Mad? Sorry. I totally ran out of ideas, but then they came to me as I wrote!! Get ready for a REALLY long read.

Warning: Those who are very sensitive to South Park pairings please do not read. You might not approve. This chapter is FILLED with slashes and twists.

Disclaimer: NO, I don't own any South park characters. Suck my balls.

Time was ticking, and it was almost the end to another school day. Mr. Garrison was just finishing up class with book-report presentations. Token was just finishing his, and he got a well-deserved A.

"Good job buddy," Craig said, giving Token a small high-five while he was walking back to his seat.

"Thanks," he replied, grinning.

Craig's turn for presenting his book report was coming soon, if he wasn't saved by the bell to save him from school. He glanced down at his ugly-girl book. It was bright green, and had a blue stick-girl on it.

"Stargirl," Craig muttered under his breath.

He hated the book with all his guts, and put no effort into his book report. The reason he got stuck with the book Stargirl was because he was absent the day the children had to pick their proper book-report books. There was a low variety of book-report books to choose from, because they had to pick a book out of the pile of books Mr. Garrison had left them.

He glared at his book in disgust, and peeked at his project. He had done a pathetic book-cube project, with; setting, summary, characters, problem, conflict, and character description written on each of the cubes faces. First of all, the cube didn't look like a cube. It was more in the shape of a shoe-box; he had messed up on the net of a cube the night before making it.

"Procrastinator," he mumbled to himself.

He then looked at his work. He was pretty sure his work was wrong, and what he had written down on the cube had false information that had nothing to do with the book. He hadn't really read the book, he had just rolled his eyes, and set the book aside, claiming it was a chick-book. Not that he cared. He only skimmed through it, and set it aside.

"Very good Eric, that was marvelous! Very good choice of book," Mr. Garrison said proudly to Cartman. "You get an A! Let's all clap for Eric!"

"Thank you Mr. Garrison," Cartman smirked, chuckling, in his 'good-two-shoes' stance. He bowed, and took a seat.

Craig wondered why Cartman had gotten such praise from Mr. Garrison. Cartman's projects usually sucked balls, and they always had something to do with racism or Kyle. Craig looked at Cartman's project. It was disgustingly horrible. His bold chicken scratch writing was written everywhere on a dirty piece of yellow paper. He had merely written a summary that was only half a page. Craig quickly got confused. He looked at the book Cartman was holding; 'Valley of Penises' by Herbert Garrison.

Craig rolled his eyes. No wonder he had gotten such a good mark! The book he had chosen was written by Mr. Garrison himself! He probably got the mark because Mr. Garrison was so flattered somebody actually wanted to read his attempt of a novel, Craig thought.

He had to admit though; it was a clever thing to do. Dammit, why hadn't I thought of that?

"Uh, Craig, you're up next" Mr. Garrison commanded, gesturing Craig to come up in front of the classroom. "Cheeldren, this is the last book-report presentation for today." The kids cheered.

Craig got a bit nervous, and put his things together. He took his stupid shoe-box cube up to the classroom meekly.

"Name of book?" Mr. Garrison questioned.

"Stargirl," Craig muttered.

Cartman burst out laughing. "HA, HA, HAHAH! Cer-aig, you are SUCH a fag!"

"Shut up Cartman! It was the only book left!" He retorted back.

All the girls in his class we're swooning and squealing of how attractive and cute it was in a man to read romances. Craig snorted; he didn't read Stargirl because he wanted to.

"Hey- I think it's adorable, and very attractive in a man!" A high-pitched quiet voice said, from the back of the classroom. It was Wendy. She gave Craig a pretty lip-glossed smile. Craig raised an eyebrow and continued.

"Wendy!" Stan screamed, shocked of how much of a tramp Wendy sounded like. He was ready for a full commitment, where she wouldn't even look at other men. Stan was very overprotective over his delicate girlfriend.

Wendy giggled proudly, "It's okay Stan-ey, I love you too."

Stan stood dumbfounded, surprised of her choice of words. Kyle watched smirking; maybe he was going to be hanging out with Stan a lot more this week…

"Um, did that girl say she loved me?" Craig asked, glancing over at Wendy and Stan repeditly. He felt his face getting hot.

"Apparently, yes," Stan said in a snobbish voice, looking at the opposite direction of Wendy. He secretly felt depressed inside.

"You don't need to be so overprotective over it," Wendy snapped back, ignoring Stan for the rest of class.

"No cheeldren, not another interruption! Get on with your god-damn project Craig," Mr. Garrison ordered, giving the spotlight to Craig.

Craig looked at his audience. Most of the girls were batting their eyelashes wildly, staring at him in awe and adoration. The guys, on the other hand, were holding in giggles, and others watching Stan curiously, they had just watched a little quarrel between him and Wendy. Hey, Stan was a popular guy, and if that meant Stan was going to break up with Wendy, other guys could hook up with her. Wendy was a precious treasure, intelligent, gorgeous and funny. She flipped back her glossy, black hair out of her face, and turned her attention to Craig.

Craig cleared his throat. He winced at his stupid project, which was apparently unreadable, so he decided he had to present his project with memorization what he remembered from the book.

"Okay, um, the summary of Stargirl…" Craig kicked his stupid project away from sight, since it was useless if he couldn't read his own writing. "Alright, so basically what Stargirl is about is; there's a girl called Suzie, who is love with a guy called Leopold, and um... he doesn't really like her, and then in the end he does." He blinked; he knew that's not what actually happened. He waited for somebody to correct him.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!" Wendy protested, getting up from her seat. She sprinted to the head of the class room, and pushed Craig away from the spotlight. Craig blinked, and shrugged. Mr. Garrison didn't really mind, he liked watching debates.

"Okay, first of all Craig," Wendy said dirtily, putting a lot of expression on Craig's name. "Stargirl's real name isn't Suzie, its Susan Caraway. AND Leo's name isn't Leopold!"

Craig shrugged, and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

Wendy calmed down, and loosed up a bit, and felt flirty. That was adorable, she thought. And it was really cute how he just gave in. She glanced away from Craig, her long dark eyelashes covering her gorgeous grey eyes. She felt a tint of pink blush covering her pale face. There was a silence at the front of the class.

"Wendy, you can sit down now," Stan barked, protectively, breaking the silence. He hated to watch Wendy be attracted to other men. Kyle giggled at Stan's over-protectiveness.

"Okay, I think I will," Wendy agreed, checking her forehead for her body temperature. She felt she was getting hot, with something. Her face was blushing a bright scarlet-red, and her stomach began to feel queasy. Craig noticed, and felt a bit flattered. I mean, hey, how many times a day does the most gorgeous, popular girl in school get attracted to a mutt like him?

"Woo! Stan! I think you're losing your girlfriend," Cartman said, nudging him in the arm. Cartman winked at Wendy, and mouthed 'call-me.' She scoffed back in disgust. Kyle was secretly smirking the whole time.

"No, I love Stan," Wendy said quietly, and calmly resting her head on her desk. Cartman shook his head in pity.

Craig didn't really care, he had just learned Wendy's name starting today, so he could care less who she was or wasn't in love with. He really needed to pay attention to other kids in his class when being in school with them for five years…

"Alright, um- carrying on," Craig said, glaring playfully at Wendy, she giggled and shrugged back. For some reason, he liked to make Stan jealous after what he had heard from Kyle on the bus. Stan seemed like a complete douche bag, and Craig wanted to get back at him for what he did to Kyle. Craig continued to jabber false information on the book Stargirl. Wendy kept flirtatiously disagreeing with Craig, and helped him off his feet, and basically presented his project for him. Stan tried to impress Wendy time to time, by saying he liked romances too, but she just ignored him, and continued flirting with Craig.

By the time the bell rang to go home, Stan was left into a dirty depression. Craig didn't regret flirting with Wendy, he'd never felt more free.

Clyde, Token and Tweek were all parting home.

"Whoa Craig, since when did you get so horny?" Clyde questioned playfully, winking at Craig. Token and Tweek nodded in agreement.

"Huh?" Craig tilted his head innocently, and tried to act clueless.

"Yeah dude! ARGH- I've never seen you so…so...So- attracted towards girls! ACH! Why can't I get chicks?! AGH!" Tweek screamed, pulling out bits of his hair.

Craig rubbed the back of his head, blushing. "Heh, I guess I just wanted to have a bit of fun today."

Token scoffed. "It looked like you were trying to steal Stan's girlfriend!"

"Whatever dude," Craig giggled evilly.

"Okay, so Token and I are walking home," Craig stated, gesturing in himself and Token.

Craig nodded slowly, as if he was expecting something.

"ARGH! Craig! Sorry man- URGH- my parents won't let me on the bus anymore. They- worry too much!" Tweek screamed, shaking his head violently.

"Oh…that's okay you guys," Craig said calmly, smiling. "I'll be fine without you guys."

Clyde, Token and Tweek didn't take any offence, and nodded thankfully. They parted directions, and Craig marched into a loud, noisy bus. The first person he was looking for to sit with was Kyle. He saw the green-hat boy, and Kyle had caught Craig's glance.

"Craig!" Kyle shouted, waving at the back of the bus, gesturing Craig to sit with him.

Craig quickly made his way towards Kyle, and they easily squished each other onto the same seat. They were both about the same size, and height. Kyle was a measly inch taller than Craig though.

"Hey dude," Kyle said casually, taking a quick glance at his surroundings. He pulled closer to Craig, and put his mouth as close as he could to Craig's ear. "Do you like Wendy or something?"

"Hm? Wendy? Aw…no!" Craig said, pulling away, shaking his head.

Kyle smiled, and raised an eyebrow. "Well, in class, you looked like you had a strong liking towards her."

"Aw, why does everybody keep saying that? Sure, I flirted with a girl…once. That doesn't mean I like her!" Craig huffed.

Kyle blinked. "Oh… well, it was just surprising- I mean, I've never seen you act that way towards a girl."

Craig shrugged one shoulder, and an evil smirk was slowly covering his face. His fake grew darker. "Puberty."

Kyle chuckled, and shook his head sarcastically. "Well, if you use your 'puberty' on Wendy again, Stan's gunna beat the shit out of you!"

"Stan?"

"Yeah, he was shooting daggers at you with his eyes! He looked sooo jealous; Wendy was walking all over you!" Kyle blabbered like a 15-year-old girl gossiping.

"Well sor-ee," Craig said sarcastically. There was a pause between conversations.

"Hey- Craig?"

"Mm?"

"Do you like anyone?"

"Nah, not really…"

"Oh, because I do."

Craig chocked on Kyle's words, and gave him the most dirty, confused look ever. Kyle gave in, and blushed lightly.

"I know, me, having a crush," Kyle said. "Sound crazy, doesn't it?"

Craig nodded. "Who is it?"

"I don't think I should tell you."

"Why?"

"You might have a heart attack."

Craig paused for a moment before speaking.

"…Why…is it me?" Craig chocked on his words, and gulped.

"No!" Kyle giggled.

"Who is it then?"

Kyle quickly regretted giving out too much information. He stuttered for a moment. "Look…Craig," Kyle said, looking out the window, shifting uncontrollably through his seat. "Please don't take this personally, but I'll tell you later. I'm half sure I even like this kid. Could I please tell you…later?"

Craig nodded understanding. He showed a little bit of disappointment. "I understand."

Kyle saw Craig's disappointed face, and tried to brighten it up. "But…I could tell you one secret."

"Hm? What's that?" Craig questioned eagerly.

"Let's play a game."

"What kind of game?"

"I tell you a secret, and you tell me one."

"Deal."

Craig and Kyle shook hands.

"I'll go first," Kyle suggested, tapping his lip with his index finger, trying to find a secret to share. His eyes suddenly widened after a while. "I got one! Okay, promise you won't laugh?"

"Mm, I promise."

Kyle took a deep breath, and shut his eyes tight. He began to hesitate. "Cartman kissed me once."

"WHAT?!" Craig fell out of his seat, and stared at Kyle as if he was an alien from planet Marklar (A/N: GET IT?!). He got up, his eyes wide and round.

"HUSH!" Kyle shouted, looking around, to see if anybody had noticed. He put his index finger on Craig's lips to shut him up.

"Why? When?" Craig stammered, like a hot pepper.

"Alright, remember at the end of grade seven, when Cartman and I left randomly in the middle of class?" Kyle asked, keeping Craig on track.

Craig rolled his eyes sarcastically. "How am I supposed to remember days where you skipped school?"

Kyle's eyes lost interest. "Stay with me."

"Carry on!" Craig protested.

"Okay, so Garrison told Cartman and I to bring the attendance report to the office, and Cartman had to go to the washroom," Kyle stammered, and blushed through the memory. "I followed him…" Kyle stopped and looked out the window, his cheeks tainted with red and pink tones.

Craig nodded, moving closer to Kyle. "What happened?"

"He started telling me…" Kyle almost didn't have the heart to say the words. "He told me the translations to his words."

"Pardon?"

"Jew meant 'beautiful', shut up meant 'I love you' and…" Kyle said, and he stopped. He took a deep breath. "And I hate you, meant I want to kiss you."

Craig blinked. "Since when was Cartman so affectionate?"

"I don't know…but, after he told me what those words actually meant, I was mesmerized. I couldn't move. As I stood traumatized, he kissed me. Of course, I couldn't do anything about it, the boy had me pinned to the wall!" Kyle panted, huffing out a large amount of air.

"Does he still love you?" Craig asked, keen for an answer.

"Um, no," Kyle stuttered.

"How do you know that?"

"After he kissed me, I immediately looked away, and told him the truth."

Craig waited.

"I told him I didn't love him," Kyle concluded.

"What did he do?" Craig questioned, curious for an answer from Eric Cartman.

"He started crying." Kyle pleaded, beginning to tear up himself.

That wasn't what Craig had expected. Craig expected that Cartman would have attacked Kyle, or walked away. Henceforth, Craig didn't reply, he just stared at Kyle blankly.

"He told me that the translation was also broken," Kyle said darkly, hanging his head low.

"That's sort of sad." Craig admitted, feeling the slightest bit of pity for Cartman. "I never knew Cartman was like…that."

"Hey, what can you expect? Cartman's a quarter bi. His grandpa was a bi, so that makes him a quarter bi." Kyle giggled, added humor to the dark moment.

Craig joined, and chuckled for a moment, but it quickly faded.

"I guess Cartman is just into the people he says he hates," Kyle said, shrugging it off.

This made Craig think. A lot.

OMG! What a long read/write! Holy crap… this is like 8 pages! Insane! I hope reading wasn't such a trouble for you, and I wouldn't have minded if you skimmed through it. Long, long reviews aren't necessary, because this was SUCH a long chapter. BUT, reviews ARE necessary. :)