AN: I do not own the characters. Anything you recognise as Enid Blyton's is not mine. Unfortunately.

Don´t worry, there's no romance between cousins, it's just general madness :)

Location: Car

Mood: Angry with my parents. And depressed.

Time: 10 am

No way. Not again. God I am so sick of my parents. I have to go stay at Aunt May's house for the rest of the hols with Sam (oh yay!), Roger (Hurrah!) Dick (Fab!) Alicia (oh how jolly marvellous!) and probably her friend Betty (WOW!)

If you havn't noticed I am being sarcastic. They always do that. My parents I mean. They so want to get rid of me. The worst thing is my stupid brainless brothers are coming with me too. Ugh. Matthew and John and Tom are my brothers. Matthew is a year older than me (I'm 14) John's 13 and Tom's 8. Matthew is a smartass, John is Mr. Politically correct and Tom's just plain weird. His favourite game is playing to be dying. How normal is that?

Anyway, right now I'm in the car going to the dump. Well it's not a dump, it's actually a very big house in the country, the same countryside where I live, but still. I hate the place. You would too, if you'd met my dear cousins. Especially Alicia. And Sam. He's good looking. I still hate him though, even if I go all mushy and smiley on him sometimes, which is very embarassing. Why isn't he ugly and bald? It's not fair.

Location: Hell.

Mood: Mad mad mad mad at the world. And amused.

Time: 1pm (later today)

AAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!!! I've just been here for like half an hour and I'm already desperate to get out. As soon as I set foot in this house stupid Alicia began tormenting me.

Alicia: Why, hello, Rudolph. Are you pulling the sleigh tonight? (And then went off into peals of laughter. Beast. I suppose was a joke because of my red face flushed with the heat and anger, but it was NOT funny)

Me: Oh, haha. Where's my flipping room? (Only I didn't say flipping, which got her going on at me.)

Alicia: WHAT? Just wait until I get going at you, you disrespectful little wretch... (blaah blah blah. God she is such a hypocrite, I've heard her use worse swearwords.)

Me, cutting her off: Yeah, whatever you say. I know where my room is, so excuse me. (I pushed past her, but she followed me. Gosh she is so annoying.)

Alicia: Betty's here, so I dare say you'll be on your best behaviour. Or else.

Me: Best Behaviour? MOI? For UGLY BETTY? HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

I kept on laughing like a mad hyena just to annoy her. It did. She wacked me on the arm. Good grief, she has NO sense of humour. Not that it was very humorous, but still.

So I started screaming: "CHILD ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE!!!" And Alicia's face went bright red with anger. It was so hilarious. I skipped off into my room and locked myself in. Only someone was there already.

Me: Betty, GET OUT OF HERE!

Betty: Well hello to you too, my DEAR June. How stupendous to see you again.

Me: GET OUT!!!

Betty: We're sharing, stupid. What did you expect? A room of your own?

Me: Um, YES! I had my own room last time, unless I suffer of amnesia which I seriously doubt.

Betty: My darling little nincompoop, may I ask how many were you last time?

Me: Why?

Betty: Because, my putrid lamb, your brothers have come to stay here as well, which means there are more lives staying in this home and not enough rooms. Which means probably everyone will have to share. I am sharing with you, unfortunately, and so is Alicia. There are three beds, see? One, two, three.

Me: MERDE!!!

14th August

Location: Cupboard

Mood: Very very very embarassed and MAD at myself. But mostly embarassed. Very embarassed.

Time: 9 pm

Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. My life is RUINED. Why oh why am I so soft and undignified? I am so so so flipping EMBARASSED!!! I'll tell you what happened:

OK so I was innocently taking a stroll when Sam came along. With his deep blue eyes. With his blonde hair blowing in the wind. GOD SHUT UP JUNE!!!

Anyway...what was I saying? Oh yes. Anyway he came up to me and this was the very humiliating conversation between us (of course, it started with him annoying me):

Mr Georgous...I mean SAM!!!: Hello, idiot. What the heck are you doing out at this time? Get back in the house!

Me: I...can stay out if I want...to... (Intended to be said fiercely, but came out all breathless and mushy. DARN DARN DARN!!!)

Sam (smirking. He noticed my stupid stupid mushiness): Go inside. It's not right for little girls to be out so late. (Emphasizing the "little girls")

Me: You're so annoying! You want to know what exactly you are, Sam Johns?! (YES!!! It came out fiercely like I wanted it to!)

Sam: Fine. What exactly am I? (smiling gorgeously)

Me: Well um...umm... (QUIT LOOKING AT HIS EYES!!! Which are a gorgeous deep blue and...STOP IT!!!)

Me: Well, you're a...um...OH FORGET IT!!!

AND THEN I RAN AWAY!!!!!! AAARGHHHH!!!

SO EMBARASSING!!! He was totally laughing his head off! Worst thing is Alicia and Betty were nearby. They were hysterical.

I am going to stay in this cupboard for as long as I live.

AN: sorry for the short chapter, next one will be longer and hopfully funnier. Plz review! I'll give you cookies. And Ice cream. And cake. With a cherry on top. :D