt

A/N: I don't own them. Oh do I wish...but alas I must make do with fanfiction. My first Jake and Ness fic put up for your entertainment. ^__^

Ever since I could remember, I'd always had people telling me how beautiful I was. How special. How talented. How unique. How insert-adjective-here. I'd never had cause to believe otherwise.

And why should I?

My Mother, who in my not so humble opinion was the most beautiful being in all of creation, thought I hung the moon. And if that weren't enough my Father, who was beyond wonderful, worshipped the ground I walked on. Anyone would envy the fact that I had the world's most perfect parents; however, I didn't just have the world's most perfect parents, I had a whole perfect family:

Grandma Esme and Grampa Carlisle, who got huge enjoyment out of being called grandparents were beautiful of spirit as well as body. I could sit for hours with Grampa Charlie, his quiet pressence relaxed me, and I found him incredibly interesting. My breathtaking Aunt Rose was one of my favorite people in existence and she happened to spoil me rotten. Uncle Emmett gave the best hugs and he was incredibly generous with them. Not to mention the fact that he had the best sense of humor, even though it made my mother cringe with how crude it got. Uncle Jasper was sometimes stand offish with me but I knew it was mostly do to the fact that he loved me enough to not be around so my heart beat could hurt him. But even so, he was always there with his soothing gift the moment I needed it. Aunt Alice was my partner in crime, letting me know when my parents would catch me sneaking out to experience the college town night life with Jacob, just like she used to do in Forks whenever I'd sneak down to La Push to hang out with Embry, Quil and Jake.

Jacob...

I remember the exact moment I experienced doubt at my so-called specialness for the first time. We were out hunting, just Jake and I alone for the first time it what seemed like months which was getting annoyingly rare. (Thank goodness Mom and Dad decided to enroll full time at Dartmouth. It meant they couldn't come with us as much as they wanted, which displeased Daddy immensely and Aunt Rose too for that matter though I couldn't understand why.)

I giggled at the near identical sour expressions of Daddy and Aunt Rose whenever I announced I was hunting with Jake, or going for a walk with Jake, or playing video games with Jake, or do anything at all that involved Jake. Especially as I got older. Mom and Aunt Alice seemed to find it amusing as well. My giggling grew. I couldn't help it. Remembering the worry behind their scowls was a source of great amusement to me. Why would anyone need to worry about me at all? It wasn't as if it were easy to harm me. I was part vampire, and had a werewolf for a best friend.

My giggling drew a curious glance from Jacob.

"What are you laughing at Nessie?" It was the same as any other time: the affectionate use of my nickname in the husky voice I knew as well as my own. But unlike any other time a sudden awareness tingled through me, settling in the pit of my stomach and my body roused to Jacob's pressence in such a way that I felt heat suffuse my face and I froze, stunned. I'd always been aware of Jacob but this...this was different.

Jake was five feet away from me before he realized I was no longer beside him.

"Ness?" Confusion laced his voice now and the sound of it caused the tingling to become a burning. It was as though a volcanic eruption had occured inside me, one that had been building slowly and inevitably. I gasped softly, stunned. I didn't answer him right away. Shock at the way my body was reacting had silenced me.

In a movement to fast for the human eye to detect Jacob was at my side.

"Nessie? What's wrong?" I heard the first stirrings of panic setting his voice on edge and I tried to see myself through as I looked at the moment through his eyes:My face flushed. My eyes bright and unfocused as I turned inward in an effort to understand what was happening to me. My body rigid. No wonder Jake was panicking.

Still tingling, I turned towards him, smoothing my face into an impassive mask as I did so. I hoped as least some of the heat had left my face. I even managed to snort derisively for good measure.

"Nothing's wrong, Fido" I snapped impatiently, using Aunt Rose's favorite nickname for him. "I just thought I heard lunch nearby," I finished with the first lie that came into my head. I flinched. Lame excuse...

Relief spread across his face the same instant his megawatt grin did and he laughed. For some reason, he loved it when I called him Fido, probably because he could tell I didn't mean it in the same derogatory way Aunt Rose did.

His grin went from amused to teasing, pulling up into a sexy little smirk that-----

Whoa, putting the breaks on that train now. I would never be able to convincingly explain the blush that was sure to come if I let it form into a fully coherant thought.

"So Nessie," Jake said casually as we continued our hunt, "you thought you heard lunch?"

My eyes narrowed dangerously. It was real bright of him to bait the vampire. Well okay so I'm half vampire but still. He was treading on thin ice. Again.

"It was a mistake," I grumbled, my ire growing.

"Sure Ness," he said, rolling his eyes. "Maybe you just don't want to admit you're losing your touch. That maybe the wolves have the advantage on hunting. Imagine having to explain that to your parents and Aunt Psycho."

He was baiting me. On purpose. He was the only person in the world who knew how to push my buttons and actually do so. Well aside from Uncle Emmett, who just pushed everyone's buttons because it was his chief pleasure in life.

I snarled a warning at Jake and deftly stepped in front of him to place my hand on his forhead, showing him what happened the last time he wouldn't let up on his teasing. It had taken him a day and half to heal from what I'd done to him. Of course Daddy, Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose were in hysterics and Mom grounded me. She didn't have to though I felt bad enough and apologized to Jake for days afterward.

Jake looked at me afterward and quirked an eyebrow. Than he threw back his head and laughed at me. He laughed at me. He was going to pay.

He was still laughing as he stepped around me and continued to walk, looking for a place to phase.

My ire flared into full out anger. With another snarl I launched myself at him, tackling him roughly to the ground, knocking the wind out of both of us.

Oops...

Silence.

Then...

From underneath me I felt a gentle vibration that turned into a slight wheeze. Soon, the sound grew like thunder and Jake was laughing with humor and mischief and an element of pure joy that that never failed to make itself known when I was around him.

The sound made me burn and through the heat I could feel that I was molded against Jacob and that his large hands fit into the curves between my waist and hips as if they had been specifically designed to do so. We'd been in positions like this before, one or the other (usually Jacob) being pinned down to the ground. No big deal. Except my new and extremely inconvienient awareness of Jacob had been absent.

On sudden impulse, I slid my hands down his chest to settle on the clearly defined six pack that now was a source of curious fascination. How could a grouping of muscles be so beautiful? I began to lightly trace them with my finger tips, giving in to my curiousity. Something inexplainable had come over me, temporary insanity maybe? Whatever it was, it made me want to touch Jacob and not stop.

Jacob had gone completely rigid underneath me. My fingers grazed the top of his sweats and he shuddered, his breath hitching in an interesting way.

I gasped in surprise when his hands suddenly grabbed mine, taking them off his stomach and pinning them to my chest. My eyes flashed to his. Was it my imagination, or did his pupils look a little dialated?

"Nessie---what are you doing?" His voice was huskier than usual and strained somehow. Hurt flooded through me. What had I done wrong?

"I don't know," I whispered, hanging my head. I really didn't know what I was doing. I hadn't really been doing anything that could be painful. At the most I was tickling him. Was that why he was reacting like this?

He still hadn't answered me and my eyes pricked. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.

But my voice still wavered as I asked softly:

"Did I do something wrong?"

Alarm flashed across his face and he immediately pulled me close.

"No Nessie. No. I'm so sorry honey. I'm so sorry." His arms tightened around me and I didn't want to ever move. I liked it here. I was safe. Warm. Protected. I sighed and shifted so that I could place my hand to his cheek. I replayed the moment for him, showing him how he'd looked beneath me. The moment when his face had turned from playful to passionate to scared.

What did I do?

Jacob groaned and gently but firmly pushed me so I was at arm's length. "Ness, you did nothing. It's just that I--" He stopped.

"What?" I demanded.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Come on honey, let's go eat." He got up held out a hand to help me up. I refused it and got gracefully to my feet. "Jake," I said, not looking at him, "you better go phase if we're going to eat before Mom and Dad get out of class." He reached for me, but I stepped away and walked ahead of him. I felt extremely guilty for hurting him, I had never turned away in the whole of my life. But being close to him right now was just not an option. I didn't understand what was happening to me and I was still hurt from the way Jake had reacted.

Catching the sent of a herd of deer nearby, I shifted into a hunting stance and launched myself into the woods, the sad howl of a wolf following me.

*******

Authors Note: So? Good? Bad? Writing secondary characters is always hard. Whether they are yours or not. Anyways you know the drill. Ihope you all enjoy!