How to Get a Date

I don't own Hellsing. It belongs to Kouta Hirano.

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Pip grabbed a liter bottle of beer from the convenient store cooler before he walked to the cash register, digging around for his wallet in his pants' pocket. He pulled it out and looked inside. A neatly folded twenty Pound note was nestled within the folds of his wallet. And that was it. Payday wasn't for another two days, and that was the only money he had left.

He could survive until then, couldn't he?

The convenient store clerk scanned the beer and put it in a brown paper bag.

"That'll be five pounds." He growled before snatching up the twenty pounds that Pip offered.

He gave Pip his change, and he strode out of the store into the crisp night air, walking along the sidewalk to return to the Hellsing manor. Cold wind stung his face, and he pulled his scarf up to his nose as he walked.

Merde! I really need more money! He thought, walking around the small groups of people that clustered in the middle of the sidewalk.

But 'ow am I going to get zis money? I can't drive up ze rates for ze Wild Geese. Integra would get zat monster Alucard to kill us all…

Suddenly, an idea hit him.

I can sell one of zose 'ow to videos! 'Ow to what, zough?

He saw two women walking past him, talking and giggling.

Zat's it! "'Ow to Get a Date!" I just need a cameraman, and I'll be in business! But who will my cameraman be?

Pip went through a number of possibilities in his head. Although Alucard could probably get the best shots, it would be weird and scary to ask him. Walter was also out of the question. Integra depended heavily on him, and he probably wouldn't be able to get time off. The Wild Geese would probably make snide comments on the side, but he could make them shut up. Or he could ask Seras… and get slapped when she found out what he was doing.

So it would be the Wild Geese, then.

Pip came across the back entrance to the Hellsing estate, and as necessary, showed his identification card.

The man let out a grunt of approval, letting Pip inside.

Pip stepped into the doorway, appearing on the other side into a backroom with nothing but a small wooden table and three chairs and a couple of wooden crates.

Five men sat around the table, drinking beer, playing poker, and smoking cigars and cigarettes.

One man caught his interest, the perfect cameraman.

He was sitting in the back corner by the door, angling a piece of paper he was reading towards the light. Maybe it was a letter from his family. If his memory served him correctly, it was Ferdinand "Fred" Gonzalez, a quiet man who chose the path of a mercenary to support his family in Colombia. A wife and a daughter. How old was his kid? Five? Or was it six?

Ferdinand gazed at the letter with his dark brown eyes, lips forming the words, but he didn't say anything. He paused in his reading to smooth down his tousled black hair with a tanned hand.

"'Ey, Fred." Pip said, walking his way towards him.

Fred looked up from his letter, small smile forming on his lips.

"¿Si, Señor Pip?"

"I've got an idea for us to make money." Pip replied, opening the bottle of beer in his paper bag.

"Dios mio. What is your idea, señor?"

"I'm going to make one of zose 'ow to videos. I'm going to buy a camera when I get my paycheck. You in?" Pip held out his right hand, taking a swig of beer with his left.

Ferdinand thought about it for a minute or so, arching black eyebrows furrowed in thought. He finally gave his answer.

"I'm in." He nodded, shaking Pip's hand.

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And so the adventure begins! I promise that the next chapters will be longer than this, so think of this as the prologue. Review, please!